FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: uti.com

Image: blog.kir.com

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BASKETBALL QUOTES \ INSULTS

4-21-00
Yeah, yeah, the finals are beginning this weekend. Sure. But I don't want to start off talking about that. I want to talk about one of my favorite players leaving the game.

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Sir Charles Barkley has played in the NBA for 16 years. I never grew tired of him. Confrontational, controversial, but never dull, and never a phony. The league has lost a lot of personality with his departure.

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To commemorate the depature of Charles Barkley, The Round Mound Of Rebound, I would like to share some of my favorite quotes from him. I collected them, and felt grateful when "The Wit And Wisdom Of Charles Barkley" was released.

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Sure, I shook my head when he said he was misquoted in his autobiography (in case you're reading this, Mr. Barkley, repeat after me--"typo, typo, typo...."), but that was part and parcel with him. He never threw the first punch, and always came out, if not on top, then better than if he had just let things roll over him. A lot of this is from that book, and some from "Talkin' Trash" by Kevin Nelson, some from the paper, but all came from The Mouth That Roared.

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"I don't think there's any doubt. Anybody in their right mind knows I'm the best forward in basketball. Well, the only person comparable to me is Karl Malone, but his body is so different from mine. Even my wife loves his body, and that's the main reason I say I'm the best. With a body like that, he is supposed to be awesome. With a body like mine, I'm supposed to be a couch potato."

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On losing weight: "I cut down to six meals a day."

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When the Philadelphia 76ers got new uniforms: "They look like my daughter got ahold of some crayons and designed them."

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"You can't compare preseason to regular season. Preseason is just a way to screw fans out of money."

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In 1991, he summed up the Indiana Pacers like so: "They could be scary if they ever learn how to play basketball, which they haven't yet."

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Regarding Alvin Robertson of the Bucks: "Referees let him get away with more hand-checking than a prostitute."

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"These guys who have three or four babies by different women should have their balls cut off."

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Summing up management for the Philadelphia 76ers: "We can't have beer in the locker rooms. I can't have a beer after I run up and down the court for two hours, but they're going to serve it to the guy who's got a wife and two kids to drive home. That is so gutless. They're only concerned about making money."

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When the 76ers were on a losing streak: "Where's the strike when you really need it?"

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"Mark Jackson says he loves his fiancee so much he would give up basketball for her. Not me. I love my wife but she can't pay the bills like this NBA money can. I'd have to pick John Nash (general manager at the time of the 76ers, Barkley's then-team) over her."

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During the 1992 Olympics in Spain: "I really miss America. I miss hearing if anybody's shot somebody lately."

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Also at that time, "Christian (Laettner) is going to be the strongest man in the NBA next year, because all he's been doing all summer is carrying around the luggage for 11 guys."

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"New York is my kind of town, because I have a gun."

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Fan in the stands: "You're never going to get a championship ring--never!" Sir Charles: "That's okay, I have $20 million, so I can afford to buy one."

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After fighting with Bill Laimbeer and getting suspended, costing him $22,000 in fines and $31,700 in pay for not playing: "I don't care if I get fined. I make $3 million. What's a couple of thousand dollars?"

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After a Phoenix exhibition game in Europe, he was asked which players impressed him: "No. 5, No. 11, No. 14."

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After a six-game road trip that took eleven days: "You pay as much for a house as I did, you might as well spend time in it."

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Farewell, Charles. Us real fans will always remember you.