FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: goal.com

SOCCER QUOTES
Quotes by Alex Ferguson
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“That lad [Filippo Inzaghi] must have been born offside.”
Sir Alex Ferguson response to the news that Filippo Inzaghi
is the most offside player in the history of the game.
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Click here to view ===> SOCCER QUOTES
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: fullcontactpoker.com

SOCCER QUOTES
Quotes by manager Gordon Strachan
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On Wayne Rooney...
"It's an incredible rise to stardom; at 17 you're more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson."
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Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?
Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there.
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Reporter: There goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?
Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump off a bridge.
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Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?
Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. So I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick - down negative man, down.
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Reporter: Where will Marion Pahars fit into the team line-up?
Strachan: Not telling you! It's a secret.
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Reporter: "What is your impression of Jermaine Pennant?"
Strachan: "I don't do impressions"
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Reporter: So Gordon, any changes then?
Strachan: No, still Scottish, 5ft 6, ginger and a big nose!
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Reporter: Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?
Strachan: You're spot on! You can read me like a book.
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Reporter: This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you?
Strachan: You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you're spot on there.
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: boston.com

HOCKEY QUOTES
Quotes by and about Mike Milbury
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"It's too bad he lives in the city," said Milbury of Kraus. "He's depriving some small village of a pretty good idiot."
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Click here to view ===> QUOTES
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: drake.edu

SPORTS QUOTES
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Class is when they run you out of town and it looks like you’re leading a parade.
– Bill Battle, football coach
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Becoming number one is easier than remaining number one.
– Bill Bradley, basketball player
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When you have them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
– Jerry Martin, baseball player
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These are the days when it takes all you’ve got just to keep up with the losers.
– Robert Orpen
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How can they beat me? I’ve been struck by lightning, had two back operations, and been divorced twice.
– Lee Trevino, golfer
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The best feeling in the world is walking into an athletic atmosphere and knowing the other athletes are scared to death to compete against you.
– Matt Hurst
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Everyone likes a good loser, especially when he is on the opposing team.
– Milton Segal
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If you wish to hide your character, do not play golf.
– Percy Boomer, British golfer and author
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If a horse has four legs and I’m riding it, I can win.
– Angel Cordero, Jr., jockey
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There is no victory at bargain basement prices.
– Dwight D. Eisenhower, 34th president
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Golf has humbled, humiliated, and just about licked all the great athletes who tried it.
– Early “Red” Blaik, football coach
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A pat on the back is only a few vertebrae removed from a kick in the pants, but is miles ahead in results.
– Ella Wheeler Wilcox, author and poet
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When building a team, I always search first for people who love to win. If I can’t find any of those, I look for people who hate to lose.
– H. Ross Perot, businessman
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No pain, no palm; no thorns, no throne; no gall, no glory; no cross, no crown.
– William Penn, British colonizer
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I watch a man shoot pool for an hour. If he misses more than one shot, I know I can beat him.
– Luther Lassiter, pool player
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I run on the road long before I dance under the lights.
– Muhammad Ali, boxer
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: gambling-guru.com

Image: catchlyts.wordpress.com
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CRICKET QUOTES
Quotes from a sports betting site
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“Shane Warne’s idea of a balanced diet is a cheeseburger in each hand.”
- Ian Healy
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Click here to view ===> MORE QUOTES
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: workinghumor.com

SPORTS \ HEALTH & NUTRITION QUOTES
Quotes by P.J. O'Rourke, Political Journalist
.
Remember, your body needs 6 to 8 glasses of fluid daily. Straight up or on the rocks.
(The Bachelor Home Companion)
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If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult.
(Modern Manners)
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Everything that's fun in life is dangerous. Horse races, for instance, are very dangerous. But attempt to design a safe horse and the result is a cow (an appalling animal to watch at the trotters.)
(Republican Party Reptile)
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Cockfighting has always been my idea of a great sport - two armed entrées battling to see who'll be dinner.
(Holidays in Hell)
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True, children look up to professional athletes. But children are short and look up to everything.
(Give War a Chance)
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AND, FINALLY, FOR THE NEXT CONFAB AT THE WATER COOLER:
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Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
(Parliament of Whores)
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: carpejam.wordpress.com

Image: toonpool.com

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SKIING \ MOUNTAIN CLIMBING QUOTES

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Mountains have a way of dealing with overconfidence.

(Hermann Buhl)

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Click here to view ===> QUOTES

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: golfcoursehumor.com

Image: vault.sportsillustrated.cnn.com
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GOLF QUOTES
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"I wouldn't send my mother-in-law out to plow in weather like this."
-- Dave Smith in foggy weather at the 1959 Amateur, before playing Jack Nicklaus
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"One of the nice things about the Senior Tour is that we can take a cart and cooler. If your game is not going well, you can always have a picnic."
-- Lee Trevino
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"I'm in the woods so much I can tell you which plants are edible."
-- Lee Trevino
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"Golf combines two favorite American pastimes, taking long walks and hitting things with a stick."
--P.J. O'Rourke
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"There are two things you can do with your head down, play golf and pray."
--Lee Trevino
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"I still swing the way I used to, but when I look up the ball is going in a different direction."
-- Lee Trevino
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"One under a tree, one under a bush, one under the water."
-- Lee Trevino describing how he shot one under
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"I can airmail the golf ball, but sometimes I don't put the right address on it."
-- Jim Dent
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"I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105."
-- Bob Hope
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"A golf ball is like a clock. Always hit it at 6 o'clock and make it go toward 12 o'clock. But make sure you're in the same time zone."
-- Chi Chi Rodriguez
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"President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes."
-- Bob Hope
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"Gerry Ford is easy to spot on the course. He drives the cart with the red cross painted on top."
-- Bob Hope
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"Gerald Ford is the most dangerous driver since Ben-Hur."
-- Bob Hope
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"I've been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals."
-- Bob Hope
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"Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink."
-- Bob Hope
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"Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls."
-- Bob Hope
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"My wife says there are days when I’m closer to shooting my weight than my age."
-- Bob Hope
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