Lenny Wilkens (Tor) on possibly winning the Central division title: "Don't get caught looking at the apple in case someone takes the ladder away."
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: geocities.com
Lenny Wilkens (Tor) on possibly winning the Central division title: "Don't get caught looking at the apple in case someone takes the ladder away."
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: lib.niu.edu
"Notable Quotables" on Golf
COMPILED BY PETER M. MURPHY
| Golf is a game that may generate more notable quotes than any other single sport. Authors wax poetic, humorists cant resist it and the sports own elite try to synthesize its lessons into a single thought. It is a game that can be defined by all those who play it in a variety of ways depending on the quality of their play on a given day. In the final analysis, golf is a game that is at once exhilarating and frustrating; a game, like life, that leaves each of us with a hint of hope for a better tomorrow. Students of the game may find inspiration in the following golfing wisdom. |
Golf Defined
"Golf is a game in which a ball one-and-a-half inches in diameter is placed on a ball 8, 000 miles in diameter. The object is to hit the small ball but not the larger."
-John Cunningham
""It's just good sportsmanship not to pick up lost balls while they are still rolling."
- Mark Twain
"Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20 percent of the time, you're the best."
- Jack Nicklaus
'NOTABLE QUOTABLES" ON GOLF
"It won't help to tell yourself, 'Don't hit it in the water.' Your mind will only hear 'water.'"
- Bob Rotella
"If the foursome following is pressing you, wave them through and then speed up."
- Deane Berman
"Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off."
- Bruce Lansky
"Hit the ball and when you find it, hit it again."
- Don January, on how to play golf
The Rich and Famous
"The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf."
- Bertrand Russell
"How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now."
- Dwight D. Elsenhower
"Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn't float too well."
- Craig Stadler
"Golf—makes liars out of honest men, cheats out of altruists, cowards out of brave men and fools out of everybody."
- Milton Gross
"If you pick up a golfer and hold it close to your ear, like a conch shell, and listen - you will hear an alibi."
- Fred Beck
Golf Wisdom
"Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee who has a deep suntan, a one iron in his bag, and squinty eyes."
- Dave Marr
"If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game would be played far better than it is."
- Horace Hutchinson
"The property score for a businessman golfer is 90. If he is better than that he is neglecting his business. If he's worse, he's neglecting his golf."
- St. Andrew's Rotary Member
"A professional will tell you the amount of flex you need in the shaft of your club. The more the flex, the more strength you will need to break the thing over your knees."
- Stephen Baker
"There are three ways of learning golf: by study, which is the most wearisome; by imitation, which is the most fallacious; and by experience, which is the most bitter."
- Robert Browning
"Water holes are sacrificial waters where you make a steady gift of your pride and high-priced balls."
- Tommy Bolt
The Course
"A good golf course makes you want to play so badly that you hardly have the time to change your shoes."
- Ben Crenshaw
"You don't go home and talk about the great tennis courts that you played, but you do talk about the golf courses you played."
- Hank Ketcham
"Always count your blessings. Be thankful you are able to be out on a beautiful course. Most people in the world don't have that opportunity."
- Fred Couples
Final Thoughts
"Regardless of what the tour pros think, golf is a rich and varied game, and what all of us awkward fools do on weekends is what golf is truly all about."
- Den Jenkins
"Sport is singularly able to give us peak experience where we feel completely one with the world and transcend all conflicts as we finally become our own potential."
- George A. Sheehan
"He enjoys that perfect peace, that peace beyond all understanding, which comes at its maximum only to the man who has given up golf."
- P.G.Wodehouse
Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: clipmarks.com
Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: comedy-zone.net
| FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT BASEBALL |
"Baseball is the only game left for people. To play basketball, you have to be 7 feet 6 inches. To play football, you have to be the same width." Bill Veeck. "You know it's summertime at Candlestick when the fog rolls in, the wind kicks up, and you see the center fielder slicing open a caribou to survive the ninth inning." "I don't love baseball. I don't love most of today's players. I don't love the owners. I do love, however, the baseball that is in the heads of baseball fans. I love the dreams of glory of 10-year-olds, the reminiscences of 70-year-olds. The greatest baseball arena is in our heads, what we bring to the games, to the telecasts, to reading newspaper reports." "A critic once characterized baseball as six minutes of action crammed into two-and-one-half hours." |
Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: woopidoo.com
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Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.
Monday, January 28, 2008
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: csmonitor.com
Classic baseball quotes
"When we played, World Series checks meant something. Now all they do is screw up your taxes."
– Dodger pitcher Don Drysdale
"If the World Series runs until election day, the networks will run the first one-half inning and project the winner."
– Lindsey Nelson, broadcaster
"We hit the ball right where they could show off their defensive ability."
– Baltimore manager Earl Weaver after the Orioles lost the 1969 World Series to the Mets
Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.
FUNNY SPORTS QUOOTES \ Source: post-gazette.com
Boxing, the Sweet Science, has gone sour, and yet there is always the past. At a time when nobody knows who the heavyweight champion is -- or, rather, who the heavyweight champions are, except that they all seem to be Russians -- Muhammad Ali and Jack Johnson keep the social historians busy and two recent biographies of Billy Conn have appeared.
| By Andrew O'Toole | |||
The latest by Andrew O'Toole, who wrote an earlier biography of Art Rooney, covers much the same ground as Paul F. Kennedy's "Billy Conn: The Pittsburgh Kid," but in greater, richer detail.
This revival of interest in Conn goes back to a lengthy and evocative 1985 Sports Illustrated story, "The Boxer and the Blonde," a paean by Frank Deford to Billy and his girl, Mary Louise Smith, and to Pittsburgh as it was in the summer before Pearl Harbor.
Subsequently there came an ESPN documentary and a Billy Conn Web site. The Web site of Harry Greb, the only Pittsburgh fighter whose magnetism was equal to Conn's, may well be more popular, but not since a work of doubtful authenticity called "Give Him to the Angels" went out of print more than half a century ago has any author been able to put Greb between book covers, although many have tried.
For cult figures of the sports-hero variety, there is usually a defining moment, as with Franco Harris (the Immaculate Reception) and Bill Mazeroski (the home run that won the 1960 World Series).
Conn's defining moment was the 13th round of his fight with heavyweight champion Joe Louis on June 18, 1941. From then on, for as long as he lived, he was asked the same question day after day.
Why did he decide, at the start of that round, to come down off his toes and slug it out with perhaps the deadliest puncher the fight game ever had known?
Louis weighed 200 pounds, Conn an almost frail-looking 169. But the way the fight was going, Conn couldn't lose. In the 11th and 12th rounds, Louis had seemed hurt and befuddled. Conn was too fast and elusive for him.
And now with three rounds to go, the one and only heavyweight championship was Conn's for the taking. So why did he stand still and slug?
His original spur-of-the-moment answer -- "What's the use of being Irish if you can't be dumb?" -- survives in folklore. Too late, he saw the folly of his notion that winning on points would not have been good enough, that he must knock Louis out.
Later in round 13, somebody took the 10 count all right, but it wasn't Joe.
Even so, Conn entered myth that night for his failed, spectacular effort, with many millions tuned in to the radio broadcast and 55,000 frenzied ticket buyers looking on in the Polo Grounds, where the New York Giants played baseball. As Deford wrote, this was the best fight there ever was, the best there ever would be.
It's the one thing people remember about Conn besides his good looks. Other than Ali, there was never a fighter as handsome. Warner Brothers asked him to play the 19th-century champion Gentleman Jim Corbett in a movie; he turned them down and they settled for Errol Flynn.
"Sweet William" deals mostly with the forgotten parts of the Conn story:
The eighth-grade dropout from East Liberty showing up at Johnny Ray's gym. A big-time main-event fighter at 19, beating past, current and future world champions. A champion himself (light-heavyweight division) at 21. Moving up to the heavyweights because that's where the money was.
O'Toole's only sources are ancient newspaper clippings (hardly anyone still alive ever saw Conn fight). There are quotes that don't sound much like Conn. His "biting wit" -- O'Toole's phrase -- never made the transition to print very easily, and some of the old-time sportswriters were known for their creativity.
Mary Louise helped O'Toole reconstruct the second most memorable fight of Billy's career -- the one with his father-in-law, Greenfield Jimmy Smith, at the christening party for the Conns' first-born son, Tim.
On this Sunday afternoon in 1942, Billy, who'd enlisted in the Army, was home on furlough. Greenfield Jimmy had vowed that no pug would ever marry his beautiful Mary Louise, and the young lovers' elopement -- he was 23, she was 18 -- continued to rankle.
The day of the baptism, Art Rooney, acting as peacemaker, got the feudists together in the kitchen of Jimmy's house. Jimmy said something inflammatory, and Billy went after him. Once again his judgment was flawed.
When the scuffling ended there were scratches all over Billy's face and the swift-striking left hand that had staggered Joe Louis was broken. Middle-aged Mr. Smith was unmarked.
Conn's injuries put off his return match with Louis for the Army relief fund. The fight was delayed until after the war, and by then Conn had lost his speed and his flair. Louis retained only his punch. It was more than adequate. He won in the eighth, by a knockout. Conn's zombie-like behavior at the weigh-in and his sluggishness in the ring were so perplexing that certain sportswriters said he'd been drugged.
Jimmy Smith, reconciled now with Conn, thought so, too. When Billy's son Tim brought up the subject years later, Billy just said, "Aw, forget it."
Another time, he said, "People think you're nuts to be a fighter, and they're right, but it's better than working in the mills."
"Sweet William" is part of a series called Sport and Society, published by the University of Illinois Press, but Conn, who died at 75 in 1993, was not a change agent like Ali and Jack Johnson.
Society formed him; during the Depression of the 1930s it made sense to be a fighter if you could get to the top, and Billy Conn did.
Late in life, he paid a price: pugilistica dementia. As no one else has, O'Toole writes extensively and revealingly about this, courtesy of the Conn family. Billy himself never sugar-coated anything. Mary Louise and their sons, Tim and Billy Jr., are no less forthright.
Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: sportingnews.com
Jan 20, 2008 02:11 PM | 2042 viewsWith the Super Bowl almost here, I want to welcome you to a Super Bowl MVP edition of "Where are They Now", with some Fun Facts along the way. Currently, the Super Bowl MVP winner is chosen by a panel of members of the media, and the fans. The media panel's ballots count for 80% of the votes, while the fans' ballots count for 20%. The fans may vote online during the game. Prior to Super Bowl XXXV, only the media panel selected the MVP. Here are some Super Bowl MVP Fun Facts: Chuck Howley (Super Bowl V MVP) is the only MVP winner from the losing team. Of the 42 Super Bowl MVPs, only 8 defensive players (2 of them co-MVPs) have won the recognition. Only once has a special team player (kick returner Desmond Howard) won the honor. Joe Montana holds the record for earning this honor the most times with three MVPs. If you want to read a great post on Montana check out Kohphares "UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL WITH JOE MONTANA". The Dallas Cowboys own the record for the most players to win the MVP with 7. Since Super Bowl XXV, the Super Bowl MVP winner is awarded the Pete Rozelle Trophy, named after the former commissioner of the NFL who served from 1960 to 1989. Currently, the award is sponsored by Cadillac and the winner is presented with a brand new Cadillac automobile of his choice. In previous years, the Super Bowl MVP was awarded a brand new Buick automobile and a watch. Only the Universities of Georgia can claim to have produced three Super Bowl MVPs. (Jake Scott (VII), Terrell Davis (XXXII), and Hines Ward (XL)), Super Bowl MVP's by position: 21 quarterbacks, 7 running backs, 5 wide receivers, 2 defensive ends, 2 linebackers, 2 safeties, 1 cornerback, 1 defensive tackle, 1 kick returner/punt returner. Now here are a few MVP's and "Where are They Now".
Leonard "Len" Dawson (age 72) Super Bowl IV, MVP: For the last 16 years, he's been a member of the Chiefs Radio Broadcast Team in addition to his duties as sports director for KMBC-TV in Kansas City. From 1977 to 2001, he served as the host of HBO's Inside the NFL. In 2006, Dawson was interviewed for the NFL Network documentary America's Game: The Super Bowl Champions the 1969 Kansas City Chiefs season. Len is active in the community and focuses much of his energy on charity work. He has raised money for countless charitable organizations, especially those that help needy children. Len and wife Jacqueline have two grown children. He and his family live in Kansas City. Fun Fact: As a sophomore in 1954, Dawson put together an outstanding first season as the NCAA's leader in pass efficiency, while also playing defense and serving as the Boilermaker kicker.![]()
Roger Staubach (age 65) Super Bowl VI, MVP: In 1977, Staubach capitalized on his football fame and started a commercial real estate business, The Staubach Company headquartered in Dallas which has been his primary endeavor since retirement from football. On June 20, 2007, Staubach announced he would step down as chief executive of the multi-billion dollar real estate company he started 30 years earlier. Staubach is a part owner in Hall of Fame Racing, a NASCAR Nextel Cup team, which began racing in the 2006 season. In the early 1980s, Staubach worked for a short time as a color commentator for CBS Sports. Staubach is now building a residence in the Preston Hollow neighborhood of north Dallas. Fun Fact: Know as "Captain Comeback" for his many fourth quarter heroics, Staubach had an ability for leading scoring drives which would lead the Cowboys to improbable victories. He led his team to twenty-three come-from-behind victories in the fourth quarter, with 17 of these coming in the last two minutes.![]()
Lawrence "Larry" Csonka (age 61) Super Bowl VIII, MVP: Csonka worked for the United States Football League (USFL) Jacksonville Bulls in the mid-1980s, first as director of scouting and then as General Manager. He was also an analyst on the popular syndicated show American Gladiators from 1990-1993. Csonka currently resides in Anchorage, Alaska. He also maintains a farm in Lisbon, Ohio and operates Goodrich Seafood House in Oak Hill, Florida where guides depart daily with clients fishing the famous Mosquito Lagoon. Larry continues to work in the "public eye" as host and producer of an outdoor adventure program, "NAPA's North to Alaska" which airs on Versus (formerly Outdoor Life Network) Saturdays at 12:30 EST. This program showcases Larry's experience as a fisherman and hunter and his enthusiasm for outdoor sports and conservation. In early September, 2005, Csonka and five others were returning by boat to the village of Nikolski on Umnak Island in Alaska's Aleutian's after filming a reindeer hunt on the island for Csonka's TV show. The boat was caught in a severe storm and nearly capsized. They rode out the storm for 10 hours before a Coast Guard helicopter could reach them and rescue them one-by-one in a basket. In 2006, Csonka pled guilty and paid a small fine for filming on National Forest land in Alaska and failing to obtain the required special use permit for production of his cable show. Csonka currently appears in television commercials for the Alaska Spine Institute, an Anchorage based physical rehabilation center. Csonka also travels the country visiting various clubs and corporations as a Sports Humor/Motivational Speaker, operating within his own company known as Csonka Promotions, Inc. His speeches are laced with humor and dramatic personal experiences, and have been well received by some of the nation's top companies. Fun Fact: Dolphins' offensive line coach Monte Clark was asked about Csonka's bruising running style, and responded with this great quote. "When Csonka goes on safari, the lions roll up their windows."![]()
Lynn Curtis Swann (age 55) Super Bowl X, MVP: Swann was a football and sports broadcaster for ABC Sports from 1976 to 2005 and briefly hosted the television game show To Tell the Truth, on which he had previously appeared as a panelist, on NBC from 1990 to 1991.His fourteen-week run as emcee ended, and he was replaced by Alex Trebek. He also made a cameo appearance on Mister Roger's Neighborhood. Swann is the former Chairman of the United States President's Council on Physical Fitness and Sports and serves as a director on the boards of HJ Heinz Co. and Wyndham International. Swann, who resides in the Pittsburgh suburb of Sewickley Heights, Pennsylvania, indicated that he was considering seeking the Republican nomination for Governor of Pennsylvania in the 2006 election. On February 23, 2005, Swann filed papers with the state elections board stating his intention to run. On the same day he formed a fundraising committee called Team 88 after his Steeler jersey number. On January 4, 2006 Swann formally declared his candidacy for Governor of Pennsylvania. Swann's opponents in the Republican primary scheduled for May 16, 2006 had initially included Jim Panyard, Pennsylvania State Senator Jeff Piccola, and former Pennsylvania Lt. Governor William W. Scranton, III. After Swann received the endorsement of the Republican state committee on February 11, 2006, all three opponents quit the race, leaving Swann as the only Republican to have filed by the deadline of March 7, 2006. In the end, Swann lost the election with 40% of the vote to incumbent Ed Rendell's 60%. Fun Fact: In Super Bowl X, Swann recorded four catches for a Super Bowl record 161 yards and a touchdown in the game, assisting the Steelers to a 21-17 win and becoming the first wide receiver to earn Super Bowl MVP honors.![]()
Douglas "Doug" Williams (age 52) Super Bowl XII, MVP: After retiring from the NFL, Williams excelled on the high school level as head coach and athletic director at Point Coupee High School in New Roads, Louisiana in 1991. In 1993, he was head coach at Northeast High School in his hometown of Zachary, La., where he guided the team to a 13-1 record and the state semifinals. In 1995, he was offensive coordinator for the Scottish Claymores of the World League of American Football. Williams started off his college head coaching career at Morehouse College in 1997. Williams became the head football coach at Grambling State University in 1998, succeeding the legendary Eddie Robinson. He led the Tigers to 3 consecutive Southwestern Athletic Conference titles from 2000-2002, he then left to join the Tampa Bay Buccaneers as a personnel executive. His son Adrian is a accomplished basketball player, who currently plays for Brown. Fun Fact: In Super Bowl XII, Williams engineered a 42-10 rout, in which the Redskins set an NFL record by scoring five touchdowns in the second quarter. Williams completed 18 of 29 passes for 340 yards, with four TD passes, and was named Super Bowl MVP.![]()
Who's never won? Biggest Grammy Award surprises of all time on AOL Music.
Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.