FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: images.cnnsi.com

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SPORTS QUOTES

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Sports quotes of 2002
Posted: Tuesday December 24, 2002

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WINTER OLYMPICS

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Salt Lake City was already under scrutiny as host of the first major event in the United States after the September 11 attacks but within days a figure skating scandal threatened to overshadow the Games.

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"We had a gold medal performance and now I own a gold medal. This silver medal story had become bigger than any silver medal." -- Canadian David Pelletier after he and partner Jamie Sale were awarded duplicate gold medals following the pairs judging scandal.

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"To be up there with my teammates was all the better because of the events of September 11. Our team typified the spirit of America -- good, clean, hard-working guys just honored to be Olympic athletes." -- Mike Eruzione, captain of the 1980 ice hockey team who lit the Olympic flame.

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"I feel like a criminal out here. They look inside my racing suit as if they want to check my underwear." -- Russia's cross-country skier Larisa Lazutina, a five-time gold medallist, about tight security.

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"My mother hasn't a clue what skiing is. She still cooks food stirring with twigs. She is a peasant woman." -- Nepalese cross-country skier Jay Khadka.

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"I don't want to say that one is more beautiful than the other. It's the same as having sex -- every time is beautiful." -- Austria's Andreas Schifferer when asked how his super-G skiing bronze compared to his 1998 World Cup downhill title.

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SOCCER WORLD CUP

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The final had a familiar feel when Brazil lifted its fifth World Cup after beating three-times champions Germany 2-0 on June 30.

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But there were still plenty of shocks as defending champion France and Argentina made early exits.

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"Well what do you know: God isn't an Argentinian." -- Headline in Argentine tabloid Ole after the team fail to qualify for the second round.

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"We sacrificed 1,000 soldiers to defend Korea and one Korean has killed 70 million Turks with this decision." -- Turkish FA president Halak Ulusoy on a referee's decision to award Brazil an 87th-minute penalty during the group stages. Turkey lost 2-1.

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"That gentleman will never set foot in Perugia again. I have no intention of paying a salary to someone who has ruined Italian soccer." -- Perugia chairman Luciano Gaucci on axing South Korea's Ahn Jung-hwan from the club after he scored the goal which knocked out Italy.

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"I'm sure sex wouldn't be as rewarding as winning the World Cup. It's not that sex isn't good but the World Cup is every four years and sex is not." -- Ronaldo after helping Brazil to victory with his two goals in the final.

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OTHER SOCCER

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"The players don't appear to understand that football is a full-time job, seven days a week. Half-an-hour after the match they're playing cards again and making big-shot comments. They go and eat their free scampi after the game, while I go home with indigestion watching them play like that and am up all night because I can't sleep." -- Bayern Munich commercial manager Uli Hoeness after his team lost to bottom-placed St Pauli 2-1 in a German first division match in February.

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"When I win I am lucky and when I lose I am a donkey." -- Italian-born Chelsea coach Claudio Ranieri on trying to win over his critics.

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"No problem... we've got enough shrimps." -- Norwegian soccer club Floey's chairman Rolf Guttormsen after Vindbjart agreed to sell striker Kenneth Kristensen in return for his weight in shrimps.

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BOXING

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"I wish he was dead... I wish I could kill him, now." -- Mike Tyson ahead of his June fight with world heavyweight champion Lennox Lewis.

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"I am definitely not scared of Mike Tyson. I am at the top of the food chain and he is looking to knock me off. Mike's an arrogant imbecile. He sounds like a cartoon character." -- Lewis in May.

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TENNIS

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"I sure am worth a major bank, I definitely am. I'm really exciting, I smile a lot, I win a lot and I am really sexy." -- American Serena Williams on the prospects of new sponsorship deals after her Wimbledon title.

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"It's a real ripper." -- Australian Lleyton Hewitt on his first Wimbledon singles title.

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"I think surely I'd be a struggling college student, fighting for the next Cup of Noodles. At least I can fight for the next filet mignon here." -- Venus Williams on what she might have become without tennis.

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"Normally I went to tournaments to work hard but now I actually use tournaments as a rest." -- Dutchman Richard Krajicek describes the difference now that he has a young family at home.

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"My ego was saying I should play but I realised that Mikhail (Youzhny) would give a better effort than I could. I am proud of what I did -- I sent my ego back to Siberia." -- Yevgeny Kafelnikov about stepping down from playing the deciding fifth match in the Davis Cup final against France, which Russia won in December.

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"The good thing was, it couldn't get any worse." -- Andre Agassi of his position at two sets and a break down before he came back to beat Paul-Henri Mathieu in five sets in the French Open fourth round.

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MOTOR RACING

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"I'm still hungry for more." -- Ferrari's Michael Schumacher after winning the final Formula One race of the season.

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"I am not a legend, just someone who is lucky enough to do well at something that he really enjoys." -- Schumacher.

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"When I started racing my father told me 'Cristiano, nobody has three balls but some people have two very good ones."' -- CART champion and new F1 driver Cristiano Da Matta.

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"What people started to think of Formula One was that it was bloody boring because the same team was winning. And not only that but they are taking the Mickey as well." -- Formula One supremo Bernie Ecclestone after the controversial Austrian "team orders" grand prix in May.

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"Ferrari ruin everything." -- headline in Italy's Gazzetta dello Sport after Austria.

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"No way. It's like expecting to go have lunch on the moon." -- Renault boss Flavio Briatore on his team's chances of winning a Formula One race.

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GOLF

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."All I did was lead them (the players) to the water and they drank copiously." -- European captain Sam Torrance after his team pulled off victory over the United States in the 34th Ryder Cup in September.

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"There are 12 guys here but we were led by the infamous Colin Montgomerie, who was magnificent all week. Bad heart, bad back, and he'll have a bad head tomorrow." -- Torrance on his fellow Scot.

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"These days, you play the golf course and you play Tiger. You can beat the field but it doesn't mean you're going to beat Tiger." -- British Open champion Ernie Els on Woods's dominance of the sport before the start of the tournament.

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"Two majors is still a great year. I think sometimes the media and everybody tend to lose perspective on how difficult it is to win a major championship." -- Woods on his failure to win the grand slam after a disastrous outing at the British Open.

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CYCLING

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"She shouted at me. She's like that, she always does it. She knows how hard I train and the sacrifices I make and she wants to protect me. She thinks I should go to church every day." -- Italian Saeco rider Gilberto Simoni on his mother's reaction to his positive cocaine test.

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"I like what I do. For me it's a hobby and a job. I'm passionate about cycling. I get a lot of enjoyment out of trying to win the Tour de France." -- American Lance Armstrong on his way to winning his fourth consecutive Tour de France in July.

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"I cannot understand how Jan, who was in rehabilitation, can find himself in a disco at three in the morning." -- Deutsche Telekom manager Walter Godefroot in July after 1997 Tour winner Jan Ullrich admitted taking amphetamine tablets in a disco while recovering from knee surgery.

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ATHLETICS

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"He is a very nice boy but he is weak when it comes to alcohol." -- Paal Arne Fagernes's manager Tor Krageboen after the javelin thrower spent a night in an Oslo jail after a drinking spree.

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SKI JUMPING

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."I felt so hot even though it was so cold. If the event had gone on for another day I think I would have just died or all my hair would have fallen out." -- German Sven Hannawald in January after becoming the first ski jumper to win all four legs of the prestigious Four Hills tournament.

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HORSE RACING

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"The Melbourne Cup doesn't mean anything to me any more. I'd give it away right now to have my brother back." -- Jockey Damien Oliver who won the Melbourne Cup in November the week after his older brother Jason died following a racetrack fall.

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"We're done. We've got no shot." -- U.S. trainer Bob Baffert's reaction as War Emblem, seeking to complete the Triple Crown in the Belmont Stakes, stumbled out of the starting stalls.

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CRICKET

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"They have to be the best side that I've seen, without doubt. The batting is outstanding, the bowling is pretty good too and the fielding is brilliant, just brilliant." -- Keith Miller, a member of Don Bradman's 1948 "Invincibles," on Australia's cricket side in November.

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"You have to look at all the positives he made in South African cricket and not the mistakes." -- Gerald Majola, chief executive of South Africa's United Cricket Board, at Hansie Cronje's funeral after the disgraced former South African captain died in a plane crash in June.

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"I thought I'd make this innings a fitness session." -- Aravinda de Silva after scoring 206 against Bangladesh in Colombo in July.

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"For all Bradman's achievements, Tendulkar is the closest thing to batting perfection I've seen -- in terms of technique and temperament." -- Sunil Gavaskar on Sachin Tendulkar after he recorded his 30th test century, one more than Bradman, in August against England.