FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: NBC newscast

HOCKEY QUOTE
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Question: "What's the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull?"
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Answer: "Lipstick!"
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Alaska governor and vice presidential candidate Sara Palin, a "hockey mom"
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: gridironfans.com

Image: amazon.com
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NFL INSULTS
Quotes by \ about Redskins \ Cowvboys (from sports forum)
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"Joe Theismann is a garbage-mouth little SOB. He's such a hot dog that all he needs is a bun."
-John Dutton
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"Die you dogs. Die you Dallas dogs."
- Sam Wyche
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"Any helicopter that came over (the practice field), the coaches would look up and say 'Damn, that's George Allen up there with a notebook.'"
-Walt Garrison
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"If you knock Staubach out, you've got that rookie facing you. That's one of our goals."
- Diron Talbert (Staubach was knocked out in the 3rd quarter, Thanksgiving Day, 1974, with the Redskins leading 16-3 -- but the rookie, Clint Longley, came in to beat us, 24-23)
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"When you sign with Washington, you sign a contract to hate the Cowboys."
-Charles Mann
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"Losing to Dallas was the worst feeling in the world. You'd rather have your arm cut off."
-Diron Talbert
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"If you grow up in metro Washington, you grow up a diehard Redskins fan. But if you hate your parents, you grow up a Cowboys fan."
-Jim Lachey
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"If you came out of the (Dallas) game and you weren't bleeding, you hadn't played."
- Ken Houston
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"Yeah, but only after he went for my knees three times."
-Jack Pardee, after being accused of trying to knee Dallas receiver Lance Alworth in the head.
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"No!, Danny! No!"
-Coach Tom Landry from the sidelines to his QB, Danny White, during a 4th and inches play, after it became clear the drawing the Redskins offsides ploy wouldn't work. The ball was snapped, Cowboys lost yardage, the ball, and the game. December 11,1983
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"George Allen never used to say 'the Dallas Cowboys', it was always 'the goddamned Dallas Cowboys.' It's the Cowboys' uniform. It strikes hate and loathing in my mind, almost in a Pavlovian sense."
-John Wilbur
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"I got to the line, and I said to Randy White, 'Our coaches love you. We're going to run it over you again and again.' Randy wasn't very happy, but after three or four times, he didn't say a word."
-Jeff Bostic
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"Any Cowboys fan that thinks the Redskins game is just another game is either very young or very stupid."
-unknown veteran Dallas fan
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"I know we don't have any Dallas people here — they are the ugliest people in the world."
- Joe Gibbs during Fan Day, Training camp, 2005.
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: brisbane.citysearch.com

ZHONG MAN BITES HIS GOLD MEDAL

Image: 2008.sina.com.cn

OLYMPICS SPORTS QUOTES

Gold Medal Quotes from the Beijing Olympics

Whether it’s a mangled metaphor or something lost in translation – there’s plenty of interesting stuff coming from the mouths of the athletes this Olympics.

There are many different languages spoken at the Olympics, and some interesting versions of English, too. Sometimes you just can't help feeling that something has been lost in translation.
Or perhaps athletes aren't always that good at saying what they mean.

"I just lay on my bed and watched soap operas," said Zhong Man, the first Chinese male fencer to win Olympic gold, of his preparation.

"They're human. I'm human and I'm American," said US archer Khatuna Lorig of her Korean opponents.

"Now we start from scratch, killing one lion a day," Brazilian beach volleyballer Renata Ribeiro stated, on reaching the Round of 16.

"The routines were very difficult, but if you don't take risks, you don't drink champagne," according to Russian gymnastics coach Valeri Liukin.

"I don't think my opponent is anything special," was Bulgarian wrestler Nikolay Gergov's assessment after winning.

"Male bees live for one moment, then they die. For us swimmers this moment come only once every four years," was Austrian Markus Rogan's way of emphasising the importance of his race.

"The gold medal, when we bite it there is not much taste," is the update from Chinese diver Huo Liang.

"He is just a normal person, although he may be from a different planet. A planet from another galaxy," Russian swimmer Alexander Sukhorukov said of the one-and-only Michael Phelps.

And let's not go easy on our own.
"I had a chat with (American swimmer) Natalie Coughlin. It's nice to know the people you race against aren't as scary as they look," may or may not be Aussie Alicia Coutts' way of paying a rival a compliment.

"The wheels fell off, but we got back on the horse," was diver Robert Newbery's explanation after he and partner Scott Robertson put in a shocker early in the 3m synchro, but dived well later.

"I'm going to be getting drunk - really drunk - and commiserating," said canoeist Lachy Milne after failing to make the final, proving beyond doubt that he is an Aussie.

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Murray Brust in Beijing for Citysearch
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: en.gamers.com

Image: digicinema.blogspot.com
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OLYMPICS SPORTS QUOTES
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The 10 Best Movie Quotes About the Olympics
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Click here to view ===> OLYMPICS
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Movies referenced:
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Cool Runnings (1993)
Sleuth (1972)
Chariots of Fire (1981)
Iron Will (1994)
Grease (1978)
Personal Best (1982)
War Photographer (2001)
Jackpot (2001)
Without Limits (1998)
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======================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: cbc.ca

Image: turnster.co.uk
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OLYMPICS SPORTS QUOTES
Quotes from the Beijing Olympics, 2008
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They said it - quotes from the Olympic Games
Sunday, August 24, 2008
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"It's like I imagine being a man. It's like being kicked in the nuts repeatedly, that's how bad it feels. You feel like you want to curl up and die."
— Sherraine Schalm, Canadian fencer, describing how she felt after losing her round of 16 bout to a rival Hungarian opponent.
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"These were truly exceptional Games."
— Jacques Rogge, International Olympic Committee president, at the closing ceremony of the Beijing Olympics.
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"The geezer bit me!"
— James Degale, British middleweight boxing champion, complaining about final opponent, Cuban Emilio Correa.
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"In 2004, I won a bronze. This is a silver. Maybe in 2012, it will be a gold. Slowly, slowly."
— Eliud Kipchoge, Kenyan runner-up in the 5,000 behind the great Kenenisa Bekele of Ethiopia.
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"He's from another planet, I think … He's from a whole other league. He could do a cartwheel and win this thing."
— Jared Connaughton, 200-metre sprinter from New Haven, P.E.I., on Jamaican sprint sensation Usain Bolt.
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"The gold medal has confirmed the fact that I am an outstanding sportsman."
— Lin Dan, Chinese badminton gold medallist, affectionately nicknamed "Super Dan."
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"Obviously, this is the best of times and the worst of times."
— Hugh McCutcheon, U.S. volleyball coach whose team won gold two weeks after his father-in-law was killed in a bizarre attack in Beijing.
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"I felt like a famous singer. The whole stage was only for me. It was so cool."
— Yelena Isinbayeva, unrivalled Russian pole vaulter, who set a world record in her win.
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"In my mind, I felt good, but my legs didn't have enough running behind them … I felt like I was just running on one leg."
— Paula Radcliffe, British marathoner and current world record holder, after finishing the race.
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"I'm going home and getting something to eat and then straight to bed."
— Bryan Clay, exhausted American decathlete after winning the gold medal.
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"I've never been so angry in all my life. I saw a team that didn't show any will to win. …It's shameful to lose this way to Argentina.''
— Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, Brazil's president, after his country's 3-0 semifinal loss in men's soccer.
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"I just didn't have it today. It's a hell of a time not to have it. That's the worst 1,000 (metres) I've put together in years. I was a spectator."
— Adam van Koeverden, Canadian kayaker, after finishing eighth in the K1 1,000 final, an event he won bronze in four years ago in Athens.
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"I'm very good at knowing where to push the line. If I ever disrespect a ref, it's because they really screwed up."
— Todd Rogers, U.S. beach volleyballer.
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"He can barely walk, he was in tears and he is very depressed,"
— Sun Haiping, personal coach of injured Chinese hurdler Liu Xiang.
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"I have been cheering for the Canucks for how long and they still haven't won a Stanley Cup. I still love them. I hope Canadians can think of us the same way."
— Brent Hayden, Canadian swimmer, when asked if Canadians would be frustrated with the swim team's performance in Beijing.
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"It was beyond skills almost, it was so primeval ... It was just auto-pilot. We were flying blind, rowing blind, we rowed from the heart."
— Steve Williams on how his British teammates caught Australian rowers for gold in a razor-close final in the men's four.
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"As a girl, she never cried for injuries or bleeding. She would just cry for losses."
— Lu Hai, coach of 20-year-old Chinese gold medal wrestler Wang Jiao.
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"I'm pretty angry. I'm going to write a nasty letter. This is the Olympics. It's not that difficult to organize a three-kilometre run. We've never run like this before."
— Monica Pinette, Canadian pentathlete, on the organization of the modern pentathlon competition in Beijing.
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"I understand the joy. He might have interpreted that in another way, but the way it was perceived was 'Catch me if you can.' You don't do that. But he'll learn. He's still a young man."
— Jacques Rogge, IOC president, on Usain Bolt's celebration after his 100-metre win.
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"Come on…when you're running, if you see you're going to win, you're going to celebrate. You're going to be Olympic champion, you're just happy."
— Bolt told CBC Sports.
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"Oh Lord. The second place stepped out. The third place stepped out. Hopefully Usain stepped out, too so I'm going home with the gold!"
— Shawn Crawford, eventual silver medallist from the U.S., who was originally fourth in the 200-metre sprint before a pair of disqualifications.
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"I'm looking forward to not doing anything, just sitting and not moving."
— Michael Phelps on what the American swimmer will do after winning
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: holyroodchronicles.blogspot.com

OLYMPICS SPORTS QUOTES
Quotes from the Beijing Olympics, 2008
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1. Chris Hoy
Next day, Hoy meets some Scottish journalists. One puts it to him that: 'In the last 24 hours everyone has been offering an opinion on Chris Hoy. But what does Chris Hoy think of Chris Hoy?'Hoy doesn't miss a beat: 'Chris Hoy thinks that the day Chris Hoy refers to Chris Hoy in the third person is the day that Chris Hoy disappears up his own arse.'
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2. Rebecca Adlington
"Someone asked me whether they should make a statue of me somewhere. How daft is that? Who'd want a statue of me with my big shoulders?"
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3. Bryony Shaw
Expressing her delight at clinching a bronze in the dramatic windsurfing competition in Qingdao, Shaw told the BBC "I am so fucking happy."
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: mirror.co.uk

Image: images.mirror.co.uk
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SOCCER QUOTES
English football quotes by Kevin Keegan
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Kevin Keegan quotes and football 'wisdom'
By Steve Anglesey, Mirror.co.uk 2/09/2008
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Kevin Keegan's return to football in January was warmly welcomed, not least on Tyneside where he was hailed as a returning hero.
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And while we looked forward to some spectacular attacking football harking back to his 90s team, we were also excited to hear more from the man who has provided plenty of daft quotes over the years...
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"In some ways, cramp is worse than having a broken leg."
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"You get bunches of players like you do bananas...though that is a bad comparison."
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"Argentina won't be at Euro 2000 because they're from South America."
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"They're the second best team in the world and there's no higher praise than that."
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"One of his strengths is not heading."
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"He's using his strength. And that is his strength, his strength."
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"My father was a miner and he worked down a mine."
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"Hungary is very similar to Bulgaria. I know they're different countries..."
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"England have the best fans in the world and Scotland's fans are second to none."
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"Against France we'll have to be at our best both technically, tactically and spirit-wise."
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"You can't do better than go away from home and get a draw."
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"We deserved to win this game after hammering them 0-0 in the first half."
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"I don't think there's anyone bigger or smaller than Maradona."
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"The 33 or 34 year olds will be 36 or 37 by the time the next World Cup comes around, if they're not careful."
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"Maine Road was a great football stadium but as time moved on it stayed where it is..."
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"Chile have three options - they could win or they could lose."
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"Gary always weighed up his options, especially when he had no choice."
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"The tide is very much in our court now."
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"The Germans only have one player under 22, and he's 23."
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"You don't get two chances at this level, or at any other level for that matter."
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"He can't speak Turkey, but you can tell he's delighted."
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"Batistuta is very good at pulling off defenders."
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"There'll be no siestas in Madrid tonight."
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"It's understandable that people are keeping one eye on the pot and another up the chimney."
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"England can end the millennium as it started - as the greatest football nation in the world."
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"I know what is around the corner - I just don't know where the corner is. But the onus is on us to perform and we must control the bandwagon."
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"They compare Steve McManaman to Steve Heighway and he's nothing like him, but I can see why - it's because he's a bit different..."
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"The good news for Nigeria is that they're two-nil down very early in the game..."
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"Despite his white boots, he has real pace..."
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"That would have been a goal if it wasn't saved."
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"Goalkeepers aren't born today until they're in their late 2Os or 3Os."
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"The substitute is about to come on - he's a player who was left out of the starting line-up today."
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"The ref was vertically 15 yards away."
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"Football's always easier when you've got the ball."
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"It's like a toaster, the ref's shirt pocket. Every time there's a tackle, up pops a yellow card."
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"I'd love to be a mole on the wall in the Liverpool dressing room at half-time."
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"The game has gone rather scrappy as both sides realise they could win this match or lose it."
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"I'm not disappointed - just disappointed."
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"There's a slight doubt about only one player, and that's Tony Adams, who definitely won't be playing tomorrow."
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"I came to Nantes two years ago and it's much the same today, except that it's totally different."
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"We managed to wrong a few rights."
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"A tremendous strike which hit the defender full on the arm - and it nearly came off."
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"That decision, for me, was almost certainly definitely wrong."
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"Danny Tiatto is not going to make a mistake on purpose."
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"He'll also be very dangerous from set-pieces. That means he'll be a threat from free-kicks and corners in the final third of the field."
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"Shaun Wright-Phillips has got a heart as big as his size, which isn’t big, but his heart’s bigger than that."
===========================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: news.bbc.co.uk

TENNIS QUOTES
US Open, 2008, day 10 quotes
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Click here to view ===> U.S. OPEN
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Quotes by \ about:
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Andy Roddick
Novak Djokovic
Dinara Safina
Marat Safin
Andy Murray
Juan Martin Del Potro
Serena Williams
Venus Williams
Jelena Jankovic
Nick Bollettieri
Rafael Nadal
Mardy Fish
.
======================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: gameknot.com

Image: oklahomaheritage.com
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SPORTS QUOTES
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The English are not very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity.
- George Bernard Shaw
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Sometimes you're the pigeon, and sometimes you're the statue.
- Bernie Bickerstaff American NBA basketball coach.
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I am a winner. I just didn't win today.
- Greg Norman Australian golf champion.
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People don't win because they're physically stronger. It's because they're stronger between the ears.
- Alex Shaffer American alpine skier.
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You work your whole life to try to be the best you can, even if it's for only one day or one week.
- Lindsay Davenport American tennis champion.
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One day of practice is like one day of clean living. It doesn't do you any good.
- Abe Lemons American basketball
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What's Abe talking about, Alan? ;-D
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