FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: dailymail.co.uk

.

Image: stevenbinks.co.uk

.

They said it: Sporting quotes of the week

Last updated at 09:15 02 May 2008

"We have had (Luka) Modric there with Thierry Henry, Deco has been in for a meal..."
- Newcastle boss Kevin Keegan has tongue firmly in cheek when discussing the club's transfer targets.

-
"If all else fails, we will have Mario Kart on the journey up - and there are always rows when that happens!"
- Midfielder Stephen Hunt reveals how Reading players have been dealing with the pressure of ahead of their crucial relegation clash at Wigan.

-
"It must be necessary for a player to bring a gun and shoot one of our men in the box for us to get a penalty"
- Manchester United assistant boss Carlos Queiroz after Saturday's 2-1 defeat at Chelsea.

-
"Are you not supposed to cut it before the game?"
- Sir Alex Ferguson questions why Chelsea were so keen to cut the grass following the match, when a brawl broke out between ground staff and United substitutes.

-
"I'm not used to being banged up. It's something that I've got to get used to should there be a future in the sport"
- A battered and bruised Dwain Chambers after his rugby league debut for Castleford reserves.

-
"We have this semi-final, then a home game on Saturday (against West Ham) and a game against Wigan away - disaster!"
- Sir Alex Ferguson gives a sarcastic retort to the doubters ahead of Manchester United's Champions League semi-final against Barcelona.

-
"I'll be getting my Bentley GT convertible now, I've been dying to get one"
- Ronnie O'Sullivan after hitting his third World Championship maximum of 147, which put him on course for a potential £157,000 bonus.

-
"Is that all it is, 150,000? It's getting less!"
- O'Sullivan feels his feat deserved better.

-
"If it's Liverpool, we'll get more tickets. I think Abramovich has bought them all!"
- Sir Alex Ferguson names his preferred Champions League final opponents following Manchester United's 1-0 win over Barcelona.

-
"I'm going to buy a Ford Focus convertible, I've been dying to get one!"
- Ali Carter after following up O'Sullivan's maximum with one of his own, earning a share of the bonus and possibly scuppering the Bentley plans.

-
"Drogba is a fantastic player, that is clear, but he falls down too easily"
- Liverpool boss Rafael Benitez criticises Chelsea's Didier Drogba ahead of their Champions League semi-final second leg.

-
"Ronnie is the best player in the world at the moment, right-handed, left-handed, one-legged, one-armed, whatever you want"
- Stephen Hendry ahead of his 888.com World Championship semi-final against Ronnie O'Sullivan.

"I wouldn't say I've been lying in my bed dreaming of tipping a penalty around the post because my wife would kill me"
- Rangers goalkeeper Neil Alexander on the possibility of a penalty shoot-out in the UEFA Cup semi-final against Fiorentina.

-
"There will not be any in-depth talks just before the game. You can bombard players but their attention span is not the highest at the best of times"
- Birmingham manager Alex McLeish reveals he will not be over-complicating his team talk ahead of their crucial relegation decider against Fulham.

-
"My ribs, elbow and chest were so bruised I could have been confused for Bernard Hopkins in Las Vegas!"
- Somerset captain Justin Langer is convinced Andrew Flintoff is ready for England duty after facing a bombardment from the Lancashire bowler.

-
"It's my favourite game - forget this lark!"
- Colin Montgomerie admits cricket is his first love.