SPORTS QUOTES
Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.
Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no known way to kill it that does not involve nuclear weapons.
Dogsled-riding is a sport that is relaxing as well as fragrant.
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.
Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
-- Dave Barry
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