FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: cemc.org

GOLF QUOTES
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The average golfer doesn't play golf. He attacks it! ~ Jackie Burke
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Golf is a game of expletives not deleted. ~ Dr. Irving A. Gladstone
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You have to make corrections in your game a little bit at a time. It's like taking your medicine. A few aspirin will probably cure what ails you, but the whole bottle might just kill you.~ Harvey Penick
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I may be the only golfer never to have broken a single putter, if you don't count the one I twisted into a loop and threw into a bush. ~ Thomas Boswell
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If you pick up a golfer and hold it close to your ear, like a conch shell, and listen, you will hear an alibi. ~ Fred Beck
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Mulligan: invented by an Irishman who wanted to hit one more twenty-yard grounder!~ Jim Bishop
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I say this without reservations whatsoever: It is impossible to outplay an opponent you can't outthink. ~ Lawson Little
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Give me a man with big hands, big feet, and no brains and I will make a golfer out of him!~ Walter Hagen
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When you reflect on the combination of characteristics that golf demands of those who presume to play it, it is not surprising that golf has never had a truly great player who was not also a person of extraordinary character. ~ Frank D. "Sandy" Tatum, Jr.
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The hardest shot is a mashie (a golf club with medium loft) at ninety yards from the green, where the ball has to be played against an oak tree, bounced back into a sand trap, hits a stone, bounces on the green, and then rolls into the cup. That is so difficult I have only made it once!~ Zeppo Marx
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Charley hits some good woods - most of them are trees!~ Glen Campbell on his friend Charley Pride
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Anyone who criticizes a golf course is like a person invited to a house for dinner who, on leaving, tells the host that the food was lousy. ~ Gary Player
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A golf course is the epitome of all that is purely transitory in the universe, a space not to dwell in, but to get over as quickly as possible! ~ Jean Giraudoux
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If your adversary is a hole or two down, there is no serious cause for alarm in his complaining of a severely sprained wrist... Should he happen to win the next hole, these symptoms will in all probability less troublesome! ~ Horace G. Hutchinson
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Baffling late-life discovery: Golfers wear those awful clothes on purpose. ~ Herb Caen
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The golfer has more enemies than any other athlete. He has fourteen clubs in his bag, all of them different; eighteen holes to play, all of them different, every week; and all around him are sand, trees, grass, water, wind, and 143 other players. In addition, the game is 50 percent mental, so his biggest enemy is himself! ~ Dan Jenkins
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Like life, golf can be humbling. However, little good comes from brooding about mistakes we've made. The next shot, in golf or life, is the big one! ~ Grantland Rice
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Keep on hitting it straight until the "wee ball" goes in the hole! ~ James Braid
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"There's only one way to play the game. You might as well praise a man for not robbing a bank as to praise him for playing by the rules." ~ Robert Tyre Jones known as Bobby Jones, one of the greatest, if not the greatest amateur golfers of all time. No one exemplified good sportsmanship than Bobby Jones, who made the above statement at the 1925 U.S. Open, when a asked about calling a penalty on himself when the ball moved as he addressed the ball. No one else had seen it move. That penalty ended up costing him the championship.