SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: sccs.swarthmore.com

BASEBALL POEM

Line-Up for Yesterday

A is for Alex
The great Alexander;
More Goose eggs he pitched
Than a popular gander.

B is for Bresnahan
Back of the plate;
The Cubs were his love,
and McGraw his hate.

C is for Cobb,
Who grew spikes and not corn,
And made all the basemen
Wish they weren't born.

D is for Dean,
The grammatical Diz,
When the asked, Who's the tops?
Said correctly, I is.

E is for Evers,
His jaw in advance;
Never afraid
To Tinker with Chance.

F is for Fordham
And Frankie and Frisch;
I wish he were back
With the Giants, I wish.

G is for Gehrig,
The Pride of the Stadium;
His record pure gold,
His courage, pure radium.

H is for Hornsby;
When pitching to Rog,
The pitcher would pitch,
Then the pitcher would dodge.

I is for Me,
Not a hard-hitting man,
But an outstanding all-time
Incurable fan.

J is for Johnson
The Big Train in his prime
Was so fast he could throw
Three strikes at a time.

K is for Keeler,
As fresh as green paint,
The fastest and mostest
To hit where they ain't.

L is for Lajoie
Whom Clevelanders love,
Napolean himself,
With glue in his glove.

M is for Matty,
Who carried a charm
In the form of an extra
brain in his arm.

N is for Newsom,
Bobo's favorite kin.
You ask how he's here,
He talked himself in.

O is for Ott
Of the restless right foot.
When he leaned on the pellet,
The pellet stayed put.

P is for Plank,
The arm of the A's;
When he tangled with Matty
Games lasted for days.

Q is for Don Quixote
Cornelius Mack;
Neither Yankees nor years
Can halt his attack.

R is for Ruth.
To tell you the truth,
There's just no more to be said,
Just R is for Ruth.

S is for Speaker,
Swift center-field tender,
When the ball saw him coming,
It yelled, "I surrender."

T is for Terry
The Giant from Memphis
Whose .400 average
You can't overemphis.

U would be 'Ubell
if Carl were a cockney;
We say Hubbell and Baseball
Like Football and Rockne.

V is for Vance
The Dodger's very own Dazzy;
None of his rivals
Could throw as fast as he.

W, Wagner,
The bowlegged beauty;
Short was closed to all traffic
With Honus on duty.

X is the first
of two x's in Foxx
Who was right behind Ruth
with his powerful soxx.

Y is for Young
The magnificent Cy;
People battled against him,
But I never knew why.

Z is for Zenith
The summit of fame.
These men are up there.
These men are the game.

-Ogden Nash







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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: cbs.com

GOLF HUMOR \ QUOTES

Top Ten Ways Trevor Immelman's Life Has
Changed Since Winning The Masters

"I've been elevated from 'Unknown' to 'Obscure'"
"Thanks to the prize money, I no longer have to buy generic root beer"
"Suddenly I don't look so foolish for trademarking 'Immelmania'"
"I'm BFF's with Lauren and Heidi from 'The Hills'"
"President Bush called to congratulate me on winning Wimbledon"
"When my caddy reccomends a club I can say, 'Excuse me, how many Masters have you won?'"
"Invited to Masters Winners Week on 'Jeopardy'"
"I get a lifetime supply of them little pencils"
"Guess who's playing 36 holes with the Pope this weekend?"
"Get to put my arm around Tiger Woods and say, 'Maybe next year'"


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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: nypost.com

GOLF HUMOR
ESPN/CBS CAUGHT IN TIGER TRANCE

Story Bottom

By PHIL MUSHNICK

April 14, 2008 -- EVEN during rigidly cli mate-controlled Masters telecasts, network excesses performed on behalf of selling Tiger Woods to an audience that long ago bought in continues to aggravate and to amuse.

Friday, Woods was eight shots back and looking at a long putt on the 10th. And looking at it, and looking at it. As Woods surveyed the putt, walking it off, studying it from both sides, ESPN's CBS telecast fastened us to this scene for, good golly Miss Molly, two minutes and 38 seconds, until Woods finally putted.

Over that 2:38, we could have seen five or six players actually hitting shots, playing in and for The Masters. Instead, we watched Tiger Woods walk back and forth, bend down, stand up, walk around some more, look left, look right, take some practice strokes, look up, look down. If he had done the Hokey-Pokey and turned himself around, that's what it's all about!

It's as if Woods still needs TV's help to be recognized as the best, as if Woods needs a boost, as if the poor guy could use the help.

Saturday afternoon at 4:45, Woods made his first appearance on Page 1 of CBS's leaderboard. That's because when Woods got to four-under CBS made extra room to show his name on Page 1 of its leaderboard. The two players who had reached four-under before Woods - Lee Westwood and Sean O'Hair - would remain on Page 2, though Woods suddenly appeared on Page 1 with the same score.

Someday a network is going to show Woods at the top of the leaderboard even when he's three behind. Why not? The Golf Channel, two weeks ago, aired promos for its coverage of the Houston Open, promos that implied that Woods would be playing in it, though, as the people at Golf Channel well knew, he wouldn't.

Yesterday, while everyone had trouble scoring CBS' announcers took turns expressing their heartbreak for only one player; Woods had the TV exclusive on sympathy.

Someday the headline will read, "Scores Dead In Welsh Mining Disaster; Tiger Woods, -8 In Tucson, Unhurt."

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