FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: medawarcorner.wordpress.com

TENNIS HUMOR
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The Tennis Player’s Prayer
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Please don’t let me be so nervous
When I toss the ball for service.
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Give me speed and strength unhaulting,
Aces and no double-faulting.
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Instill in me the skill and dash
Of Agassiie, Williams, Roddick and Ashe.
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When a high lob starts to fall,
Must I always miss the ball?
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Lord, I know you could, I’m sure,
Find me a Tennis Elbow cure.
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With the guidance from above,
Never let me fall in ‘love.’
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And, Lord, while on matters of this sort
Please let me find an open court!!
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: bodybydesignonline.com

TRACK AND FIELD QUOTES
Quotes about Running
July 17, 2008
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I’m never going to run this again. Grete Waitz after the first of nine NYC Marathons
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Pressure is nothing more than the shadow of great opportunity. Michael Johnson
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I started running in high school. I found out if you run fast then you can get girls. Kim Collins
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To be number one, you have to train like you're number two. Maurice Greene
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When the gun shoots, you got to go. Ato Boldon
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I became a great runner because if you’re a kid in Leeds and your name is Sebastian you’ve got to become a great runner. Sebastian Coe
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I was pushed by myself because I have my own rule, and that is that every day I run faster, and try harder. Wilson Kipketer after being asked is the $50,000 prize on offer tempted him to break the world record.
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The decathlon is nine Mickey Mouse events and the 1500 metres. Steve Ovett
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World records are only borrowed. Sebastian Coe
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If a man coaches himself, then he has only himself to blame when he is beaten. Roger Bannister
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The will to win means nothing if you haven’t the will to prepare. Juma Ikangaa
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If I am still standing at the end of the race, hit me with a board and knock me down, because that means I didn’t run hard enough. Steve Jones
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Learn to run when feeling the pain: then push harder. William Sigei
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We are different, in essence, from other men. If you want to win something, run 100 meters. If you want to experience something, run a marathon. Emil Zatopek
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Running is a lot like life. Only 10 percent of it is exciting. 90 percent of it is slog and drudge. David Bedford
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School cross country runs started because the rugby pitches were flooded. There was an alternative: extra studying. This meant there were plenty of runners on sports afternoons. Gordon Pirie
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I prefer to remain in blissful ignorance of the opposition. That way I’m not frightened by anyone’s reputation. Ian Thompson
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I ran for myself, not Finland. Paavo Nurmi
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The only tactics I admire are do-or-die. Herb Elliot
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First is first, and second is nowhere. Ian Stewart
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Mind is everything: muscle–pieces of rubber. All that I am, I am because of my mind. Paavo Nurmi
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Hills are speedwork in disguise. Frank Shorter
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: timelessquotes.com

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AMERICAN FOOTBALL QUOTES
Quotes by Lou Holtz
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If you burn your neighbors house down, it doesn't make your house look any better.
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A lifetime contract for a coach means if you're ahead in the third quarter and moving the ball, they can't fire you.
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Coaching is nothing more than eliminating mistakes before you get fired.
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It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it.
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There's nothing is this world more instinctively abhorrent to me than finding myself in agreement with my fellow-humans.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: timelessquotes.com

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BASEBALL QUOTES
Quotes by Sparky Anderson
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Me carrying a briefcase is like a hotdog wearing earrings.
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A baseball manager is a necessary evil.
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Casey knew his baseball. He only made it look like he was fooling around. He knew every move that was ever invented and some that we haven't even caught on to yet.
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I don't want to embarrass any other catcher by comparing him to Johnny Bench.
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If I ever find a pitcher who has heat, a good curve, and a slider, I might seriously consider marrying him, or at least proposing.
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If I hear Bowie Kuhn say just once more he's doing something for the betterment of baseball, I'm going to throw-up.
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It's a terrible thing to have to tell your fans, who have waited like Detroit's have, that their team won't win it this year. But it's better than lying to them.
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My idea of managing is giving the ball to Tom Seaver and sitting down and watching him work.
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Players have two things to do. Play and keep their mouths shut.
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The great thing about baseball is when you're done, you'll only tell your grandchildren the good things. If they ask me about 1989, I'll tell them I had amnesia.
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We're the best team in baseball, but not by much.
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You give us the pitching some of these clubs have and no one could touch us, but God has a way of not arranging that, because it's not as much fun.
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: timelessquotes.com

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BASEBALL QUOTES
Quotes by Whitey Herzog
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I'm not buddy-buddy with the players. If they need a buddy, let them buy a dog.
Whitey Herzog
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Baseball has been good to me since I quit trying to play it.
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Some people asked me if I would be interested in managing the A's. I said a definite no thank you. At night, that place is a graveyard with lights.
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The only way to make money as a manager is to win in one place, get fired and hired somewhere else.
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We need just two players to be a contender. Just Babe Ruth and Sandy Koufax.
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We need three kinds of pitching: left handed, right handed, and relief.
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