FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: boxingbanter.com

Image: ringmemorabilia.com
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BOXING TRIVIA
Bert Sugar's Top 100 Fighters of All Time
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Posted: September 26 2006 Post subject: Bert Sugar's top 100
------------------------------------
.
1) Ray Robinson
2) Hank Armstrong
3) Willie Pep
4) Joe Louis
5) Harry Greb
6) Benny Leonard
7) Muhammad Ali
8)Roberto Duran
9) Jack Dempsey
10) Jack Johnson
11) Mickey Walker
12) Tony Canzoneri
13) Gene Tunney
14) Rocky Marciano
15) Joe Gans
16) Sam Langford
17) Julio Cesar Chavez
18) Jimmy Wilde
19) Stanley Ketchel
20) Barney Ross
21) Jimmy McClarnin
22) Archie Moore
23) Marcel Cerdan
24) Ezzard Charles
25) Ray Leonard
26) The Original Joe Walcott
27) Jake Lamotta
28)Eder Jofre
29) Emile Griffith
30) Terry McGivern
31) George Foreman
32) Johnny Dundee
33) Jose Napoles
34) Pascual Perez
35) Billy Conn
36) Ruben Olivares
37) Joe Frazier
38) Tommy Loughran
39) Sandy Saddler
40) Kid Chocolate
41) Abe Attell
42) Evander Holyfield
43) George Dixon
44) Maxie Rosenbloom
45) Larry Holmes
46) Ted 'Kid' Lewis
47) Marvin Hagler
48) Pernell Whitaker
49) Carlos Zarate
50) Thomas Hearns
51) Battling Nelson
52) Beau Jack
53) Ricardo Lopez
54) John L Sullivan
55) Carlos Monzon
56) Alexis Arguello
57) Carmen Basilio
58)Pete Herman
59) Charley Burley
60) Ike Williams
61) Kid Gavilan
62) Jack Britton
63) Dick Tiger
64) Pancho Villa
65) Panama Al Brown
66) Bob Fitzsimmons
67) Philadelphia Jack O'Brien
68) Tiger Flowers
69) James J Corbett
70) Tony Zale
71) Tommy Ryan
72) Georges Carpentier
73) Sonny Liston
74) Kid McCoy
75) Bob Foster
76) Freddie Welsh
77) Joe Jeanette
78) Jim Driscoll
79) Jersey Joe Walcott
80) Peter Jackson
81) Ad Wolgast
82) Jack Dempsey nonpareil
83) Manuel Ortiz
84) Jim Jeffries
85) Salvador Sanchez
86) Jimmy Barry
87) Carlos Ortiz
88) Roy Jones jr.
89) Wilfredo Gomez
90) Aaron Pryor
91) Bernard Hopkins
92) Mike Gibbons
93) Jack Delaney
94) Johnny Kilbane
95) Willie Ritchie
96) Wilfred Benitez
97) Packy MacFarland
98) Rocky Graziano
99) Lew Jenkins
100) Mike Tyson
===============

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: huffingtonpost.com

BOXING QUOTES
Quotes by Bert Sugar
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Sanford D. Horwitt
Jake LaMotta in a Pantsuit, and Other Presidential Contenders
Posted April 8, 2008
---------------------------------------
.
Campaigning in Philadelphia last week, Hillary Clinton threw a bucket of cold water on the growing chorus calling for her to concede the Democratic nomination to Barack Obama. Evoking the image of Philadelphia's fictional fighting hero, Rocky Balboa, Hillary said: "Let me tell you something. When it comes to finishing the fight, Rocky and I have a lot in common. I never quit. I never give up."
.
Her identification with Rocky got me thinking about boxing and presidential politics from a neutral corner, so to speak. What legendary, real-life fighters are reminiscent of Clinton, Obama and John McCain?
.
As a kid growing up in the Midwest in the 1950s, I was often glued to the TV set watching the Friday nights fights from Madison Square Garden. Partly, it was the wonderful, exotic names--Kid Gavilan was one of my favorites.
.
But mainly I was intrigued by the contrasting styles of the sluggers, counter punchers, southpaws and so forth. And in boxing, style counts for a lot, as it does in politics.
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The other day, I tracked down the Boxing Hall of Fame historian Bert Randolph Sugar, and asked him to share his pugilistic insights on the three political heavyweights still in the ring.
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The author of 80 books, Sugar, 72, answered the phone at his home in, of all places, Chappaqua, New York, where Bill and Hillary also live--and nearby. "I can see their house," he says. "Seamus, their dog, leaves presidential souvenirs on my lawn."
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As soon as I popped the question, Sugar was off and running. "The person that Hillary reminds me of is Jake LaMotta. He had grit, guts. He was a rough, tough brawler. He didn't mind taking two to the face to land one to the body."
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LaMotta was the middleweight champion when, on the night of February 14, 1951 in Chicago, Sugar Ray Robinson dethroned him in the 13th round. The ending of that brutal fight, which some call the St. Valentine's Day Massacre, was immortalized in the movie, Raging Bull. In the movie, when the referee mercifully stops the fight as LaMotta is pummeled on the ropes, Jake defiantly shouts at Robinson: "You never got me down, Ray, you never got me down." That, Bert Sugar says, "reminds me of Hillary."
.
In his book, Boxing's Greatest Fighters, Sugar ranks Ray Robinson and Henry Armstrong as the top two of all time. His third best, who lost only once in his first 136 fights, was the featherweight champion Willie Pep, who fought mainly in the 1940s and 50s.
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"Obama is a Willie Pep," Sugar says. "Pep had great moves, and was always on the move. He once won a round without throwing a punch. He was as eloquent in his movements as Obama is in his speech. And you couldn't lay a glove on him."
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Indeed, Sugar, who prefers Hillary Clinton for the Democratic nomination, thinks Obama's dazzling style has allowed him to elude potential haymakers such as his association with the Chicago pastor Jeremiah Wright, Jr.
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In recent weeks, John McCain has portrayed himself as an amalgam of Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt and Ronald Reagan. McCain's incorporation of several styles and images reminds Bert Sugar of the 1920s heavyweight Gene Tunney.
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"Tunney was a boxer with predecessors," is the way Sugar puts it. "He appropriated from others. He would take a little of this fighter, James J. Corbett, a little of that fighter, Benny Leonard, a little from Hank Dillon, a light heavyweight champion. And that made him what he was.
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" Tunney had a highly successful career, losing only once in 83 bouts, the loss occurring in a 1922 bout when he absorbed a terrible beating from Harry "The Windmill" Greb. "Tunney's blood was all over everybody in the first five rows," Sugar says. But like McCain, who was bloodied in the 2000 South Carolina primary and left for dead by Karl Rove and his boys, Tunney's tenacity and smarts ultimately paid off. In four subsequent bouts with Greb, he won them all.
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Last year, Bert Sugar and the fabled boxing trainer Angelo Dundee coauthored the book, My View From the Corner. Sugar suggested I give his friend Angie a call, which I did. Dundee, gregarious and energetic-sounding at 86-years old, said he didn't follow politics. "I know boxing; I don't know anything else," he assured me.
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But when I asked Dundee, who trained Muhammad Ali and George Foreman among other champions, about Willie Pep, you could almost see his eyes widening. "Oh, God. The most magnificent boxer I ever saw. He was so graceful. It was like watching a ballet dancer in mid-air. He was my hero. I told him: 'Willie, you were the greatest I ever saw.'"
.
And come Election Day in November, John McCain may discover what Hillary Clinton already knows: it's hard to beat somebody as talented as Willie Pep.
=======================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: robneyer.com

Image: robneyer.com
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BASEBALL QUOTES
Quotes about Boston's Fenway Park
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Talkin' Fenway
I hoped to include a section of quotes at the beginning of the book, or at least insert a quote to lead each chapter. But I wasn’t able to get either done, so instead here are the best quotes I’ve found about Fenway Park and Red Sox baseball.
.
.
“… the Wall giveth and the Wall taketh away.”
-- Roger Angell
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“Fenway Park, in Boston, is a lyric little bandbox of a ball park. Everything is painted green and seems in curiously sharp focus, like the inside of an old-fashioned peeping-type Easter egg.”
-- John Updike
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“Baseball isn’t a life-and-death matter, but the Red Sox are.”
-- Mike Barnicle, Boston Globe, 1977
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“All literary men are Red Sox fans. To be a Yankee fan in literary society is to endanger your life.”
-- John Cheever
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“The Yankees belong to George Steinbrenner and the Dodgers belong to Manifest Destiny, but the Red Sox, more than any other team, belong to the fans.”
-- Steve Wulf, Sports Illustrated, 1981
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“An almost inexorable baseball law: A Red Sox ship with a single leak will always find a way to sink ... No team is worshipped with such a perverse sense of fatality.”
-- Thomas Boswell, How Life Imitates the World Series, 1982
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“Boston has two seasons: August and winter.”
-- Billy Herman, Red Sox manager, 1965
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“The Red Sox are a religion. Every year we re-enact the agony and the temptation in the Garden. Baseball child’s play? Hell, up here in Boston it’s a passion play.”
-- George V. Higgins, Time, 1980
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“Almost anywhere in Fenway you feel connected. There are no distant seats. There really is a feeling of connection and intimacy.”
-- David Halberstam in Fenway
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“There’s no place like it, and it’s ours.”
-- Stephen King in Fenway
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“... I’ve got this ace in the hole in the back of my mind that it will never happen because Boston is so goddamned corrupt that it’s be forty or fifty years before they grease enough palms.”
-- Stephen King in Fenway
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“Great stretches of Canadian forests have been destroyed to print the paper on which people have written paeans to Fenway Park. There’s something in its intimacy, there’s something in that incredible green-ness. There’s something in the peculiarity of the way that the outfield follows its meandering pathway from right to left ...”
-- Dan Okrent (source?)
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“The Great Wall of Boston, the left field fence, the Tombstone of the Red Sox. It has done more to bury their pennant chances year in and year out than the generations of scatter-arm shortstops, banjo hitters, crooked-arm pitchers and even the unfriendly press. The Wall is the biggest enemy to Boston since the Redcoats.”
-- Jim Murray (L.A. Times, 1967)

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: angryclam.com

Image: commons.wikimedia.org
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OLYMPICS TRIVIA
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[ Includes Track and Field Sports ]

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Not every Olympic event has been a success. Some, like live pigeon shooting and equestrian high jump, lasted just one year. Here’s a look at some other sports no longer in the Olympic program:
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Rope climb (1896, 1904, 1924, 1932): Using only their hands, competitors try to see how fast they can get to the top of the rope.
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One-hand weightlifting (1896): Similar to the modern snatch event, but athletes were only allowed to use one hand.
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Tug-of-war (1900-1920): Two teams of eight try to pull a rope six feet; if neither team reaches the mark after five minutes, the team that pulls the farthest wins.
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Standing high jump (1900-1912): Same as the traditional high jump, only without a run-up.
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Standing broad jump (1900-1912): The long jump without a run-up.
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Standing triple jump (1900-1904): Also known as the hop, step and jump; started from a stationary position.
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Underwater swimming (1900): Swimmers were awarded points for how far they went and how long they stayed under water.
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Swimming obstacle race (1900): Racers had to swim through the River Seine, climb up and down a pole, then go over and under several boats.
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Live pigeon shooting (1900): The birds were released and shooters tried to kill as many as possible.
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Equestrian high jump (1900): Riders see who can jump the highest on horseback.
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Equestrian long jump (1900): Long jumping on horseback.
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Basque pelota (1900): A form of handball played mostly on the border of Spain and France.
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Rugby union (1900, 1908-24): One of the most popular team sports in the world still waiting to get back into the Olympics.
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56-pound weight throw (1904, 1920): A 56-pound weight affixed with a handle that’s thrown over a pole vault bar.
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All-around dumbbell contest (1904): Competitors performed 10 different lifts with dumbbells over two days.
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Club swinging (1904): Similar to rhythmic gymnastics, only the competitors swing clubs around their bodies.
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Plunge diving (1904): From a standing position, divers see how far they can go without taking a stroke.
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Duelling pistol (1906): Shooters fired at mannequins wearing frock coats and bull’s-eyes on their chests.
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Motor boating (1908): Three categories of races in boats; IOC later decided against allowing anything with a motor.
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Jeu de paume (1908): Similar to squash, only competitors use their hands instead of a racket to strike the ball.
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Plain high diving (1912-24): Divers were not allowed to do any acrobatic moves; they just dove straight into the water.
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Tumbling (1932): Athletes do flips and twists along a two-foot-wide strip; now part of the modern gymnastics floor exercise.
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Solo synchronized swimming (1984-92): Swimmers were awarded points based on routines synchronized to music.
=========================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: cleveland-sports.spaces.live.com

Image: profile.myspace.com
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BASEBALL TRIVIA

Proof That Baseball Is A Weird Game

.
If you want more proof that baseball is a funny game, look no further than the Indians four game sweep over the Tampa Bay Rays this weekend. The Tribe came into the series on a 10 game losing streak, and the Rays had the league’s best record. Cleveland has a journeyman just up from the minor leagues (Matt Ginter) and a guy who hadn’t won a big league game all year (Jeremy Sowers) pitching the last two games of the series, yet won both games. Weird, indeed!
.
Want more proof? Look at SS Jhonny Peralta. Peralta was struggling all season long at the plate. His strike zone judgment regressed, his batting average was in the .220 range, and he couldn’t seem to get a hit with a man on base. For some reason, Eric Wedge decided to put him into the clean up spot in the batting order. Since that move has been made, Peralta has torn the cover off the ball. Over the last 30 days, the SS is batting .340 with 5 HR’s and 24 RBI. He’s raised his batting average to .261, and his OPS is approaching 800, which is above average league wide. Very, very strange.

===================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: billiards.about.com

Image: clown-ministry.com
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BILLIARDS HUMOR
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Pool Beats Golf
Why Pocket Billiards is the Superior Game

As much I love golfing, I must say pool trumps it in so many ways:
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Don’t have to bring my own ball(s)
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Dress code is more chic
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Fewer are allergic to felt than mowed St. Augustine grass
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I can shoot pool when it snows or sleets and I hardly ever lose a ball in the water
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No out-of-bounds stakes
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One cue, not 14 different clubs
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Open until dawn, not waking before dawn
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Pool: $5 per hour; Golf: $5,000 per membership
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The higher the score the better you scored
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The National Sporting Goods Association ranked Golf in 2006 as the 16th most popular participatory sport (24.4 million US golfers). Pocket Billiards firmly ranked as eleventh.
=======================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: mndaily.com

Image: riogrande.com.br
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HANDBALL QUOTES
May 7, 2008
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U instructor inducted into handball hall of fame
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More than 40 years ago, a young man serving in the Navy began noticing men congregating in a cement room - the men were playing handball. And the rest is history for Jim Carlson, who's loved the sport ever since.
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On Wednesday, Carlson, who instructs handball at the University, will be inducted into the Minnesota State Handball Association Hall of Fame as a coach and teacher. Only one other player has been inducted for his coaching and teaching abilities alone.
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"To be able to retire and teach young adults is amazing," Carlson said. "Even the ones who can't throw the ball in the beginning can volley and are smiling at the end."
.
Carlson has taught about 500 University students since he began teaching handball at the University Recreation Center in 2003. Carlson began teaching the sport at the Midway YMCA in St. Paul in the early 1970s.
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Carlson said while players can quickly develop talent in some sports, handball requires years of practice to master the fundamental skills.
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"It takes everything you got to play handball," Carlson said. "You can't think about anything else. It consumes all your thoughts and energy."
.
Carlson said the sport, which dates back to 1840s Ireland, is perfect for former high school and college athletes because it keeps them in shape.

Professional sports teams like the New York Yankees and the Minnesota Vikings require their players to play handball during the off-season to keep up their hand-eye coordination, strength, quickness and endurance.
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Carlson recruited the help of two volunteers, Ted Bergstrom and Ron Causton, to help him instruct the students.
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Like Carlson, both Causton, 70, and Bergstrom, 78, have been playing the sport for four decades.
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Bergstrom said he lettered in four different sports in college - boxing, track, football and wrestling - none of which could he perform in his later years.
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"You can play handball anywhere at any age," Bergstrom said.
And all three men consistently conquer college students on the court.
"Old age and trickery will win over youth every time," Causton said, laughing.
=========================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: icing.org

Image: rottentomatoes.com

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CURLING HUMOR

.

For those not that familiar with curling terms and slang

please see below curling lingo to help the curling novice

appreciate Men with Brooms, a movie about the sport pf

curling.

.

CURLING TERMINOLOGY (humorous take on each term):

°A

.

°B

° Beginner: The new curler who makes great shots with wrong turns and crappy deliveries.

° Biter: That one rock in the last end of a tied game that has been shot at and missed 6 times in a row.

° Blank: The look on a Skip's face when he/she flashes a hammer-shot past an open hit and gives up six.

° Blanked end: Nobody had draw weight.

° Bonspiel: An excuse to get together with a bunch of guys, drink some beer, curl a few ends, drink more beer, curl a few more ends, drink more beer, smoke cigars, drink more beer, ....

° Broom (Brush): Something for a Skip to lean on when he/she gets tired from yelling at the front end to "Hurry! Hard!" (See Off the Broom.)

° Broom Bag: An extra large carrying case that will hold 1 curling broom, 24 cans of beer, 1 bottle scotch, 1 large bag of ice cubes, 3 bags of pretzels and more.

° Bury: What you do with your head when you hog your rock in the eighth end.

° Button: The thing on which you put your tired butt, after you've swept 16 light rocks. (Also known as a bench).

.

° C
° Chip: A short shot with a short back-swing in order to land the ball on the green .. oops .. wishing it were summer! (See Tee-line.)

° Curling: A game in which you slide rocks along a surface of ice. Rocks which you expect to curl will go straight, and rocks which you expect to go straight will curl. It's lots of fun and the outcome of the game is often left totally up to chance.

.

° D
° Delivery: That beautiful, fully-balanced, rink-long slide with a controlled, smooth release that allows the shot to miss anyway.

° Double: What every losing curler wants to order when the opposition asks what he/she is drinking. (See Triple.)

° Draw: The best outcome of a game between a husband and a wife.

° Draw-master: The Skip you beat in your last game. He/she makes certain your next game is against the defending World Championship team which is playing its way out of your club.

° Draw weight: Damned if I know!

.

° E
° Eight-foot: The space between the object rock and the Vice's shooter as he/she misses a takeout. (See Four-foot and Twelve-foot.)

° End: What the front end thinks a hard-swept game will never do.

° Extra end: The favourite(??) part of a game for Leads and Seconds, especially when it comes in the 3rd 10-end game of the day.

.

° F
° Flip (Toss) of the coin: A very important part of the game. It determines the colour of the handles on the rocks upon which you will blame your poor shots.

°Four-foot: The space between the object rock and the Second's shooter as he/she misses a takeout. (See Eight-foot and Twelve-foot.)

° Free Guard Zone: The area of the ice where all shots that were too light end up.

° Freeze: What you do until you sweep the first 2 stones.

° Front End: The 2 players who make the Skip look good.

.

° G
° Gallery: The 100's of people who witness your miss of a simple hit and stay for the win. Also, the 1 lone soul who witnesses your quadruple angle-raise takeout for 8.

° Guard: A shot that was supposed to take out an opponent's stone but came up short of the house. (See Hit.)

° Good Curling: Being healthy enough to be at the rink and able to participate. (Consider the alternatives.)

° Great Shot: Any time Lady Luck is on your side.

° Gripper: The guy who knows why every shot was a miss: "The ice was too wide! A straw caught the stone! There was frost on the ice!" .. Wait .. I thought you said "GRIPER"!

.

° H
° Hack: A hopelessly untalented curler.

° Hammer: What you want to use on your Skip after he/she misses an open hit and gives up 6.

° Hard: The shot you are expected to make to save the end.

° Heavy: The rock that Bubba picks up and wipes on his sweater, in order to clean its running surface.

° Hit: A shot that was supposed to be a guard but was too heavy and knocked out a stone or 2 or 3. (See Guard.)

° Hog: The first guy to the buffet table at a curling banquet.

° Hog Line: The rest of the people at the buffet table at a curling banquet.

° House: A dwelling a curler owns and inhabits during summer months but only visits between bonspiels in winter.° Hurry: A way to make it to the washroom between shots.

.

° I
° In-turn: When all players throw their rocks in the proper order. (See Out-turn.)

.

° J
.

° K
° Keen: The attitude of a curler in the first end until the opposition scores 6.

.

° L
° Lead: Short for Leader .. truely, the most important member of the team.

° Losers: The most skilled players with the best excuses. (See Winners.)

.

° M
° Measurement: The 3 fingers laid against the side of a tall glass to indicate how much rum you want in the glass.

.

° N
° Negative ice: A skip's explanation for missing his/her shot by a mile.

° Nice try: What a kind Skip calls the shot that you missed.

° Narrow: Not wide. (See Wide.)

.

° O
° Off the broom: The brief moments in a game when the Skip isn't leaning on his/her broom. (See Broom.)

° On the broom: Not wide! Not narrow! Just lucky!

° Outside, Inside, Pinched the broom! Expressions used by your Skip to say you missed the shot. The terms never imply that the broom was positioned wrong in the first place.

° Out-turn: When a team member throws one too many rocks. (See In-turn.)

.

° P
° Pebble: That huge piece of something that snags under a rock to make it come to a sudden and untimely stop.° Pick: The reason given by the Skip for his/her stone coming up 12 feet short on a free draw.

° Q

.
° R

.
° Raise: The 100% increase in pay earned by an unpaid player after he/she makes a good shot.

.

° Release: Remembering to let go of the rock, remembering to put on the correct turn, remembering to apply the correct weight, remembering you were supposed to be throwing the other colour, just as you let go of the rock.

° Rings: Gifts brought home to abandoned curling wives.

.

° S
° Second: The amount of time between a button draw and a hack weight take-out.

° Sheets: What the East Coast curler suffers after 3 jugs of crummy draft beer.

° Shit shot: The shot nobody saw. It often has "parking lot" weight and, after unforeseen rubs and hits and rolls, leaves the team which was sitting 4 (buried) looking at its opposition counting 2.

° Shitty shot: According to your Skip, anything you miss. (See Tough shot.)

° Skip: The position that each member of the team thinks he/she is playing.

° Slider: A common expression heard 2 hours after the game, at one of the lounge tables, as in .. "That thar beer .. slider over here!"

° Stats: The record of the shots you made .. this number will rarely exceed 30%.

° Stone: That extremely heavy piece of granite that seems to slide and slide and slide and slide with very lttle effort.

° Sweep: Something a curler (except a Skip) will almost kill him/herself doing on ice, but wouldn't be caught dead doing at home.

.

° T
° Take-out: The meal wolfed down between shots in the 3rd game of the day.

° Tap: The long handle the bar maid pulls to fill the jug.

° Tee-line: The place where you set up the ball before you .. oops .. thinking of summer again! (See Chip.)

° Tie-breaker: The game between the 2 teams tied for 5th place, scheduled at 6 AM, Sunday morning. (Players would have preferred winner to be declared on Saturday, by flip of a coin.)

° Toss (Flip) of the coin: A very important part of the game. It determines the colour of the handles on the rocks upon which you will blame your poor shots.

° Tough shot: According to your Skip, anything he/she misses. (See Shit shot.)

° Triple: A double, but even better, especially if you lost. (See Double.)

° Trophy: The prize given to a winning team. Usually, it will not fit inside a mini-van, takes 4 gloating grown-ups to carry it, takes up 3/4 of a photograph and has not been engraved for the past 12 years. Smaller varieties fill attics, garages and basements everywhere.

° Twelve-foot: The space between the object rock and the Skip's shooter as he/she misses a takeout. (See Four-foot and Eight-foot.)

° U

.
° V
° Vice: What non-curlers say fanatic curlers have.

.

° W
° Wide: Not Narrow. (See Narrow.)

° Winners: Those that Lady Luck liked the most. (See Losers.)

.

° X
.

° Y
.

° Z