SPORTS QUOTES
Monday, December 01, 2003
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"It was so cold, you could hear their gums chattering." -- Michael Ventre of msnbc.com, on the outdoor Heritage Classic hockey game in Edmonton between the Oilers and the Montreal Canadiens.
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"My cellphone froze when I was up there. I had so many layers of clothes on, my thighs didn't know each other." -- CBC cameraman Kirk Penney, after spending five hours in zero-degree weather atop the scoreboard filming the two outdoor hockey games in Edmonton last Saturday.
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"Nah. I had the Sports Illustrated swimsuit calendar and a Bud Light poster of Pamela Anderson." -- Detroit Red Wings centre Kris Draper, on whether he ever had a Wayne Gretzky poster hanging on his bedroom wall when he was growing up.
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"People break their face all the time. It's part of the job." -- Todd Fedoruk of the Philadelphia Flyers, who missed five games after a fight with New York Islanders tough guy Eric Cairns led to facial surgery, during which titanium plates were inserted in and around Fedoruk's left eye and cheekbone.
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"I never looked at the stats ... because I didn't have any stats." -- Phoenix Coyotes winger Landon Wilson after scoring his first goal of the season last Monday against Dallas.
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"If the Chargers want to fight, I'm willing to give them one. If they perform as well in the courtroom as they do on the field, I would say we'll kill them." -- San Diego mayor Dick Murphy, on the plan of the Chargers, then 2-9, to go to court to renegotiate their lease at Qualcomm Stadium.
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"You don't have any trouble being for anyone that will feed those boys for four years." -- Auburn fan Vera Britt, on being forced to change her football allegiances to rival Alabama when her sons, 313-pound Wesley and 278-pound Taylor, opted to play for the Crimson Tide.
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"Alabama, I've gotta believe, would have won more than four football games by now if Mike Price had been coaching 'em. But then, the entertainment budget probably would have been shot to heck, so there's a tradeoff." -- Dan Daly, in The Washington Times, on Price being fired before the college football season started after allegedly being involved in an off-season tryst that included two hookers and a hefty room-service bill.
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"[The best part is] it's all right to be fat. You can eat whatever you want, and no one will be like, 'Man, you're fat.' You just say, 'I'm an offensive lineman.' And they go, 'OK.' The worst part is being fat. I'll be done here in a month or two with football, and then I'll just be a regular fat guy." -- Mike Shelford, a 6-foot-2, 269-pound centre for Washington State, on the best and worst parts of being an offensive lineman.
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"I don't want to say it's been a while since they were any good, but the team's official bandwagon runs on leaded gas." -- Jim Armstrong, of The Denver Post, on the sudden success of the historically inept Cincinnati Bengals.
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"Anybody see the [college football] game? USC beat UCLA 47-22! Forty-seven, 22. That's like Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher." -- Jay Leno, on a pair of California mismatches.
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"The Raiders didn't really call time out in an effort to ice 43-year-old Morten Andersen before his game-winning 35-yard field goal. On the contrary, they were banking on his arthritis setting in." -- Tom FitzGerald, in the San Francisco Chronicle.
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"If I'm Kobe Bryant, I send a thank you note to Michael Jackson." -- Orlando Sentinel columnist Jerry Greene, on the L.A. Laker guard's sexual assault trial being dislodged from the the front pages by the pop star's child-molestation case.
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"What does the Magic P.A. announcer say at halftime to get the crowd going? 'Please drive carefully.' " -- Comedian Alan Ray, on the Orlando Magic losing 15 consecutive games.
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"I've had wives bigger than him." -- L.A. Clippers play-by-play man Ralph Lawler, on 5-foot-5, 133-pound Denver Nuggets guard Earl Boykins.
"It was so cold, you could hear their gums chattering." -- Michael Ventre of msnbc.com, on the outdoor Heritage Classic hockey game in Edmonton between the Oilers and the Montreal Canadiens.
- - -
"My cellphone froze when I was up there. I had so many layers of clothes on, my thighs didn't know each other." -- CBC cameraman Kirk Penney, after spending five hours in zero-degree weather atop the scoreboard filming the two outdoor hockey games in Edmonton last Saturday.
- - -
"Nah. I had the Sports Illustrated swimsuit calendar and a Bud Light poster of Pamela Anderson." -- Detroit Red Wings centre Kris Draper, on whether he ever had a Wayne Gretzky poster hanging on his bedroom wall when he was growing up.
- - -
"People break their face all the time. It's part of the job." -- Todd Fedoruk of the Philadelphia Flyers, who missed five games after a fight with New York Islanders tough guy Eric Cairns led to facial surgery, during which titanium plates were inserted in and around Fedoruk's left eye and cheekbone.
- - -
"I never looked at the stats ... because I didn't have any stats." -- Phoenix Coyotes winger Landon Wilson after scoring his first goal of the season last Monday against Dallas.
- - -
"If the Chargers want to fight, I'm willing to give them one. If they perform as well in the courtroom as they do on the field, I would say we'll kill them." -- San Diego mayor Dick Murphy, on the plan of the Chargers, then 2-9, to go to court to renegotiate their lease at Qualcomm Stadium.
- - -
"You don't have any trouble being for anyone that will feed those boys for four years." -- Auburn fan Vera Britt, on being forced to change her football allegiances to rival Alabama when her sons, 313-pound Wesley and 278-pound Taylor, opted to play for the Crimson Tide.
- - -
"Alabama, I've gotta believe, would have won more than four football games by now if Mike Price had been coaching 'em. But then, the entertainment budget probably would have been shot to heck, so there's a tradeoff." -- Dan Daly, in The Washington Times, on Price being fired before the college football season started after allegedly being involved in an off-season tryst that included two hookers and a hefty room-service bill.
- - -
"[The best part is] it's all right to be fat. You can eat whatever you want, and no one will be like, 'Man, you're fat.' You just say, 'I'm an offensive lineman.' And they go, 'OK.' The worst part is being fat. I'll be done here in a month or two with football, and then I'll just be a regular fat guy." -- Mike Shelford, a 6-foot-2, 269-pound centre for Washington State, on the best and worst parts of being an offensive lineman.
- - -
"I don't want to say it's been a while since they were any good, but the team's official bandwagon runs on leaded gas." -- Jim Armstrong, of The Denver Post, on the sudden success of the historically inept Cincinnati Bengals.
- - -
"Anybody see the [college football] game? USC beat UCLA 47-22! Forty-seven, 22. That's like Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher." -- Jay Leno, on a pair of California mismatches.
- - -
"The Raiders didn't really call time out in an effort to ice 43-year-old Morten Andersen before his game-winning 35-yard field goal. On the contrary, they were banking on his arthritis setting in." -- Tom FitzGerald, in the San Francisco Chronicle.
- - -
"If I'm Kobe Bryant, I send a thank you note to Michael Jackson." -- Orlando Sentinel columnist Jerry Greene, on the L.A. Laker guard's sexual assault trial being dislodged from the the front pages by the pop star's child-molestation case.
- - ------
"What does the Magic P.A. announcer say at halftime to get the crowd going? 'Please drive carefully.' " -- Comedian Alan Ray, on the Orlando Magic losing 15 consecutive games.
- - --------
"I've had wives bigger than him." -- L.A. Clippers play-by-play man Ralph Lawler, on 5-foot-5, 133-pound Denver Nuggets guard Earl Boykins.
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I saw the Chiefs/Chargers game on satellite Sunday.One fan in the crowd was holding up a sign that said, "I KINDA BELIEVE"
I saw the Chiefs/Chargers game on satellite Sunday.One fan in the crowd was holding up a sign that said, "I KINDA BELIEVE"
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