SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Wednesday, January 23, 2008

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: moneyplayer.typepad.com

Money Players Top 10 Biggest Sports Losers in 2007

"How did you go bankrupt?"
"Two Ways. Gradually, and then suddenly."
—Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises

Here is my list for the 10 Biggest Sports Losers in 2007...

10. The fallout from Alex Rodriguez It's hard to characterize someone who signed a $300+ million deal as a financial blunder, but even Rodriguez admits, "The whole thing was a mistake. It was a huge debacle." The tally:

  • The Yankees lost $21.3 million in subsidies from the Texas Rangers under the terms the trade which brought Rodriquez to the Yankees in 2004.
  • Rodriquez took a beating in the media, especially when the announced "opt-out" upstaged the 2007 World Series.
  • The move caused a major strain on Rodriguez's relationship with agent Scott Boras.
  • A-Rod's new contract pays A-Rod over $30 million per year, which is huge money by every standard except A-Rod's previous contact...the new contract is just an 8% increase over his previous mega-deal. No one will cry for A-Rod, but certainly the economics of baseball have improved at higher rate.

9. Conduct counts NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell took unprecedented action against NFL players Chris Henry, Adam "Pacman" Jones, and Tank Johnson. Jones lost $1.292 million in base salary. Henry lost half of his $435,000 base salary, or $217,500. After being cut by the Chicago Bears, Johnson signed with Cowboys for $255,000 to play 8 games, which is the prorated portion of a minimum contract. Based on Johnson's market value, his behavior cost him at least a few million. Jones also plead "no contest" for his role in a strip-club fight left a man paralyzed. [Related Money Players post: Character matters, revenue counts]

8. Taking on the champ Denver Broncos Travis Henry fathered 9 children by 9 different women, which ties him with Evander Holyfield as the once undisputed fathering champ. However, Evander's record deserves an asterisk: of the nine children Evander fathered by six different women, four were born in wedlock. Thankfully, Henry has a $25 million contract to fund a whole-lotta child support. Still when Henry fell behind with some of his payments a judge ordered him to pay $3000/month and set up $250,000 trust fund. Henry did win his appeal of a one-year suspension for a positive marijuana test.

7. Caffey files bankruptcy Former NBAer Jason Caffey, who played 10 years in the NBA and signed a $35 million free-agent contract with the Golden State Warriors, filed bankruptcy in October, claiming more than $1.9 million in debts against nearly $1.15 million in assets. Records show Caffey pays $7,000 month in alimony and child support. "Who wouldn't have trouble with that after retiring five years ago?" Caffey said. In reality, Caffey would have needed to bank approximately $1.6 million cover this expense. Caffey got divorced in 2006. More sperm banking: "Several other women have also sued Caffey for child support." 

6. Nene screwed by former business manager Denver Nuggets forward Nene claimed former business manager Joe Santos failed "to fulfill his duties as manager and personal assistant and to keep adequate financial records. He also has said Santos diverted funds for personal use." Nene learned in January 2006 that he was essentially broke, despite earning a $2 million salary. He then terminated his business relationship with Santos. Santos alleges that Nene agreed to "pay him 6 percent of his annual revenue over a seven-year span." With Nene's 6 year, $60 million contract, Santos would receive $600,000 a year, up from the $84,000 salary Santos was previously paid to be Nene's errand boy and interpreter. [Related Money Players post: Nene plays offense against weak defender of his money]

5. Marion Jones sprints out of control Not a good year for the former Olympic champion:

  • Admitted to lying to federal agents about her use of steroids prior to the 2000 Summer Olympics.
  • Plead guilty in U.S. District Court that she had made false statements regarding the BALCO case and a check-fraud case.
  • Filed bankruptcy.
  • Stripped of all five 5 Olympic medals she won at the 2000 Summer Olympics in Sydney.

On the bright side, all Olympic medals are not lost: In 2007 she married Obadele Thompson, who won an Olympic bronze medal at the 2000 Olympics. And Marion gave birth to a Olympic hopeful.

4. Michael Jordan's divorce  MJ's divorce from Juanita cost him a reported $168 million. Add another distinction to Michael's career: The most costly celebrity divorce settlement in United States history. Ever. Fortunately for MJ, he made a lot of money to make this distinction possible.

3. Kirk Wright wrongs a lot of pro athletes A quick refresher: Kirk Wright bilked investors, including many current and former NFL players out of at least at least $20 million. (He fraudulently provided investors with reports claiming his International Management Associates funds had over $180 million in assets. But when he was finally busted, there was less than $500,000 accounted for.) In February 2007, Wright was ordered to pay nearly $20 million as part of a default judgment by the U.S. District Court in Atlanta. In March 2007, six current and former players sued the NFL and its union, seeking to recoup $20 million they lost in this fraud scheme. (The NFLPA, in response to significant financial losses experienced by NFL players, began the Financial Advisor Program, a first-of-its-kind program aimed at protecting players against incompetent and fraudulent advisors.)

2. Cirque de Isiah Thomas and James Dolan Mismanagement, horrible judgment, bad lawyering, bad PR, and stupid comments added up to a $11.6 million jury award. NBA commissioner David Stern was smart to strongly  recommend settling the case for $11.5 million, rather than risk further embarrassment by appealing.

And the # 1 Biggest Sports Loser in 2007

1. Say it ain't right, Mike? Michael Vick lost the most in 2007. He lost his NFL career and his freedom for the next two years. The Falcons also demanding Vick repay $20 million of his signing bonus. And in less than one year he went from NFL hero to villain of dog lovers everywhere.

Note: An argument could be made that those people and leagues who suffered from the steroid fallout be placed high on the list. Then on second thought, I decided that steroids has had a negligible to positive financial impact on sports. Chicks -- and everyone else -- dig the long ball!! From a PR standpoint the $20-30 million MLB spent to conduct the Mitchell Report was money well spent.

--Marc Isenberg

Marc's book, Money Players now available here. And on amazon.com.


 
 




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