Image: 80s-tennis.com.
GOLF QUOTES
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What I like about golf is there are no bad calls.
- Ivan Lendl
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It matters not the sacrifice
Which makes the duffers wife so sore
I am the captain of my slice
I am the servant of my score.
- Grantland Rice
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There are two things that will not last long in this world, and that’s dogs chasing cars, and pro’s putting for pars.
- Lee Trevino
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The game of golf was started at 11:10 a.m., the first lie about a scorecard at 11:22, and the first golf joke at noon.
- Bennett Cerf
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A game you play with your own worst enemy—-yourself.
- Finley Peter Dunne
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A game that begins with a golf ball and ends with a high ball.
- Bert Sugar
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A game in which a ball 1 1/2 inches in diameter is played on a ball 8,000 miles in diameter. The object is to hit the small ball, but not the larger.
- John Cunningham
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A game in which the ball lies poorly and the players well.
- Art Rosenblum
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I’m playing like Tarzan, and scoring like Jane
- Chi Chi Rodriguez
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You can always spot the employee playing golf with his boss. He’s the fellow who makes a hole in one and says, “oops!”
- Bob Monkhouse
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I’ve got to figure out how to take a vacation from a vacation.
- Dave Stockton on playing the PGA Senior Tour.
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GOLFERSWHO TALKFASTSWINGFAST!
- Bob Toski
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The loudest sound you hear is the guy jingling coins to distract a player he bet against.
- Jim Murray
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Golf is a plague invented by Calvinist Scots to as a punishment for man’s sins.
- James Reston
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Find a man with both feet firmly on the ground and you’ve found a man about to make a difficult putt.
- Fletcher Knebel
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I used to play golf with a guy who cheated so badly that he once had a hole-in-one and wrote down zero on the scorecard.
- Bob Bruce
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Willie Nelson, discussing what par is on a golf course he bought. It’s anything I want it to be. For instance, the hole right here is 47. and yesterday I birdied the sucker.
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I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
- Bob Hope
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A hole in one, scored by accident, can keep a complete duffer playing golf for the rest of his life. - “Champagne” Tony Lima
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Arnold Palmer is the greatest crowd pleaser since the invention of the portable sanitary facility. - Bob Hope
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The only thing I fear on a golf course is lightning…and Ben Hogan.
- Sam Snead
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Serenity is knowing your worst shot is still going to be pretty good.
- Johnny Miller
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Lee Trevino, on where professional golf would be without sponsors money: I’ll tell you where it would be. Julous Boros would be a bookkeeper in Connecticut, Arnold Palmer would be in the Coast Guard, and I’d be back in Texas, picking cotton.
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I learned English from American pros. That’s why I speak so bad. I call it PGA English.
- Roberto Di Vicenzo
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Golf is a young man’s vice and an old man’s penance.
- Irvin S. Cobb
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When playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
- Henny Youngman
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There an old saying: if a man comes home with sand in his cuffs and cockleburrs in his pants, don’t ask him what he shot.
- Sam Snead
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Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golfers become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.
- John Updike
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