FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: winelect.com

SPORTS QUOTES

Quotes from "Just Let Me Play" by Charlie Sifford

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"All I ever wanted to do is play." -Charlie Sifford

"I have always had a great deal of admiration for Charlie Sifford...he has made himself a symbol that has inspired young black golfers of this country and the world - past, present and future. Probably more that any other single individual, Charlie paved the way and made life in professional golf so much easier for the others of his race who have followed and will follow him. I wish him nothing but the very best." - Arnold Palmer

"Golf, Jackie Robinson...and a great one." - Tom Watson

"I have such admiration for this man. I take my hat off to him...The hypocrisy that Charlie had to put up with!...Yet I don't find Charlie bitter, I find him compassionate. I have a great love and empathy for Charlie. I've seen an improvement in golf's stance toward blacks, and Charlie has played a significant role in that improvement." - Gary Player

"The pain, suffering and sacrifice experienced by Mr. Sifford in being a lonely pioneer for black golfers on PGA Tour will never be forgotten by me. His success and personal conduct will provide a blueprint and inspiration for myself and other aspiring black tour players." - Tiger Woods

"It's a lot easier now for a black player that it was when Charlie was trying to pioneer. To all of us players, it didn't make any difference what color he was. He(will be) remembered as the first black player to win a PGA tournament." - Gene Littler

"I have to take my hat off to Charlie Sifford. I praise God that he had the heart to do what he did. I couldn't have done it. He's a great man and he's been a friend to me. He's done a hell of a job, not only for blacks but for golf." - Jim Dent

"When any black is making his mark in a sport or profession, black people are aware of it. Charlie stands out. He was like a hero to blacks." - Willie McCovey

"Charlie was a pioneer in professional golf and I admire him so much that words cannot express it. I would love to be able to follow on to the senior title." - Curly Neal

"Like Bannister in the four minute mile, Charlie's the one who broke the barrier." - Don January

"I'm sure it hasn't been easy for Charlie. He's worked hard to get where he's gotten. I'm very happy that he's accomplished what he has." - Art Wall

"If it wasn't for (Charlie) and Teddy Rhodes, it would have been a longer period of time before blacks could enter (golf). I'm sure that it ate inside that they couldn't play in a lot more tournaments and couldn't stay (in some) places when they first started..It had to take a strong will." - Mike Fetchik

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: progressive.com

WINTER SPORT: DOG MUSHING

WINTER SPORTS QUOTES

Uncommon Winter Sports Anyone Can Try
Posted Jan. 10, 2008, at 1 p.m.

When the mountains have been fattened by their winter coating of snow, consider slipping on your own extra layer and heading to the hills. But you can forgo the pricey ski-lift ticket and the mega-resort crowds — there are plenty of winter sports that don't require you to follow in someone else's ski tracks.

Hut-to-Hut Skiing

If sleeping in a snow cave or flimsy tent isn't your idea of a cozy winter night, don't worry, you can still achieve a snug night's sleep in the mountains; several states maintain chains of backcountry huts to which skiers can spend a weekend or a week connecting. The most well known are Colorado's 10th Mountain Division Hut Association's dwellings — 29 cabins, all at 9,700 feet or higher. And don't let the designation "hut" fool you — while none have running water and only a few have solar-powered lighting, some shelters border on the stately. Multi-roomed, impressive structures, these huts are hardly the skimpy lean-tos their title implies. Nevertheless, most are deep into the Colorado Rocky Mountains' backcountry, so a visit to one isn't for beginners. Guides are available — check the Hut Association site for information.

Dog Mushing

Because Alaska is home of the Iditarod, the longest sled dog race in the world, it's no surprise that the state furnishes plenty of opportunities for novices to dog mush. But you won't need to raise your own team of huskies to enjoy a ride on a 12-dog open sleigh — numerous racers offer rides and tours as a way to supplement the costs of breeding and raising race dogs. Many tours are interactive, meaning you'll receive a lesson in dog mushing and then drive your own team. If that's too much to take on, enjoy the crisp air and views of Mt. McKinley from the back of the sled on a guided day trip. Dog mushing is ubiquitous in Alaska, but some of the most scenic spots are several hours north of Anchorage in Denali National Park. You can find information on tours at Sled Dog Central.

Skijoring

If you enjoy skate-skiing and own a dog with excess energy, consider learning to skijor during your next mountain romp. In this sport, skiers are harnessed to and pulled by a dog — horses and reindeer also pull but it's more of a spectator sport — along a groomed ski trail. It does take a little bit of equipment, but many ski-rental shops can hook you up with a harness, line and belt.
While any groomed Nordic trails that allow dogs will suffice, Idaho boasts 13 separate trail systems, and unless you're around a major resort you're likely to have plenty of elbow room. Located two hours north of Boise, off of the scenic Highway 55, the new Tamarack Resort will host the Iditarod McPaws Ski Jouring event. Participants will learn to skijor on Tamarack's 35 km of Nordic trails and have the option to participate in a 5-km race.

Ice Fishing

It might not get your heart rate up, and it requires little more than a pole and an auger (and the constitution of a woolly mammoth), but ice fishing has become a sport popular with winter vacationers. As such, you no longer have to huddle over a hole in the cold wind. Fish houses — portable structures built on the ice — have popped up all over popular ice fishing spots. Structures vary from four walls to a carpeted cabin with bunks, heaters and a bathroom.
For the largest ice-fishing celebration, check out Tip-Up Town U.S.A., a winter festival held on the icy surface of Michigan's Lake Houghton. Drawing nearly 40,000 participants, the family-friendly event takes place over the last two weeks of January and began as a celebration of the ice-fishing community that sprung up every winter.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: meaningfulnicesayings.com

Image: i.a.cnn.net

CHEERLEADER QUOTES

The referees have always been blind, it's our job to make them deaf.

In any other sport, if you miss the catch all you lose is the ball.

Players: A vital part of any sporting event, they entertain the crowd in the intervals between timeouts so the cheerleaders can take a well-earned break.

Any man can hold a girl's hand, but only the elite can hold her feet.

Cheerleaders know that pyramids were not built in Egypt.

I don't play the field - I rule the sidelines.

Simply because we do not run across goal lines, slam dunk basketballs, or hit home runs, doesn't mean we can't change the score.

If cheerleading got any easier, it would be called football.

I'm not a cheerleader. I'm an athletic supporter.

It's hard to be humble when you can jump, stunt, and tumble!

Flying is the second best thrill to cheerleaders; being caught is the first.

You know you're a cheerleader when you have to yell, kick, and scream to get what you want.

Wimps lift weights, cheerleaders lift people.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: bleacherreport.com

Image: thesightisinend.files.wordpress.com

SOCCER QUOTES

There are plenty of managers today who, apart from their football-related knowledge, have some sense of humor. Even if they don't, their intended-to-be-serious quotes often end up hilarious.
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In any case, I will try to cover some of those famous, witty or unintentionally funny quotes here.
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Bill Shankly: One of the most successful managers in Liverpool's history also came up with some witty stuff.
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"There's only two teams in Liverpool: Liverpool and Liverpool Reserves."
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"At a football club, there's a holy trinity—the players, the manager and the supporters. Directors don't come into it. They are only there to sign the cheques."

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Sir Alex Ferguson: Sir Alex has won everything there is to win in England, and yet he has this burning desire to win more. In his twenty-odd years at Manchester United, he, too, has come up with some verbal gems.
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"They come out with the ‘English are so strong, we’re terrible in the air, we can’t do this, we can’t do that.’ Then they beat you 3-0?
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“He could start a row in an empty house.”

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Arsene Wenger: "The professor" has had his share of controversies and makes some incredibly witty comments in trying times. Sometimes, his comments are quite hilarious, even though he never intended them to be!

"Everyone thinks they have the prettiest wife at home!"
This in response to Sir Alex Ferguson's warnings that Arsenal would crack under pressure and that Manchester United had been the best team in the league that year—despite the fact that they were second.
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"I'm very excited with this team because they are 'playerish'—if there is such a word—they love to play."
Wenger's trying to show that he is French.
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"Footballistically speaking..."
Inventing words is clearly not Wenger's forte...but this one is not bad!

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Jose Mourinho: Jose Mourinho is someone who is made for entertaining the press. He has the charm and the arrogance with the right mixture (for the neutrals, of course!) and will always be remembered in England for his very inventive quotes.
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"Please don't call me arrogant, but I'm European champion and I think I'm a special one."
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"I would love an Aston Martin, but, if you ask me, £1m for an Aston Martin, I tell you, you are crazy because they cost £250,000."
Jose trying to say, very illustratively, that Chelsea will not overpay for anyone... nice joke!
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"If you ask me if I jump with happiness when I know Mr Poll is our referee? No."
Jose is clearly letting Graham Poll know what he thinks of him!
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"For me, pressure is bird flu. I'm feeling a lot of pressure with the problem in Scotland. It's not fun and I'm more scared of it than football."
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"As we say in Portugal, they (Spurs) brought the bus and they left the bus in front of the goal."
Illustrating that Spurs defended rather staunchly against Chelsea to claim a draw.

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Kevin Keegan: "KK" is probably the best at these "quotes." He has sent too many people into hysterical laughter with his outrageously funny quotes. You probably get the point by now!
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"That would have been a goal if it wasn't saved."
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"It's like a toaster, the ref's shirt pocket. Every time there's a tackle, up pops a yellow card."
Using creative visualization to describe a "card happy" referee.
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"Chile have three options—they could win or they could lose."
Lost count there I guess!
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"In some ways, a cramp is worse than having a broken leg."
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"Luis Figo is totally different to David Beckham, and vice-versa."
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"The tide is very much in our court now."
I wonder how tennis players would survive in KK's world!
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"England have the best fans in the world and Scotland's fans are second-to-none."
King Kevin... Nobody can beat that quote!

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: dailymail.co.uk

FOR WIN AT WIMBLEDON, IT'S ON THE HOUSE, ELENA

Image: littlecaesars.com

SPORTS QUOTES

They said it: Sporting quotes of the week

'I told him, next time he does that, I'm going to get my blade out and cut him. I'm a gangster. You go gangster on me, I'm going to have to get you. You do that again, I'm going to cut you right on the field'
The New York Mets manager, Jerry Manuel, explains his policy on player tantrums when they get pulled from games after Jose Reyes threw his toys out of the pram.

'Things did happen very quickly for me and a lot of hot air was blown up my arse. At 19, I think it went to my head a bit'
England wing Tom Varndell, preparing for his first cap in two years, admits he got too big for his boots upon being handed his Test debut.

'People say I've lost my power and I'm shot but I've been to the fountain of youth and I'm going to come back and shock them all'
Michael Gomez promises Amir Khan a birthday surprise ahead of their Commonwealth lightweight title fight, the day of which Gomez turned 31, and lost.

'I want to be the traitor of Holland'
Russia coach Guus Hiddink is happy to be public enemy number one back in his native country ahead of his side's Euro 2008 quarter-final with Holland.

'It is my opinion. That is why I don't mind if people get upset. It is my decision. It is what I want. I don't know what I have to say to him. I have to say what I want and what I think'
Cristiano Ronaldo risks the wrath of Sir Alex Ferguson by claiming he does not care what the Manchester United boss thinks about his desire to join Real Madrid.

'I still don't fear anyone. The only things I fear in life are cockroaches'
Defending Wimbledon women's champion Venus Williams is not scared of afirst-round upset after being drawn against Britain's Naomi Cavaday.

'This will probably haunt me for the rest of my life'
Croatia coach Slaven Bilic after his side's heartbreaking Euro 2008 penalty shootout defeat to Turkey, a game that saw both sides score in the dying minutes of extra-time.

'No victory is worth the life of another person. I want to ask the Turkish people to enjoy themselves but not hurt anyone else while they are doing it'
Turkey coach Fatih Terim urges the country's fans to celebrate responsibly after a young girl was injured in Turkey and taken to intensive care when shots were fired in the air following his side's victory over the Czech Republic.

'We are not going to lock them in their rooms after a Test match. Players have got to take responsibility for their own actions, on and off the field'
England rugby union elite performance director Rob Andrew defends the decisionto allow squad members on a night out after the second Test in New Zealand,despite questions being raised over the team's conduct on tour following apolice investigation into an alleged sexual assault.

'If I'm going to give you a Maserati, it would be a good idea if you had a driving licence'
UEFA technical director Andy Roxburgh defends the governing body's stance on Pro Licences after the unqualified Paul Ince was named as Blackburn boss.

'I'm really gutted because it means I've had to cut out pizza - pepperoni was my favourite. I'll have to ask my coach if I can have a slice tonight to celebrate'
A slim-downed Elena Baltacha's new regime pays off as she wins her first-round match at Wimbledon.

'You know, I absolutely love trenchcoats. I mean, I love coats, and I don't know why because I live in Florida, so it doesn't really add up'
Serena Williams on making a fashion statement at Wimbledon.

'Maybe again the jacket will be back again next year'
Roger Federer on wearing a cardigan onto court for his opening match.

'Whether I'm black, white or whatever, I'm just proud to be in the Premier League'
Paul Ince on becoming the first black Briton to manage in the Premier League.

'I guess the bumblebee got me off to a bad start'
Venus Williams after a bee distracted her enough to see her serve broken against Britain's Naomi Cavaday.

'Someone upstairs made the ball roll over'
Top seed Ana Ivanovic credits divine intervention for the incredible net cord that spared her defeat against Nathalie Dechy in an epic second-round match at Wimbledon.

'Maybe I will buy some better duct tape. No, I like my car. I think it's cool'
British qualifier Chris Eaton - who recorded a remarkable first-round win at Wimbledon despite being the lowest-ranked player in the men's draw at 661 - insists he will not trade in his old Vauxhall Astra, which has a broken wing mirror, despite earning more than £20,000 at SW19.

'What did I say? The strawberries are too expensive. It's true. You don't haveenough (money) for dessert. It's true'
Marat Safin forgets his previous dislike for Wimbledon after ousting third seed Novak Djokovic in straight sets.

'I don't like her outfit. Can I put it this way? She experiments, and I give her credit for that. She's brave enough to experiment. Sometimes she has good ones, sometimes not. That's my personal opinion, again. Maybe someone will tell me I dress terribly'
Alla Kudryavtseva reveals her motivation behind beating Maria Sharapova at Wimbledon, the shock of the tournament so far.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: sportsoutofthebox.com

SPORTS QUOTES

quotes of the moment...

"I'm not one to use powder. I like the moist sensation."
-Oakland A's pitcher Barry Zito on using baby powder on himself (Sports Illustrated)

"I tore the rotator cuff, and kept pitching. Compensating for the pain, I changed my delivery and tore the labrum, then my biceps tendon."
-Mariners' pitcher Bobby Madritsch on his string of injuries while in the Reds organization (Baseball America)

"He's athletic and he's got some juice in his bat, and I like his haircut."
-Savannah Sand Gnats (Single-A) manager Bob Henley, on Colorado Rockies top prospect Ian Stewart (Baseball America)

"Labrum? Who needs a working labrum? Don't you worry about Pedro, amigo. I'll be fine."-Pedro Martinez, to the South Florida Sun-Sentinel

"Even being mentioned in the same sentence as Jesus or God... I mean, those guys are awesome. I'm just a knucklehead."
-Johnny Damon, to the Boston Globe

"Mike Vrabel had my testicles in his hand, and he was squeezing them... Guys reach inside the face mask to gouge your eyes. But the biggest thing is the grabbing of the testicles. It is crazy."
-Eagles LB Ike Reese on what it's like at the bottom of a pile (Sports Illustrated)

"You don't get better by losing a guy like Pedro Martinez."
-Curt Schilling, to ESPN

"Technically, Randy (was) still a member of the Diamondbacks. We can't comment on another team's player."-Yankees official commenting on the Unit pushing a WCBS-TV camera man (courtesy: Bob Klapisch and ESPN.com)

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: guardian.co.uk

VENUS WILLIAMS SETS RECORD AT WIMBLEDON

(127 mph serve by a female player)

Image: tenniswelcomecenter.com

TENNIS QUOTES

A week at Wimbledon in quotes

Reuters, Sunday LONDON, June 29 (Reuters) - The best quotes from week one of the Wimbledon championships:*

"I have a wonderful white coat I can wear on the court and also in New York for those rainy days...it's ladylike and goes perfect with my personality" -- Serena Williams after she turned up for her first-round match wearing a coat on a sunny day.

*"I absolutely love trench coats. I probably have more coats than anybody. I just love coats. I don't know why because I live in Florida" -- Williams and her coat again.

"It's the tuxedo look. I was very inspired by menswear this year and every time at Wimbledon I want to do something classy and elegant. This year I said: 'Why don't we do shorts?' and I have never worn shorts before at a grand slam. There is a place to do it and that's Wimbledon" -- Sharapova explains her latest outfit. It was seen only twice as the Russian was knocked out in the second round.

*"I drive a Vauxhall Astra with duct tape on one wing mirror" -- Britain's man of the moment Chris Eaton paints a picture of life before Court One stardom at the All England Club.

*"I personally don't care but I think any attention drawn to tennis for whatever reason is good. If that means wearing the Mr Roger sweater, whatever else you got, then so be it. I don't know if it would be a good look for me or any of my friends or relatives" -- Andy Roddick on Federer's latest Wimbledon look -- a 1920s-style cream, gold-trimmed cardigan.

*"I'll rest a little bit. Without the racket. I'll leave the rackets at home and go somewhere many miles away" -- third seed Novak Djokovic looks for the nearest exit following his second-round loss to Russia's Marat Safin.

*"As far as fun nicknames, headlines and whatever, I don't really care. Everyone's beatable. I've beaten the three of them. But if you're asking if it pisses me off at all, I don't really care. I just want to win tennis matches" -- Roddick, when asked whether he had heard of references to the 'big three' of Federer, Rafael Nadal and Djokovic. 'A-Rod' went out in the next round.

*"You know, when you've seen the Rolling Stones from the front row and then all of a sudden you're like seven or eight rows back and there's a really tall guy in front of you waving his hands and screaming, you can't see much, it's not going to be as good as the other show" -- Roddick remembers better times following his second-round defeat to Janko 'Tipsy' Tisparevic.

*"It's very pleasant to beat Maria... Why? Well, I don't like her outfit" -- Alla Kudryavtseva explains what spurred her to her shock victory over Sharapova.

*"Everybody can present a challenge. Everybody has a lot of strength. Everybody is hungry. This girl that beat me today, she might not win the tournament but she beat me and it probably made her tournament" -- Sharapova reflects on her shock early exit.

*"It's guys. They always say the women's game is predictable. They always say you women can't serve, you don't go to the net, you can't slice. No, we can do it all. We're strong. Don't listen to them" -- Kudryavtseva speaks up for her sex.

*"Coming from clay, it's a completely different mentality you have to going out on court. Because on clay, if you are struggling a little bit, you still have time to get into the game. Here everything is happening so fast" -- Ana Ivanovic, whose defeat to Zheng Jie was the earliest exit by a top seed since Martina Hingis lost in the opening round in 2001.

*"You're calling me a veteran? I'm a veteran at 23 years old? Thanks for making me feel very old" -- Jelena Jankovic after her victory over 17-year-old Caroline Wozniacki.

*"I know his sense of humour a little bit. I know he kind of talks like that a little bit. So I can cut him some slack" -- Czech Nicole Vaidisova on newly-elected ATP board member Justin Gimelstob who had to make a public apology for a series of offensive remarks about female players which included describing Vaidisova as a "well-developed young lady".

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: pages.ph

Image: triumphbooks.com
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SPORTS QUOTES

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“My doctor told me jogging could add years to my life, I told him ‘Yeah, since I began, I already feel 10 years older!’” - golfer Lee Trevino.

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“The man who will whip me will be fast, strong and hasn’t been born yet.” – Muhammad Ali.

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“Brazilian football is not only a sport. It’s a kind of stage play, a theatrical movement.” - Muniz Sodre.

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“A sport where the players actually enjoy getting hit in the head by a ball.” – soccer advertisement.

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“The World Cup is every four years so it’s going to be a perennial problem.” - English player Gary Lineker.

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“To be No. 1, you must train like you are No. 2.” - sprinter MauriceGreene.

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“Sport is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you never know the ending.” - US playwright Neil Simon.

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“I consider exercise vulgar. It makes people smell.” – writer Alec Thornton.

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“Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course: the distance between your ears.” - golfer Bobby Jones

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“Chess. For a game it is too serious, for seriousness too much of a game.” - German philosopher Moses Mendelsson.

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“Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, age doesn’t matter.” - baseball manager Casey Stengel.

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“They don’t give you gold medals for beating somebody. They give you gold medals for beating everybody.” - Michael Johnson.

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“Life’s too short for chess.” - British actor Henry James Byron.

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“Chess is the gymnasium of the mind.” - Vladimir Llyich Lenin