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Wednesday, December 12, 2007
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ source: pgatour.com
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: Andyroddick.com
TENNIS QUOTES
"I think the medical term is "the bottom of my ass hurts." (Laughing)" – Andy after being forced to retire against Andy Murray at the Sony Ericsson Open.
ANDY RODDICK: A lot of questions about me coming in, I played. The boys kind of clinched and played their role perfectly. Patrick was super, as well (laughter). He sat well.
CAPTAIN McENROE: I gave you your towel really well, didn't I?
ANDY RODDICK: No, you dropped it (laughter). – Andy bantering with the press at the Davis Cup quarterfinals in Winstom Salem.
"Man, here's the deal with golf. Every time I play golf, I got to buy a new set of clubs. It's not relaxing for me. I go mental. The ball's not even moving and I can't hit it right. I haven't reached the point in my life where I have the patience level it takes to play golf. And I don't have the pants." – Andy lamenting his golfing struggles at Wimbledon
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: news.bbc.co.uk
Redknapp's plans to stick to a prepared statement don't last long.
"People say we are having no luck, but we are - it's just all bad.''
Southgate is desperately in need of a rabbit foot or two.
"The fire is always ready but now it looks as though you are burned on the village green quicker than ever before."
Arsene Wenger gets fired-up about the number of managers getting the boot.
"It's red hot on the field, it's red hot in the dressing room and what do you get for lunch? Red-hot curry."
Aggers gets hot under the collar in Sri Lanka.
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Tuesday, December 11, 2007
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: peaceinspiration.com
Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can't play it. ~Ted Ray
If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. ~Paul Gallico
Golf is like an 18-year-old girl with big boobs. You know it's wrong but you can't keep away from her. ~Val Doonican
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: comedy-zone.net
Mike Royko.
"The greatest feeling in the world is to win a major league game. The second-greatest feeling is to lose a major league game."
Chuck Tanner.
"Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona."
George F. Will.
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Monday, December 10, 2007
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: atholtonsports.com
"We've got a 260-yard approach to win the Open, and we've got to stick it on the green." — Todd Jones on what the Tigers needed to do to make the playoffs.
"I'm surprised more people don't get injured out there. It's as bad as there is. It's worse than playing in a parking lot. It looks like they had a monster truck rally. It's terrible. There's potholes. It's bad. It's unsafe." — Adam Dunn on the Wrigley Field outfield where Ken Griffey Jr.'s season ended with a groin injury last week.
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: Uniformviolation.com
FOOTBALL QUOTES
NFL Uniform Quotables
"People try to make a big deal out of it. It's not any different than Chad [Johnson] going to the sidelines and taking [out] a coat. All I had was a little towel, and now they want to make that into a big deal."
Terrell Owens, Dallas Cowboys
Source: The Dallas Morning News (2007)
"It's a little ridiculous, but it's league policy. We've got a new commissioner who wants to enforce the rules, and we have to stick by them."
Jerome Mathis, Houston Texans
Source: Houston Chronicle (2007)
"I guess if they're going to pay a guy a million dollars, they've got to find a way to get $5,000 or $10,000 back from him" ... "So my socks were too low? Who complains about petty stuff like that? Even my mama wouldn't complain about my socks being too high or too low."
Dunta Robinson, Houston Texans
Source: Houston Chronicle (2007)
"It's out of hand, way out of hand" ... "Are we playing football or running a fashion show?"
Gene Upshaw, NFL Player's Association Executive Director
Source: Street & Smith's Sports Business Journal (2007)
"My whole uniform smells like beer right now."
Chad Johnson, Cincinnati Bengals
Source: AOL Sports (2007)
"I tried being a normal guy last year, and I think it hurt me as a player" ... "I can't be the guy who just does what he's supposed to, and nothing way out there. It's not me." ... "I've got my sex back." ... "I might do something that'll cost me a game, but believe me, everybody will love it. The memory of it will last a lifetime."
Chad Johnson, Cincinnati Bengals
Source: Sports Illustrated (2007)
"My very first thought? What the crap! You gotta be kidding me! I wore that hat, I think, for something like 12 minutes." ... "That's a big fine. A huge fine. Somebody said it's the biggest fine for a non-playing violation the league ever handed out."
Brian Urlacher, Chicago Bears
Source: Sports Illustrated (2007)
"I think guys should be able to dress like they want as long as it's not a different color or a different brand, something totally out of whack."
Lenny Walls, Denver Broncos
Source: The Gazette (Colorado Springs) (2005)
"I wore my bracelet in almost every game last year, and the NFL uniform police never caught me."
Erron Kinney, Tennessee Titans
Source: USA Today (2005)
"I could also go crazy thinking about fines in the NFL. Getting a $5,000 fine because your jersey is not tucked in, when they're asking guys to play at the highest level of football, is ridiculous. You're out there hitting, you're focused, and who in his right mind is thinking about his clothing? It's just a way for people with the boss-man mentality to get into our pockets and use the power they have over us, a way of keeping us down."
Terrell Owens, Philadelphia Eagles
Source: "Catch This!" by Terrell Owens & Richard Weiner (2004)
"That is a stupid fine for the simple fact that they want everybody to be the same," ... "This is an individual game, you know. That is the thing that has the league being the No. 1 sport, because different personalities come together as one and people enjoyed that." ... "Your players don't even enjoy themselves."
Clinton Portis, Washington Redskins
Source: Yahoo! Sports (2004)
"It's not taking away from any of Reebok's money. It's not taking away from the NFL uniform at all. It's just paying tribute."
Derek Smith, San Francisco 49ers
Source: San Jose Mercury News (2004)
"I set aside 50 grand before the season for league fines" ... "I'm already to $35,000. It's ridiculous. If we wanted to be in the military, we would have joined. There are too many rules, too many nitpicking things. They want us to be robots. They want us all the same."
Chad Johnson, Cincinnati Bengals
Source: CBS Sportsline (2003)
"Don't you think if I come up and hit Ahman Green, something's going to come out?" ... "They ought to let us play football."
Fred Smoot, Washington Redskins
Source: USA Today (2002)
"They got me" ... "I can't believe it."
[Referring to his uniform violation]
Michael Vick, Atlanta Falcons
Source: CBS Sports (2002)
"I look like a nerd when I'm out there" ... "I'm dressed like in the '80s."
Chad Johnson, Cincinnati Bengals
Source: USA Today (2002)
"The uniform police are out before every game" ... "We can't always pick them out and it's not something we're usually thinking about. But the players know they're watching us, taking notes." ... "We literally can be in the middle of talking about a game plan or something, getting all fired up to go out and play, and Jackie will come over and tell us that we'd better pull our socks up or something like that."
Steve Beuerlein, Carolina Panthers
Source: The Sporting News (2000)
[The use of Vaseline] "is quite common in the NFL. I know I use it on every cold game, I always have. It protects your skin in cold climates."
Mike Shanahan, Denver Broncos
Source: Associated Press (1997)
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: statsheets.com
In baseball you hit your home run over the right-field fence, the left-field fence, the center-field fence. Nobody cares. In golf everything has got to be right over second base. - Ken Harrelson
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Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. - Dave Barry
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Play it as it lies is one of the fundamental dictates of golf. The other is Wear it if it clashes. - Henry Beard
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How can they beat me? I've been struck by lightning, had two back operations, and been divorced twice. - Lee Trevino
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The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top. - Pete Dye
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