FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: kingmech.com

GOLF QUOTES
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The ball's got to stop somewhere. It might as well be at the bottom of the hole
Lee Trevino (on putting)
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Nothing goes down slower than a golf handicap.
Bobby Nichols
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Golf is the hardest game in the world. There's no way you can ever get it. Just when you think you do, the game jumps up and puts you into your place.
Ben Crenshaw
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When you play the game for fun, it's fun. When you play it for a living, it's a game of sorrows. Gary Player
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In golf, humiliations are the essence of the game.
Alistair Cooke
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It's a tan like mine. It tells you the player is spending a lot of time out on the fairway and the greens--and not in the trees!
Lee Trevino
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On the golf course, a man may be the dogged victim of inexorable fate, be struck down by an appalling stroke of tragedy, become the hero of unbelievable melodrama, or the clown in a side-splitting comedy.
Bobby Jones
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Thinking instead of acting is the No. One Golf Disease.
Sam Snead
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He plays just like a union man. He negotiates the final score.
Bob Hope (on George Meany)
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My God, he looks like he's beating a chicken!
Byron Nelson (on Jack Lemmon's swing)
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I never knew what top golf was like until I turned professional. Then it was too late.
Steve Melnyk
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Around a clubhouse they'll tell you even God has to practice his putting. In fact, even Nicklaus does.
Jim Murray
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One of the nice things about the Senior Tour is that we can take a cart and cooler. If your game is not going well, you can always have a picnic.
Lee Trevino
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The truly great things happen when a genius is alone. This is true especially among golfers.
J.R. Coulson
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I sure was glad I ran out of holes. I looked down at my hands and arms to see if it was me when I finished with the score.
Don January
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The winds were blowing 50 mph and gusting to 70. I hit a par 3 with my hat.
Chi Chi Rodriguez (on the windy course in Scotland)
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Golf is assuredly a mystifying game. It would seem that if a person has hit a golf ball correctly a thousand times, he should be able to duplicate the performance at will. But such is certainly not the case.
Bobby Jones
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Most golfers prepare for disaster. A good golfer prepares for success.
Bob Toski
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Hagen said that no one remembers who finished second. But they still ask me if I ever think about that putt I missed to win the 1970 Open at St. Andrews. I tell them that sometimes it doesn't cross my mind for a full five minutes.
Doug Sanders
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All good players have good hands. And I'm afraid you have to be born with them.
Dave Stockton
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Beyond the fact that it is a limitless arena for the full play of human nature, there is no sure accounting for golf's fascination.... Perhaps it is nothing more than the best game man has ever devised.
Herbert Warren Wind
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Everyone has his own choking level, a level at which he fails to play his normal golf. As you get more experienced, your choking level rises.
Johnny Miller
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Golf is neither a microcosm nor a metaphor for life. It is a sport, a bloodless sport, if you don't count ulcers.
Dick Schaap
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There is no movement in the hole swing so difficult that it cannot be made even more difficult by careful study and diligent practice.
Thomas Mulligan
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Do I ever disagree with him on course strategy? NEVER-- unless he's wrong.
Gary Nicklaus (on caddying for his father)
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Man blames fate for other accidents but feels personally responsible for a hole in one.
Martha Beckman
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The reason the Road Hole is the greatest par 4 in the world is because it's a par 5!
Ben Crenshaw (on the seventeenth hole at St. Andrews)
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After an abominable round of golf, a man is known to have slit his wrists with a razor blade and, having bandaged them, to have stumbled into the locker room and enquired of his partner, "What time tomorrow?
Alistair Cooke
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I've lost balls in every hazard and on every course I've tried. But when I lose a ball in the ball washer it's time to take stock.
Milton Gross
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It could be worse; I could be allergic to beer. Greg Norman (on being allergic to grass)