RUGBY QUOTES
Game for a laugh: Featherstone celebrate their 1967 RL Cup success (Gettyimages.com)
Part Six of our series of sporting anecdotes from times gone by features some classics from the oval-ball boys up north. Watch out for some amusing Rugby Union tales next.
'The kicker squelched through his run-up, only to slip in the quagmire at the moment of contact...'
STICKY WAGER: It certainly wasn't the weather that took York Rugby League coach Bill Reilly and Aussie scout Arthur Clues to Batley. The Mount Pleasant ground was anything but pleasant as the wind howled, the rain sheeted down - and the teams made a forlorn attempt to play rugby in a mudbath. With scarcely a minute left to play, neither side had scored a single point. Then Batley, playing up the hill and into the gale, won a penalty way out on the touchline. As their fullback lined up an ambitious pot at goal, Yorkshireman Reilly turned to Clues and wagered: ''I bet you a dollar he kicks it.'' ''You're on,'' replied Clues. The kicker squelched through his run-up, only to slip in the quagmire at the moment of contact - and the ball trickled just a few inches forward as he plunged onto his back in the mud. ''I told you he'd kick it,'' said Reilly, holding out his hand for his winnings.
ARMS AND THE MAN: There was no question of injured Tommy Martin making his own way off the field. The Leigh and Great Britain second row needed a stretcher after taking a bad knock on his ankle - but the one and only St John Ambulance stretcher was already occupied by another player. As Martin lay writhing on the ground and the fans bayed for the action to restart, desperate officials grabbed an office chair from the clubhouse and dashed on to the pitch with it. Martin was lifted gingerly into the seat, and with one embarrassed committee man either side, the chair was hoisted into the air by its arms. With the crowd roaring their approval, Martin was steered tentatively towards the dressing room . Five seconds later, there was a huge crack and the committee men were left holding a chair arm each as the seat and legs tipped Martin out - straight onto his damaged ankle.
GRIN AT THE DEEP END: To celebrate Leigh's feat in avoiding relegation, coach Tom Grainey took his strugglers on holiday to Majorca. Some months later, his assistant Colin Clarke was reflecting on the break in the changing room at Hilton Park. ''Remember it, lads?'' he mused. ''All that sun and San Miguel…and old Grainey up on the top diving board doing a double somersault with pike?'' With that, prop forward Derek Pyke chirped up: ''Hey, it weren't me. I were out on a training run.''
WIGAN'S BIG 'UN: The groupie girl outside Wigan's Riverside Club eyed up the town's new Rugby League hero - and liked what she saw. ''Hiya, big boy,'' she said to burly South African Nick Du Toit, her eyes settling on the most personal part of the 6ft 3in forward's anatomy. ''Tell me, are you built in proportion all over?'' ''Listen, lady,'' replied Du Toit in his clipped Afrikaans tones. ''If I was built in proportion, I'd be 12ft 10!''
AN ED FULL OF NOTHING: Tough-guy Eddie Szymala was in the wars again. And after the beefy but intellectually-challenged Barrow forward broke his jaw in a match against Oldham, coach Frank Foster was quick to pay tribute to the wounded hero. ''Eddie doesn't know the meaning of the word fear,'' Foster told the assembled press. ''Mind you, there are a million other words he doesn't know the meaning of, either.''
ARMS AND THE MAN: There was no question of injured Tommy Martin making his own way off the field. The Leigh and Great Britain second row needed a stretcher after taking a bad knock on his ankle - but the one and only St John Ambulance stretcher was already occupied by another player. As Martin lay writhing on the ground and the fans bayed for the action to restart, desperate officials grabbed an office chair from the clubhouse and dashed on to the pitch with it. Martin was lifted gingerly into the seat, and with one embarrassed committee man either side, the chair was hoisted into the air by its arms. With the crowd roaring their approval, Martin was steered tentatively towards the dressing room . Five seconds later, there was a huge crack and the committee men were left holding a chair arm each as the seat and legs tipped Martin out - straight onto his damaged ankle.
GRIN AT THE DEEP END: To celebrate Leigh's feat in avoiding relegation, coach Tom Grainey took his strugglers on holiday to Majorca. Some months later, his assistant Colin Clarke was reflecting on the break in the changing room at Hilton Park. ''Remember it, lads?'' he mused. ''All that sun and San Miguel…and old Grainey up on the top diving board doing a double somersault with pike?'' With that, prop forward Derek Pyke chirped up: ''Hey, it weren't me. I were out on a training run.''
WIGAN'S BIG 'UN: The groupie girl outside Wigan's Riverside Club eyed up the town's new Rugby League hero - and liked what she saw. ''Hiya, big boy,'' she said to burly South African Nick Du Toit, her eyes settling on the most personal part of the 6ft 3in forward's anatomy. ''Tell me, are you built in proportion all over?'' ''Listen, lady,'' replied Du Toit in his clipped Afrikaans tones. ''If I was built in proportion, I'd be 12ft 10!''
AN ED FULL OF NOTHING: Tough-guy Eddie Szymala was in the wars again. And after the beefy but intellectually-challenged Barrow forward broke his jaw in a match against Oldham, coach Frank Foster was quick to pay tribute to the wounded hero. ''Eddie doesn't know the meaning of the word fear,'' Foster told the assembled press. ''Mind you, there are a million other words he doesn't know the meaning of, either.''
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