SPORTS QUOTES \ CLASSIC COMEDY VIDEOES
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Post presents famous comedians with a sports-related
attribute and a non-sports-related comic video for each.
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Comedian #1: Lucille Ball
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Click here to view ===> GOLF ON I LOVE LUCY SHOW
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Source: tv.com
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Click here to view ===> COMIC VIDEO \ LUCY AND HARPO
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Source: youtube.com
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Comedian #2: Groucho Marx
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In a benefit baseball game in the late 1940's, Groucho Marx managed
the Comics baseball team and told the first batter Jack Benny to hit
a home run.
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When Benny struck out, Marx glared at him and said, "If you're not
going to do what I tell you, what's the use of my being the manager?"
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Source: Baseball Digest, Oct. 1953.
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Click here to view ===> COMIC VIDEO \ CABIN SCENE
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Source: youtube.com
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Comedian #3: Jack Benny
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See quote for comedian #2 for the quote for comedian #3.
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Click here to view ===> COMIC VIDEO \ AIRPORT
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Source: youtube.com
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Comedians #4 and #5: Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy
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Should Married Men Go Home? (1928) (Silent movie synopsis)
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When Laurel visits Hardy at home, hi-jinx occur and the Mrs. orders them out. They go to a golf course where they try to impress two young ladies and wind up in a mud-slinging fight with other golfers.
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Source: imdb.com
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Click here to view ===> COMIC VIDEO \ LAUREL AND HARDY DANCE TO FUNK MUSIC
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Source: youtube.com
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Sunday, August 15, 2010
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: golfdigest.com
Image: dvdcorral.com
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GOLF TRIVIA \ QUOTES
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60 Most Famous Golfers
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W.C. Fields 1880-1946.
The misanthropic comedian, actor and writer lived next to Lakeside Golf Club, where he regularly broke 90 playing with his pal Oliver Hardy, drank heavily and provided entertainment for members by chasing ducks off his lawn in his pajamas.
Golf featured in many of his movies. "The Golf Specialist" was based on an earlier vaudeville act, and in "The Big Broadcast of 1938" -- Bob Hope's debut -- Fields tries to break the speed record for a round of golf using a motor scooter.
In a 1972 Golf Digest article, Lester A. Weinrott recalled his "18-martini round with W.C. Fields" in 1932: "The first six holes are a phantasmagoria in my memory. I remember much laughter at what Mr. Fields said and did. I remember with what artistry he juggled two, three, then four golf balls. I recall that he did wonderful tricks with a golf club. I remember that he won all the side bets. Mostly I remember many refills from one of the martini bottles. I had the remaining good sense to pour mine, or most of mine, onto the grass."
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Click here to view ===> 60 FAMOUS GOLFERS
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source:collegeathleticsclips.com
SPORTS QUOTES
Web site presents quotes on college athletics from the management perspective.
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COACH EXITS BADLY …
“Tim Floyd submitted his resignation Tuesday and AD Mike Garrett accepted it so fast he probably got a paper cut snapping it out of the fax machine.” . . . “Anyone who could follow a bouncing ball understood USC basketball has been over for several weeks now, and it's going to be over for several years.” …
Chris Dufresne, Los Angeles Times columnist, commenting on Southern Cal basketball coach Tim Floyd’s inevitable departure. … Los Angeles Times, 6-10-09
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DUAL-TASKING / DOUBLE SALARY …
“If the guy can walk and chew gum, and he's still at the school, he'll double his salary."
… Andy Fellingham, executive director of InterCollegiate Athletics Consulting, commenting on the sometimes laughably attainable financial incentives that are part of the compensation package for big-time college coaches.
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Click here to view ===> COLLEGE ATHLETIC QUOTES (7 PAGES)
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Web site presents quotes on college athletics from the management perspective.
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COACH EXITS BADLY …
“Tim Floyd submitted his resignation Tuesday and AD Mike Garrett accepted it so fast he probably got a paper cut snapping it out of the fax machine.” . . . “Anyone who could follow a bouncing ball understood USC basketball has been over for several weeks now, and it's going to be over for several years.” …
Chris Dufresne, Los Angeles Times columnist, commenting on Southern Cal basketball coach Tim Floyd’s inevitable departure. … Los Angeles Times, 6-10-09
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DUAL-TASKING / DOUBLE SALARY …
“If the guy can walk and chew gum, and he's still at the school, he'll double his salary."
… Andy Fellingham, executive director of InterCollegiate Athletics Consulting, commenting on the sometimes laughably attainable financial incentives that are part of the compensation package for big-time college coaches.
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Click here to view ===> COLLEGE ATHLETIC QUOTES (7 PAGES)
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: usatoday.com
OLYMPICS \ SWIMMING \ RUNNING QUOTES \ TRIVIA
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Comparing the Olympics' brightest stars: Phelps and Bolt (2008 Olympics)
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Click here to view ===> PHELPS VS. BOLT COMPARISON
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Comparing the Olympics' brightest stars: Phelps and Bolt (2008 Olympics)
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Click here to view ===> PHELPS VS. BOLT COMPARISON
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: fencingsucks.com
Image: 2.bp.blogspot.com
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FENCING POEM \ HUMOR
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Casey on the Strip
The outlook wasn't brilliant for the foil squad that night;
The score stood seven bouts to five, with three more left to fight,
And after Cooney's body cord had snapped - and so he lost -
The third-to-last opponent to the strip had calmly crossed.
The fifty people watching were enthralled in thick suspense.
They thought, "If only now were mighty Casey's turn to fence,
He'd win the bout - he's beat this man two times before, or three,
And Flynn can fence the last man, who is even worse than he."
But Flynn preceded Casey, as did also Jimmy Black,
And the former never parried and the next could not attack.
There was little chance that they'd win, so in spite of Casey's tricks,
The tournament would still be lost by nine bouts to their six.
But Flynn let fly a mighty fleche with feats of daring-do,
And Jimmy Black, the much despised, won by five to two,
And when the lights stopped flashing, all the audience was awed,
For now the score was tied, with seven bouts to either squad.
Then from the fifty people there arose a lusty yell:
It rumbled through the valley and it rattled in the dell:
The epees and the sabres joined this show of fellowship,
For Casey, mighty Casey, was advancing to the strip.
There was ease in Casey's manner as he stepped behind the line;
They gently tested weapons, and his smile was benign,
And when his hand closed, tightening, around his pistol-grip,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt 'twas Casey on the strip.
One hundred eyes were waiting for the battle to commence.
The two saluted graciously and heard a "Ready, fence!"
Then Casey lunged like lightening, the machine one light gave out,
And Casey very soon amassed four touches in the bout.
Now the opponent's foil plunged at Casey through the air,
And Casey stood a-watching it in haughty grandeur there.
Unparried, it impacted his lamé's metallic weft.
"That's not my style," said Casey. The director said, "touch left."
From the fifty watching people, there went up a muffled roar
Like the beating of the storm-waves on a stern and distant shore.
"Test weapons once again!" one cried. "There must be something wrong!"
And there might have been a riot had not Casey calmed the throng.
Between director and the crowd did Casey intercede,
He stilled the rising tumult, and he bade the bout proceed.
So three more times against him his opponent's weapon fell,
And Casey thrice ignored it. The director said, "La Belle."
"Fraud!" cried the maddened fifty, and the echo answered, "Fraud!"
But one scornful look from Casey and the audience was awed.
His face was stern behind his mask; they saw his muscles strain,
And knew that Casey would not let himself be hit again.
His face is clenched in hate as he salutes and stands en garde.
The director calls out, "Ready, fence!" and Casey's eyes are hard.
Forth comes the other foil like a gleaming metal ghost,
And now the air is shattered by his parry and riposte!
Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright,
And somewhere birds are singing, and somewhere hearts are light.
And somewhere men are laughing, and little children play,
But there's no joy on the foil squad since Casey's mal parre.
-------------------------
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by Aaron J. Dinkin (with apologies to Ernest L. Thayer)
.
====================
Casey on the Strip
The outlook wasn't brilliant for the foil squad that night;
The score stood seven bouts to five, with three more left to fight,
And after Cooney's body cord had snapped - and so he lost -
The third-to-last opponent to the strip had calmly crossed.
The fifty people watching were enthralled in thick suspense.
They thought, "If only now were mighty Casey's turn to fence,
He'd win the bout - he's beat this man two times before, or three,
And Flynn can fence the last man, who is even worse than he."
But Flynn preceded Casey, as did also Jimmy Black,
And the former never parried and the next could not attack.
There was little chance that they'd win, so in spite of Casey's tricks,
The tournament would still be lost by nine bouts to their six.
But Flynn let fly a mighty fleche with feats of daring-do,
And Jimmy Black, the much despised, won by five to two,
And when the lights stopped flashing, all the audience was awed,
For now the score was tied, with seven bouts to either squad.
Then from the fifty people there arose a lusty yell:
It rumbled through the valley and it rattled in the dell:
The epees and the sabres joined this show of fellowship,
For Casey, mighty Casey, was advancing to the strip.
There was ease in Casey's manner as he stepped behind the line;
They gently tested weapons, and his smile was benign,
And when his hand closed, tightening, around his pistol-grip,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt 'twas Casey on the strip.
One hundred eyes were waiting for the battle to commence.
The two saluted graciously and heard a "Ready, fence!"
Then Casey lunged like lightening, the machine one light gave out,
And Casey very soon amassed four touches in the bout.
Now the opponent's foil plunged at Casey through the air,
And Casey stood a-watching it in haughty grandeur there.
Unparried, it impacted his lamé's metallic weft.
"That's not my style," said Casey. The director said, "touch left."
From the fifty watching people, there went up a muffled roar
Like the beating of the storm-waves on a stern and distant shore.
"Test weapons once again!" one cried. "There must be something wrong!"
And there might have been a riot had not Casey calmed the throng.
Between director and the crowd did Casey intercede,
He stilled the rising tumult, and he bade the bout proceed.
So three more times against him his opponent's weapon fell,
And Casey thrice ignored it. The director said, "La Belle."
"Fraud!" cried the maddened fifty, and the echo answered, "Fraud!"
But one scornful look from Casey and the audience was awed.
His face was stern behind his mask; they saw his muscles strain,
And knew that Casey would not let himself be hit again.
His face is clenched in hate as he salutes and stands en garde.
The director calls out, "Ready, fence!" and Casey's eyes are hard.
Forth comes the other foil like a gleaming metal ghost,
And now the air is shattered by his parry and riposte!
Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright,
And somewhere birds are singing, and somewhere hearts are light.
And somewhere men are laughing, and little children play,
But there's no joy on the foil squad since Casey's mal parre.
-------------------------
.
by Aaron J. Dinkin (with apologies to Ernest L. Thayer)
.
====================
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: rugbyrugby.com
Image: img.hotmoviesale.com.
RUGBY QUOTES
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"Ballroom dancing is a contact sport. Rugby is a collision sport."
- Bulls coach Heyneke Meyer
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"Rugby is a game for big buggers. if you're not a big bugger, you get hurt. I wasn't a big bugger but i was a fast bugger and therefore I avoided the big buggers."
- Spike Milligan
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"Good big blokes are better than good little blokes. Then again, good little blokes are better than dud big blokes. And dud big blokes should play something other than Rugby"
- Bob Dwyer, former Wallabies Coach.
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"I'm still an amateur, of course, but I became rugby's first millionaire five years ago."
- David Campese (1991)
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Click here to view ===> RUGBY QUOTES
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: youtube.com
Image: 1.bp.blogspot.com
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HUNTING HUMOR
Richard Pryor presents his take on deer hunting.
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Click here to view ===> COMEDY STAND UP ABOUT DEER HUNTING
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