FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: workinghumor.com

SPORTS \ HEALTH & NUTRITION QUOTES
Quotes by P.J. O'Rourke, Political Journalist
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Remember, your body needs 6 to 8 glasses of fluid daily. Straight up or on the rocks.
(The Bachelor Home Companion)
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If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult.
(Modern Manners)
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Everything that's fun in life is dangerous. Horse races, for instance, are very dangerous. But attempt to design a safe horse and the result is a cow (an appalling animal to watch at the trotters.)
(Republican Party Reptile)
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Cockfighting has always been my idea of a great sport - two armed entrées battling to see who'll be dinner.
(Holidays in Hell)
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True, children look up to professional athletes. But children are short and look up to everything.
(Give War a Chance)
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AND, FINALLY, FOR THE NEXT CONFAB AT THE WATER COOLER:
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Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
(Parliament of Whores)
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: carpejam.wordpress.com

Image: toonpool.com

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SKIING \ MOUNTAIN CLIMBING QUOTES

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Mountains have a way of dealing with overconfidence.

(Hermann Buhl)

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Click here to view ===> QUOTES

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: golfcoursehumor.com

Image: vault.sportsillustrated.cnn.com
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GOLF QUOTES
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"I wouldn't send my mother-in-law out to plow in weather like this."
-- Dave Smith in foggy weather at the 1959 Amateur, before playing Jack Nicklaus
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"One of the nice things about the Senior Tour is that we can take a cart and cooler. If your game is not going well, you can always have a picnic."
-- Lee Trevino
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"I'm in the woods so much I can tell you which plants are edible."
-- Lee Trevino
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"Golf combines two favorite American pastimes, taking long walks and hitting things with a stick."
--P.J. O'Rourke
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"There are two things you can do with your head down, play golf and pray."
--Lee Trevino
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"I still swing the way I used to, but when I look up the ball is going in a different direction."
-- Lee Trevino
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"One under a tree, one under a bush, one under the water."
-- Lee Trevino describing how he shot one under
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"I can airmail the golf ball, but sometimes I don't put the right address on it."
-- Jim Dent
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"I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105."
-- Bob Hope
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"A golf ball is like a clock. Always hit it at 6 o'clock and make it go toward 12 o'clock. But make sure you're in the same time zone."
-- Chi Chi Rodriguez
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"President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes."
-- Bob Hope
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"Gerry Ford is easy to spot on the course. He drives the cart with the red cross painted on top."
-- Bob Hope
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"Gerald Ford is the most dangerous driver since Ben-Hur."
-- Bob Hope
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"I've been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals."
-- Bob Hope
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"Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink."
-- Bob Hope
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"Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls."
-- Bob Hope
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"My wife says there are days when I’m closer to shooting my weight than my age."
-- Bob Hope
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