Image: rlv.zcache.com.
SPORTS HUMOR \ INSULTS
.
Related topics: Trash talking, heckles, put-downs
.
Top Ten Most Heated Sports Interviews
.
"LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE"
.
Click here to view ===> TOP TEN INTERVIEWS (ON VIDEO)
================
Thursday, June 24, 2010
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: youtube.com
Image: rlv.zcache.com.
SPORTS HUMOR \ INSULTS
.
Related topics: Trash talking, heckles, put-downs
.
Top Ten Most Heated Sports Interviews
.
"LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE"
.
Click here to view ===> TOP TEN INTERVIEWS (ON VIDEO)
================
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: nba.fanhouse.com
Image: retrojunk.com
.
BASKETBALL TRIVIA \ HUMOR
Blogger presents each NBA team's worst #1 draft choice
.
Sample one - Bad draft choice:.
Blazers: Sam Bowie. 2nd, 1984
Fair or not, he's going to be the guy here. And if for some reason you don't know why this didn't work out for Portland, hop in your car, drive to the airport, take the first flight available to Chicago, find any local sports fan and ask them how drafting Michael Jordan worked out for them that year.
.
Click here to view ===> WORST #! DRAFT CHOICE BY NBA TEAM
================
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: nba.com
BASKETBALL QUOTES
Web site presents the lighter side of NBA quotes
.
“Rebound by one of the big guys … Divac, I think … Hands off to one of the little guards … The big guy with the beard passes off to the little lefty … Boy, I’m having trouble with these names.”
--Legendary Boston radio announcer Johnny Most, calling a McDonald’s Open game between the Celtics and Jugoplastika Split of Croatia
“When you lose a 'must' game, it wasn't a 'must' game.”
--Danny Whelan, New York Knicks trainer
“What do you have when you have an agent buried up to his neck in sand? Not enough sand.”
--Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager
“Don’t you ever pass?”
--Bob Cousy, after teammate Bill Sharman’s length-of-the-court attempted pass to him swishes through the net for a basket during the 1957 NBA All-Star Game in Boston Garden
“He doesn’t shine them … he sends them through a car wash.”
--Lynn Shackelford, former UCLA forward, describing the size-22 shoes worn by eight-time All-Star Bob Lanier
“If that guy makes a turnover, we’re gonna be in deep trouble.”
--Former Dallas Mavericks executive Rick Sund, on a Mavericks halftime show featuring a man juggling chainsaws
“I’m not talking any more. That’s it. No more words. It’s over. Wanna know the deal? Mum is the word here. My game talks and conversation walks. It’s just that I’m basically a quiet guy who keeps to himself. I don’t like to talk.”
--Edgar Jones, vowing not to speak to the media anymore, a promise he was unable to keep even as he was making it
“If I could look into the future, I wouldn’t be sitting here talking to you doorknobs. I’d be out investing in the stock market.”
--Former Celtics great Kevin McHale, when asked to assess his team’s prospect in an upcoming season
“I was just getting acquainted with the wood. I wanted to see if it was maple or pine.”
--Former Los Angeles Lakers forward Kurt Rambis, after a period of play in which he was kicked in the head, knocked to the floor and shoved out of bounds
“I knew it was time to retire when I was driving down the lane and got called for a three-second violation.”
--Johnny Kerr, former NBA player and coach
“Sport is the only profession I know of that when you retire you have to go to work.”
--Earl Monroe
“I was thinking I was going to be a rich man until the government stepped in and took it all.”
--Australian-born Luc Longley, on NBA salaries and U.S. taxes
“We all get heavier as we get older because there’s a lot more information in our heads.
Our heads weigh more.”
--Vlade Divac, explaining why he reported to Lakers training camp 15 pounds heavier
“It’s one thing to hear about it from your coach, but when your wife tells you it stinks,
you tend to work on it.”
--Orlando Woolridge, on a deficiency in his game
“A man has to know his limitations and I don't have any.”
--Edgar Jones
“If we stay free of injuries, we’ll be in contention to be a healthy team.”
--Chris Morris, while with the New Jersey Nets in 1993
"Nobody fights with Jerry because you know the price would be too high. You might come out the winner, at his age, you might even lick him, but you'd lose an eye, an arm, your testicles in the process, everything would be gone."
--Utah Jazz President Frank Layden, on head coach Jerry Sloan
.
====================
Web site presents the lighter side of NBA quotes
.
“Rebound by one of the big guys … Divac, I think … Hands off to one of the little guards … The big guy with the beard passes off to the little lefty … Boy, I’m having trouble with these names.”
--Legendary Boston radio announcer Johnny Most, calling a McDonald’s Open game between the Celtics and Jugoplastika Split of Croatia
“When you lose a 'must' game, it wasn't a 'must' game.”
--Danny Whelan, New York Knicks trainer
“What do you have when you have an agent buried up to his neck in sand? Not enough sand.”
--Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager
“Don’t you ever pass?”
--Bob Cousy, after teammate Bill Sharman’s length-of-the-court attempted pass to him swishes through the net for a basket during the 1957 NBA All-Star Game in Boston Garden
“He doesn’t shine them … he sends them through a car wash.”
--Lynn Shackelford, former UCLA forward, describing the size-22 shoes worn by eight-time All-Star Bob Lanier
“If that guy makes a turnover, we’re gonna be in deep trouble.”
--Former Dallas Mavericks executive Rick Sund, on a Mavericks halftime show featuring a man juggling chainsaws
“I’m not talking any more. That’s it. No more words. It’s over. Wanna know the deal? Mum is the word here. My game talks and conversation walks. It’s just that I’m basically a quiet guy who keeps to himself. I don’t like to talk.”
--Edgar Jones, vowing not to speak to the media anymore, a promise he was unable to keep even as he was making it
“If I could look into the future, I wouldn’t be sitting here talking to you doorknobs. I’d be out investing in the stock market.”
--Former Celtics great Kevin McHale, when asked to assess his team’s prospect in an upcoming season
“I was just getting acquainted with the wood. I wanted to see if it was maple or pine.”
--Former Los Angeles Lakers forward Kurt Rambis, after a period of play in which he was kicked in the head, knocked to the floor and shoved out of bounds
“I knew it was time to retire when I was driving down the lane and got called for a three-second violation.”
--Johnny Kerr, former NBA player and coach
“Sport is the only profession I know of that when you retire you have to go to work.”
--Earl Monroe
“I was thinking I was going to be a rich man until the government stepped in and took it all.”
--Australian-born Luc Longley, on NBA salaries and U.S. taxes
“We all get heavier as we get older because there’s a lot more information in our heads.
Our heads weigh more.”
--Vlade Divac, explaining why he reported to Lakers training camp 15 pounds heavier
“It’s one thing to hear about it from your coach, but when your wife tells you it stinks,
you tend to work on it.”
--Orlando Woolridge, on a deficiency in his game
“A man has to know his limitations and I don't have any.”
--Edgar Jones
“If we stay free of injuries, we’ll be in contention to be a healthy team.”
--Chris Morris, while with the New Jersey Nets in 1993
"Nobody fights with Jerry because you know the price would be too high. You might come out the winner, at his age, you might even lick him, but you'd lose an eye, an arm, your testicles in the process, everything would be gone."
--Utah Jazz President Frank Layden, on head coach Jerry Sloan
.
====================
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: nba.com
BASKETBALL HUMOR \ SLANG
.
Basketball U on Hoops Lingo
Posted Jan 6 2005 9:37AM
.
Excerpts of lingo listing:
.
All Ball
Often said by the defensive player who appears to have blocked the shot but instead is called for a foul.
.
All Day
If a player can consistently make a shot, it's said that he can make it "all day".
.
And One
This is when a player gets fouled while in the act of shooting but still scores the basket. He then gets the opportunity to make it a three-point play by getting one free throw attempt.
.
Automatic
Players who, when they shoot, anticipate that the ball is going in. The Seattle SuperSonics' Ray Allen is automatic from the foul line, making more than 85 per cent of his free throws in his career.
.
Black Hole
If the ball is passed inside to the post and never passed back out to the perimeter player, the post player is a "black hole". Once the ball goes in, it never comes back out!
.
Break Ankles
When a player makes a move that causes the defender to stumble or fall, the defender has had his "ankles broken".
.
Bringing the House Down
If a player is on a shooting streak, he is "bringing the house down".
.
Bucket
The rim or a made basket. A player who is having trouble scoring "can't buy a bucket".
.
Buzzer Beater
A last second shot that is made as the final buzzer sounds.
.
Camping in the Key
Refers to a player guilty of a three-second violation in the key.
.
Crunch Time
The end of a game when the score is close. In Indiana, Reggie Miller has built a reputation for making the big shot at crunch time; Pacers fans call this "Miller Time".
.
D Up
To play defence. This is also known as "checking your man".
.
Dagger
A basket late in the game that seals a victory.
.
Doing the Dirty Work
Hustling, rebounding and getting back on defence on a fast break are all elements of "doing the dirty work".
.
Drop
To score. For example, "Shaq routinely drops 30 (points) on opposing players."
.
Dropping Dimes
Passing the ball to teammates for assists.
.
Enforcer
This is the toughest player on the team, usually a centre or power forward, who tries to set the physical tone of the game with an aggressive rebound or hard foul. The Miami Heat's Shaqulle O'Neal is an enforcer.
.
Facial
To shoot or dunk directly in an opponent's face.
.
Floater in the Key
A high arcing shot taken on a drive in the paint. This is also known as a "teardrop".
.
Flush
To dunk the basketball with authority.
.
Garbage Man
A player that does the "dirty work". Bo Outlaw of the Memphis Grizzlies is one of the NBA's best "garbage men".
.
Get the Roll
This is when a player shoots the ball and it rolls around the rim, but eventually falls in for a score. This is also known as a "shooter's roll".
.
Go-To Guy
This is the team's best offensive player who is relied upon to score or create his own shot when his team needs a basket.
.
Go to the Bank/Bank Shot
A shot off the backboard.
.
Go to the Hole
To drive to the basket.
.
Green Light
When a player is given the approval by his coach to shoot at any time regardless of the distance of the shot or time on the clock. A player given the "green light" to shoot has "no conscience", meaning he has no regrets about any shot taken at any time.
.
Gretzky Pass
In hockey, an assist is awarded to the last two offensive players to pass to the goal scorer. In basketball, often the most important pass is the one that leads to the pass for the assist. Canadian coaches have coined this "the Gretzky pass".
.
He Got Game
A complete player who can shoot, pass, dribble, rebound and play defence. When discussing Ray Allen of the Seattle SuperSonics, most observers would agree, "He got game!"
.
"He's feeling it!"
When a player has made consecutive shots in a row. This player may be a streaky shooter capable of making many shots consecutively.
.
His Shot
A shot a player is comfortable taking and consistently makes. This is a high-percentage shot. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar of the Los Angeles Lakers was one of the few NBA players capable of consistently making his hook shot, known as the "sky hook".
.
House
The key area. Dikembe Mutombo is famous for waving his index finger after blocking a shot and saying, "Don't come into the house of Mutombo!"
.
In the Zone
A player who is on a shooting streak, making a high percentage of his shots despite the level of difficulty, is "in the zone".
.
J
Jump shot.
.
Kicks
Sneakers or running shoes.
.
Killer Crossover
This is when a ball-handler dribbles the ball across his body changing from right hand to left hand, or left hand to right hand. If done quickly enough, it may leave the defender off-balance, allowing the ball-handler to pass, shoot or drive. Tim Hardaway is famous for his Killer Crossover, also known in his college days at the University of Texas-El Paso as the UTEP Two-Step.
.
Knock it Down
To make a shot.
.
Lock Him Up
To defend a player so that he cannot shoot, pass or dribble.
.
Low Block
The area near the basket outside of the key where low-post players create space to receive a pass.
.
Monster Jam
A powerful dunk.
.
Monster on the Boards
An aggressive rebounder.
.
My Bad
Often heard by a player to his teammates after a bad pass or turnover.
.
Nailed to the Bench
Players who seldom play are said to be "nailed to the bench".
.
On a Roll
A player on a shooting streak. "Butter me up 'cause I'm on a roll!"
.
Pine Time
Time spent on the bench. This is also known as "riding the pine" or "getting splinters".
.
Post Up
A player who positions himself near the free-throw lane for a pass with his back to the basket and a defender behind him.
.
Posterize
To dunk over another player. This word came about because photos for posters are made from these types of plays.
.
PT
This is short for "playing time". This is also known as "getting some run".
.
Rock
The basketball. To "protect the rock" is to be careful when handling the basketball.
.
Set the Table
When a point guard begins the halfcourt offence, he is "setting the table". From here, the point guard can "drive and dish" or "feed the post".
.
Show and Go
A shot fake used before driving to the basket.
.
Soft on D
When a player is considered a weak defender, he is known to be "soft on D".
.
Stretch the D with the Three
To make three-point shots, forcing the defence to come out (or "stretch") to defend the shooter. Teams that are not fearful of an offence's three-point shooters are known to "pack it in", meaning their defenders play close to the basket in the key.
.
Taking Him to School
When a player is consistently beating his defender, he is "teaching him a lesson" or "taking him to school".
.
Throw Down
To dunk.
.
Tickle the Twine
When a player "swishes" a shot, he is said to have "tickled the twine" or shot "nothing but net".
.
Trifecta
A three-point shot. Terms for taking a three-point shot include "launching a trifecta" and "dialing long distance".
Tweener
This word is derived from the word "between", as in a player is between the height of a guard and a forward. "Tweeners" often have the skills of a big man, but the height of a guard. Though only six foot five, Charles Barkley was one of the NBA's greatest rebounding power forwards.
.
Windmill
A dunk where the player brings the ball to his waist and raises it back up in a circular motion.
.
========================
.
Basketball U on Hoops Lingo
Posted Jan 6 2005 9:37AM
.
Excerpts of lingo listing:
.
All Ball
Often said by the defensive player who appears to have blocked the shot but instead is called for a foul.
.
All Day
If a player can consistently make a shot, it's said that he can make it "all day".
.
And One
This is when a player gets fouled while in the act of shooting but still scores the basket. He then gets the opportunity to make it a three-point play by getting one free throw attempt.
.
Automatic
Players who, when they shoot, anticipate that the ball is going in. The Seattle SuperSonics' Ray Allen is automatic from the foul line, making more than 85 per cent of his free throws in his career.
.
Black Hole
If the ball is passed inside to the post and never passed back out to the perimeter player, the post player is a "black hole". Once the ball goes in, it never comes back out!
.
Break Ankles
When a player makes a move that causes the defender to stumble or fall, the defender has had his "ankles broken".
.
Bringing the House Down
If a player is on a shooting streak, he is "bringing the house down".
.
Bucket
The rim or a made basket. A player who is having trouble scoring "can't buy a bucket".
.
Buzzer Beater
A last second shot that is made as the final buzzer sounds.
.
Camping in the Key
Refers to a player guilty of a three-second violation in the key.
.
Crunch Time
The end of a game when the score is close. In Indiana, Reggie Miller has built a reputation for making the big shot at crunch time; Pacers fans call this "Miller Time".
.
D Up
To play defence. This is also known as "checking your man".
.
Dagger
A basket late in the game that seals a victory.
.
Doing the Dirty Work
Hustling, rebounding and getting back on defence on a fast break are all elements of "doing the dirty work".
.
Drop
To score. For example, "Shaq routinely drops 30 (points) on opposing players."
.
Dropping Dimes
Passing the ball to teammates for assists.
.
Enforcer
This is the toughest player on the team, usually a centre or power forward, who tries to set the physical tone of the game with an aggressive rebound or hard foul. The Miami Heat's Shaqulle O'Neal is an enforcer.
.
Facial
To shoot or dunk directly in an opponent's face.
.
Floater in the Key
A high arcing shot taken on a drive in the paint. This is also known as a "teardrop".
.
Flush
To dunk the basketball with authority.
.
Garbage Man
A player that does the "dirty work". Bo Outlaw of the Memphis Grizzlies is one of the NBA's best "garbage men".
.
Get the Roll
This is when a player shoots the ball and it rolls around the rim, but eventually falls in for a score. This is also known as a "shooter's roll".
.
Go-To Guy
This is the team's best offensive player who is relied upon to score or create his own shot when his team needs a basket.
.
Go to the Bank/Bank Shot
A shot off the backboard.
.
Go to the Hole
To drive to the basket.
.
Green Light
When a player is given the approval by his coach to shoot at any time regardless of the distance of the shot or time on the clock. A player given the "green light" to shoot has "no conscience", meaning he has no regrets about any shot taken at any time.
.
Gretzky Pass
In hockey, an assist is awarded to the last two offensive players to pass to the goal scorer. In basketball, often the most important pass is the one that leads to the pass for the assist. Canadian coaches have coined this "the Gretzky pass".
.
He Got Game
A complete player who can shoot, pass, dribble, rebound and play defence. When discussing Ray Allen of the Seattle SuperSonics, most observers would agree, "He got game!"
.
"He's feeling it!"
When a player has made consecutive shots in a row. This player may be a streaky shooter capable of making many shots consecutively.
.
His Shot
A shot a player is comfortable taking and consistently makes. This is a high-percentage shot. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar of the Los Angeles Lakers was one of the few NBA players capable of consistently making his hook shot, known as the "sky hook".
.
House
The key area. Dikembe Mutombo is famous for waving his index finger after blocking a shot and saying, "Don't come into the house of Mutombo!"
.
In the Zone
A player who is on a shooting streak, making a high percentage of his shots despite the level of difficulty, is "in the zone".
.
J
Jump shot.
.
Kicks
Sneakers or running shoes.
.
Killer Crossover
This is when a ball-handler dribbles the ball across his body changing from right hand to left hand, or left hand to right hand. If done quickly enough, it may leave the defender off-balance, allowing the ball-handler to pass, shoot or drive. Tim Hardaway is famous for his Killer Crossover, also known in his college days at the University of Texas-El Paso as the UTEP Two-Step.
.
Knock it Down
To make a shot.
.
Lock Him Up
To defend a player so that he cannot shoot, pass or dribble.
.
Low Block
The area near the basket outside of the key where low-post players create space to receive a pass.
.
Monster Jam
A powerful dunk.
.
Monster on the Boards
An aggressive rebounder.
.
My Bad
Often heard by a player to his teammates after a bad pass or turnover.
.
Nailed to the Bench
Players who seldom play are said to be "nailed to the bench".
.
On a Roll
A player on a shooting streak. "Butter me up 'cause I'm on a roll!"
.
Pine Time
Time spent on the bench. This is also known as "riding the pine" or "getting splinters".
.
Post Up
A player who positions himself near the free-throw lane for a pass with his back to the basket and a defender behind him.
.
Posterize
To dunk over another player. This word came about because photos for posters are made from these types of plays.
.
PT
This is short for "playing time". This is also known as "getting some run".
.
Rock
The basketball. To "protect the rock" is to be careful when handling the basketball.
.
Set the Table
When a point guard begins the halfcourt offence, he is "setting the table". From here, the point guard can "drive and dish" or "feed the post".
.
Show and Go
A shot fake used before driving to the basket.
.
Soft on D
When a player is considered a weak defender, he is known to be "soft on D".
.
Stretch the D with the Three
To make three-point shots, forcing the defence to come out (or "stretch") to defend the shooter. Teams that are not fearful of an offence's three-point shooters are known to "pack it in", meaning their defenders play close to the basket in the key.
.
Taking Him to School
When a player is consistently beating his defender, he is "teaching him a lesson" or "taking him to school".
.
Throw Down
To dunk.
.
Tickle the Twine
When a player "swishes" a shot, he is said to have "tickled the twine" or shot "nothing but net".
.
Trifecta
A three-point shot. Terms for taking a three-point shot include "launching a trifecta" and "dialing long distance".
Tweener
This word is derived from the word "between", as in a player is between the height of a guard and a forward. "Tweeners" often have the skills of a big man, but the height of a guard. Though only six foot five, Charles Barkley was one of the NBA's greatest rebounding power forwards.
.
Windmill
A dunk where the player brings the ball to his waist and raises it back up in a circular motion.
.
========================
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: soccernet.espn.go.com
Image: rgr-static1.tangentlabs.co.uk
.
SOCCER QUOTES
Website presents the most notable World Cup soccer quotes in soccer history.
.
WORLD CUP 2010
.
Benito Mussolini (1938) "Win or die!"
.
(See details of quote in link below.)
.
.
Sir Bobby Robson (1990) "We didn't underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought."
.
Robson, famous for his confused remarks, was unsure as to whether Cameroon had met or exceeded expectations during their quarter-final clash against England at Italia '90. England had gone from a goal up to two goals behind before a late Gary Lineker penalty took the game into extra time, and a second Lineker spot-kick eventually saw Robson's men emerge as winners.
Sir Bobby Robson (1990) "We didn't underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought."
.
Robson, famous for his confused remarks, was unsure as to whether Cameroon had met or exceeded expectations during their quarter-final clash against England at Italia '90. England had gone from a goal up to two goals behind before a late Gary Lineker penalty took the game into extra time, and a second Lineker spot-kick eventually saw Robson's men emerge as winners.
.
Click here to view ===> WORLD CUP SOCCER QUOTES
.
---------
.
BONUS: More quotes from World Cup Soccer 2010
.
Who's saying what at the World Cup:.
"Pele should go back to the museum. As for Platini, he's French, he believes he's better than the rest of us."
- Argentina coach Diego Maradona reopening his war of words with two old rivals.
.
"Podolski, Elano, Maicon, they all played well but none of them can compare to Messi's performance. None of them reached even 40 percent of what Messi showed."
- Maradona.
.
"I said to Takeshi Okada 'if you get out of this group, they will have to build a statue of you in the middle of Tokyo'. He would deserve it."
- Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger on what he said to the Japan coach of his team's prospects of advancing from Group E which includes Cameroon, the Netherlands and Denmark.
.
"When I trained at Roma with the first team, Fabio Capello used to shout and it annoyed me. After a few years I understood a lot."
- Italy winger Simone Pepe talking about his start in football under current England coach Fabio Capello at AS Roma
.
"When I played my dad never said 'well done'. After Monday? No, he still hasn't."
- Pepe on his father's reaction to his World Cup bow against Paraguay on Monday.
.
"Tactically and technically they were equal with Brazil most of the time. This is amazing considering that they are playing in the World Cup after 44 years and their first game was against, arguably, the best team in the world at present."
- Asian Football Confederation president Mohamed Bin Hammam on North Korea, ranked 105 in the world, narrowly losing 2-1 to Brazil, the top-ranked team.
.
"Imagine with my voice even if the stadium is quiet I have difficulties talking to my players. They are part of South African folklore, they add a party atmosphere."
- Softly-spoken Sven Goran Eriksson speaks out in favour of vuvuzelas.
.
Source: haaba.com
.
===================-==
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source:telegraph.co.uk
Image: vizcarra.info.SOCCER QUOTES
Web site presents fiery quotes by soccer legend Diego Maradona (see caricature above)
.
# CAUTION: ADULT CONTENT PRESENTED IN LINK BELOW #
.
"LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!"
.
Click here to view ===> SOCCER QUOTES
================
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: aarp.org
Image: excitingbrazil.com.
SOCCER TRIVIA \ QUOTES
.
Seven Legends of World Cup Soccer
( Carbajal, Cubillas, Ghiggia, Kempes, Maradona, Pele, Yearwood )
Where are they now?
.
Click here to view ===> SEVEN LEGENDS OF WORLD CUP SOCCER
================
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