SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Thursday, January 31, 2008

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: quotes4sport.com

SKIING QUOTES

Skiing is the only sport where you can spend an arm and a leg to breatk an arm and a leg"
Henry Beard

"Skiing? why break my leg at 40 degrees below zero when I can fall downstairs at home"
Corey Ford

"I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill"
Erma Brombeck

"I used to be with 3 women until 5 a.m. Now i'm in training, it's five women until 3 a.m."
Alberta Tomba

"Coaching women isn't much different from coaching men - just as long as you remember they are women"
Hank Tuber

"If god had meant Texans to ski, He would have made bullshit white"
Anon

In the biathlon, a Russian puts on a pair of skis, picks up a rifle, slides around in the trees, and stops every so often to shoot a West German"
Dan Jenkin

 




Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: golfweek.com

 
A history of insensitive sports quotes

April 1987, on ABC's "Nightline", then-Dodgers GM Al Campanis said blacks "may not have some of the necessities to be, let's say, a field manager, or perhaps a general manager." In the same interview, Campanis suggested blacks were not good swimmers because they "don't have the buoyancy."

May 1987, Isiah Thomas on then-Boston Celtics star and three-time MVP Larry Bird: "If Bird was black, he'd be just another good guy."

January 1988, CBS NFL analyst Jimmy "the Greek" Snyder said the black athlete is "bred to be the better athlete because, this goes all the way to the Civil War when . . . the slave owner would breed his big woman so that he would have a big black kid."

April 1988, then-Indiana basketball coach Bobby Knight: "I think that if rape is inevitable, relax and enjoy it."

• In 1992, then-Cincinnati Reds owner Marge Schott called former Reds outfielders Eric Davis and Dave Parker "million-dollar niggers." She also kept a swastika arm band at home, she said, and noted that "Hitler was good in the beginning, but he went too far."

September 1993, ABC "Monday Night Football" broadcaster Howard Cosell said: "Look at that little monkey go," when he referred to a play by black receiver Alvin Garrett of the Washington Redskins regarding a run after a reception.

May 1995, Ben Wright said of the LPGA: "Let's face facts here. Lesbians in the sport hurts women's golf. When it gets to the corporate level, that's not going to fly. They're going to a butch game, and that furthers the bad image of the game."

April 1997, after Tiger Woods won the Masters at age 21 to become its youngest champion, Fuzzy Zoeller (pictured) said: "That little boy is driving well and he's putting well. He's doing everything it takes to win. So, you know what you guys do when he gets in here? You pat him on the back and say congratulations and enjoy it and tell him not serve fried chicken next year. Got it? . . . or collard greens or whatever the hell they serve."

January 1999, Martina Hingis on fellow tennis player Amelie Mauresmo, who is openly gay: "She travels with her girlfriend, she is half a man."

December 1999, Atlanta Braves pitcher John Rocker on what it would be like to play full-time in New York for the Mets: "Imagine having to take the (No.) 7 train to (Shea Stadium) looking like you're (in) Beirut next to some kid with purple hair, next to some queer with AIDS, right next to some dude who got out of jail for the fourth time, right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids. It's depressing. The biggest thing I don't like about New York are the foreigners. You can walk an entire block in Times Square and not hear anybody speaking English. Asians and Koreans and Vietnamese and Indians and Russians and Spanish people and everything up there. How the hell did they get in this country?"  

May 2003, Mike Tyson said of the woman he was convicted of raping years earlier, Desiree Washington: "I just hate her guts. She put me in that state, where I don't know. I really wish I did now. But now I really do want to rape her."

September 2003, Rush Limbaugh on ESPN's NFL Countdown on Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb: "I think what we've had here is a little social concern in the NFL. The media has been very desirous that a black quarterback do well. There is a little hope invested in McNabb, and he got a lot of credit for the performance of this team that he didn't deserve. The defense carried this team."

July 2003, Cubs manager Dusty Baker, on why black and Latino players are more suited to play in the heat: "Personally, I like to play in the heat. You know, it's easy for me. I mean it's easy for most Latin guys and easy minority people as most of us come from heat. You know you don't find too many brothers from New Hampshire and Maine and upper peninsula in Michigan, right? I mean, you know, we're brought over here for the heat. Right? I mean ain't that – isn't that history? Weren't we brought over here because we could take the heat?"

October 2003, golfer Jan Stephenson said of the growing number of Asian players on the LPGA:  "This is probably going to get me in trouble, but the Asians are killing our tour. Absolutely killing it. Their lack of emotion, their refusal to speak English when they can speak English. They rarely speak. We have two-day pro-ams where people are paying a lot of money to play with us, and they say hello and goodbye. Our tour is predominantly international and the majority of them are Asian. They've taken it over. If I were commissioner, I would have a quota on international players and that would include a quota on Asian players. As it is, they're taking American money. American sponsors are picking up the bill. There should be a qualifying school for Americans and a qualifying school for international players. I'm Australian, an international player, but I say America has to come first. Sixty percent of the tour should be American, 40 percent international."

June 2006, Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen, upset over a column written by the Chicago Sun-Times' Jay Mariotti, said of Mariotti:  "What a piece of (expletive) he is, (expletive) fag."

April 2007, radio host Don Imus said of the Rutgers women's basketball team: "That's some rough girls from Rutgers. Man, they got tattoos. . . . That's some nappy-headed hos there."

– Compiled by Matt Severance

Posted: 1/10/2008





Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: sportsillustrated.cnn.com

SI columnist lists fan favorites from the world of sports quotes:
 
Brian Taylor, El Dorado Hills, Calif.: Pat Williams of the Orlando Magic on the value of a diploma from Florida State: "You can hang it from your rear view mirror and you get to park in the handicapped spaces."

Tom Kennedy, Bethpage, N.Y.: Oscar Gamble talking about how surprised Yankees free agents were about the reality of The Bronx Zoo: "They come here and they don't believe it be like it is, but it do."

Mike Toriello, New York City: Graig Nettles to Sparky Lyle after the Yankees acquired Goose Gossage: "You went from Cy Young to sayonara."

Brian Donohue, Brooklyn, N.Y.: Yankees catcher Ron Hassey: "Physically I'm fine, but mentally I'm day-to-day."

Travis Patterson, Summerville, S.C.: Tommy Lasorda marveling at the modern training room: "When I was playing we had one old guy called a trainer. All he had was a bottle of rubbing alcohol and he drank most of that by the seventh inning."

Ethan, Berkeley, Calif.: Abe Lemons, at the press conference announcing his hiring as basketball coach at Texas: "This year, we hope to run and shoot. Next year, we hope to run and score."

Justin, Somerville, Texas: Kruk's T-shirt at spring training after his battle with testicular cancer. The front read, "If you don't let me play..." and the back said, "I'll take my ball and go home."

Tess, Ft. Collins, Colo.: Patrick Roy responding through the media to comments made by Jeremy Roenick: "I can't hear what Jeremy says because my ears are blocked with my two Stanley Cup rings."

Glenn McCready, Bayside, N.Y.: John Madden doing a Redskins game during "The Hogs" days: "Look at that guy's helmet, it looks like a used car."

Paul Healy, Philadelphia: Dennis "Oil Can" Boyd, when a game in Cleveland was postponed due to heavy fog rolling in off of Lake Erie: "That's what you get for building a ballpark on the ocean."

Jim, Church Hill, Tenn.: Mike Ditka when he was negotiating a new contract with Chicago Bears owner George Halas: "Halas was throwing quarters around like they were manhole covers."

Kathleen, Minneapolis: Hockey coach Herb Brooks: "You play worse and worse every day and right now, you're playing like it's next month."

Paul Lacks, Minneapolis and Ryan, Fort Saskatchewan, Alberta: Twins manager Ron Gardenhire on his team's recent poor play: "We'll have different people in there tomorrow. We're going to give everybody a chance to look bad."

 





Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: theloveofsports.com

The All-Time Best Football Names Team

By Andy Fajardo
Love of Sports Correspondent

One of the responsibilities that come with having children is figuring out what they are going to be called.

Some parents either lack any creativity, or they love their own names so much they take the easy road and name their kids after themselves, ie. George Foreman.

Other parents feel obligated to ruin any shot their children may have at succeeding in having a normal life and give them names like the ones you are about to read below.

Enjoy!

The football list is where things get a little interesting. Omitted are such winners as Alabama's defensive dynamic duo of LB Alex Butt and DT Brandon Fanney. And you also won't find former Arkansas coach Houston Nutt recruits Casey Dick and Robert Johnson.

BEST NAMES IN FOOTBALL HISTORY

QB - Jim Bob Cooter, Tennessee University: Also had an uncle named Beaver.
QB - John C. Van Dam, Michigan State: Recruited for his rocket arm and killer roundhouse kick.
QB - Zach Asack, Duke: Say it out loud, you know you want to.
RB - Ray Ray McElrathbey, Clemson: Ray, a name so nice you gotta say it twice.
RB - Little John Flowers, New York Giants: Yeeeah!!! Whaaat!!! OooK!!!
WR - Taz Knockum, Mississippi: Solid.
WR - B.J. Johnson, Tampa Bay Buccaneers: One name = two penis references.
WR - De'Cody Fagg, Florida State: He absolutely loves the Antique Roadshow. Fellow Seminole teammate WR Craphonso Thorpe is an honorable mention selection here.
WR - George Shorthose, Kansas City Chiefs: His lack of speed wasn't the only reason he couldn't go deep.
OT - Joseph Joseph, Louisiana-Monroe: See Ray Ray McElrathbey above.
TE - Kyle Sackrider, Michigan State: Kyle WHAT!! What were his parents thinking?
K - Britt Barefoot, Southern Miss: Fitting.
DE - LeQuantum McDonald, Baylor: His sister, LaCalculus also attends Baylor.
DT - Tez Doolittle, Auburn: One of my personal favorites.
LB - Dick Butkus, Chicago: Hall of Fame name. One of the main reasons I wrote this list.
CB - Knowledge Timmons, Penn State: Majoring in LeQuantum Physics.
S - Harry Colon, Detroit Lions: Instant classic.
S - Atari Bigby, Green Bay Packers

Honorable Mention: Craphonso Thorpe, Mister Simpson, Early Doucet, Ladi Ajiboye, Jahre Cheeseman, Zaire Kitchen, Dusty Mangum, Mike Cox, Xxavier Carter, Digger Phelps, Xzavier Stewart, and let's not forget BenJarvus Green-Ellis (two names in four, beat that!).

BEST NAMES IN OTHER SPORTS

Dean Windass – Soccer: The list wouldn't be complete without one name referencing farting.
Danny Shittu - Soccer: Shittme? No! Shittu, pal.
Misty Hyman - Olympic Swimmer: If you're asking why, you didn't pass anatomy.
Irina Slutskya - Olympic Figure Skater: Really popular with the male crowd for some reason.
Ron Tugnutt - Hockey: The former goalie is only rivaled by another personal NHL favorite of mine, Haken Loob.
Assol Slivets - Olympic Skier: The female freestyle-skier married Danny Shittu in a beautiful ceremony last year. Top three names list contender.

TOP THREE ALL-TIME NAMES

3. I. Perfection Harris, CB, Georgia Tech: The I. stands for Immaculate. Look it up if you don't believe me. He's also got a brother named Supreme Justice. You can't make this up.
2. Dick Trickle, NASCAR: One of my all time faves.

And the #1 name in sports history is …. Drum Roll Please!!!!

1. Lucious Pusey, LB, Eastern Illinois: Lucious Pusey is like the Roger Federer and Tiger Woods of funny name lists. His name is the gold standard by which all other funny names should be measured against. Congratulations, sir!






Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: golfchannel.com

Quotes of the Week - 01/28/2008

By GOLFCHANNEL.com Team

Editor's Note: In our Parting Shots feature, the GOLFCHANNEL.com team offers up the best quotes from the most recent week in golf.

"He was a throwback. He raised the level of every player he worked for. He could take guys who were marginal and they would play well." -- Caddie Patrick Smith, about fellow caddie Steve Duplantis, who died tragically in an accident this past week.

"Does he actually receive texts? I know I tried to text Jack (Nicklaus) one time and he doesn't know how to do that." -- Tiger Woods, when asked if he was going to text message Arnold Palmer after he officially tied him on the all-time PGA TOUR career wins mark.

"We think the interest in golf in each country will heighten when these players compete in the Masters." -- Augusta National chairman Billy Payne, in announcing the invitations to three Asian Tour players for this year's Masters Tournament.

"There's two tournaments going on. I'm going to try to win the tournament that Tiger's not playing." -- Justin Leonard, during Tiger's runaway win at the Buick Invitational. Leonard placed fourth in the B Flight.

Tiger Woods
(Getty Image)
"Eighteen is a par 5, and we both got on in regulation. He missed a 20-footer, and I made a 15-footer, uphill, left-to-right. It came out of me. That was my first fist pump. I started upper-cutting the air. It was the greatest thing I ever did in my life, beating my dad." -- Tiger again, recalling the first time he let out one of his now famous fist pumps, when he was 11 and beat his dad for the first time.


Ryuji Imada
(Getty Image)
"This is the Tiger Woods Invitational, isn't it? My goal going into today was to finish second. That's almost like winning the golf tournament to me." -- Ryuji Imada, who did indeed finish second, thus being credited as the winner of the B Flight in San Diego.


"I actually think that if the conditions stayed the same at Torrey Pines as any other golf course, I think Torrey Pines is the hardest golf course in the country." -- Phil Mickelson, talking about the Buick's host course. Lefty tied for sixth.

"What he's going to do is screw the U.S. Open up for everyone else. If he had shot 10 or 11 under, the USGA would have said, 'Well, maybe we have it in the right spot.' Now, they may have to regroup a little." -- Fred Couples, commenting on Tiger's dominant performance at Torrey Pines and how the USGA might have to alter the course set up come June to make the winning score a little higher.






Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: foxsports.com

 
QUOTES BY AND ABOUT THE WORST ATHLETES-TURNED ENTERTAINERS
 
Cleveland Cavaliers star LeBron James is making his move into the entertainment realm. He showed excellent acting range with his cutting-edge shoe commercial campaign. He did comedic bits and even tried some song and dance during a recent sports award show.

 

Next up will be a stint on "Saturday Night Live," following a path Peyton Manning, Lance Armstrong, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Michael Jordan, Bob Uecker, Hulk Hogan and O.J. Simpson followed to crossover commercial success.

Should he devote more time to his hosting, acting and musical careers after the 2008 Summer Olympics, here are the athlete-entertainers he definitely should NOT emulate:

1) Shaquille O'Neal

In his latest TV adventure, the over-sized Miami Heat center hosted "Shaq's Big Challenge" on ABC this summer. This reality show addressed the problem of childhood obesity.

The irony of this wasn't lost on reporters, since Shaq has struggled with his own conditioning level for years. When the New York Daily News pressed him on this seeming incongruity, O'Neal said: "I've been a freak of nature. I've never been overweight. I've always had less than 14 percent body fat . . . Right now, I'm 335 [pounds], and I plan on staying around this weight."

Whatever the case, Shaq's new venture probably won't undo the damage of his ill-advised forays into movies ("Kazaam", "Steel", etc.) and music ("Shaq Diesel", "Shaq Fu, Da Return" and so forth) during his time in Southern California. His long-stated desire to go into the law enforcement field upon his NBA retirement sounds better all the time.

2) Joe Namath

Joe Namath was cool on the football field, but not so much in front of the camera. (Andy Lyons / Getty Images)

As quarterback of the New York Jets, Joe Namath was known as "Broadway Joe." Unfortunately, "Hollywood Joe" didn't fare so well.

Entertainment Weekly recalls his 1970 biker movie "C.C. and Company" as "unintentionally funny." Subsequent efforts like "Avalanche Express", "Chattanooga Choo-Choo" and "Going Under" didn't move the bar much higher.

His color commentary career didn't endure and his most famous on-screen scene has been his intoxicated come-on ("I want to kiss you") to mortified ESPN sideline reporter Suzy Kolber during a Jets telecast.

3) Mitch Gaylord

Gymnasts have historically faltered in the entertainment realm. The most glaring example was Gaylord's unfortunate performance opposite Janet Jones in "American Anthem." So much for his dreams of capitalizing on his 1984 Olympic Gold.

Here is one review floating around the Internet: "Gaylord's acting consisted mostly of hair-swishing, teeth-gritting and a James Dean impression that might have been better performed by a finger puppet."

4) Magic Johnson

The former Los Angeles Lakers star has built a remarkable career as an entrepreneur. His business instincts, like his passing skills on the court, are uncanny.

But his infamous foray into late-night television — "The Magic Hour" in 1998 — was painful to watch. Had it been exquisitely bad, it could have been a modern version of the Martin Mull/Fred Willard classic "Fernwood 2Night." But it was just bad.

Sidekick Craig Shoemaker was no Jerry Hubbard. Playful banter, humorous ad-libs and off-the-top-of-the-head quips were in short supply. As one poster over on JumpTheShark.com observed: "I personally don't know what's more frightening — the fact that someone greenlighted this show, or the fact that someone greenlighted a show for Tony Danza."

5) Wilt Chamberlain

It is nearly impossible to determine which athlete delivered the most wooden acting performance in movie history. There are dozens of them. But "Wilt the Stilt" wasn't very animated in "Conan the Destroyer," which put that much more pressure on Arnold Schwarzenegger to carry the movie.

San Antonio Spurs star Tim Duncan uses more facial expressions after drawing one personal foul than Wilt offered in this entire movie. It's no wonder Hollywood didn't call again.

6) Lyle Alzado

He is best remembered for his craziness with the Oakland Raiders, his admissions of wholesale steroid abuse and the fatal illness his chemical experimentation may have caused. Unlike fellow defensive linemen Karras, Olsen and Dryer, he didn't stray far from his football persona with his movie roles. His range wasn't the greatest.

Alzado's earlier credits included (gulp) "Ernest Goes To Camp" and "Tapeheads." His finest hour came as a demented convict in "Hangfire"; he worked with many B-movie greats in this prison-escape classic, including George Kennedy and Jan-Michael Vincent.

When this is the highlight of your acting career . . .

7) Dennis Rodman

Like John Daly, Rodman is a one-man sideshow. He can entertain a crowd by showing up to play basketball and show off his tattoos in, say, Finland. But he shot an air ball with his action movie, joining Jean-Claude Van Damme for the disastrous "Double Team."

Rodman played an arms deal named Yaz. Even in the scenes with the great Mickey Rourke, he didn't come alive on the screen. His subsequent entertainment credits include gems like "Strippers Ball", "Dead or Alive Extreme Volleyball" and the always credible "Lingerie Bowl."

8) Brian Bosworth

"The Boz" is known more for his hair than his acting prowess. ( / Getty Images)

The movie "Stone Cold" was supposed to launch an action movie career for "The Boz." The former Seattle Seahawks linebacker infiltrated a terrorist motorcycle gang and lots of bare-chested, totally gratuitous violence ensued.

"The Rock" he was not. Big studio offers were not going to come. Bosworth continued to hack away at the acting game, scooping up roles in "Nash Bridges," the movie remake of "The Longest Yard" and "CSI Miami." He and Bubba Smith are said to be in production with a thriller called "Clown Face." Be on the lookout for that.

9) Jack McDowell

As former Cy Young Award winners go, McDowell is a fine musician. He has hung out with Eddie Vedder, toured with the Smithereens and been compared to Marshall Crenshaw. He may have inspired Bronson Arroyo. However, Black Jack has NOT enjoyed commercial success with any of his musical projects.

When an elbow injury ended his baseball career, he threw himself into his band, Stickfigure. He told Guitar.com about making his transition: "Every once in a while, when I was with the White Sox, I'd bring (the guitar) on the plane, and we'd mess around and do stuff. That was fun. There were a handful of years when I'd actually take a portable four-track on the road and kind of throw down ideas and work on songs in a hotel room."

Alas, all that down time on the road failed to produce a single hit song.

10) Hulk Hogan

The Hulkster is a great American success story, except for the part about steroids. But his movie work fell short. There seemed to be some hope for him after he appeared as the fabulous "Thunderlips" in Rocky III, but then came "Suburban Commando" . . . "Thunder in Paradise". . . "Mr. Nanny" . . . "Santa With Muscles" . . . "Muppets from Space" . . . and lots of derisive reviews from the critics.

He is rallying with the reality show "Hogan Knows Best" on VH1. Watching an over-the-hill pro wrestler guide his attractive daughter to Britney Spears-like breakout (without the substance abuse, head-shaving and mom slapping) has made for some decent TV.

DISHONORABLE MENTION: Brett Favre ("Something About Mary"), Oscar de la Hoya (latin ballads), Dick Butkus ("Hangtime"), Kurt Thomas "Gymkata"), Gheorghe Mursean ("My Giant"), John Daly (country music), Ron Artest (rap music) and Roy Jones Jr. ( rap music), Fred "The Hammer" Williamson ("First of Fear, Touch of Death").

 




Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: foxsports.com

 
QUOTES BY AND ABOUT TEN BEST ATHLETES-TURNED ENTERTAINERS
 
Cleveland Cavaliers star LeBron James is making his move into the entertainment realm. He showed excellent acting range with his cutting-edge shoe commercial campaign. He did comedic bits and even tried some song and dance during a recent sports award show.

Next up will be a stint on "Saturday Night Live," following a path Peyton Manning, Lance Armstrong, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Michael Jordan, Bob Uecker, Hulk Hogan and O.J. Simpson followed to crossover commercial success.

Should he devote more time to his hosting, acting and musical careers after the 2008 Summer Olympics, here are the athlete-entertainers he should learn from.

1) Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

His football career didn't last long. After playing at the University of Miami, he failed to stick with the Calgary Stampeders of the Canadian Football League. He gravitated toward pro wrestling, where his athleticism and powerful stage presence earned him millions and the chance to cross over to Hollywood.

The Rock did well enough in "The Mummy Returns" to get the starring role in "The Scorpion King." That film made him one of the most bankable commodities in the industry. Like former bodybuilder Arnold Schwarzennegger and martial artist Chuck Norris, he is box office gold in action movies.

"The Rock" smells what the red carpet is cooking. (Vince Bucci / Getty Images)
LeBron James should heed this observation The Rock offered during his "Mummy" promotional tour: "It wasn't until I hosted 'Saturday Night Live' that different offers started coming in. Before, it was like, 'We want this big wrestler guy.' I was a big fan of 'Saturday Night Live' and when I was asked to host it, I was against doing any wrestling skits. I thought it was too old-school and I wanted to show what kind of depth I had as an entertainer. I wanted to showcase it on 'Saturday Night Live.'"

2) Alex Karras

When "Paper Lion" was filmed — chronicling George Plimpton's hapless "tryout" with the Detroit Lions — defensive tackle Alex Karras stole some scenes. So he gravitated into acting after his NFL career ended in 1971, starring as the horse-punching Mongo in "Blazing Saddles," an Olympic weightlifter in "The 500-Pound Jerk," a sheriff in the immortal "Porky's" and as a bodyguard in "Victor/Victoria."

His most enduring success came in a TV sitcom, as the adoptive father in "Webster" and husband to real-life wife Susan Clark. His numerous TV and movie roles and success on "Monday Night Football" made him a standard-setter for athletes in the entertainment world.

3) Bob Uecker

His mediocre baseball career as a (mostly) back-up catcher gave him much fodder for his second career as a wisecracking broadcaster. He gained national fame for his banter with Johnny Carson during appearances on "The Tonight Show."

His success in the booth landed him memorable roles on TV (George Owens in "Mr. Belvedere") and movies (Harry Doyle "Major League"). If he had a dollar for every time somebody uttered his catchphrase "Juuuuuuuuust a bit outside" he would be even wealthier today.

Despite his considerable success in Hollywood, Uecker always returned to the broadcast booth. During his induction speech at the Hall of Fame (as a broadcaster, of course) he said this: "Of all of the things that I've done, this has always been No. 1, baseball. The commercials, the films, the television series, I could never wait for everything to get over to get back to baseball."

4) Ed Marinaro

When Officer Joe Coffey got blown away in the groundbreaking TV cop drama "Hill Street Blues," America wept along with actress Betty Thomas. That moment was the acting pinnacle for former Minnesota Vikings running back Ed Marinaro.

He appeared in shows like "Laverne & Shirley" before making it big on Hill Street. In the two decades since then, he has earned scores of credits like "Falcon's Crest," "Dynasty" and more recently "Monk."

But his performance as Officer Coffey made his career. He was only supposed to last four episodes before perishing, but his chemistry with Thomas allowed him to last five seasons. "It gave me credibility as an actor," Marinaro said recently. "There's still a stigma attached as an athlete."

5) Ray Allen

The new Boston Celtics guard is the best serious actor on this list — thanks to his surprising performance as Jesus Shuttlesworth in the movie "He Got Game." He held up just fine in Spike Lee's college basketball recruiting tale starring Denzel Washington.

"It made me so nervous because I've never acted in my life," Allen said. "People always ask me if I'm nervous playing in front of twenty or thirty thousand people. That's easy to me. But in acting, you have to connect to emotions and you have to show everybody . . . the whole world . . . what is working inside of your head and inside of your heart."

Allen's next role, in the 2001 movie "Harvard Man," did considerably less to advance his career.

6) Terry Bradshaw

After his highly successful NFL career the former Pittsburgh Steeler aimed for the big screen. "I actually wanted to be accepted, and I wanted to learn the craft of acting, the techniques — and told the agents that I found, 'I don't want big roles. I don't deserve big roles. I want to earn it, like the others do: Study . . . do little scenes'," he told the Associated Press.

He stretched to play "Terry" in the cinematic classic "The Cannonball Run," but the movie opportunities he sought never materialized. He took small TV roles here and there, dabbled with country music and starred as a NFL analyst before agreeing to co-star in the movie "Failure to Launch" last year with the likes of Matthew McConaughey, Sarah Jessica Parker and Kathy Bates.

Bradshaw was a hit, although some moviegoers will never fully recover from seeing him naked on the big screen.

7) Rick Fox

If Spike Lee raves about Fox's work in "Oz," who are we to argue? This former NBA forward gained a foothold in Hollywood during his Lakers days and has built a nice acting career.

Rick Fox went from a champion basketball player to a pretty good actor. (Noah Graham/NBAE / Getty Images)

He had a small role in "He Got Game," among other movies, and recently began a recurring role on "One Tree Hill" on Fox. He even lives the Hollywood lifestyle, with a high-profile divorce (Vanessa Williams!) and an A-list of new friends (Sharon Stone! Kristin Davis!) keeping the tabloid reporters busy.

8) Merlin Olsen

So how does a member of the Los Angeles Rams' "Fearsome Foursome" end up selling flowers for FTP and starring in such family fare as "Little House on the Prairie" and "Father Murphy"?

As the sports pages said, he was a gentle giant. Olsen earned a master's degree in economics. He made a smooth transition from the playing field to the broadcast booth. His easy, articulate delivery led him to commercial opportunities and those acting gigs.

And Olsen has lots of inspirational quotes out there, just waiting to be made into a poster. Like this one: "Perseverance isn't just the willingness to work hard. It's that, plus the willingness to be stubborn about your own belief in yourself."

9) Jim Brown

He left the Cleveland Browns for Tinseltown in his athletic prime and he scored right away with "The Dirty Dozen." Brown has acted steadily since 1964, earning credits in a diverse range of TV shows ("T.J. Hooker") and movies ("I'm Gonna Git You Sucka"). Arguably his best effort came more recently, as Montezuma Monroe in "Any Given Sunday."

"Though I never pursued my film career with excessive vigor, at first I was doing nicely," he once told Ebony. "My first three or four years in the business, I made eight films. A handful even made some money. You're not supposed to talk about things you almost got in Hollywood, but I'm talking about a lot of things I'm not supposed to, so the hell with it: I was one of the finalists for a Best Supporting Actor nomination for my work in 'The Dirty Dozen'. I acted with some of the cream of Hollywood and I like to think I didn't embarrass anybody."

America wasn't quite ready for his hot love scenes with Raquel Welch in "100 Rifles" back in 1969 — but then again Brown has made a career out of provocation.

10) Fred Dryer (tie)

Sgt. Rick Hunter became one of the great TV detective characters of all time. Fred Dryer, another former Rams defensive lineman, clicked with co-star Stepfanie Kramer and created ratings magic in this role. "It's a good action series that's tailor-made for me at this stage in my career," he said in 1985.

Dryer has played a variety of other TV and movie roles over the years, but will always be remembered for his long-running success in "Hunter" and all its subsequent incarnations. (He was considered for the role of Sam Malone in "Cheers," but that role went to Ted Danson instead . . . and the rest is history.)

10) Bubba Smith (tie)

A serious actor he was not. The legendary NFL defensive end (primarily with the Baltimore Colts) played for laughs when he moved into show business. His deadpan Miller Light commercials ("easy-opening can") helped set a standard for future jock pitchmen.

He developed the character Moses Hightower for the amazing "Police Academy" franchise. Less memorable was the 1984 TV series "Blue Thunder" with fellow beer pitchman and small-role comedic actor Dick Butkus.

HONORABLE MENTION: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar ("Airplane"), O.J. Simpson ("Naked Gun" series), Lance Armstrong ("Dodgeball"), Kelly Slater ("Baywatch"), Cam Neely ("Dumb and Dumber"), Dan Marino ("Ace Ventura, Pet Detective"), Randall "Tex" Cobb ("Raising Arizona"), Lawrence Taylor ("Any Given Sunday"), Bernie Williams (jazz music), Wayman Tisdale (jazz music), Marty McSorley ("Con Air"), Julius Erving (The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh"), Howie Long ("Broken Arrow"), Andrew The Giant ("The Princess Bride"), George "The Animal" Steele ("Ed Wood") and Alex English ("Amazing Grace and Chuck").

 
 




Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: 100percentinjuryrate.blogspot.com

BASEBALL QUOTES

September '92 on Gary Sheffield's days in Milwaukee: "The Brewers brought out the hate in me. I was a crazy man. . . . I hated everything about the place. If the official scorer gave me an error I didn't think was an error, I'd say, 'OK, here's a real error,' and I'd throw the next ball into the stands on purpose.' "

On his hatred of Milwaukee: "Everything you asked for in Milwaukee you didn't get—Ask for good weather, you don't get it. Ask for a good playing surface, you don't get it. Ask for a first-class organization, you don't get it."

On his having two kids with two women by age 17: "That was part of my plan. I didn't want to be the typical athlete who's single all his career. I wanted the all-American family, and I did it the wrong way."

On carrying a gun (he also took one to school in eighth and ninth grade): "It ain't changed because I got in the league. It just made me get more of them."

Sheff, a born-again Christian, on teammate Shawn Green missing a game with the Dodgers because of Yom Kippur during a crucial pennant stretch: "Religion is an important thing as long as you worship the right God."

July '05 after punching a fan in the right-field stands at Fenway: "What did I do to be a villain?" Sheffield listened patiently as someone recounted the reasoning. "Well, I mean you can't look at it that way. I didn't initiate it. It's a situation where I showed restraint, and I moved on from there."

May '89 on Milwaukee pitchers who won't throw at opposing batters even though opposing pitchers kept throwing at him: "Only two, three pitchers have helped me out. The rest have been girls. They won't throw at anybody if you paid them. I've been thrown at in every park I've played in."

In June 2005 On whether he would participate in next year's World Baseball Classic: "My season is when I get paid. I'm not doing that...I'm not sacrificing my body or taking a chance on an injury for something that's made up. This isn't the Olympics. That's a big difference. This is something you made up."

On the '04 Red Sox: "They're a walking disaster. They act like they're tough, how they care so much about winning, but it's all a front. They're just a bunch of characters."

On his non-reaction to getting intentionally beaned by Boston's Curtis Leskanic in 2004: "I know Leskanic. His brother did my pool."

Explaining that a hitting slump in 2007 was mental: "I could have bad mechanics and get hits. I don't worry about that, because I'm not really a mechanically-sound guy. It's more between my ears."

June '05 after being rumored in a trade to the Mets for Mike Cameron: "It don't make a difference who it is. If I didn't choose to go there, things are gonna have to change about my whole situation, contract, years, everything. Other than that, you might as well not bother trading for me, cause you're gonna have a very unhappy player. You gonna inconvenience me, I'm gonna inconvenience every situation there is. I mean, the only reason I'm playing is 'cause I wanna play for the Yankees."

January '02 to the Associated Press: "Barry told me what I have to do to finish my career as a Hall of Famer. I want to end my career with the Atlanta Braves and be a Hall of Famer with the Atlanta Braves."

On "Game of Shadows," which spells out Bonds' alleged use of steroids: "I don't even know what the book says. I never read it."

From a 2006 interview with Newsday on who on the Yankees would look out for A-Rod now that he (Sheff) was gone: "Nobody. You all got to get ready. You all got to get ready. There's nobody."

In response to the Hartford Courant asking him in 2004 about whether winning an MVP award would mean anything to him: "No."

On his childhood: "I was hyper as a kid. My parents sent me to the hospital to get checked out. I was probably ADD (attention-deficit disorder). Still am."


On life in general: "Most people figured I'd be in jail. I've been proving people wrong my whole life."



Tuesday, January 29, 2008

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: rateitall.com

AUTO RACING QUOTES
 
"Nobody remembers who finished second but the guy who finished second."- Bobby Unser (0)    
"The crashes people remember, but drivers remember the near misses."- Mario Andretti (0)  
"The winner ain't the one with the fastest car, it's the one who refuses to lose."- Dale Earnhardt (0)
"In what other sport do you get a 15-second break every hour?" - Dale Earnhardt Sr. on the "drvers aren't athletes" debate. (0)  
"It don't mean s**t right now... Daddy's won here 10 times."- Dale Earnhardt Jr. (1)    
"I feel safer on a racetrack than I do on Houston's freeways."- A.J. Foyt (0)    
"To finish first, you must first finish."- Rick Mears (0)  
"You win some, lose some, and wreck some."- Dale Earnhardt Sr. (0)    
"If you don't cheat, you look like an idiot; if you cheat and don't get caught, you look like a hero; if you cheat and get caught, you look like a dope. Put me where I belong."- Darrell Waltrip (0)    
"They told me if I saw a red flag to stop, They didn't say anything about the checkered flag. I wondered where all the cars were and then as I was all along on the track, I noticed them all in the pits. They finally threw the red flag and I pulled i (0)  
"I love this kind of racing, (but) these guys sure change their personalities in race mode. They're like Doberman pinschers with a hand grenade in their mouths."- road racer Boris Said speaking of NEXTEL Cup drivers. (0)    
"Be born rich."- Janet Guthrie's advice on succeeding in racing (0)
 
 




Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: geocities.com

BASKETBALL QUOTES
Quotes from the NBA

Lenny Wilkens (Tor) on possibly winning the Central division title: "Don't get caught looking at the apple in case someone takes the ladder away."
.
Phil Jackson on Chicago's 111-72 win over Denver: "I thought the national anthem was the highlight out there."
.
Chicago coach Phil Jackson when asked if B.J. Armstrong had a beef with how he is used: "B.J. does not eat beef. B.J. is a vegetarian, so I don't think he has any beef at all."
.
Brad Miller on Indiana's inconsistency: "It's not going to be peaches and gravy all the time."
.
Sam Cassell on a 114-104 New Jersey loss to Atlanta: "We really didn't deserve to win. They didn't either. It should have been a tie."
.
"Karl Malone the person will not change, but the business person has done a 360-degree turn." - Karl Malone
.
Charles Barkley on teammate Cuttino Mobley: "He's instant offense, on both ends of the floor, I might add."
.
"The NBA's Washington Bullets will be changing their name to avoid being associated with an image of crime. So from now on, they're just going to be known as the Bullets." - Jay Leno
.
"Now there's a guy who can't even hit a free throw, but he just hit Shaq from 47 1/2 feet!" - Announcer after Dudley thumped Shaq with the ball from halfcourt.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: lib.niu.edu


"Notable Quotables" on Golf
COMPILED BY PETER M. MURPHY
Golf is a game that may generate more notable quotes than any other single sport. Authors wax poetic, humorists cant resist it and the sports own elite try to synthesize its lessons into a single thought. It is a game that can be defined by all those who play it in a variety of ways depending on the quality of their play on a given day. In the final analysis, golf is a game that is at once exhilarating and frustrating; a game, like life, that leaves each of us with a hint of hope for a better tomorrow. Students of the game may find inspiration in the following golfing wisdom.

Golf Defined
Golf Defined
"Golf is a game in which a ball one-and-a-half inches in diameter is placed on a ball 8, 000 miles in diameter. The object is to hit the small ball but not the larger."
-John Cunningham

""It's just good sportsmanship not to pick up lost balls while they are still rolling."
- Mark Twain

"Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20 percent of the time, you're the best."
- Jack Nicklaus


'NOTABLE QUOTABLES" ON GOLF

"It won't help to tell yourself, 'Don't hit it in the water.' Your mind will only hear 'water.'"
- Bob Rotella

"If the foursome following is pressing you, wave them through and then speed up."
- Deane Berman

"Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off."
- Bruce Lansky

"Hit the ball and when you find it, hit it again."
- Don January, on how to play golf

The Rich and Famous

"The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf."
- Bertrand Russell

"How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now."
- Dwight D. Elsenhower

"Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn't float too well."
- Craig Stadler

"Golf—makes liars out of honest men, cheats out of altruists, cowards out of brave men and fools out of everybody."
- Milton Gross

"If you pick up a golfer and hold it close to your ear, like a conch shell, and listen - you will hear an alibi."
- Fred Beck

Golf Wisdom
"Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee who has a deep suntan, a one iron in his bag, and squinty eyes."
- Dave Marr

"If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game would be played far better than it is."
- Horace Hutchinson

"The property score for a businessman golfer is 90. If he is better than that he is neglecting his business. If he's worse, he's neglecting his golf."
- St. Andrew's Rotary Member

"A professional will tell you the amount of flex you need in the shaft of your club. The more the flex, the more strength you will need to break the thing over your knees."
- Stephen Baker

"There are three ways of learning golf: by study, which is the most wearisome; by imitation, which is the most fallacious; and by experience, which is the most bitter."
- Robert Browning

"Water holes are sacrificial waters where you make a steady gift of your pride and high-priced balls."
- Tommy Bolt

The Course
"A good golf course makes you want to play so badly that you hardly have the time to change your shoes."
- Ben Crenshaw

"You don't go home and talk about the great tennis courts that you played, but you do talk about the golf courses you played."
- Hank Ketcham

"Always count your blessings. Be thankful you are able to be out on a beautiful course. Most people in the world don't have that opportunity."
- Fred Couples

Final Thoughts
"Regardless of what the tour pros think, golf is a rich and varied game, and what all of us awkward fools do on weekends is what golf is truly all about."
- Den Jenkins

"Sport is singularly able to give us peak experience where we feel completely one with the world and transcend all conflicts as we finally become our own potential."
- George A. Sheehan

"He enjoys that perfect peace, that peace beyond all understanding, which comes at its maximum only to the man who has given up golf."
- P.G.Wodehouse

 

 




Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: clipmarks.com

COMIC VIEWS ON STEROID USE IN BASEBALL
 
"President Bush believes Rafael Palmeiro. He said he considers Palmeiro a friend and tests or no tests, he believes him. Maybe Rafael Palmeiro is the one who told him there were weapons of mass destruction." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Congress investigating steroids. It's kind of ironic, isn't it? Ted Kennedy asking somebody how their head got so big." —Jay Leno

"Congress today conducted an under cover investigation of steroids in baseball. Their conclusion -- the Chicago Cubs are just months away from getting nuclear weapons." --Craig Ferguson

"Congress has asked several current and former baseball players to testify before them this week about the steroid scandal but only two players have said they'll show up. Apparently the others players don't have the balls." --Craig Ferguson

"McGwire refused to say whether he ever took steroids but I think he did because, as he was leaving, one of his tits fell out of his suit." --Bill Maher




Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: comedy-zone.net

 

"Baseball is the only game left for people. To play basketball, you have to be 7 feet 6 inches. To play football, you have to be the same width."
Bill Veeck.

"You know it's summertime at Candlestick when the fog rolls in, the wind kicks up, and you see the center fielder slicing open a caribou to survive the ninth inning."
Bob Sarlette.

"I don't love baseball. I don't love most of today's players. I don't love the owners. I do love, however, the baseball that is in the heads of baseball fans. I love the dreams of glory of 10-year-olds, the reminiscences of 70-year-olds. The greatest baseball arena is in our heads, what we bring to the games, to the telecasts, to reading newspaper reports."
Stan Isaacs.

"A critic once characterized baseball as six minutes of action crammed into two-and-one-half hours."
Ray Fitzgerald





Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: woopidoo.com

John Madden quotes Business Quotes by Author

John Madden Biography (John Earl Madden): NFL Coach, Entrepreneur & Sports Commentator
Famous for : being a member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame, being a Super Bowl winning NFL Coach, and for lending his name to numerous products that include the popular video game "Madden NFL"
Madden details : Born - April 10, 1936 Minnesota, USA / Lives - United States of America

Business Quotes by John Madden Business Quotes by Sports Commentator John Madden


I'm lucky. I'm the luckiest guy in the world. I never really had a job. I was a football player, then a football coach, then a football broadcaster. It's been my life. Pro football has been my life since 1967. I've enjoyed every part of it. Never once did it ever feel like work.
John Madden

They talk about how hard coaches work. They work 18, 20 hours a day. They sleep on a couch. They don't come home. You know, that's not the hard job. The hard job is a coach's wife, believe me. The job of the coach's wife, she has to be mother, father, driver, doctor, nurse, coach, everything, because the coach is out there working.
John Madden 

The only yardstick for success our society has is being a champion. No one remembers anything else.
John Madden

As I look back now on my coaching career, I think of my family, I think of the days that we spent together. I say this to coaches everywhere: If you ever have a chance to take your kids with you, take them. Don't miss that opportunity. Because when it's all over and done with, when you look back, those are going to be your fondest memories.
John Madden

Self-praise is for losers. Be a winner. Stand for something. Always have class, and be humble.
John Madden


Sports Commentator John Madden Quotations by the Sports Commentator John Madden
 
 




Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.

Monday, January 28, 2008

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: csmonitor.com

Classic baseball quotes

"When we played, World Series checks meant something. Now all they do is screw up your taxes."

– Dodger pitcher Don Drysdale

"If the World Series runs until election day, the networks will run the first one-half inning and project the winner."

– Lindsey Nelson, broadcaster

"We hit the ball right where they could show off their defensive ability."

– Baltimore manager Earl Weaver after the Orioles lost the 1969 World Series to the Mets






Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOOTES \ Source: post-gazette.com

 
'Sweet William: The Life of Billy Conn' by Andrew O'Toole'
 
New biography of Pittsburgh boxer Billy Conn a winner
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Joe Louis stands over his fallen foe in the 13th round, just before Billy Conn was counted out in the June 18, 1941 bout in the Polo Grounds, New York.

Boxing, the Sweet Science, has gone sour, and yet there is always the past. At a time when nobody knows who the heavyweight champion is -- or, rather, who the heavyweight champions are, except that they all seem to be Russians -- Muhammad Ali and Jack Johnson keep the social historians busy and two recent biographies of Billy Conn have appeared.

The latest by Andrew O'Toole, who wrote an earlier biography of Art Rooney, covers much the same ground as Paul F. Kennedy's "Billy Conn: The Pittsburgh Kid," but in greater, richer detail.

This revival of interest in Conn goes back to a lengthy and evocative 1985 Sports Illustrated story, "The Boxer and the Blonde," a paean by Frank Deford to Billy and his girl, Mary Louise Smith, and to Pittsburgh as it was in the summer before Pearl Harbor.

Subsequently there came an ESPN documentary and a Billy Conn Web site. The Web site of Harry Greb, the only Pittsburgh fighter whose magnetism was equal to Conn's, may well be more popular, but not since a work of doubtful authenticity called "Give Him to the Angels" went out of print more than half a century ago has any author been able to put Greb between book covers, although many have tried.

For cult figures of the sports-hero variety, there is usually a defining moment, as with Franco Harris (the Immaculate Reception) and Bill Mazeroski (the home run that won the 1960 World Series).

Conn's defining moment was the 13th round of his fight with heavyweight champion Joe Louis on June 18, 1941. From then on, for as long as he lived, he was asked the same question day after day.

Why did he decide, at the start of that round, to come down off his toes and slug it out with perhaps the deadliest puncher the fight game ever had known?

Louis weighed 200 pounds, Conn an almost frail-looking 169. But the way the fight was going, Conn couldn't lose. In the 11th and 12th rounds, Louis had seemed hurt and befuddled. Conn was too fast and elusive for him.

And now with three rounds to go, the one and only heavyweight championship was Conn's for the taking. So why did he stand still and slug?

His original spur-of-the-moment answer -- "What's the use of being Irish if you can't be dumb?" -- survives in folklore. Too late, he saw the folly of his notion that winning on points would not have been good enough, that he must knock Louis out.

Later in round 13, somebody took the 10 count all right, but it wasn't Joe.

Even so, Conn entered myth that night for his failed, spectacular effort, with many millions tuned in to the radio broadcast and 55,000 frenzied ticket buyers looking on in the Polo Grounds, where the New York Giants played baseball. As Deford wrote, this was the best fight there ever was, the best there ever would be.

It's the one thing people remember about Conn besides his good looks. Other than Ali, there was never a fighter as handsome. Warner Brothers asked him to play the 19th-century champion Gentleman Jim Corbett in a movie; he turned them down and they settled for Errol Flynn.

"Sweet William" deals mostly with the forgotten parts of the Conn story:

The eighth-grade dropout from East Liberty showing up at Johnny Ray's gym. A big-time main-event fighter at 19, beating past, current and future world champions. A champion himself (light-heavyweight division) at 21. Moving up to the heavyweights because that's where the money was.

O'Toole's only sources are ancient newspaper clippings (hardly anyone still alive ever saw Conn fight). There are quotes that don't sound much like Conn. His "biting wit" -- O'Toole's phrase -- never made the transition to print very easily, and some of the old-time sportswriters were known for their creativity.

Mary Louise helped O'Toole reconstruct the second most memorable fight of Billy's career -- the one with his father-in-law, Greenfield Jimmy Smith, at the christening party for the Conns' first-born son, Tim.

On this Sunday afternoon in 1942, Billy, who'd enlisted in the Army, was home on furlough. Greenfield Jimmy had vowed that no pug would ever marry his beautiful Mary Louise, and the young lovers' elopement -- he was 23, she was 18 -- continued to rankle.

The day of the baptism, Art Rooney, acting as peacemaker, got the feudists together in the kitchen of Jimmy's house. Jimmy said something inflammatory, and Billy went after him. Once again his judgment was flawed.

When the scuffling ended there were scratches all over Billy's face and the swift-striking left hand that had staggered Joe Louis was broken. Middle-aged Mr. Smith was unmarked.

Conn's injuries put off his return match with Louis for the Army relief fund. The fight was delayed until after the war, and by then Conn had lost his speed and his flair. Louis retained only his punch. It was more than adequate. He won in the eighth, by a knockout. Conn's zombie-like behavior at the weigh-in and his sluggishness in the ring were so perplexing that certain sportswriters said he'd been drugged.

Jimmy Smith, reconciled now with Conn, thought so, too. When Billy's son Tim brought up the subject years later, Billy just said, "Aw, forget it."

Another time, he said, "People think you're nuts to be a fighter, and they're right, but it's better than working in the mills."

"Sweet William" is part of a series called Sport and Society, published by the University of Illinois Press, but Conn, who died at 75 in 1993, was not a change agent like Ali and Jack Johnson.

Society formed him; during the Depression of the 1930s it made sense to be a fighter if you could get to the top, and Billy Conn did.

Late in life, he paid a price: pugilistica dementia. As no one else has, O'Toole writes extensively and revealingly about this, courtesy of the Conn family. Billy himself never sugar-coated anything. Mary Louise and their sons, Tim and Billy Jr., are no less forthright.





Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: sportingnews.com

 
Jan 20, 2008 02:11 PM  |  2042 views 
With the Super Bowl almost here, I want to welcome you to a Super Bowl MVP edition of "Where are They Now", with some Fun Facts along the way. Currently, the Super Bowl MVP winner is chosen by a panel of members of the media, and the fans. The media panel's ballots count for 80% of the votes, while the fans' ballots count for 20%. The fans may vote online during the game. Prior to Super Bowl XXXV, only the media panel selected the MVP. Here are some Super Bowl MVP Fun Facts: Chuck Howley (Super Bowl V MVP) is the only MVP winner from the losing team. Of the 42 Super Bowl MVPs, only 8 defensive players (2 of them co-MVPs) have won the recognition. Only once has a special team player (kick returner Desmond Howard) won the honor. Joe Montana holds the record for earning this honor the most times with three MVPs. If you want to read a great post on Montana check out Kohphares "UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL WITH JOE MONTANA". The Dallas Cowboys own the record for the most players to win the MVP with 7. Since Super Bowl XXV, the Super Bowl MVP winner is awarded the Pete Rozelle Trophy, named after the former commissioner of the NFL who served from 1960 to 1989. Currently, the award is sponsored by Cadillac and the winner is presented with a brand new Cadillac automobile of his choice. In previous years, the Super Bowl MVP was awarded a brand new Buick automobile and a watch. Only the Universities of Georgia can claim to have produced three Super Bowl MVPs. (Jake Scott (VII), Terrell Davis (XXXII), and Hines Ward (XL)), Super Bowl MVP's by position: 21 quarterbacks, 7 running backs, 5 wide receivers, 2 defensive ends, 2 linebackers, 2 safeties, 1 cornerback, 1 defensive tackle, 1 kick returner/punt returner. Now here are a few MVP's and "Where are They Now".


Leonard "Len" Dawson (age 72) Super Bowl IV, MVP: For the last 16 years, he's been a member of the Chiefs Radio Broadcast Team in addition to his duties as sports director for KMBC-TV in Kansas City. From 1977 to 2001, he served as the host of HBO's Inside the NFL. In 2006, Dawson was interviewed for the NFL Network documentary America's Game: The Super Bowl Champions the 1969 Kansas City Chiefs season. Len is active in the community and focuses much of his energy on charity work. He has raised money for countless charitable organizations, especially those that help needy children. Len and wife Jacqueline have two grown children. He and his family live in Kansas City. Fun Fact: As a sophomore in 1954, Dawson put together an outstanding first season as the NCAA's leader in pass efficiency, while also playing defense and serving as the Boilermaker kicker.



Roger Staubach (age 65) Super Bowl VI, MVP: In 1977, Staubach capitalized on his football fame and started a commercial real estate business, The Staubach Company headquartered in Dallas which has been his primary endeavor since retirement from football. On June 20, 2007, Staubach announced he would step down as chief executive of the multi-billion dollar real estate company he started 30 years earlier. Staubach is a part owner in Hall of Fame Racing, a NASCAR Nextel Cup team, which began racing in the 2006 season. In the early 1980s, Staubach worked for a short time as a color commentator for CBS Sports. Staubach is now building a residence in the Preston Hollow neighborhood of north Dallas. Fun Fact: Know as "Captain Comeback" for his many fourth quarter heroics, Staubach had an ability for leading scoring drives which would lead the Cowboys to improbable victories. He led his team to twenty-three come-from-behind victories in the fourth quarter, with 17 of these coming in the last two minutes.



Lawrence "Larry" Csonka (age 61) Super Bowl VIII, MVP: Csonka worked for the United States Football League (USFL) Jacksonville Bulls in the mid-1980s, first as director of scouting and then as General Manager. He was also an analyst on the popular syndicated show American Gladiators from 1990-1993. Csonka currently resides in Anchorage, Alaska. He also maintains a farm in Lisbon, Ohio and operates Goodrich Seafood House in Oak Hill, Florida where guides depart daily with clients fishing the famous Mosquito Lagoon. Larry continues to work in the "public eye" as host and producer of an outdoor adventure program, "NAPA's North to Alaska" which airs on Versus (formerly Outdoor Life Network) Saturdays at 12:30 EST. This program showcases Larry's experience as a fisherman and hunter and his enthusiasm for outdoor sports and conservation. In early September, 2005, Csonka and five others were returning by boat to the village of Nikolski on Umnak Island in Alaska's Aleutian's after filming a reindeer hunt on the island for Csonka's TV show. The boat was caught in a severe storm and nearly capsized. They rode out the storm for 10 hours before a Coast Guard helicopter could reach them and rescue them one-by-one in a basket. In 2006, Csonka pled guilty and paid a small fine for filming on National Forest land in Alaska and failing to obtain the required special use permit for production of his cable show. Csonka currently appears in television commercials for the Alaska Spine Institute, an Anchorage based physical rehabilation center. Csonka also travels the country visiting various clubs and corporations as a Sports Humor/Motivational Speaker, operating within his own company known as Csonka Promotions, Inc. His speeches are laced with humor and dramatic personal experiences, and have been well received by some of the nation's top companies. Fun Fact: Dolphins' offensive line coach Monte Clark was asked about Csonka's bruising running style, and responded with this great quote. "When Csonka goes on safari, the lions roll up their windows."



Lynn Curtis Swann (age 55) Super Bowl X, MVP: Swann was a football and sports broadcaster for ABC Sports from 1976 to 2005 and briefly hosted the television game show To Tell the Truth, on which he had previously appeared as a panelist, on NBC from 1990 to 1991.His fourteen-week run as emcee ended, and he was replaced by Alex Trebek. He also made a cameo appearance on Mister Roger's Neighborhood. Swann is the former Chairman of the United States President's Council on Physical Fitness and Sports and serves as a director on the boards of HJ Heinz Co. and Wyndham International. Swann, who resides in the Pittsburgh suburb of Sewickley Heights, Pennsylvania, indicated that he was considering seeking the Republican nomination for Governor of Pennsylvania in the 2006 election. On February 23, 2005, Swann filed papers with the state elections board stating his intention to run. On the same day he formed a fundraising committee called Team 88 after his Steeler jersey number. On January 4, 2006 Swann formally declared his candidacy for Governor of Pennsylvania. Swann's opponents in the Republican primary scheduled for May 16, 2006 had initially included Jim Panyard, Pennsylvania State Senator Jeff Piccola, and former Pennsylvania Lt. Governor William W. Scranton, III. After Swann received the endorsement of the Republican state committee on February 11, 2006, all three opponents quit the race, leaving Swann as the only Republican to have filed by the deadline of March 7, 2006. In the end, Swann lost the election with 40% of the vote to incumbent Ed Rendell's 60%. Fun Fact: In Super Bowl X, Swann recorded four catches for a Super Bowl record 161 yards and a touchdown in the game, assisting the Steelers to a 21-17 win and becoming the first wide receiver to earn Super Bowl MVP honors.



Douglas "Doug" Williams (age 52) Super Bowl XII, MVP: After retiring from the NFL, Williams excelled on the high school level as head coach and athletic director at Point Coupee High School in New Roads, Louisiana in 1991. In 1993, he was head coach at Northeast High School in his hometown of Zachary, La., where he guided the team to a 13-1 record and the state semifinals. In 1995, he was offensive coordinator for the Scottish Claymores of the World League of American Football. Williams started off his college head coaching career at Morehouse College in 1997. Williams became the head football coach at Grambling State University in 1998, succeeding the legendary Eddie Robinson. He led the Tigers to 3 consecutive Southwestern Athletic Conference titles from 2000-2002, he then left to join the Tampa Bay Buccaneers as a personnel executive. His son Adrian is a accomplished basketball player, who currently plays for Brown. Fun Fact: In Super Bowl XII, Williams engineered a 42-10 rout, in which the Redskins set an NFL record by scoring five touchdowns in the second quarter. Williams completed 18 of 29 passes for 340 yards, with four TD passes, and was named Super Bowl MVP.

 









Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.