FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: ffbookmarks.com

 

    GOLF QUOTES

 

1. H.G. Wells:  "The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law."

2. A. A. Milne:  "Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad."  

3. Burt Shotten:  "Any game where a man 60 can beat a man 30 ain't no game."

4. Robin Williams:  "Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it."

5. Peter Andrews:  "There is one thing in this world that is dumber than playing golf.  That is watching someone else playing golf.  What do you actually get to see?  Thirty-seven guys in polyester slacks squinting at the sun.  Doesn't that set your blood racing?"  

6. Bob Hope:  "If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast.  If God wants to play through, let him."

7. P.G. Wodenhouse:  "Golf, like measles, should be caught young."

8. Raymond Floyd:  "They call it golf because all of the other four-letter words were taken."

9. Chris Codiroli:  "My handicap?  Woods and irons."

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1. Chi Chi Rodriguez:  "I never pray to God to make a putt.  I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a putt."

2. Paul Gallico:  "If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out."

3. Ben Crenshaw:  "I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer.  That's the distance my left ear is from my right."

4. Ted Ray:  "Golf is a fascinating game.  It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can't play it."  

5. Lee Trevino:  "There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray."

6. Michael Green:  "Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom."

7. Bob Hope:  "Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren't penalized for being on grass."

8. Lee Trevino:  "My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch."

9. Steve Sax:  "You can't call it a sport.  You don't run, jump, you don't shoot, you don't pass.  All you have to do is buy some clothes that don't match."

10. Tim Allen:  "Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you're tired and most of your balls are missing."

11. Lee Trevino, describing how he was one under during a tournament :  "One under a tree, one under a bush, one under the water."

12. Bob Hope:  "I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105."

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