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Next up will be a stint on "Saturday Night Live," following a path Peyton Manning, Lance Armstrong, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Michael Jordan, Bob Uecker, Hulk Hogan and O.J. Simpson followed to crossover commercial success.
Should he devote more time to his hosting, acting and musical careers after the 2008 Summer Olympics, here are the athlete-entertainers he definitely should NOT emulate:
1) Shaquille O'Neal
In his latest TV adventure, the over-sized Miami Heat center hosted "Shaq's Big Challenge" on ABC this summer. This reality show addressed the problem of childhood obesity.
The irony of this wasn't lost on reporters, since Shaq has struggled with his own conditioning level for years. When the New York Daily News pressed him on this seeming incongruity, O'Neal said: "I've been a freak of nature. I've never been overweight. I've always had less than 14 percent body fat . . . Right now, I'm 335 [pounds], and I plan on staying around this weight."
Whatever the case, Shaq's new venture probably won't undo the damage of his ill-advised forays into movies ("Kazaam", "Steel", etc.) and music ("Shaq Diesel", "Shaq Fu, Da Return" and so forth) during his time in Southern California. His long-stated desire to go into the law enforcement field upon his NBA retirement sounds better all the time.
2) Joe Namath
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| Joe Namath was cool on the football field, but not so much in front of the camera. (Andy Lyons / Getty Images) |
As quarterback of the New York Jets, Joe Namath was known as "Broadway Joe." Unfortunately, "Hollywood Joe" didn't fare so well.
Entertainment Weekly recalls his 1970 biker movie "C.C. and Company" as "unintentionally funny." Subsequent efforts like "Avalanche Express", "Chattanooga Choo-Choo" and "Going Under" didn't move the bar much higher.
His color commentary career didn't endure and his most famous on-screen scene has been his intoxicated come-on ("I want to kiss you") to mortified ESPN sideline reporter Suzy Kolber during a Jets telecast.
3) Mitch Gaylord
Gymnasts have historically faltered in the entertainment realm. The most glaring example was Gaylord's unfortunate performance opposite Janet Jones in "American Anthem." So much for his dreams of capitalizing on his 1984 Olympic Gold.
Here is one review floating around the Internet: "Gaylord's acting consisted mostly of hair-swishing, teeth-gritting and a James Dean impression that might have been better performed by a finger puppet."
4) Magic Johnson
The former Los Angeles Lakers star has built a remarkable career as an entrepreneur. His business instincts, like his passing skills on the court, are uncanny.
But his infamous foray into late-night television — "The Magic Hour" in 1998 — was painful to watch. Had it been exquisitely bad, it could have been a modern version of the Martin Mull/Fred Willard classic "Fernwood 2Night." But it was just bad.
Sidekick Craig Shoemaker was no Jerry Hubbard. Playful banter, humorous ad-libs and off-the-top-of-the-head quips were in short supply. As one poster over on JumpTheShark.com observed: "I personally don't know what's more frightening — the fact that someone greenlighted this show, or the fact that someone greenlighted a show for Tony Danza."
5) Wilt Chamberlain
It is nearly impossible to determine which athlete delivered the most wooden acting performance in movie history. There are dozens of them. But "Wilt the Stilt" wasn't very animated in "Conan the Destroyer," which put that much more pressure on Arnold Schwarzenegger to carry the movie.
San Antonio Spurs star Tim Duncan uses more facial expressions after drawing one personal foul than Wilt offered in this entire movie. It's no wonder Hollywood didn't call again.
6) Lyle Alzado
He is best remembered for his craziness with the Oakland Raiders, his admissions of wholesale steroid abuse and the fatal illness his chemical experimentation may have caused. Unlike fellow defensive linemen Karras, Olsen and Dryer, he didn't stray far from his football persona with his movie roles. His range wasn't the greatest.
Alzado's earlier credits included (gulp) "Ernest Goes To Camp" and "Tapeheads." His finest hour came as a demented convict in "Hangfire"; he worked with many B-movie greats in this prison-escape classic, including George Kennedy and Jan-Michael Vincent.
When this is the highlight of your acting career . . .
7) Dennis Rodman
Like John Daly, Rodman is a one-man sideshow. He can entertain a crowd by showing up to play basketball and show off his tattoos in, say, Finland. But he shot an air ball with his action movie, joining Jean-Claude Van Damme for the disastrous "Double Team."
Rodman played an arms deal named Yaz. Even in the scenes with the great Mickey Rourke, he didn't come alive on the screen. His subsequent entertainment credits include gems like "Strippers Ball", "Dead or Alive Extreme Volleyball" and the always credible "Lingerie Bowl."
8) Brian Bosworth
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| "The Boz" is known more for his hair than his acting prowess. ( / Getty Images) |
The movie "Stone Cold" was supposed to launch an action movie career for "The Boz." The former Seattle Seahawks linebacker infiltrated a terrorist motorcycle gang and lots of bare-chested, totally gratuitous violence ensued.
"The Rock" he was not. Big studio offers were not going to come. Bosworth continued to hack away at the acting game, scooping up roles in "Nash Bridges," the movie remake of "The Longest Yard" and "CSI Miami." He and Bubba Smith are said to be in production with a thriller called "Clown Face." Be on the lookout for that.
9) Jack McDowell
As former Cy Young Award winners go, McDowell is a fine musician. He has hung out with Eddie Vedder, toured with the Smithereens and been compared to Marshall Crenshaw. He may have inspired Bronson Arroyo. However, Black Jack has NOT enjoyed commercial success with any of his musical projects.
When an elbow injury ended his baseball career, he threw himself into his band, Stickfigure. He told Guitar.com about making his transition: "Every once in a while, when I was with the White Sox, I'd bring (the guitar) on the plane, and we'd mess around and do stuff. That was fun. There were a handful of years when I'd actually take a portable four-track on the road and kind of throw down ideas and work on songs in a hotel room."
Alas, all that down time on the road failed to produce a single hit song.
10) Hulk Hogan
The Hulkster is a great American success story, except for the part about steroids. But his movie work fell short. There seemed to be some hope for him after he appeared as the fabulous "Thunderlips" in Rocky III, but then came "Suburban Commando" . . . "Thunder in Paradise". . . "Mr. Nanny" . . . "Santa With Muscles" . . . "Muppets from Space" . . . and lots of derisive reviews from the critics.
He is rallying with the reality show "Hogan Knows Best" on VH1. Watching an over-the-hill pro wrestler guide his attractive daughter to Britney Spears-like breakout (without the substance abuse, head-shaving and mom slapping) has made for some decent TV.
DISHONORABLE MENTION: Brett Favre ("Something About Mary"), Oscar de la Hoya (latin ballads), Dick Butkus ("Hangtime"), Kurt Thomas "Gymkata"), Gheorghe Mursean ("My Giant"), John Daly (country music), Ron Artest (rap music) and Roy Jones Jr. ( rap music), Fred "The Hammer" Williamson ("First of Fear, Touch of Death").
Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.
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