GOLF QUOTES
"No game designed to be played with the aid of personal servants by right-handed men who can't even bring along their dogs can be entirely good for the soul." Bruce McCall in "The Case Against Golf," from Esquire.
"—not even Barbra Streisand celebrates herself as tirelessly as golf celebrates itself..." Bruce McCall in "The Case Against Golf," from Esquire.
"I look into their eyes, shake their hand, pat their back, and wish them luck, but I am thinking, 'I am going to bury you.'" Seve Ballesteros
"I'm disappointed, but I'm not going to run around like Dennis Rodman and head-butt somebody." Greg Norman on losing a six-stroke lead in the Masters.
"I screwed up. It's all on me. I know that. But losing this Masters is not the end of the world. I let this one get away, but I still have a pretty good life. I'll wake up tomorrow, still breathing, I hope. All these hiccups I have, they must be for a reason. All this is just a test. I just don't know what the test is yet." Greg Norman on the 1996 Masters.
"When someone has a bad day like that on the golf course, you say, Greg, you look good, you look fantastic. I like your shoes, I like your pants, I like your...well, the hat's okay. I mean, you need to keep it light. Instead they say, Greg, what's next? Suicide? Alcoholism? Drugs?" Bill Murray on the media's bludgeoning of Greg Norman after his 1996 Masters loss.
"You create your own luck by the way you play. There is no such luck as bad luck. Fate has nothing to do with success or failure, because that is a negative philosophy that indicts one's confidence, and I'll have no part of it." Greg Norman
"I don't know if I'll ever do it again or not, but frankly I don't really care." Jack Nicklaus on his sixth Masters.
"He can take his game to Europe , Africa , Asia or wherever he wants and the world will follow." Earl Wood's comment about his son, Tiger, who contemplates quitting the PGA and surrendering his card.
"He doesn't have a wife, he doesn't even have a girlfriend, so the only people he has to call on is me." Earl Woods commenting about Tiger after the Masters in 1997.
"Greed wounds more wallets than all the dice tables and horse tracks in America ." Dan Cook, San Antonio Express-News
"I've always tried to play golf with a golf club. I have a hard time driving with my rifle. I mean, 18 is really narrow ... I have no problem with the course, except for the tee shot on 18.'' Jack Nicklaus describing 443 yard number 18 at the 1997 Doral-Ryder Open, nicknamed Blue Monster.
"The hole from hell is back ... If you don't drive a golf ball at least 268 yards, you will need the U.S. Navy on your left and the French Foreign Legion on the right." Edwin Pope, Miami Herald sports writer, describing number 18 at the 1997 Doral-Ryder Open.
"The worst advice in golf is, 'Keep your head down.'" Patty Sheehan
"How can they beat me? I've been struck by lightning, had two back operations, and been divorced twice."Lee Trevino
"Don't let the bad shots get to you. Don't let yourself become angry. The true scramblers are thick-skinned. And they always beat the whiners." Paul Runyan, "Golf Digest"
"You're looking up. That's your problem.'' Graffiti on the underside of the roof of cart 47 at Sea Scape Golf Course, Kitty Hawk, North Carolina.
"Hitting a tree in west Texas is stranger than getting a hole in one."Mancil Davis, self titled "King of Aces" of the National Hole in One Association
"When I play my best golf, I feel as if I'm in a fog, standing back watching the earth in orbit with a golf club in my hands." Mickey Wright
"These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow." Sam Snead
"Here Eddie, hold the flag while I putt out." Walter Hagen to the Prince of Wales
"Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead." Tommy Bolt
"My divorce came to me as a complete surprise. That's what happens when you haven't been home in eighteen years." Lee Trevino
"Let's get after it." Rose Montgomery's signature expression, after spitting on her gloves at the start of a round. On June 2, 1992, at the age of 96, Rose aced the 100-yard 7th hole at Canyon Country Club in Palm Springs for her tenth career hole in one.
"A hole in one is amazing when you think of the different universes this white mass of molecules has to pass through on its way to the hole." Mac O'Grady
Tom Weiskopf's conversation with a couple of unimpressed Scots at the back of number 8 at Carnoustie after he hit a hole in one the week before the 1975 British Open. "Didn't you see my ball go in?" "Aye, laddie." "And you didn't even clap?" "Boot laddie, it didn't coont now, did it?"
"The swing is never learned. It's remembered." Bagger Vance, The Legend of Bagger Vance: A Novel of Golf and the Game of Life, by Steven Pressfield
"Don't be in such a hurry. That little white ball isn't going to run away from you." Patty Berg
"There is no such thing as natural touch. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls." Lee Trevino
"To help your concentration, don't take too much time." Pam Barnett
"There's an old saying,'It's a poor craftsman who blames his tools.' It's usually the player who misses those three-footers, not the putter." Kathy Whitworth
"Indecision builds nervous tension and undermines any remaining confidence." Sharron Moran
"Hit it hard. It will land somewhere." Mark Calcavecchia
"No matter what happens - never give up a hole....In tossing in your cards after a bad beginning you also undermine your whole game, because to quit between tee and green is more habit-forming than drinking a highball before breakfast." Sam Snead
"A hungry dog hunts best." Lee Trevino
"You can talk to a fade but a hook won't listen." Lee Trevino
"Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk." Grantland Rice
"The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie." George Deukmejian
"Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe." Author Unknown
"Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five." John Updike
"Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty." Harry Vardon
"As a golf professional I'll tell you the amount of flex you need in the shaft of your club. Remember, the more flex, the greater the strength you'll need to break it over your knee." David Wright
"The hardest shot is golf is the 90-yard wedge, where the ball has to be played off a tree, bounce back into a bunker, hit a stone, bounce onto the green, roll into the cup, hit the pin and drop in the cup. That shot is so tough I've only made it once." Zeppo Marx
"When Nicklaus plays wells well, he wins. When he plays badly, he finishes second. When he plays terribly, he finishes third." Johnny Miller
"Two things that ain't long for this world. Dogs that chase cars, and professional golfers who chip for pars." Lee Tevino
"If you like root canals and hemorrhoids, you'd love it there" Nick Price, describing The Ryder Cup experience
When informed that he was ranked first in fairway hits. Colin Montgomerie, the quick-witted Scot, replied, "That's great. They should put the hole in the fairway"
"Golf is a game where guts and blind devotion will always net you absolutely nothing but an ulcer." Tommy Bolt
"The greatest liar in the world is the golfer who claims he plays the game for merely exercise." Tommy Bolt
"Real golfers don't miss putts, they get robbed." Author Unknown
"Unlike that other Scottish game of whisky drinking, excess in golf is not injurious to the health!" Sir Walter Simpson
"The most exquisitely satisfying act in the world of golf is that of throwing a club. The full backswing, the delayed wrist action, the flowing follow-through, followed by that unique whirring sound, reminiscent of a passing flock of birds, are without parallel in sport."Henry Longhurst
"Golf fairways should be made more narrow. Then everyone would have to play from the rough, not just me." Seve Ballesteros
"No golfer can ever become too good to practice." May Hezlet
"Grip it and rip it. It works for John Daly. It never worked for me. All I did was wear out golf gloves." Chuck Stark, The Sun Link, June 17, 2003
"If I had cleared the trees and drove the green, it would've been a great shot." Sam Snead
"Golf without Jones would be like France without Paris -- leaderless, lightless and lonely." Herbert Warren Wind, about Bobby Jones
"To be truthful, I think golfers are overpaid. It's unreal, and I have trouble dealing with the guilt sometime." Colin Montgomerie
"Nobody ever looked up and saw a good shot." Don Herold, 'Love That Golf'
"Golf is no longer a game of hitting the ball, finding it, and hitting it again. There is wind to be measured, whether that means tossing blades of grass in the air or studying the gentle movement of 60-foot high branches. There are caddie conferences for even the most routine shots. There are sports psychologists who tell players not to hit until they're ready." Doug Ferguson, Associated Press writer on the miserable state of pace of play in the PGA, "Even USGA admits it can't get golfers in gear" (Source: San Francisco Examiner)
"By the time you get to your ball, if you don't know what to do with it, try another sport." Julius Boros, a U.S. Open and PGA champion
"Live.....Laugh.....GOLF!!!" Kathryn Schaefer Plaum
"Golf is very much like a love affair, if you don't take it seriously, it's no fun, if you do, it breaks your heart. Don't break your heart, but flirt with the possibility." Louise Suggs
"Swinging at daisies is like playing electric guitar with a tennis racket: if it were that easy, we could all be Jerry Garcia. The ball changes everything." Michael Bamberger
"The number eighteen is symbolically meaningful because it is the numerical equivalent of the Hebrew word chai, which means life."
From To the Linksland by Michael Bamberger "I'm working as hard as I can to get my life and my cash to run out at the same time. If I can just die after lunch Tuesday, everything would be perfect."
Doug Sanders, former professional golfer "When you don't play very often, you just don't know what is coming next."
Peter Thomson, playing at the millennium British Open for the four-hole Past Champions Challenge. "Just have a Coke or something and watch the boys go past."
Sam Snead's advice to the gallery during the four-hole Past Champions Challenge Summer of 2000. Q: "What abandoned course is that?" A: "That, sir, is no abandoned course, that is where we play the Open championship." Sam Snead's conversation with a fellow passenger upon arriving by train at St. Andrews in 1946.
"I miss. I miss. I miss. I make." Seve Ballesteros describing his four-putt at Augusta 's No. 16 in 1988.
"Papa, trust your swing." Note written by ten year old Qass Singh pinned to Vijay Singh's golf bag during the 2000 US Masters (which Singh won).
"Golf is a game to teach you about the messages from within, about the subtle voices of the body-mind. And once you understand them you can more clearly see your 'hamartia,' the ways in which your approach to the game reflects your entire life. Nowhere does a man go so naked." Michael Murphy (author of Golf in the Kingdom)
"Hit 'em hard. They'll land somewhere." Stewart Maiden
"The trouble that most of us find with the modern matched sets of clubs is that they don't really seem to know any more about the game than the old one's did!" Robert Browning, A History of Golf
"My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered." Lord Robertson
"It is nothing new or original to say that golf is played one stroke at a time. But it took me many years to realize it." Bobby Jones
"A rough should have high grass. When you go bowling they don't give you anything for landing in the gutter, do they?" Lee Trevino
"Then I thought, with the same clubhead speed, the ball's going to go at least six times as far. There's absolutely no drag, so if you do happen to spin it, it won't slice or hook 'cause there's no atmosphere to make it turn." Alan Shepard talking about his moon shot to Ottawa Golf magazine.
"Got more dirt than ball. Here we go again." Alan Shepard, Apollo 14 Commander, Amateur-Golfer, preparing to take another swing during his famous moon walk in 1971.
"I am the toughest golfer mentally." Tiger Woods
"Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around." Rick Reilly in "Master Strokes," from Sports Illustrated.
"When it's breezy, hit it easy." Davis Love, Jr.
"It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf." Robert Lynd
"They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that." Gardner Dickinson
"Golf is an easy game. It's just hard to play." Author Unknown
"As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round." Ben Hogan
"Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens." Bob Hope
"Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course, the space between your ears." Bobby Jones
"I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter then I'll stay in the bar." Bob Hope
"Golf practice - something you do to convert a nasty hook into a wicked slice." Henry Beard
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