SPORTS ONE-LINERS
Gary Player
The first time I ever saw Arnold Palmer, I said, "There's a star." The first time I saw Jack Nicklaus, I said, "Superstar." I feel the same way about Tiger Woods.
Blaise Pascal
Thus so wretched is man that he would weary even without any cause for weariness... and so frivolous is he that, though full of a thousand reasons for weariness, the least thing, such as playing billiards or hitting a ball, is sufficient enough to amuse him.
General George Patton
Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, disregard of all rules, and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence: in other words it is war minus the shooting.
William Shakespeare
If all the year were playing holidays; To sport would be as tedious as to work.
William Wordsworth
Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
George Will
Scholars concede but cannot explain the amazing chemistry of Cub fans' loyalty. But their unique steadfastness through thin and thin has something to do with the team's Franciscan simplicity.
Bob Verdi
What's unfortunate about buying a pitcher for $12 million is that he carries no warranty.
Bob Verdi
The bell that tolls for all in boxing belongs to a cash register.
Ken Venturi
You can't be compared to a Hogan or a Nicklaus until you do it. But... after having dinner with Tiger, he's the most mature 18-year-old golfer I've known.
Jesse Ventura
Wrestling is ballet with violence.
John Updike
Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.
Peter Ueberroth
Other sports play once a week but this sport (baseball) is with us every day.
Peter Ueberroth
Baseball is a public trust. Players turn over, owners turn over and certain commissioners turn over. But baseball goes on.
Peter Ueberroth
The integrity of the game is everything.
Michel Eyquem de Montaigne
Children's playthings are not sports and should be deemed as their most serious actions.
Jane Austen
I cannot think well of a man who sports with any woman's feelings and there may often be a great deal more suffered than a stander-by can judge of.
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