SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Sunday, January 27, 2008

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: sportingnews.com

 
Jan 20, 2008 02:11 PM  |  2042 views 
With the Super Bowl almost here, I want to welcome you to a Super Bowl MVP edition of "Where are They Now", with some Fun Facts along the way. Currently, the Super Bowl MVP winner is chosen by a panel of members of the media, and the fans. The media panel's ballots count for 80% of the votes, while the fans' ballots count for 20%. The fans may vote online during the game. Prior to Super Bowl XXXV, only the media panel selected the MVP. Here are some Super Bowl MVP Fun Facts: Chuck Howley (Super Bowl V MVP) is the only MVP winner from the losing team. Of the 42 Super Bowl MVPs, only 8 defensive players (2 of them co-MVPs) have won the recognition. Only once has a special team player (kick returner Desmond Howard) won the honor. Joe Montana holds the record for earning this honor the most times with three MVPs. If you want to read a great post on Montana check out Kohphares "UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL WITH JOE MONTANA". The Dallas Cowboys own the record for the most players to win the MVP with 7. Since Super Bowl XXV, the Super Bowl MVP winner is awarded the Pete Rozelle Trophy, named after the former commissioner of the NFL who served from 1960 to 1989. Currently, the award is sponsored by Cadillac and the winner is presented with a brand new Cadillac automobile of his choice. In previous years, the Super Bowl MVP was awarded a brand new Buick automobile and a watch. Only the Universities of Georgia can claim to have produced three Super Bowl MVPs. (Jake Scott (VII), Terrell Davis (XXXII), and Hines Ward (XL)), Super Bowl MVP's by position: 21 quarterbacks, 7 running backs, 5 wide receivers, 2 defensive ends, 2 linebackers, 2 safeties, 1 cornerback, 1 defensive tackle, 1 kick returner/punt returner. Now here are a few MVP's and "Where are They Now".


Leonard "Len" Dawson (age 72) Super Bowl IV, MVP: For the last 16 years, he's been a member of the Chiefs Radio Broadcast Team in addition to his duties as sports director for KMBC-TV in Kansas City. From 1977 to 2001, he served as the host of HBO's Inside the NFL. In 2006, Dawson was interviewed for the NFL Network documentary America's Game: The Super Bowl Champions the 1969 Kansas City Chiefs season. Len is active in the community and focuses much of his energy on charity work. He has raised money for countless charitable organizations, especially those that help needy children. Len and wife Jacqueline have two grown children. He and his family live in Kansas City. Fun Fact: As a sophomore in 1954, Dawson put together an outstanding first season as the NCAA's leader in pass efficiency, while also playing defense and serving as the Boilermaker kicker.



Roger Staubach (age 65) Super Bowl VI, MVP: In 1977, Staubach capitalized on his football fame and started a commercial real estate business, The Staubach Company headquartered in Dallas which has been his primary endeavor since retirement from football. On June 20, 2007, Staubach announced he would step down as chief executive of the multi-billion dollar real estate company he started 30 years earlier. Staubach is a part owner in Hall of Fame Racing, a NASCAR Nextel Cup team, which began racing in the 2006 season. In the early 1980s, Staubach worked for a short time as a color commentator for CBS Sports. Staubach is now building a residence in the Preston Hollow neighborhood of north Dallas. Fun Fact: Know as "Captain Comeback" for his many fourth quarter heroics, Staubach had an ability for leading scoring drives which would lead the Cowboys to improbable victories. He led his team to twenty-three come-from-behind victories in the fourth quarter, with 17 of these coming in the last two minutes.



Lawrence "Larry" Csonka (age 61) Super Bowl VIII, MVP: Csonka worked for the United States Football League (USFL) Jacksonville Bulls in the mid-1980s, first as director of scouting and then as General Manager. He was also an analyst on the popular syndicated show American Gladiators from 1990-1993. Csonka currently resides in Anchorage, Alaska. He also maintains a farm in Lisbon, Ohio and operates Goodrich Seafood House in Oak Hill, Florida where guides depart daily with clients fishing the famous Mosquito Lagoon. Larry continues to work in the "public eye" as host and producer of an outdoor adventure program, "NAPA's North to Alaska" which airs on Versus (formerly Outdoor Life Network) Saturdays at 12:30 EST. This program showcases Larry's experience as a fisherman and hunter and his enthusiasm for outdoor sports and conservation. In early September, 2005, Csonka and five others were returning by boat to the village of Nikolski on Umnak Island in Alaska's Aleutian's after filming a reindeer hunt on the island for Csonka's TV show. The boat was caught in a severe storm and nearly capsized. They rode out the storm for 10 hours before a Coast Guard helicopter could reach them and rescue them one-by-one in a basket. In 2006, Csonka pled guilty and paid a small fine for filming on National Forest land in Alaska and failing to obtain the required special use permit for production of his cable show. Csonka currently appears in television commercials for the Alaska Spine Institute, an Anchorage based physical rehabilation center. Csonka also travels the country visiting various clubs and corporations as a Sports Humor/Motivational Speaker, operating within his own company known as Csonka Promotions, Inc. His speeches are laced with humor and dramatic personal experiences, and have been well received by some of the nation's top companies. Fun Fact: Dolphins' offensive line coach Monte Clark was asked about Csonka's bruising running style, and responded with this great quote. "When Csonka goes on safari, the lions roll up their windows."



Lynn Curtis Swann (age 55) Super Bowl X, MVP: Swann was a football and sports broadcaster for ABC Sports from 1976 to 2005 and briefly hosted the television game show To Tell the Truth, on which he had previously appeared as a panelist, on NBC from 1990 to 1991.His fourteen-week run as emcee ended, and he was replaced by Alex Trebek. He also made a cameo appearance on Mister Roger's Neighborhood. Swann is the former Chairman of the United States President's Council on Physical Fitness and Sports and serves as a director on the boards of HJ Heinz Co. and Wyndham International. Swann, who resides in the Pittsburgh suburb of Sewickley Heights, Pennsylvania, indicated that he was considering seeking the Republican nomination for Governor of Pennsylvania in the 2006 election. On February 23, 2005, Swann filed papers with the state elections board stating his intention to run. On the same day he formed a fundraising committee called Team 88 after his Steeler jersey number. On January 4, 2006 Swann formally declared his candidacy for Governor of Pennsylvania. Swann's opponents in the Republican primary scheduled for May 16, 2006 had initially included Jim Panyard, Pennsylvania State Senator Jeff Piccola, and former Pennsylvania Lt. Governor William W. Scranton, III. After Swann received the endorsement of the Republican state committee on February 11, 2006, all three opponents quit the race, leaving Swann as the only Republican to have filed by the deadline of March 7, 2006. In the end, Swann lost the election with 40% of the vote to incumbent Ed Rendell's 60%. Fun Fact: In Super Bowl X, Swann recorded four catches for a Super Bowl record 161 yards and a touchdown in the game, assisting the Steelers to a 21-17 win and becoming the first wide receiver to earn Super Bowl MVP honors.



Douglas "Doug" Williams (age 52) Super Bowl XII, MVP: After retiring from the NFL, Williams excelled on the high school level as head coach and athletic director at Point Coupee High School in New Roads, Louisiana in 1991. In 1993, he was head coach at Northeast High School in his hometown of Zachary, La., where he guided the team to a 13-1 record and the state semifinals. In 1995, he was offensive coordinator for the Scottish Claymores of the World League of American Football. Williams started off his college head coaching career at Morehouse College in 1997. Williams became the head football coach at Grambling State University in 1998, succeeding the legendary Eddie Robinson. He led the Tigers to 3 consecutive Southwestern Athletic Conference titles from 2000-2002, he then left to join the Tampa Bay Buccaneers as a personnel executive. His son Adrian is a accomplished basketball player, who currently plays for Brown. Fun Fact: In Super Bowl XII, Williams engineered a 42-10 rout, in which the Redskins set an NFL record by scoring five touchdowns in the second quarter. Williams completed 18 of 29 passes for 340 yards, with four TD passes, and was named Super Bowl MVP.

 









Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: columbusdispatch.com

A cross section of the year in sports quotes.

Say what?

"I think they hustle and they look good and they don't have a lot of fat kids." -- Penn State coach Joe Paterno on the Temple team coached by one of his former players, Al Golden

"I don't expect you people to have agreed with what I've done -- and if I did (care), I would have asked your opinion." -- Bob Knight, after winning his 800th game

"Let's go, squirrel!" -- Chant by fans when a squirrel climbed the foul pole in Yankee Stadium for the second consecutive night

"He had a look in his eye that said, 'It's my night.' " -- Robert Indeglia, chief judge of the Westminster Dog Show, on Diamond Jim, an English springer spaniel who won best in show over a dog co-owned by comedian Bill Cosby

"I would like to apologize to all the fans that were at the stadium that day, especially the children."-- former major-league All-Star Jose Offerman, after he attacked two opponents with a bat during an Atlantic League game

"Changes in history usually occur after some kind of catastrophic event. It may be 9-11, which sort of changed the spirit of America relative to catastrophic events. Pearl Harbor kind of got us ready for World War II, or whatever, and that was a catastrophic event." -- Nick Saban, Alabama coach, after his team lost to Louisiana-Monroe

Winners and losers

"I'm happy." -- Bill Belichick, the effusive Patriots coach, after his team completed a 16-0 regular season

"It's the most impossible thing to get done, and we got it done. And (three) years later, we did it again." -- David Ortiz, after the Red Sox swept the Rockies in the World Series

"I'm going to praise them today and bark at them tomorrow." -- Appalachian State coach Jerry Moore, explaining how he gave his players an extra day off to enjoy their victory over Michigan

"I didn't want to turn around at all and look at it." -- LeBron James, who snuck off the floor amid pandemonium after his Cavs were swept by San Antonio in the NBA Finals

"I like fast cars, but not too fast. I don't want to get myself into trouble." -- Sidney Crosby, to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, before he became the youngest player to win the NHL scoring title

"We just got in a funk at the wrong time." -- Outfielder Shawn Green, after the Mets blew a seven-game lead with 17 games remaining and missed the playoffs

"This will probably go down in history as one of the greatest games ever." -- Boise State running back Ian Johnson, after the Broncos beat Oklahoma in overtime in the Fiesta Bowl. Johnson proposed to his cheerleader/girlfriend in the immediate aftermath. She said yes.

"It sure wouldn't have been as romantic if we had lost." -- Boise State QB Jared Zabranski, on Johnson's marriage proposal

"This wasn't the best team we've played." -- Florida safety Ryan Smith, after the Gators beat the Buckeyes 41-14 in the BCS title game

Scandal related

"The report is simply not true." -- Roger Clemens, one of the biggest names mentioned in the Mitchell Report, which provides a sketch of steroid use in baseball

"I know when all of this is over, I'll be vindicated because I am innocent." -- Barry Bonds, on his Web site, after he pleaded not guilty to perjury and obstruction charges during a federal probe of BALCO

"I don't have any thoughts on Barry. I don't even know how to spell his name." -- Hank Aaron, before Bonds broke his career home run record

"We don't say anything about people shooting deer or other animals. From what I hear, dog fighting is a sport. It's just behind closed doors." -- Stephon Marbury, Knicks guard, on the Michael Vick indictment

"Is there any other question on the Chargers? OK. Yep. That's all. OK. Thank you." -- Belichick, after being asked about his practice of illegally stealing signals. Belichick then walked out of his weekly news conference

"I don't think you can ruin my legacy. How can you ruin it? What I've done, I've done. You can't take it away, can you?" -- Florida State coach Bobby Bowden, after a raft of his players were suspended for cheating on exams

"Marion Jones will be remembered as one of the biggest frauds in sporting history." -- International Association of Athletics Federation president Lamine Diack, after Jones admitted steroid use and relinquished her Olympic track medals

"This is the most serious situation and worst situation that I have ever experienced either as a fan of the NBA, a lawyer for the NBA or a commissioner of the NBA." -- David Stern, on referee Tim Donaghy, who allegedly bet large sums on games he worked

Farewell

"He walked with generals, senators and secretaries of state, but he never lost his common touch." -- Harry Edwards, eulogist at Bill Walsh's funeral

"I almost expect Coach to start rounding us up for the bus." -- Gary "Big Hands" Johnson, among former teammates at Eddie Robinson's funeral

"One of our sons said that, on the phone, David sounded like God, if He had called." -- Anna Quindlen, eulogist at David Halberstam's funeral

"He was to football what Jackie Robinson was to baseball, and he did it before Jackie Robinson." -- Jim Tressel, upon the retirement of Bill Willis' No. 99 in Ohio Stadium. Willis passed away three weeks later.




FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: eastvalleytribune.com

SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS & MVPS

2007—Indianapolis (AFC) 29, Chicago (NFC) 17
Peyton Manning, QB, Indianapolis

2006—Pittsburgh (AFC) 21, Seattle (NFC) 10
Hines Ward, WR, Pittsburgh

2005—New England (AFC) 24, Philadelphia (NFC) 21
Deion Branch, WR, New England

2004—New England (AFC) 32, Carolina (NFC) 29
Tom Brady, QB, New England

2003—Tampa Bay (NFC) 48, Oakland (AFC) 21
Dexter Jackson, FS, Tampa Bay

2002—New England (AFC) 20, St. Louis (NFC) 17
Tom Brady, QB, New England

2001—Baltimore (AFC) 34, N.Y. Giants (NFC) 7
Ray Lewis, LB, Baltimore

2000—St. Louis (NFC) 23, Tennessee (AFC) 16
Kurt Warner, QB, St. Louis

1999—Denver (AFC) 34, Atlanta (NFC) 19
John Elway, QB, Denver

1998—Denver (AFC) 31, Green Bay (NFC) 24
Terrell Davis, RB, Denver

1997
—Green Bay (NFC) 35, New England (AFC) 21
Desmond Howard, KR, Green Bay

1996—Dallas (NFC) 27, Pittsburgh (AFC) 17
Larry Brown, CB, Dallas

1995—San Francisco (NFC) 49, San Diego (AFC) 26
Steve Young, QB, San Francisco

1994—Dallas (NFC) 30, Buffalo (AFC) 13
Emmitt Smith, RB, Dallas

1993—Dallas (NFC) 52, Buffalo (AFC) 17
Troy Aikman, QB, Dallas

1992—Washington (NFC) 37, Buffalo (AFC) 24
Mark Rypien, QB, Washington

1991—N.Y. Giants (NFC) 20, Buffalo (AFC) 19
Ottis Anderson, RB, N.Y. Giants

1990—San Francisco (NFC) 55, Denver (AFC) 10
Joe Montana, QB, San Francisco

1989—San Francisco (NFC) 20, Cincinnati (AFC) 16
Jerry Rice, WR, San Francisco

1988—Washington (NFC) 42, Denver (AFC) 10
Doug Williams, QB, Washington

1987—N.Y. Giants (NFC) 39, Denver (AFC) 20
Phil Simms, QB, N.Y. Giants

1986—Chicago (NFC) 46, New England (AFC) 10
Richard Dent, DE, Chicago

1985—San Francisco (NFC) 38, Miami (AFC) 16
Joe Montana, QB, San Francisco

1984—L.A. Raiders (AFC) 38, Washington (NFC) 9
Marcus Allen, RB, L.A. Raiders

1983—Washington (NFC) 27, Miami (AFC) 17
John Riggins, RB, Washington

1982
—San Francisco (NFC) 26, Cincinnati (AFC) 21
Joe Montana, QB, San Francisco

1981—Oakland (AFC) 27, Philadelphia (NFC) 10
Jim Plunkett, QB, Oakland

1980—Pittsburgh (AFC) 31, L.A. Rams (NFC) 19
Terry Bradshaw, QB, Pittsburgh

1979—Pittsburgh (AFC) 35, Dallas (NFC) 31
Terry Bradshaw, QB, Pittsburgh

1978—Dallas (NFC) 27, Denver (AFC) 10
Randy White, DT and Harvey Martin, DE, Dallas

1977—Oakland (AFC) 32, Minnesota (NFC) 14
Fred Biletnikoff, WR, Oakland

1976—Pittsburgh (AFC) 21, Dallas (NFC) 17
Lynn Swann, WR, Pittsburgh

1975—Pittsburgh (AFC) 16, Minnesota (NFC) 6
Franco Harris, RB, Pittsburgh

1974—Miami (AFC) 24, Minnesota (NFC) 7
Larry Csonka, RB, Miami

1973—Miami (AFC) 14, Washington (NFC) 7
Jake Scott, S, Miami

1972—Dallas (NFC) 24, Miami (AFC) 3
Roger Staubach, QB, Dallas

1971—Baltimore Colts (AFC) 16, Dallas (NFC) 13
Chuck Howley, LB, Dallas

1970—Kansas City (AFL) 23, Minnesota (NFL) 7
Len Dawson, QB, Kansas City

1969—N.Y. Jets (AFL) 16, Baltimore Colts (NFL) 7
Joe Namath, QB, N.Y. Jets

1968—Green Bay (NFL) 33, Oakland (AFL) 14
Bart Starr, QB, Green Bay

1967
—Green Bay (NFL) 35, Kansas City (AFL) 10
Bart Starr, QB, Green Bay