SPORTS ONE-LINERS
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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
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Who wants to put on a leotard and get screamed at? - Lisa Simpson on gymnastics.
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A Well Balanced Soccer Player Has A Beer In Each Hand!
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Crew (Rowing) is the only sport in the world where an athlete is encouraged to sit on his butt and go backwards!
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For the rich, there's therapy. For the rest of us, there is fishing.
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
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Give blood - play hockey.
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If people concentrated on the really important stuff in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing rods.
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If you can't break your nose at it, it ain't a sport. - Tim Wilson
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In soccer, pain is temporary... pride is forever!!
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Luge is the only sport where you can die during the event and still win.
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My drinking team has a soccer problem.
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Soccer players do it for 90 minutes in 11 different positions.
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Discus throwers got the best seats at all the crucifixions. - Xander (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
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There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot.
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Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
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You got to have a lot of balls, to play golf the way I do!
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