FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: footballeconomy.com

SOCCER QUOTES

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On The Clubs

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Arsenal

"We didn't think he would play on Sunday because he was suspended - that makes me think he has all the qualities to join Arsenal." - Arsene Wenger about new signing Jose Antonio Reyes.

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Chelsea

"Roman Abramovich has parked his Russian tanks on our lawn and is firing £50 notes at us." - David Dein, Arsenal vice-chairman, August 2003.

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Ipswich Town

"It has been suggested that we'll squander the sponsors' money on wine, women and song. That is not true. We don't do a lot of singing here at Portman Road" - Legendary 'Town' owner John Cobbold at the unveiling of a major sponsorship deal.

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Liverpool

"There are two great teams on Merseyside; Liverpool and Liverpool Reserves." - Bill Shankly

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Manchester United

"It's rumoured that Man United are trying to sign Michel Platini, just in case they get a free-kick on the edge of the box this season." - When Saturday Comes magazine (1986)

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Real Madrid

"The best I ever saw, apart from Brazil." - Just Fontaine, on the 1956-60 side.

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Watford

"Imagine Franz Beckenbauer trying to play for Watford. He'd just be in the way." - Frank McLintock

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Wimbledon

"I am in a good position at the moment because no-one is running the club. I am hoping there is nobody out there to sack me." - Stuart Murdoch

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On The Players

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Romeo Benetti

"I was at a social function with him the other week, and it's the first time I've got within ten yards of him and he hasn't kicked me. Even then I kept looking over my shoulder..." - Kevin Keegan

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Charlie Cooke

"That Cookie. When he sold you a dummy you had to pay to get back into the ground." - Jim Baxter, a Scotland team-mate.

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Tom Finney

"I would have played Tom Finney in his overcoat - there would have been four men marking him when we were kickin' in." - Bill Shankly

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Maradona

"The best one-footed player since Puskas." - Sir Stanley Matthews

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Michael Owen

"He's got the legs of a salmon." - Craig Brown (ex-Scotland coach)

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Michel Platini

"Even his feet are intelligent." - Michel Hildago

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Patrick Vieira

"You weren't world-class when Arsenal signed you." - Arsene Wenger's reply, according to The Sun newspaper, when Vieira complained to him that Arsenal had failed to sign any world-class players.