FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: pithypedia.com

SPORTS QUOTES

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Football is a game designed to keep coalminers off the streets. --Jimmy Breslin

I just know I'm a better manager when I have Joe DiMaggio in center field. --Casey Stengel

The most serious doubt that has been thrown on the authenticity of the biblical miracles is the fact that most of the witnesses in regard to them were fishermen. --Arthur Binstead

Accidentally Shot
Colonel Gray, of Petaluma, came near losing his life a few days ago, in a singular manner. A gentleman with whom he was hunting attempted to bring down a dove, but instead of doing so put the load of shot through the Colonel's hat. One shot took effect in his forehead. --Sacramento Daily Union

The real problem with hunting elephants is carrying the decoys. --Anonymous

The urge to gamble is so universal and its practice so pleasurable that I assume it must be evil. --Heywood Broun

Keep grandma off the streets -- legalize bingo. --Anonymous

Teamwork is essential -- it allows you to blame someone else. --Anonymous

I never met a man I didn't want to fight. --Lyle Alzado

Decisions of the judges will be final unless shouted down by a really over- whelming majority of the crowd present. Abusive and obscene language may not be used by contestants when addressing members of the judging panel, or, conversely, by members of the judging panel when addressing contestants (unless struck by a boomerang). --Mudgeeraba Creek Emu-Riding and Boomerang-Throwing

Life is a gamble at terrible odds, if it was a bet you wouldn't take it. --Tom Stoppard

Most people's favorite way to end a game is by winning. --Anonymous

If you do your best the rest of the way, that takes care ofeverything. When we get to October 2, we'll add up the wins, and thenwe'll either all go into the playoffs, or we'll all go home and play golf.Both those things sound pretty good to me. --Sparky Anderson

Life is a game. In order to have a game, something has to be more important than something else. If what already is, is more important than what isn't, the game is over. So, life is a game in which what isn't, is more important than what is. Let the good times roll. --Werner Erhard

If you're carrying a torch, put it down. The Olympics are over. --Anonymous

A [golf] ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. Hitting a tree is simply bad luck and has no place in a scientific game. The player should estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it had not hit the tree and play the ball from there, preferably atop a nice firm tuft of grass. --Donald A. Metz

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Image (Sam): jameslogancourier.org
Image (Breslin): wwwimage.cbsnews.com
Image (Gang): reverseshot.com