FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: a-gamegolf.com

BEYONCE KNOWLES ( ACTRESS \ MODEL )

Image: 1.bp.blogspot.com

.

GOLF QUOTES

.

“Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom.”

-Michael Green

.

"Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much."

-Buddy Hackett

.

"A caddie is someone who accompanies a golfer and didn't see the golf ball either."

-Anonymous

.
"I miss the putt. I miss the putt. I miss the putt. I make."

-Seve Ballesteros, explaining to a golf writer, who asked the question, "how did you manage to 4-putt the 16th green?" after the 1986 Masters Golf Tournament.

.

"I really don't enjoy playing this game at all anymore. You would have to be a pervert to enjoy the sort of feelings that I went through out there."

-David Feherty, after winning a European Tour event in 1987

.

When asked why he was moving to the U.S. to work as a golf analyst.

"Because I've already insulted everyone in Europe."

-David Feherty

.

"Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you play golf before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle."

-Jackie Gleason

.
"If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right."

-Bob Hope

.
"Worst haircut I've ever seen in my life. And I've had a few bad ones. It looks like he (John Daly) has a divot over each ear."

-David Feherty

.

"Bumpy greens don't bother me anymore. Since I've become an analyst, I don't see the problem."

-David Feherty

.
"When the ducks are walking, you know it is too windy to be playing golf."

-Dave Stockton

.
On being asked, before his final round, what he had to shoot to win the golf tournament-

"The rest of the field."

-Roger Maltbie

.
"I was swinging like a toilet door on a prawn trawler."

-David Feherty
.

===================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: news.bbc.co.uk

SPORTS QUOTES
Sports quotes of the week (dated 24 June 2009)
.
"I might not be a tennis player soon, I might be stacking shelves... Tesco are advertising."
-- Britain's Dan Evans after crashing 6-2 6-3 6-3 to Nikolay Davydenko in the first round at Wimbledon.
,
If he didn't have a helmet he'd be scratching his head."
-- Commentary on the British Grand Prix. (Sam Brownsword, England).
.
World Twenty20 commentator:
"Kallis has been preparing a lot in the gym for this tournament."
Ronnie Irani:
"He's been preparing in Jim's cafe!"
-- Banter about a slightly-overweight Jacques Kallis. (Jer, UK).
.
There's an enormous gulf between the United States and Brazil, and I don't just mean the Gulf of Mexico!"
-- Steve Wilson during USA v Brazil in the Confederations Cup. (Mark Spivey, England).
.
Dan Temple: "Now, I'm not the biggest rugby fan..."
Cal Purdon: "I dunno, mate, you are pretty big."
Siren FM's YourSport presenters discussing the Lions tour.(Anon, Lincolnshire).
.
Click here to view ===> SPORTS QUOTES
=================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: independent.co.uk

OLYMPICS SPORTS QUOTES
Quotes from the 1992 Olympics
.
Related topic: Track and Field
.
We're not here to make friends. We're here to beat them. We have a saying back in Utah:
'The Indians did not dine with Custer'.
-- John Stockton, of the US basketball team, on their refusal to stay in the Olympic village.
.
I slept not a wink. There's people snoring in seven languages out there.
-- Irish journalist on cramped conditions in the Olympic village.
.
I miss crime, murders. I miss Philadelphia. There hasn't been a brutal stabbing or anything nasty here in the last 24 hours. I really miss America.
-- Charles Barkley, of the US basketball team.
.
Click here to view ===> 1992 OLYMPICS SPORTS QUOTES
=================

Image: 2.bp.blogspot.com

.

NFL FOOTBALL INSULTS

.

Thanks to Twitter, here are recent one-liners on Brett Favre:

.
Saying Brett Favre retired is like saying your herpes are gone.

.
Favre is to decisions what Vick is to dogs.

.

I really wish Brett Favre would retire from retiring.

.
Attention Brett Favre: You are not Michael Jordan.

.
Brett Favre: “I won’t stop until I’ve thrown a pick for every team in the NFL.”

.
I’d hate to go to Baskin Robbins 31 Flavors with Brett Favre.

.
Cash for clunkers: The latest chapter in the Brett Favre saga.

.
Even while tossing around the idea of staying retired, Brett Favre was intercepted 13 times.

.
When the apocalypse comes, cockroaches will rise to become the master race. And then Brett Favre will announce he is their new quarterback.

.
Taking a cue from Brett Favre, Sarah Palin has decided to come out of retirement and be the governor of Russia.

.
I hereby retire from the Brett Favre fan club (3rd time). I’ll be filing paperwork with the league office on Monday.

.
Under Obama’s healthcare plan Brett Favre will get the treatment he needs to tearfully retire every year.

.

BREAKING: John Madden returning to broadcasting. Says Madden, “I feel like I have one more year of fawning over Brett Favre left in me.”

.

===================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: sites.google.com

HANDBALL TRIVIA \ QUOTES
.
OR THE HANDBALL GUIDE (article title)
.
OR EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT
HANDBALL BUT WERE AFRAID TO ASK (my title)
.
Sample quote from article:
.
Romeo Romero:
.
"Anger and frustration are your true enemies; loosen up and relax.
Don’t rush or push it, your body will adjust to the game;
swiftness, accuracy and consistency are important in winning.”
.
Click here to view ===> THE HANDBALL GUIDE (INCLUDES 2 VIDEOS)

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: komplexify.com

Image: fordinfo.com
.
HUNTING HUMOR \ QUOTES
.
03.7.09
The mathematical theory of big game hunting VII
.
Further techniques in the theory of big game hunting:
.
Much work has been made on the many advances mathematics can make in the theory of big game hunting.
.
This survey paper briefly describes the further contributions to the theory made by other disciplines.
.
Click here to view ===> SURVEY PAPER: THEORY OF BIG GAME HUNTING
==================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: usatoday.com

Image: i.cdn.turner.com
.
SPORTS TRIVIA \ QUOTES
Ex-Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher sinks two (2) holes in 1 on 9/11/09
.
Although he won two games for Pittsburgh in the 1971 World Series, Steve Blass is best remembered as the pitcher who suddenly lost his control in 1973.
.
Blass went from being a 19-game winner in 1972 to being unable to find the plate, and soon was out of baseball. Ever since, any pitcher who develops incurable wildness is referred to as having "Steve Blass Disease."
.
But Blass was incredibly on the mark yesterday, sinking two holes-in-one in the same round of golf, at a Pirates Alumni event.
.
"The first one we all went berserk," Blass told the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. "The second one, I took off my glasses, and started rolling down the hill like a little kid. I looked like a big, fat bear rolling down the hill."
.
Golf Digest lists the odds of accomplishing the feat as 1-in-67 million.
.
The first ace was a 154-yarder, with an 8-iron. The second was from 175 yards, with a 7-iron.
.
"When I was driving home, I was still so numb, still shaking," Blass said.
.
"It was like after the World Series -- I was too thrilled to get drunk."
.
===================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: mbaguys.net

NAVJOT SINGH SIDHU

Image: indya.com

.

CRICKET QUOTES

Quotes by ex-cricket player and cricket commentator Mavjot Singh Sidhu

.

Deep Dasgupta is as confused as a child is in a topless bar!

.

Indian team without Sachin is like giving a Kiss without a Squeeze.

.

The third umpires should be changed as often as nappies and for the same reason

.

This was uttered after Eddie Nichols, the third umpire, ruled Shivnarine Chanderpaul 'NOT OUT' in the second test at Port of Spain, T&T.

"Eddie Nichols is a man who cannot find his own buttocks with his two hands."

.

Click here to view ===> CRICKET QUOTES

==================