SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: holdingwilley.com


Cricket Quotes

The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey.
- Brian Johnston, BBC


Yorkshire 232 all out, Hutton ill - I'm sorry, Hutton 111.
- John Snagge, BBC News


Ray Illingworth has just relieved himself at the pavilion end.
- Brian Johnston, BBC Radio

 
Welcome to Worcester where you've just missed seeing Barry Richards hitting one of Basil D'Oliveira's balls clean out of the
ground.
- Brian Johnston, BBC Radio

 
He's usually a good puller - but he couldn't get it up that time.
- Richie Benaud, Channel 9

 
If you go in with two fast bowlers and one breaks down, you're left two short.
- Bob Massie, ABC Radio

 
This game will be over any time from now.
- Alan McGilvray, ABC Radio

 
It is important for Pakistan to take wickets if they are going to make big inroads into this Australian batting line-up.
- Max Walker, Channel 9

 
Glenn McGrath joins Craig McDermott and Paul Reiffel in a three-ponged prace attack.
- Tim Gavel, ABC News

 
In the back of Hughes' mind must be the thought that he will dance down the piss and mitch one.
- Tony Greig, Channel 9

 
It's been very slow and dull day, but it hasn't been boring. It's been a good, entertaining day's cricket.
- Tony Benneworth, ABC Radio

 
It was close for Zaheer, Lawson threw his hands in the air and Marsh threw his head in the air.
- Jack Potter, 3UZ

 
Laird has been brought in to stand in the corner of the circle.
- Richie Benaud, Channel 9

 
Chappell just stood on his feet and smashed it to the boundary.
- Jim Maxwell, ABC Radio

 
On the first day, Logie decided to chance his arm and it came off.
- Trevor Bailey, Radio 3

 
He didn't quite manage to get his leg over.
- Jonathan Agnew, after Botham had spun around off balance and tried to step over the wicket unsuccessfully, BBC


Lloyd's talking to his SLIPers.
- Channel 9 commentator.

 
Marshall's bowling with his head.
- ABC commentator.

 
The sight of Bright holds no fright for Wright.
- Jim Maxwell

and the riposte

That's right!
- Norm O'Neil

 
And Jajeda is dijappointed...Jadeja is ji..da..I'll come again, Jajeda..okay Jadeja looks downcast.
- Tony Greig on Channel 9.


His throw went absolutely nowhere near where it was going
- Richie Benaud


Even Downton couldn't get down high enough for that
- Richie Benaud


That slow motion doesn't show how fast the ball was traveling.
- Richie Benaud


There were no scores below single figures
- Richie Benaud


Fast bowlers are quick. Just watch this -- admittedly it is in slow motion
- Ian Chappell.


It is now possible they can get the impossible score they first thought possible
 - Christopher Martin-Jenkins.


It would be unprintable on television
- Geoff Boycott


If England lose now, they will be leaving the field with their heads between their legs!
- Geoff Boycott


That was a tremendous six. The ball was still in the air as it went over the boundary.
- Fred Trueman


Then there was that dark horse with the golden arm, Mudassar Nazar.
- Trevor Bailey


David Boon is now completely clean-shaven, except for his moustache.
- Graham Dawson
 

The black cloud is coming from the direction the wind is blowing. Now the wind is coming from where the black cloud is!
- Raymond Illingworth


He is a very dangerous bowler. Innocuous, if you like.
- England coach David Lloyd discussing Chris Harris


The Queen's Park Oval -- as its name suggests, absolutely round!
- Tony Cozier


His feet were a long way away from his body!
- Ravi Shastri


You rejoin us at a very appropriate time -- Ray Illingworth has just relieved himself at the pavilion end!
- Brian Johnston


The lights are shining quite darkly
- Henry Blofeld


It is a catch he would have held 99 times out of one thousand.
- Henry Blofeld


It is a full house at the Eden Gardens. Today, Calcutta is celebrating the assassination of Mahatma Gandhi!
- Henry Blofeld


Cricket is basically baseball on valium.
- Robin Williams, American actor
 

Cricket needs brightening up a bit. My solution is to let the players drink at the beginning of the game, not after. It always works in our picnic matches.
- Paul Hogan, Australian actor


I don't know what these fellows are doing, but whatever they are doing, they sure are doing it well.
- Pete Sampras on watching Lara and Ambrose at Lord's.

 
Cricket is a game which the British, not being a spiritual people, had to invent in order to have some concept of eternity.
- Lord Maycroft


Many continentals think life is a game, the English think cricket is a game.
- George Mikes How to be an Alien


Personally, I have always looked upon cricket as organised loafing.
-William Temple. Archbishop of Canterbury 1926.


Q: Do you feel that the selectors and yourself have been vindicated by the result?

A: I don't think the press are vindictive. They can write what they want.
- Mike Gatting, ITV

 
I think we are all slightly down in the dumps after another loss. We may be in the wrong sign...Venus may be in the wrong juxtaposition with somewhere else.
- Ted Dexter, explaining away England's seventh successive Test loss, to Australia at Lord's, 1993

 
There was a slight interruption there for athletics.
- Richie Benaud, referring to a streaker at Lord's, BBC TV

 
Say, when do they begin?
- Grouch Marx, watching a cricket match at Lord's


It's funny kind of month, October. For the really keen cricket fan, it's when you realise that your wife left you in May.
- Denis Norden, British television writer and compere

 
Playing against a team with Ian Chappell as a captain turns cricket match into gang warfare.
- Mike Brearley, 1980

 
Is there any sex in it?
- Peter Sellers, as a psychiatrist upon first learning about cricket in What's New Pussycat, 1965

 
Q: Darryl, who are your favourite actors?
Cullinan: Dustin Hoffman and some Aussie bowlers in the act of appealing.

 
Q: What's your favourite animal?
Steve Waugh: Merv Hughes.






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