FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: usatoday.com

JIM LEYLAND, MANAGER, DETROIT TIGERS (with friend)

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BASEBALL QUOTES

from USATODAY'S Quotes to Note

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"This is the best Father's Day gift you could ever imagine." — Orioles RHP Dennis Sarfate on his daughter Kinsley, who was born at 7:48 a.m. Sunday (Father's Day).

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"In my opinion, it is a bunch of bull what they did. All I got to say is what comes around goes around. Payback is a (bugger). In my opinion, and the way I feel right now, this thing isn't all settled and done." — RHP Jonathan Papelbon, still miffed about the brawl with the Tampa Bay Rays several weeks ago.

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"It was like a pinball machine out there. Balls flying all over the place." — RHP Paul Byrd, after giving up six runs on six hits in three innings in an 8-5 loss to Minnesota June 11.

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"It's not going to be forever. But I never met a manager yet who had a regular player playing well that he doesn't play. It doesn't matter what position it's at. If your center fielder is playing real good, you play him every day. If you think he's tired and struggling, you give him some time now and then. That's the way it is for any player." — Manager Jim Leyland, on how the alternating of Ivan Rodriguez and Brandon Inge at catcher is working out.

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"I don't know if it was a laugher. I think it was a breath of fresh air," — Royals C John Buck, who hit a three-run HR in a 12-3 victory Saturday (June 14) at Arizona.

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"You're opening the doors for everything else. You got instant replay, next year it'll be something else. They're going to have robots playing the game one day, you watch." — Angels OF Torii Hunter, on reports that MLB will start using instant replay to make difficult home run calls.

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"I didn't want to send him up there again and make my hitters feel even worse." — Twins manager Ron Gardenhire, on pinch-hitting for RHP Kevin Slowey after the starting pitcher became the first Twin since Jim Kaat in 1971 to collect two hits, two RBIs and a win in the same game.

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"That's the manager's worst nightmare — pitchers on the basepaths." — Joe Girardi, after Chien-Ming Wang limped off the field after running the bases in an interleague game at Houston.

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"I appreciate him wanting to get the bunt down and everything, but we didn't want him bunting then. We want him swinging the bat." — Manager John McLaren, on SS Yuniesky Betancourt striking out on a 3-2 bunt Saturday with men on first and second and none out.

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"He's kind of like a recovering emotionalist." — Manager Joe Maddon, on RHP Matt Garza working to keep his emotions in check.

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"It will be on SportsCenter. You know if I do something, it will be on SportsCenter." — OF Milton Bradley, on why he led a charge of six Rangers into a tarp-sliding spree during a rain delay at Shea Stadium. The sliding spree came just three days after Bradley made national headlines for coming to the press box to discuss how he was described with Kansas City broadcaster Ryan Lefebvre.

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"We're not playing good enough to win. We play good enough to stay close but not good enough to win. We're not getting that big hit or big shutdown (inning), whatever it is. We're just not good enough right now, that's all there is to it." — Jays manager John Gibbons, after Sunday's 7-4 loss to the Cubs left them with a 3-6 record on the homestand.

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Image: redstatebluestate.mlblogs.com

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: blogs.chicagoreader.com

SPORTS QUOTES
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From the Cubs' Lou Piniella, who when asked about the club's offensive woes said, "Let's talk about some bikinis on the beach or surfers on La Jolla."
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The White Sox' Ozzie Guillen is no piker in that regard, and offered this after the Sox' loss Monday night: "It's the same game over and over. It's like watching ESPN News after 11 o'clock at night, the same thing over and over for 24 hours."
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Favorite sports line of the year so far came from none other than tennis's Maria Sharapova at the French Open. When fans booed her after she went ahead and served an ace when an early-round opponent tried to signal for a timeout, Sharapova ignored them and went on to win, saying afterward, "It's tough playing tennis and being Mother Teresa at the same time."

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: dolfan-uk.co.uk

MIAMI DOLPHINS CHEERLEADERS

Image: miamidolphins.com

FOOTBALL QUOTES

We had a defense that would out-hit you, outplay you and a defense that would outthink you. (Nick Buoniconti in his HoF Induction Speech)


"If I had a choice, I'd sooner go one on one with a grizzly bear" (Packer's MacArthur Lane, on facing Dick Butkus)


"I like to hit people. But, I don't like to hurt people." (Mike Singletary)

What's the difference between a 3-week-old puppy and a sportswriter? In 6 weeks, the puppy will stop whining. (Mike Ditka)

We have a strange and wonderful relationship - he's strange and I'm wonderful. (Mike Ditka)

“Success isn't permanent and failure isn't fatal” (Mike Ditka)

“If God had wanted man to play soccer, He wouldn't have given us arms” (Mike Ditka)

“You're never a loser until you quit trying.” (Mike Ditka)

"Excuses are like rear ends. Everybody has one and they stink." (Tom Curle)


I said, "Gee Mom, I'm going to be the head coach of the New York Giants." And she said to me, "When are you going to get a real job like your brother the banker?" (Bill Parcells)

“No matter how much you've won, no matter how many games, no matter how many championships, no matter how many Super Bowls, you're not winning now, so you stink.” (Bill Parcells)


“Success is never final, but failure can be.” (Bill Parcells)


All the backs in the history of this game are the same when there isn't any hole to run through. (Bill Parcells)


It’s a very easy thing to say, ‘Go get a backup quarterback.’ Now tell me where to get them. You just can’t dial them up. (Bill Parcells)

Knowledge is confidence. And confidence lets you play fast. (Bill Parcells)

My entire life has been spent thinking about this game. That's pretty narrow . . . I don't view myself as a person who's well-versed in very many subjects. I'm not proud of that (Bill Parcells)


When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you don't know. (Bill Parcells)


You can only really yell at the players you trust. (Bill Parcells)

The only players I hurt with my words are the ones who have an inflated opinion of their ability. I can't worry about that. (Bill Parcells)


"That Jim Brown. He says he isn't Superman. What he really means is that Superman isn't Jimmy Brown!" (An NFL player who played against Jim Brown)

"Maybe a good rule in life is never become too important to do your own laundry."(Barry Sanders)

BROSNAHAN - "Would it be fair to say you turned around the Raiders in the 1960s?" DAVIS - "You're being too kind to me." BROSNAHAN - "It won't last. Let's enjoy the moment." (Jim Brosnahan,City of Oakland defense attorney to Al Davis)

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: walkaboutmag.com

GUTS to GLORY
Bev LaVeck Is Still Racewalking After 25 Years and Winning
By Sherry Brosnahan
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When you watch Bev LaVeck racewalk, with a style that seems as effortless as it is efficient, you might assume she was a natural. And you’d be wrong. “I wasn’t one of those fortunate people who take to racewalking naturally,” she says.
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Bev got her start in racewalking through running. “I got caught up in the running boom of the 1970s,” she says. “And having an irritatingly intact sense of endurance, I loved marathons.” Several marathons and stress fractures later, Bev turned to racewalking to extend her running life.
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“In Seattle, there were racewalking clinics, articles, and all-comers events, so it was relatively easy to find out about racewalking,” she recalls. “I liked it right away, but it took a while for me to learn.” She says it was advantageous that she began racewalking in the month of January when nobody could see her training in the dark.
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Now a resident of tiny Mazama, WA, Bev laughs as she describes her first local race as a racewalker in 1980 (“I beat the only other walker, and he said I was cheating”) and her first out-of-state race shortly thereafter (“We did everything wrong, went out too fast, had a very embarrassing day”). She was disqualified regularly, but she persevered. “I was pretty good at straight legged running, but after a couple of years I became flexible enough in the right places to racewalk properly.”
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The rest, as they say, is history.

By 1983, Bev had mastered the technique enough to rack up world track “bests” at 100 kilometers and 100 miles and she began medalling at national championships in the shorter distances. Today Bev, now 68, holds 15 U.S. masters for racewalking for distances from 3k to 50k.
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Bev’s dedication to the sport extended beyond competition. She was one of the first racewalking judges to make IAFF Number One Panel. She served as U.S. Masters Racewalking Coordinator, kept U.S. and World Masters records, and devised Standards of Excellence for National Masters News. In honor of her contributions as an administrator and an athlete, Bev was inducted into the U.S.A. Track and Field Masters Hall of Fame in 1996. “There was so much to do to get racewalking into its present prominence in masters athletics, especially women’s racewalking,” she explains. “I’m proud to have helped.”
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For Bev, racewalking has been more than records and trophies: it’s part of a healthy lifestyle. “Walking kept me fit for tennis and hiking with my husband Jerry,” she says. And it helped her through a very difficult time after Jerry died suddenly. “I’m not sure how I managed to get out and walk after that, but I think I simply knew I had to,” she says. “It was very hard, but I had friends in the area who wanted me to come out and walk. If I hadn’t walked, I would have just sat in the house by myself, and I knew that wouldn’t be good.”
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According to Bev, enduring friendship is one of the best things about racewalking. “When I was starting out in the 1980s, I had the encouragement and support of women who were competitive and knowledgeable but very generous,” she says. “There was a known genealogy — everyone knew who trained with whom — and I had racewalking friends all up and down the West Coast.”
The most annoying part of racewalking for Bev? Slugs. “In the Portland to Coast Relay, there’s an early morning segment and there are slugs everywhere,” she says. “It’s barely light and you can’t see them so you slip.” Ick!
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With a competitive career dating back 25 years, Bev has no shortage of amusing stories to tell. Like the time she was the only racewalker in a women’s road race, in an area where racewalking wasn’t exactly a run-of-the-mill sport. “The runners did their best to ignore me as I warmed up,” she says. “They politely averted their eyes, probably because I looked like I had an unusual disability and they didn’t want to stare. Maybe they didn’t want to have to show me how to do it right.”
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Bev, who has been very fortunate in avoiding racewalking injuries, is also a proponent of cross-training. “I think we do best mixing our activity among varied pursuits,” she says. And not simply ambulatory activities, but weights, swimming, kayaking, splitting wood — “all kinds of stuff.” And to prevent injury she recommends seeing a racewalk-knowledgeable physical therapist early on if your back and hip joints begin to hurt — before there’s a problem.”
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“And above all else, have fun!” she advises. “It’s all about fun — for life!”