FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message

Image: benstillermovies.info

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GOLF QUOTES \ HUMOR

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Plot Summary for the Golf Movie Happy Gilmore:

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Happy Gilmore is a rowdy boy, who was raised by his grandmother. He wants to be a hockey player but isn't because of one thing, he can't skate.
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When his grandmother's house is foreclosed cause of her failure to pay her taxes, and she's placed in a retirement home, Happy must try and find a way to make some money. One day while at a driving range, he discovers that he can hit a golf ball a hundred feet, so the range pro, convinces him to try being a pro golfer.
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Reluctant at first, because he considers himself a hockey player, but when he learns he can make a lot of money, he gives it a try and surprisingly, in addition to his amazing driving ability, his antics have made him the darling of the crowd.
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Shooter McGavin the tournament leader, thinks that Happy's an embarrassment and is jealous that he is stealing his spotlight, tries to get him thrown out or get him to quit.
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Written by rcs0411@yahoo.com
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Happy Gilmore Movie Trailer:
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Click here to view ===> HAPPY GILMORE TRAILER
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Happy Gilmore Movie Quotes:
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Happy Gilmore: Where are you going with those clubs, punk?
[pushes young caddy to the ground]

Happy's Waterbury Caddy: Mr. Gilmore, I'm your caddy!

Happy Gilmore: Oh, I'm sorry about that. Let me carry these, alright, they were my grandfather's, they're pretty old.

Happy's Waterbury Caddy: Well, what should I do then?

Happy Gilmore: I don't know. Why don't you just watch me, and make sure I don't do anything stupid. Okay?

Starter #1: Mr. Gilmore, Mr. Lafferty will be teeing off now.

Happy Gilmore: Alright, good luck, buddy.

Happy's Waterbury Caddy: Get out the way.
[crowd laughs]

Happy Gilmore: [to caddy] Where were you on that one, dipshit?
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Click here to view ===> MOVIE QUOTES
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Source: imdb.com
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Video source: youtube.com
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Bonus entry: Golf Slang
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The blogger's presentation begins here:
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Sure, there’s probably a lot of slang out there that we haven’t heard but it’s safe to say, we’ve heard our share of comments, jabs and otherwise general golf course smack talk. Here are our thoughts on what’s good, what’s bad and what’s just plain ugly (and not in that particular order).
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The Please Stop:
These include the old, the tired, the lame and just general golf sayings we’d be happy to never hear again:
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•Let the big dog eat – 1989 called. It wants its Ping Eye 2 persimmon woods back. Plus, rolling one up to the 150 marker on a 300 yard hole is not “letting the big dog eat”.
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•Go in the hole! – Yes, please continue to yell this lame old tidbit at every swing Tiger takes between now and the end of time. Seriously. Security! Please remove this oaf from the premises.
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•Members bounce – ah yes, a good bounce is a ‘members’ bounce! Hilarious! Yeah…not really. .
•Beach – that’s the best we’ve come up with for a large collection of sand? A beach? Again, uninspired and lame.
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•Snowman – Ok, an 8 looks like a cute little snowman. Enough with the Sesame Street humor. .
•I’ve seen a better swing on a set of dog’s balls – now that’s a quality, well thought out jab at a crappy golf swing. Bravo. 10 pts for originality and grossness!
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•The Condom – safe but didn’t feel very good.
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•Run like an open sore! – kinda gross, kinda clever…it’s a keeper!
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•Junior Prom – all lip and no hole. Yes, we know…..another classy one.
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The Good:
These include the clever, the interesting and the unique and they represent a new breed of golf slang:
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•Beat it Like a Rented Mule! – good advice for one’s playing partner while standing on the tee of a reachable par 5.
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•More Rudder Right! – or left, depending on the situation but after a playing partner launches one towards the tree tops, a quick “more rudder right” can be pretty funny.
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•I hope my swinging doesn’t bother your talking! – pretty self explanatory and can easily get the the chatter to stop.
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•Get it Close! – must be used at the appropriate time i.e., when your playing partner pretty much as a gimme putt but feels the need to mark and line it up like it’s a putt for the US Open trophy.
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•I don’t even go that far on vacation! – to be used only after you’ve out-driven the entire group.
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•Cuban – a putt left short but needed “one more revolution”. Get it? One more revolution? Pretty funny…
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•Osama Bin Laden – going from one bunker to another. Again, mildly amusing and a keeper.
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•Bill O’ Reilly – a tee shot that is right of right.
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Source: downlowtooslow.com
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