SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Monday, September 21, 2009

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: com-www.com



Image: weirdal.com
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BOWLING HUMOR
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Song: The Generic Blues
Lyrics: "Weird Al" Yankovic
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Generic Blues
by Al Yankovic
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Lyrics:
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I woke up this morning
Then I went back to bed
Said I woke up this morning
Then I went right back to bed
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Got a funny kind of feelin' like
I got broken glass in my underwear
And a herd of wild pigs
is trying to chew off my head
You know what I'm sayin
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'Well I ain't got no money
I'm just walkin' down the road
Said I ain't got no money, honey
So I'm just walking down this lonely old road
Well, I wish I could get me some money
But I forgot my automated teller code
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I was born in a paper sack in the bottom of a sewer
I had to eat dirt clods for breakfast,
my family was so poor
My daddy was a waitress,
my mama sold bathroom tiles
My brothers and sisters all hated me
'cause I was an only child
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I got the blues so bad, woo
Kinda wish I was dead
Maybe I'll blow my brains out mama
Or maybe I'll, yeah maybe
I'll just go bowlin' instead
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I'm just a no good, scum sucking,
nose picking, boot licking, sniveling,
groveling, worthless hunk of slime
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Nothing but a low-down beer bellied,
bone headed, pigeon toed, turkey necked,
weasle faced, worthless hunk of slime
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Guess I got pretty low self image
Maybe it's a chemical imbalance or something --
I should probably go and see a doctor about it
when I've got the time
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Make it talk Aw, make it talk, son,
make it talk, OK, now make it shut up
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Plagues and famine and pestilence
always seem to get me down
I always feel so miserable whenever I'm around
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I wish somebody would come along,
stick a pitchfork through my brain
I'd flush myself right down the toilet,
but I'd just clog up the drain
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I got the blues so bad
Kinda wish I was dead
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Maybe I'll blow my brains out mama
Or maybe I'll go bowling
Or I just might go bowling
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Maybe I'll just rent some shoes and go bowling
Maybe I'll join a league, enter a tournament,
put on a stupid looking shirt
and go bowling instead, Yeah
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