FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: sayings.funnyjunkz.com

HOCKEY QUOTES
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Hockey captures the essence of Canadian experience in the New World. In a land so inescapably and inhospitably cold, hockey is the chance of life, and an affirmation that despite the deathly chill of winter we are alive.
- Stephen Leacock
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Hockey belongs to the Cartoon Network, where a person can be pancaked by an ACME anvil, then expanded - accordion-style - back to full stature, without any lasting side effect.
- Steve Rushin
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All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity.
- Gordie Howe
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Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept.
- Doug Larson
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Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns.
- John Leonard
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A puck is a hard rubber disc that hockey players strike when they can't hit one another.
- Jimmy Cannon
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Hockey is a tough game. With all the talk and everything that's going on right now, it frightens me a little bit that we are giving our players an excuse not to hit. I just hope that we don't take that out of our game at the pro level.
- Bobby Orr
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Certainly we're not satisfied with just winning games. We've been playing some pretty good hockey, but we think we can play much better.
- François de la Rochefoucauld
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I don't like my hockey sticks touching other sticks, and I don't like them crossing one another, and I kind of have them hidden in the corner. I put baby powder on the ends. I think it's essentially a matter of taking care of what takes care of you.
- Wayne Gretzky
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Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records.
- Anonymous
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High sticking, tripping, slashing, spearing, charging, hooking, fighting, unsportsmanlike conduct, interference, roughing… everything else is just figure skating.
- Anonymous
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Hockey is the original extreme sport.
- Tom Ward
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: quotations.about.com

 

Alfred Hitchcock: Famous Football Quote
There are several differences between a football game and a revolution. For one thing, a football game usually lasts longer and the participants wear uniforms. Also, there are usually more casualties in a football game. The object of the game is to move a ball past the other team's goal line. This counts as six points. No points are given for lacerations, contusions, or abrasions, but then no points are deducted, either. Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally.

Hugh Campbell, after his team had defeated Whitman 70-30: Famous Football Quote
It wasn't as easy as you think. It's hard to stay awake that long.

Ray Lewis, to Elvis Grbac: Famous Football Quote
You don't have to win it, just don't lose it.

Bo Jackson: Famous Football Quote
If my mother put on a helmet and shoulder pads and a uniform that wasn't the same as the one I was wearing, I'd run over her if she was in my way. And I love my mother.

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