FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: bangingtunes.com

SOCCER QUOTES
.
For those who dont know (Shame on you if you follow football!) Ian Holloway is the manager of QPR and tends to come out with complete gibberish during interviews, here are a few of them:
.
"Do we want women to come and watch? I do, I think they're bloody pretty, prettier than any man I've seen. What do women like? Legs. Our shorts are getting longer. And why can't players lift their shirts up to celebrate? Who is it disrespecting? Ladies like to see a good looking lad with his shirt off. They'd have to go somewhere else though cos all my lot are ugly as hell,"
.
I reckon the ball was travelling at 400mph, and I bet it burned the keeper's eyebrows off. [after a 2-0 win at Crewe]
.
I mean no respect to Donatella. I'm sure she would not be flattered to hear she looks like Marc Bircham.
.
I've got to get Dan Shittu ready for the Stoke game. I've told him to go to Iceland and ask if he can sit in one of their freezers
.
There was a spell in the second half when I took my heart off my sleeve and put it in my mouth
.
Right now, everything is going wrong for me - if I fell in a barrel of boobs, I'd come out sucking my thumb!
.
To the people who booed - boo to you! Come to my house tomorrow and we can fight!
.
When my mum was running our house, when I was a kid, all the money was put into tins. She knew what was in every tin and I know how much I've got in my tin - that's the way we'll run this club.
.
It's like putting a snake in a bag, if you do not tie it up, it will wriggle free.
.
What the hell he [the referee] saw I don't know - he ought to go down to Specsavers.
.
The fat lady hasn't started to sing yet, but she has a mic in her hand.
.
To put it in gentleman's terms, if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, you've done what you set out to do. We didn't look our best today but we've pulled. Some weeks the lady is good looking and some weeks they're not. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She may not have been the best looking lady we ended up taking home but it was still very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much and let's have coffee.
.
We need a big, ugly defender. If we had one of them we'd have dealt with County's first goal by taking out the ball, the player and the first three rows of seats in the stands.
.
You never count your chickens before they hatch. I used to keep parakeets and I never counted every egg thinking I would get all eight birds. You just hoped they came out of the nest box looking all right. I'm like a swan at the moment. I look fine on top of the water but under the water my little legs are going mad.
.
You can say that strikers are a bit like postmen, they have to get in and out as quick as they can before the dog has a go.
.
(About the reporter who claimed Danny Shittu was to be sold): Whoever that was, I would like to pull his pants down and slap his arse like I used to do to my kids. Apparantly im not even allowed to do that anymore otherwise I will have the old health and safety on my back giving it the old 'hello'. The world's gone mad. Tony Blair won the election, so why's he gotta resign? I think the Conservative fella should. If he couldn't win an election with a failing government, or a flailing government, what's the matter with him? Get out you ain't no good. I know we're not talking football...we are, aren't we?
.
...I can't see into the future. Last year I thought I was going to Cornwall on my holidays, but I ended up going to Lyme Regis....
.
Our substitute didnt have his shirts or pants on. I've had better days
.
Every dog has its day - and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark.