• Biggest NFL crackdown: CBS' Charley Casserly said the NFL last week mandated that cheerleaders could no longer "do their stretching" in front of visiting locker rooms — "players felt they were being a little distracted." Apparently, winning isn't the only thing.
• Winning one-liners: Monday Night Football analyst Tony Kornheiser apparently missed that memo that ESPN's essence is hype. Although New Orleans plays (against Tennessee) on MNF Monday night, Kornheiser on Sunday said the Saints were "the Notre Dame of the NFL." …Frank Caliendo, the comic on Fox's NFL studio show, impersonated Jack Nicholson in a segment Sunday that showed Fox's Aikman fastidiously applying his TV makeup — "he wears more makeup than I did as the Joker."
• Boldest fashion statement: Fox's Jimmy Johnson before the Eagles wore throwback uniforms to play Detroit: "with those uniforms, they might be embarrassed to take the field." Philadelphia won 56-21. But it was an ugly win.
•Rosiest outlook: After Notre Dame lost to Michigan State on Saturday in its first 0-4 start — leaving NBC with an unpromising series it can't cancel — ESPN's Mark May suggested the Irish will lose their next four games. But wait, May also sees a positive: "At least it looks like they've found an identity." Plus, they're getting good exercise.
•Crime and punishment: CBS college football analyst Gary Danielson reported during Louisiana State's win against South Carolina that "someone in a yellow and purple shirt" had just stolen his CBS blazer.
The media can be helpful in disseminating information that can lead to solved crimes. Minutes later, Danielson reported the jacket had been rescued — "I hope I don't have to stay late to fill out the paperwork" — and whoever took it won't get to see if it helps you get better tables in fancy restaurants.
Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.
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