Funny Sports Quotes \ Source: finkbine.com

"Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good. Unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off." -Bruce Lansky

"If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball." -Jack Lemmon

"When I'm on a golf course and it starts to rain and lightning, I hold up my one iron, 'caus I know even God can't hit a one iron." -Lee Trevino

"I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine." -Bruce Lansky

"As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round." -Ben Hogan

"My best score ever was 103, but I've only been playing 15 years." -Alex Karris

"Golf is the hardest game in the world to play, and the easiest to cheat at." -Dave Hill

"Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee, who has a deep suntan, a one iron in his bag and squinty eyes." -Dave Marr

"The golf swing is like sex. You can't be thinking about the mechanics of the act while you are performing." -Dave Hill

"Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into a even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose." -Winston Churchill

"Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club don't you?" -Ben Hogan

"You don't know what pressure is until you've played for five dollars a hole with only two in your pocket."-Lee Trevino

"Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore', shoot six and write down five." -Paul Harvey

"A lot of guys who have have never choked, have never been in the position to do so." -Tom Watson

"I'm hitting the woods just great, but I'm having a terrible time getting out of them" -Harry Tofcano

"Golf is a game where guts and blind devotion will always net you absolutely nothing but an ulcer." -Tommy Bolt

"Golf is based on honesty, where else would you admit to a seven on a par three?" -Jimmy Demaret

"It's nice to have the opportunity to play for so much money, but it's nicer to win it." -Patty Sheenan

"I play with friends, but we don't play friendly games." -Ben Hogan

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Funny Sports Quotes \ Source: calvertnews.info

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"The rule was "No autopsy, no foul." ~ Stewart Granger

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"When I dunk, I put something on it. I want the ball to hit the floor before I do." ~ Darryl Dawkins

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"The secret is to have eight great players and four others who will cheer like crazy." ~ Jerry Tarkanian

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"If I weren't earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming." ~ Charles Barkley

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"There are really only two plays: Romeo and Juliet, and put the darn ball in the basket." ~ Abe Lemons

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"The idea is not to block every shot. The idea is to make your opponent believe that you might block every shot." ~ Bill Russell

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Funny Sports Quotes \ Source: predictem.com

Famous Homerun Calls:

Jack Brickhouse: "Hey hey!"

Ernie Harwell: "Long gone!"

Vin Scully: "Forget it."

Harry Caray: "It could be, it might be, It is! A home run!"

Chris Berman of ESPN: "Back, back, back, back... Gone!"

Ken "Hawk" Harrelson: "You can put it on the board.. Yessssssss!"

Dave Niehaus (Grand Slam call in which he emphatically screams:) "Get out the rye bread and mustard grandma, cause it's GRAND SALAMI TIME!"

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