SPORTS QUOTES - 2004
Right now, everything is going wrong for me - if I fell in a barrel of boobs, I'd come out sucking my thumb! QPR boss Ian Holloway leaves it late in a bid to retain his quote of the year title.
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It was deliberate. I am sure some people think that I have not got the brains to be that clever, but I do have the brains. England brainbox David Beckham on his decision to intentionally get himself booked in the World Cup qualifier against Wales.
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Why are you always in red? Is it your lucky colour? Local journalist to Formula One star Michael Schumacher before inaugural Chinese Grand Prix.
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When he blows his nose his eye bulges and that's usually a pretty sure sign Bath coach John Connolly with a charming description of Zak Fea'unati's suspected fractured eye socket.
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I used to be called 'the whippet' 30-stone Andy Fordham
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Any old Irons?
Will the owner of a horse attached to a rag and bone cart in the visitors' car park return to his vehicle immediately Cardiff City PA announcer Ali Yassin welcomes West Ham to Ninian Park.
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I don't know if I'm still The Rocket - perhaps I'm more like Thomas the Tank Engine these days!Snooker world champion Ronnie O'Sullivan on slowing down his game.
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I know I can't go on forever - how can I forget it when my so-called team-mates keep asking me which king was on the throne when I started and what football was like in the Dark Ages! Bolton's veteran striker Les Ferdinand.
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That's what children do - throw food. That's not fighting. We were real men. We'd have chinned themGeorge Best gives his considered opinion on the Old Trafford tunnel fracas between Arsenal and Manchester United.
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Mourinho shows off his charms
I like visiting Silverstone - it's a reminder of what racing was like in the 1950s. F1 supremo Bernie Ecclestone has a dig at Silverstone - just for a change.
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The PGA of America made a wise and smart decision appointing you as the captain of the US Ryder Cup team Bernhard Langer to Hal Sutton at the Ryder Cup opening ceremony. USA went on to suffer their heaviest loss in the competition's 77-year history.
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I should have caught it...I saw it coming all the way, but it bounced out of my hand and ended up in the lap of Michael Vaughan's mum Andrew Flintoff's dad, Colin, after dropping a huge six his son had clattered into the stands against the West Indies at Edgbaston.
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He plays at the weekend and comes home every week telling me what a great catch he has taken. But I think he has now proved to everyone that he is terrible. I'll have a go at him later!Flintoff junior gives his assessment of the situation.
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You never know who you'll walk into in a busy street Sir Alex Ferguson refuses to rule out signing Wayne Rooney - or whoever else he might happen to bump into.
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If I wanted to have an easy job... I would have stayed at Porto - beautiful blue chair, the Uefa Champions League trophy, God, and after God, me Chelsea coach Jose Mourinho makes a mockery of those who suggest he is big-headed.
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The skirts look like they're a little difficult to run in. I think they need to be shorter, maybe Andre Agassi gives his verdict on the model ball girls at the Madrid Masters
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I threw the kitchen sink at him but he went to the bathroom and threw back the tub!Beaten Wimbledon finalist Andy Roddick on his conqueror Roger Federer
BRIAN CLOUGH SECTION
Football legend Clough dies Stars pay tribute to Clough They caress a football the way I dreamed of caressing Marilyn Monroe The late footballing icon gives his verdict on Arsenal after they beat Nottingham Forest's unbeaten record.
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When I joined, he came walking down the corridor and said 'Ah, you must be Edward Sheringham'. I told him I was, but that I preferred to be called Teddy. He said 'OK, welcome to the club, Edward' Teddy Sheringham remembers his first meeting with the great man.
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SIR BOBBY ROBSON SECTION
Now, what am I doing here again?
In the first half he took a corner, a poor corner which hit the first defender, and it took him 17 minutes to get back to the half-way lineThe former Newcastle boss on Laurent Robert - the world's slowest player, apparently.
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He's the only man I know who could start an argument with himself On Craig Bellamy
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I didn't want to be known as the man who shot Bambi Newcastle chairman Freddy Shepherd on sacking Robson
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CHANTS OF THE YEAR
Strawberry blond - you're having a laugh QPR fans to Cardiff's ginger-haired defender James Collins.
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You only score in a brothel Welsh fans to Wayne Rooney.
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