Image: timesonline.co.uk.
SPORTS QUOTES
From the Year 2004
Let's have some fun.
Jose Mourinho, in his first programme notes as Chelsea manager.
I am not arrogant but I am special. I am a European champion, not in the bottle with the rest. Chelsea now have a top manager.
Mourinho, at his first press conference.
I chose between England, Italy and Spain and think I made the right choice as I enjoy it here so much. The thing I don't enjoy is the way the media talk about us. I feel as if the knives are being aimed in our direction while the flowers are in another.
Mourinho.
They didn't play football, they just defended, defended, defended. They may as well have parked the team bus in front of their goal.
Mourinho, after his side's goalless draw at home to Tottenham.
If a Russian billionaire came in I would not only roll out the red carpet but I would hoist up a red flag.
Bob Murray, Sunderland chairman.
I don't have much pace these days and they got away.
Steve Bruce, Birmingham manager, after he was attacked outside his home by two men.
I tried to talk to the ref but it is easier to get to see the Pope. If I'm in London next time and I get mugged I hope the same amount of people turn up. There were six police officers, four stewards and a United Nations peace-keeping observer.
Gordon Strachan, then Southampton manager, after being shepherded away from the referee Neale Barry after defeat to Arsenal.
I don't think I'm big-mouthed enough to be a coach.
Robert Pires.
I sometimes try not to say things but he is absolutely incredible. I don't remember anyone making such an impact on a tournament since Pele in the 1958 World Cup.
Sven Goran Eriksson, England manager, on Wayne Rooney.
One is black, the other is white. Rooney is an excellent player but Pele is unique. There will never be another Pele - not for a thousand years, and not even in a computer game.
Luis Felipe Scolari, Portugal's Brazilian coach.
I don't think he's podgy at all. He's only 18. That's a horribly mean thing to say. The kid is 18. The kid scored, what, two goals yesterday? He's doing really good. Yeah, he's a real sweetie.
Serena Williams, at Wimbledon, after England's win over Croatia, on Rooney.
Rooney - Talented and Spirited Sweetie.
Headline in Le Monde.
People laugh when I tell them my name. I was taking a video out and the assistant cracked up and shouted to his mate: 'I've got Wayne Rooney here'. But it's never been easy. My old man's name is Mickey.
Wayne Rooney, Birmingham plasterer.
He's a beer-burger-brothel-bomber - and he likes to shoot in the dark.
Das Bild, the German tabloid, on Rooney.
Will the owner of a horse attached to a rag-and-bone cart in the visitors' car park return to his vehicle immediately.
PA announcement at Cardiff City v West Ham.
My programme has been moved to accommodate David Beckham and his boyfriends chasing an inflated sheep's pancreas round some field in Portugal.
Jeremy Clarkson, Top Gear presenter.
England fans will be talking about their 1-0 win for years.
Clive Tyldesley, ITV commentator, shortly before Zinedine Zidane scored twice in France's 2-1 Euro 2004 victory.
The last time the Greeks won a major match they beat the Persians.
Gary Lineker, BBC anchorman.
I'm keeping it as a great trophy. We were sitting in row Q, so you can imagine how much that shot missed by.
Pablo Corral, who caught David Beckham's missed penalty kick against Portugal.
Drugs and Kisses
I am not hooked on drugs. The only reason I took what I took was because I wanted to improve my sexual performance. It may be funny but it is true. I did not take cocaine. I took something to make me feel good.
Adrian Mutu, sacked by Chelsea after a positive drugs test.
They should support him, not throw him out like a rotting tooth.
Victor Becali, Mutu's agent, on Chelsea.
I was very surprised, even though I am from Transylvania.
Laura Andresan, porn star, alleges that Mutu sucked her blood when she cut her hand during a liaison between the two.
His sexual appetite has spiralled out of control ... he's been drained by unscheduled sex.
Jos Suluntay, Chile coach, on dropping his captain Marcelo Salas.
One guy of 96 came in and said he was 72 years sober. I thought, '**** me, is this what I have to look forward to?'
Paul Gascoigne, on attending Alcoholics Anonymous.
Normally, I would go on holiday and wear a little G-string and go topless. Now I can't do that. I'm defined by sex.
Rebecca Loos, David Beckham's former personal assistant.
I will not let that tart ruin my marriage.
Victoria Beckham on Loos.
Victoria Beckham is nothing but a cheap Essex bitch who deserves everything she gets.
Jordan, model.
It is incredible that she has left me. Only recently I paid for her breasts. I paid €7,000 to make them bigger - and now this.
Mo Idrissou, Hanover striker, on his former girlfriend Selin Vanli.
All I know is that in every race I enter one athlete is 100 per cent drugs-free - me.
Marion Jones, US sprinter, speaking in February.
Athens And Beyond
It feels like it isn't me and that I am going to wake up in the morning and have to do it all again.
Kelly Holmes, after winning the Olympic 800 metres and 1500m.
I hope she does something more useful than join the pundit circle.
Max Jones, UK Athletics performance director, on Holmes' future.
I had nothing to wear.
Holmes on why she turned down a date with Tom Cruise.
The one thing about Paula is she never gives up.
Brendan Foster, BBC commentator, during the Olympic marathon.
Even when I was running downhill it felt like running uphill.
Paula Radcliffe, after pulling out of the marathon.
We're appalled. The family was half hoping he'd get jail.
Dan Horan, brother of Cornelius, the former priest who was given a one-year suspended sentence in a Greek court after disrupting the Olympic men's marathon.
I'm not disabled. I just don't have any legs.
Oscar Pritorius, the 200 metres Paralympic champion.
I Believe...
I've been walking to the pub and everything.
Phil Tufnell on his preparations for a 500-mile charity walk.
Let's face it, I'm not going to fight him over her.
Will Adams, a student who claimed that the boxer Joe Calzaghe had stolen his girlfriend.
Hijo de puta.David Beckham to a Spanish linesman - translation: "son of a whore" - for which he was sent off for Real Madrid against Real Murcia. He's obviously picked up a few words of Spanish after all.
John Toshack, then the Murcia coach.
I used to be called the whippet.
Andy Fordham, 30 stone darts player.
It's incredible, absolutely incredible. Imagine playing in 40 more of these. I hope I'm not fertiliser by then.
Tiger Woods, on Arnold Palmer's 50th consecutive US Masters appearance.
There was never a time when I didn't think I'd win. I'd won it in my head before we stepped into the arena.
Ronnie O'Sullivan on regaining his world snooker title
We trained all week like Tarzan and played like Jane.
Frank Endacott, Widnes coaching advisor, after losing 40-6 at Wakefield.
Every day from the age of four I did 20 kilometres to school and back. And in the dry season when school was out we walked three hours with the donkey to collect water. Life as a child was a kind of sport.
Haile Gebrselassie, athlete.
I know who you are and I'm coming to get you. Start running.
Message left by Ian Botham on his daughter Sarah's mobile phone after it was stolen by muggers.
Usually after an Olympics you lie in bed and your skin starts to itch because you want to start training again. This time there has been no itch.
Matthew Pinsent on retiring from rowing.
[Roman] Abramovich knows nothing about football. I already have his sword sticking into me, and even if I win the Champions' League I'll be sacked.
Claudio Ranieri, then the Chelsea manager.
I told them they could shove it.
Ken Bates, after his programme notes were scrapped after 22 years by Chelsea's new owners.
You simply do not sack Bobby Robson.
Freddie Shepherd, Newcastle chairman.
In situations like this there is no room for sentiment.
Shepherd, after sacking Sir Bobby.
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