SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Tuesday, May 6, 2008

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: sigecom.net

BASEBALL QUOTES

The three best Bob Hamelin lines:

(1) ''The Red Sox replaced Mo Vaughn's on-base percentage with Jose Offerman, and now they've signed Hamelin to fill his uniform'';

(2) ''Hamelin and Rich Garces made the Top 10 list of players who would look good in a Santa Claus suit'';

(3) From an NL scout's actual report: ''His best tool is his fork.''

Pirates left fielder Al Martin went into the third row in foul territory to make a highlight catch. Earlier in the season, right fielder Turner Ward ran through a wooden fence to make another highlight catch. Which was better? ``His was an aerodynamic pirouette,'' said Ward. ``Mine was brutal stupidity.''

"There are two theories on hitting the knuckleball. Unfortunately, neither one of them works." Charlie Lau

"The toughest thing for me as a young manager is that a lot of my players saw me play. They know how bad I was." Tony LaRussa 1983

"You know Earl. He's not happy unless he's not happy." Elrod Hendricks on Earl Weaver

" The right fielder has to be very careful when a fight breaks out and the benches empty. He's always got his back to the enemy bullpen."Seattle right fielder, Mike Hegan 1969

"No matter how long a man remains in baseball he always hankers and looks forward to opening days, and beleive you me, it takes a young player a long, long time to get over those opening day butterflies and discover finally that he really is an old pro." Tommy Henrich 1959

"I don't do it for money. The longer I stay away from training camp, the less chance I have of being hit by a fly ball." Babe Herman on reporting late

"Baseball has been good to me since I quit trying to play it." Whitey Herzog

"When I'm on the road, my greatest ambition is to get a standing boo." Al Hrabosky

"Well fellers, I found a way to get that dude out." Bill Hubbell as a pitcher for the Phils after a Rogers Hornsby line drive caromed off his forehead and was caught by third baseman Russ Wrightstone.

"It's always the same, Combs walks, Koenig singles. Ruth hits one out of the park. Gerhig doubles, Lazzeri triples. Then Dugan goes in the dirt on his can." Joe Dugan

"Whenever I see a batter digging a hole with his back foot I want to come off the mound and tell him not to bother. He's only gonna have to dig himself a new hole after my next pitch." Dave Garcia 1956

"He's even tempered. He comes to the ballpark mad and he stays that way." Joe Garagiola on Rick Burlson

"It was impossible to watch him at bat without experiencing an emotion. I have seen hundreds of ballplayers at the plate, and none of them managed to convey the message of impending doom to a pitcher that Babe Ruth did with the cock of his head, the postion of his legs and the little gentle waving of the bat, feathered in his two big paws." Paul Gallico, sportswriter, on Babe Ruth

"He has muscles in his hair." Lefty Gomez describing Jimmie Foxx

"He's in a rut. Gehringer goes two for five on Opening Day and stays that way all season." Lefty Gomez on Charlie Gehringer

"I don't want to throw him nothin'. Maybe he'll just get tired of waitin' and leave." Lefty Gomez to catcher, Bill Dickey on what pitch to throw to Jimmie Foxx

"When you win, you eat better, sleep better and your beer tastes better. And your wife looks like Gina Lollobrigida." Red Sox manager, Johnny Pesky, 1963

"That last one sounded kinda high to me." Babe Ruth questioning an umpire after three fast pitches he failed to see.

"When I negotiated Bob Stanley's contract with the Red Sox, we had statistics demonstrating he was the third-best pitcher in the league. They had a chart showing he was the sixtyth-best pitcher on the Red Sox." Bob Woolf, agent

"If you get to one base and you see the ball on the ground in the outfield, run like hell to the next base." Zoilo Versalles on running bases

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