FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: youthsportsclub.com

Baseball Quotations


I never thought home runs were all that exciting. I still think the triple is the most exciting thing in baseball. To me, a triple is like a guy taking the ball on his 1-yard line and running 99 yards for a touchdown.
- Hank Aaron

I used to love to come to the ballpark. Now I hate it. Every day becomes a little tougher because of all this. Writers, tape recorders, microphones, cameras, questions and more questions. Roger Maris lost his hair the season he hit sixty-one. I still have all my hair, but when it's over, I'm going home to Mobile and fish for a
long time.
- Hank Aaron, as he closed in on Babe Ruth's career home run record

Mickey (Mantle) meant an awful lot to me. He was a tremendous athlete. People didn't understand him the way they should have. He played 10 years on one leg. But more than that, he was a tremendous person.
- Hank Aaron

I had just turned 20, and Jackie (Robinson) told me the only way to be successful at anything was to go out and do it. He said baseball was a game you played every day, not once a week.
- Hank Aaron

He's been very talkative. But it is usually under oath.
- Sandy Alderson, Oakland A's GM, on Albert Belle

You're only young once, but you can be immature forever
- Larry Andersen

I sent Kruk one of those fruit and nut baskets at the hospital. I don't know if he likes fruit, but I know he'll appreciate the nuts.
- Larry Anderson, on John Kruk, after John Kruk had surgery

I'm beginning to see Brooks [Robinson] in my sleep. If I dropped a paper plate, he'd pick it up on one hop and throw me out at first.
- Sparky Anderson

The great thing about baseball is when you are done, you'll only tell your grandchildren the good things. If they ask me about 1989 I'll tell them I had amnesia.
- Sparky Anderson

That's why I don't talk. Because I talk too much.
- Joquin Andujar

There's one word that describes baseball -- 'You never know.'
- Joquin Andujar

He's like an amusement-park ride - Even for guys who play.
- Ruben Amaro, on Mark McGwire

It's hard to win when you can't keep the ball in the ballpark. I don't think they could hit more home runs if you told them what was coming. I don't think they could hit any more if it was batting practice.
-Dusty Baker on the Giants giving up 24 home runs in one seven game stretch.

The only people I ever felt intimidated by in my whole life were Bob Gibson and my Daddy.
-Dusty Baker

For five years in the minor leagues, I wore the same underwear and still hit .250, so no, I don't believe in that stuff.
-Dusty Baker, on stuperstitions

I get tired of hearing my ballplayers bellyache all the time. They should sit in the press box sometime and watch themselves play.
-San Diego Padres president Buzzie Bavasi, 1973

I remember one game I got five hits and stole five bases, but none of it was written down because they forgot to bring the scorebook to the game that day.
-James "Cool Papa" Bell, Homestead Grays OF

They say I was born too soon. I say the doors were opened too late.
-James "Cool Papa" Bell

How can a guy win a game if you don't give him any runs?
-Robert "Bo" Belinsky, after losing a game 15-0

Jimmy Connors plays two tennis matches and winds up with $850,000, and Muhammad Ali fights for one bout and winds up with five million bucks. Me, I play 190 games--if you count exhibitions -- and I'm overpaid!
-Johnny Bench

An ardent supporter of the home town team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.
-Robert Benchley

The wind always seems to blow against catchers when they are running.
-Yogi Berra

This is a tough park for a hitter when the air conditioning is blowing in.
-Bob Boone on the Astrodome in Houston

The best place to catch a baseball hit by (Mark) McGwire is definitely not within the confines of the playing field, or sometimes even the ballpark. Other players dial '1' for long distance. McGwire has to ask for an international operator.
-Thomas Boswell, writing in the Washington Post

Last year [1986], in 415 at bats, he had 27 homers and 80 steals. That's 40 home runs and 120 steals for a full year. [...] This year [1987], in 93 at bats, he's hitting .409 with those 12 homers, 27 RBI, 28 runs and 13 steals. For a full year, that projects to ... well, it doesn't project to anything. It's nonsense. More than 70 home runs, 170 RBI, 180 runs, 80 steals. Wayne Gretzky stats for baseball.
-Thomas Boswell on Eric Davis

A lot of long relievers are ashamed to tell their parents what they do. The only nice thing about it is that you get to wear a uniform like everbody else.
-Jim Bouton, NY Yankees pitcher

Everybody in the park knows he is going to run, and he makes it anyway.
-Larry Bowa, on Lou Brock

Jackie (Robinson) was the greatest competitor I ever saw. He didn't win. He triumphed.
-Ralph Branca Dodger pitcher

If I stay healthy, I have a chance to collect three thousand hits and one thousand errors.
-George Brett

You mix two jiggers of scotch to one jigger of Metrecal. So far I've lost five pounds and my driver's license.
- Rocky Bridges, on his new diet drink

Coaching third with a pitcher on base is like being a member of a bomb disposal squad. The thing could blow up in your face at any moment.
-Rocky Bridges

You know when you've got it made? When you get your name in the crossword puzzles.
-Rocky Bridges

I prefer fast food.
-Rocky Bridges, on why he won't eat snails

No little boy in the hospital asked me to hit one, I didn't promise it to my kid for his birthday, and my wife will be too shocked to appreciate it. I hit it for me.
-Rocky Bridges, after hitting his first home run in two seasons

No one wants to hear about the labor pains, they just want to see the baby.
-Lou Brock

He seemed to have an obligation to hit.
-Lou Brock, on Pete Rose

To know for sure, I'd have to throw with a normal hand, and I've never tried it.
-Mordecai "Three-Finger" Brown When asked if his curve was helped by the absence of an index finger

I exploit the greed of all hitters.
-Lew Burdette

Let them think I throw it. That gives me an edge because it is another pitch they have to worry about.
-Lew Burdette, on throwing the spitball

They were starting to hit the dry side of the ball.
-Lew Burdette, on when he knew it was time to retire

I threw about 90% fastballs and sliders, 50% fastballs and 50 % sliders...I'm starting to sound like Mickey Rivers.
-John Butcher

I thought I had it. I was twisting around like this. It grazed my glove, hit me on the head, and bounced over. I'll be on ESPN for about a month.
-Jose Canseco

This boy throws so fast you can't see 'em and he knows where he is throwing, because if he didn't there would be dead bodies all over Idaho.
-Joe Cantillion, on Walter Johnson before joining the Washington Senators

I'll tell you what's helped me my entire life. I look at baseball as a game. It's something where people can go out, enjoy and have fun. Nothing more.
- Harry Caray

I get a kick out of watching a team defense me. A player moves two steps in one direction and I hit it two steps in the other direction. It goes right by his glove and I laugh.
-Rod Carew

How do you say, "Adios" in Spanish?
-Clay Carrol, former Reds reliever

Pro-rated at 500 at-bats per year, my 1,081 strike-outs would mean that for 2 years out of the 14 I played, I never touched the ball.
-Norm Cash

I owe my success to expansion pitching, a short right field fence, and my hollow bats.
-Norm Cash, First Baseman for the White Sox and Tigers 1958-74

If you're not having fun in baseball, you miss the point of everything.
-Chris Chambliss

I wasn't scared. I just told them to give me all that hockey equipment.
-Roger Clemens, who wore Mo Vaughn's forearm pad and Kevin Mitchell's shinguard to get his first major-league hit

If a Latin player or even an American Negro is sick, they say it is all in the head. Felipe Alou once went to his team doctor and the doctor said, 'You don't have anything.' So he went to a private doctor and the doctor said, 'You have a broken foot.'
-Roberto Clemente, Pittsburgh Pirates OF

I knew I was in trouble when they had to call a proctologist to set my thumb.
-Rick Dempsey, Baltimore Orioles, after blocking home plate against Bo Jackson

The phrase 'off with the crack of the bat', while romantic, is really meaningless, since the outfielder should be in motion long before he hears the sound of the ball meeting the bat.
-Joe DiMaggio

This guy don't come to the ballpark to beat you. He comes to beat you bad. This Robinson, he plays a ton.
-Leo Durocher, Dodger Manager 1947, on Jackie Robinson

I don't like the record. You can have it.
- Andres Galarraga, after being hit by pitch an Atlanta team record 21 times.

One good night does not a hitter make.
- Tom Glavine after Smoltz's two-hit, three-RBI performance

I loved the game. I'd have played for food money. I'd have played for free and worked for food.
-Joe Jackson, in W.P.Kinsella's Shoeless Joe Jackson

(Nolan) Ryan's the only guy to put fear in me. You just hoped to mix in a walk so you could have a good night and go 0-for-3.
- Reggie Jackson

Sometimes, everyone in the bullpen would like to know if there is Plan B. We're apparently not going to get that information.
- Kerry Ligtenberg

It's a beautiful shade of mauve.
- Greg Maddux, on the shade of his left leg after taking a liner in the thigh and a hard grounder in the shin

Nolan (Ryan) knows he has perfect mechanics. It makes no difference that he doesn't understand the mechanics. He lucked into throwing the ball right. It came naturally to him. If he had been taught, he probably wouldn't do it right.
--Dr. Mike Marshall, former Major League pitcher

He looked like a monster. You see the guy on TV, you can tell he's a big guy. When he stands up at the plate, he makes (catcher) Javy (Lopez) look small standing there. You try not to look at him while you pitch to him.
- Kevin Millwood on Mark McGwire

How should I put this? I was receptive to getting that many runs today.
- Denny Neagle after the Braves trounced the Mets 12-1.

I can remember my years with the Mets, just hoping that I'd get four years in so I'd qualify for my pension. That was my goal. Then, after I did that, I thought maybe I could hang on long enough to get ten years in.
- Nolan Ryan

Put the right pitching mechanics together with good health, and there's nothing surprising about lasting a long time.
- Nolan Ryan

I was concerned with my back problems and I said, "Well, I'll just go seven innings. Then I got through seven and decided I'm not going to give in to it because I just needed six more outs. This no-hitter comes so late in my career that it makes it very special."
- Nolan Ryan, on his sixth no-hitter

He has been doing well in Triple-A. He has spent nine years in Triple-A, he should be doing well there.
--Bobby Valentine on Mike Mimbs

What I like about him is he is a regular guy," Valentine said. "But he is not a regular baseball player, and he is going to demand a salary that's irregular.
--Bobby Valentine On Mike Piazza

That's the true harbinger of spring, not crocuses or swallows returning to Capistrano, but the sound of a bat on the ball.
-Bill Veeck, 1976