SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Friday, May 29, 2009

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: foxnews.com

SPORTS GAMES TRIVIA
Free online sports games are now competitive with console versions
.
Free Sports Games Score With the Online Set
.
At next month's E3 gaming expo, gamers will be eagerly awaiting a preview of the latest installment in Electronic Arts Inc.' top-selling videogame franchise, Madden NFL 10.
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But for those who don't want to shell out about $60 for it, there's another option: Quick Hit Football.
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Made by online sports gaming company Quick Hit Inc., Quick Hit Football doesn't have any NFL teams, players' names or images in its game. But it doesn't require a console — such as an Xbox 360 or PlayStation 3 — to play. Another difference: it's free.
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Like Quick Hit Football, other free online sports games are increasingly popping up and competing with established sports video game franchises from EA, Take-Two Interactive Software Inc.'s 2K Games and other big companies.
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While free online games are often casual fare with simple premises and graphics, a new generation of games coming out now has console-like graphics and more involved game play.
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Quick Hit plans to launch its browser-based football game by September. In April, Internet entertainment company OnNet USA Inc. launched free online baseball game MLB Dugout Heroes and also struck a deal with Major League Baseball Advanced Media LP for use of its MLB teams and ballparks.
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Last October, San Francisco-based World Golf Tour Inc. also launched a free, browser-based golf game that has virtual versions of real-life golf courses created from high-definition photographs for gamers to play.
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These free online sports games are gaining traction, especially amid the recession as consumers pinch their pennies.
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=================

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: news.bbc.co.uk

SOCCER QUOTES
.
"Every day, every year, you feel like you killed somebody."
Arsene Wenger is unhappy with the flak he has been getting for
Arsenal's long run without a trophy.
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Click here to view ===> SOCCER QUOTES
=================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: reellifewisdom.com

Image: vintagevhs.net
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OLYMPICS QUOTES
Movie quotes about the Olympics
.
Related topic: track and field
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“If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter.”
Grease (1978) – Principal McGee (Eve Arden)
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Click here to view ===> OLYMPICS QUOTES
=================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: reellifewisdom.com

GOLF QUOTES
Golf quotes from the movies
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“A golf course is nothing but a poolroom moved outdoors.”
Going My Way (1944) – Father Fitzgibbons (Barry Fitzgerald)
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Click here to view ===> GOLF QUOTES
=================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: fortlauderdalefishingonline.com

FISHING QUOTES
Quotes by humorists
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Herb Shriner, a popular American humorist, TV personality, and radio host, once said that for you to become a good fisherman, there are just two things you need – patience and a worm. Amusing as it may seem, there definitely is an air of truth to this fishing quote. You certainly can't catch a single fish without a lure – much less a huge amount of patience.

Izaak Walton has his own fishing quotes to spare as well. Walton is an English writer and hobby fisher. He is the author of the book "The Compleat Angler", which is one of the first fishing books ever published. Walton was quoted in his book referring to angling as a skill that is very hard to learn – it is like mathematics that can't be fully understood.

Another American humorist, Patrick McManus, has quoted something about fishing too. McManus' expertise lies in life in the great outdoors. He has columns in several magazines, newspapers, and books about camping, fishing, and the like. He is the one who said that fishing is best done in two types of weather conditions alone - when it is not raining and when it is.
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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: telegraph.co.uk




EYE CANDY (with their ladies) FOR THE LADIES
Image (top): favcelebrity.com
Image (middle): concreteloop.com
Image (bottom): contractmusic.com
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SPORTS PICTORIAL
Celebrity night at the NBA playoffs
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YOU ARE THERE
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Retirees remember the popular CBS series from the
50's that transported TV viewers back in time to
witness a historical event as it happened
(Lincoln's assassination, Pasteur's findings, etc.).
.
YOU ARE THERE is revisited here for the younger
generation as this sports pictorial presents a slide show
of celebrities, including the celebrities cited above,
at the NBA playoffs, 2009.
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Click here to view ===> YOU ARE THERE (SLIDE SHOW)
Note:
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Find the slide show's activating click area in the upper right
corner of the display screen.
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Click to activate an image, then view the enlarged image on
the left side of the display screen.
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=================

Saturday, May 23, 2009

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: bofunk.com

SOCCER HUMOR
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Soccer, never a real favoritte in the U.S., except for soccer
moms and their kids, still remains phenomenally popular
everywhere else in the world.
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Soccer's popularity has much to do with the availability
of a playing area (just about anywhere) and a single
soccer ball, from which youngsters can develop their
athletic skills and compete with their peers for athletic
supremacy.
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The video below presents a demo on why the sport is so
popular around the world.
.
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Click here to view ===> INSANE STREET FOOTBALL
.
==================

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message

SPORTS QUOTES
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FOOTBALL QUOTE
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"If he would have said '78 Impala or something like that, I think I would have known. That's too far back for me."
- Jason Ferguson
Dallas Cowboys' nose tackle, after Bill Parcell's compared him with a 1948 Packard.
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SOURCE: The Baltimore Sun, August 20, 2006, "They Said It", page 2D
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FOOTBALL QUOTE
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"If that had been me, I'd still be lying there. I would have owned a percentage of that team."
-Joe Horn
New Orleans' Saints receiver, on the mishap in which the TennesseeTitans' mascot ran into the Saints' Adrian McPherson with his golf cart.
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SOURCE: The Baltimore Sun, August 21, 2006, "They Said It", page 2C
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-----------------
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FOOTBALL QUOTE
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TICKET - VT
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Used by Dolphins offensive lineman to describe being beaten for a sack, as if a blocker were just an usher taking tickets("Man, Dwight Freeney really ticketed you on that play.")
.
"I got it from my college coach. We'd watch tape and somebody would get beat, and he'd be like 'Ticket, please.' "
- Miami Dophins guard Vernon Carey
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SOURCE: ESPN the Magazine, August 28, 2006, TheJump Squawk (The Wide Words of Sport), p. 50
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--------------
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FOOTBALL QUOTE
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"When his little girl of 4 had a school project about what your daddy does, she said 'he sprays trees'. She thought he sprayed trees when he worked and played football for fun."
- Bonita Favre on her son Brett Favre, Green Bay Packers quarterback.
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SOURCE: The Baltimore Sun, August 29, 2006,"They Said It", page 3E.
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---------------
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FOOTBALL QUOTE
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"We're very confident there was no intent to harm anyone."
- Nick Mango, a lawyer for Maurice Clarett, after the former Ohio State football star was arrested wearing a bulletproof vest and carrying four loaded guns in his sport utility vehicle.
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SOURCE: Chicagotribune.com, August 15, 2006, Quotables
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----------------
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FOOTBALL QUOTE
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"Go Raiders!"
—Robert Charles Comer, executed in Arizona on May 22, 2007
after saying his last words.
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SOURCE: tru-tv.com
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-------------
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FOOTBALL QUOTE
.
In This Corner.....
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WORM CHAMP\n. - used by some NFLers to describe a
defensive player thrown to the ground, as if they were
burrowing into dirt ("Dude, Orlando Pace totally made
you worm champ today!")
Jags D-lineman Paul Spicer:
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-----------------
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BASEBALL QUOTE
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"Eighteen broken bones and seven broken cups."
Johnny Bench, Hall of Fame catcher, on his career statistics.
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SOURCE: Baltimore Sun, They Said It, August 17, 2006
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---------------
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BASEBALL QUOTE
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"A.J., A.J, A.J. He carried it only halfway to first base this time and threw it at our dugout.
That's perfect. Just A.J. being A.J."
- Ron Gardenhire, Twins manager, on White Sox catcher A. J. Pierzynski, who flipped his bat high after a home run that followed being plunked in his previous at-bat in a contentious series.
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SOURCE: Washington Post, August 28, 2006,"Around the Horn", Quotable, page E6.
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BOXING QUOTE
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"I looked around, and it was hard to tell who were the boxers and who were the patients."
-Jin Mosely, wife of Sugar Shane Mosley, recalling a trip she took with her husband and other boxers to visit a convalescent home.
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SOURCE: The Ring, November, 2006, Quotable, page 14.
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BOXING QUOTE
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Light heavyweight champion Archie Moore's
analysis of his fight with Rocky Marciano for
Marciano's heavyweight title in 1955:
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He was a swinging machine, who didn’t seem to know the use of fear.
He didn’t seem to notice the pain of the punches. "No, I was too busy getting hit."
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Archie Moore, his last opponent, said, "It was like fighting an airplane propeller. He had no footwork to stay out of my reach, but then I was the one who wanted to stay out of his. I tried to make him punch himself out, but he never ran out of gas."
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In the 6th round of their fight, Marciano threw haymakers and uppercuts for 45 seconds, nonstop, at the dodging Old Mongoose, most missing or glancing off the top of his head and shoulders, but Marciano just kept swinging until Moore dodged into one too many.
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When asked later which punch hurt the most, he said, "Man, they all hurt! It was like getting hit with a blackjack or a bag of rocks."
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SOURCE: listverse.com
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BASKETBALL QUOTE
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"I like my sex the way I play basketball, one on one with as little dribbling as possible."
(Leslie Nielsen, movie actor)
SOURCE: thatsinteresting.com
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------------
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GOLF QUOTE
.
"Well, they're not actually great reading material."
- Michelle Wie, 16-year-old pro golfer, when asked after being penalized two strokes for a violation in the Women's British Open, if she would read the Rules of Golf.
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SOURCE: The Sporting News, "They Said It", August 21, 2006, page 28.
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---------------
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SOCCER QUOTE
.
"It's the only sport that leaves your hands free for obscene gestures."
- Steve Colbert. comedian and host of theColbert Report (cable) on why he likes soccer.
.
SOURCE: Sports Illustrated, July 17, 2006,"They Said It", page 26.
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AUTO RACING QUOTE
.
"Naturally, I'm going to get a hold of Sheriff White and tell him honestly what happened, not what these crazy idiots that work for him are writing down."
- Bobby Unser, after he and Al Unser, Sr. were arrested for ignoring an Abuquerque police roadblock on Unser Boulevard.
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SOURCE: ESPN the Magazine, August 28, 2006, The JumpSquawk, (The Wide Words of Sport), page 50
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----------------
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EXTREME SPORTS QUOTE
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"They got it half right. I walked away, but with a broken neck and back."
- MOTO X jumper Trigger Gumm, responding to news reports that he was uninjured after crashing on a 315-foot world record attempt on July 23, 2006.
.
SOURCE: ESPN the Magazine, August 14, 2006
.
============

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: pacers.org.uk

TRACK AND FIELD QUOTES
Running quotes
.
"If the hill has its own name, then it's probably a pretty tough hill."
- Marty Stern, Athletics Coach
.
"Get up and walk if you have to, but finish the damned race"
- Ron Hill
.
Click here to view ===> MORE RUNNING QUOTES
=================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: track-and-field-jumpers.com

TRACK AND FIELD QUOTES
Quotes on pole vaulting
.
Click here to view ===> POLE VAULTING QUOTES
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Editor's note:
Source site offers many helpful hints for beginning
jumpers in track and field.
.
Consider returning to the site for helpful information
on learning the art and skill of track and field jumps.
.
DISCLAIMER:
.
Recommendation above is based on a quick overview
of the site and is not based on consultation with any
of the site's representatives.
.
====================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: horners-corner.com

TRACK AND FIELD HUMOR
.
George H. Bush certainly never created the impression that he was one of American politics’ stand-up funny-men.
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Yet he demonstrated a good sense of humor when he flubbed a line during his 1988 presidential campaign.
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Bush said, “We’ve had triumphs. We’ve made mistakes. We’ve had sex.”
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“Sex” was the tongue-tied replacement for “setbacks.”
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Bush recovered easily from his flub by saying,
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“I feel like the javelin thrower who won the toss and elected to receive.”
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=====================

Thursday, May 14, 2009

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: foxnews.com

Image: freerepublic.com
BASKETBALL QUOTE
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"Cheech and Chong would have had a hard time smoking that much."
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Judge Craig Hedric, on ex-NBA player Corie Blount claiming his 29 pounds of marijuana was for personal use.
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====================

Thursday, May 7, 2009

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: espn.go.com

HALLE BERRY \ CATWOMAN

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SPORTS TRIVIA
Notes and quotes about sports celebrity marriages that failed
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: xmb.stuffucanuse.com

Image: static.howstuffworks.com
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SPORTS INSULTS
List of 50 great sporting insults
.
"Like an octopus falling out of a tree."
David Feherty, the former Irish golfer, passes comment on Jim Furyk's swing.
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Click here to view ===> WHO WEARS ARMY BOOTS?
=================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: tennisserver.com


ANNE KEOTHAVONG

Image: img3.allvoices.com
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TENNIS NOTES \ QUOTES \ HUMOR \ QUIZ
.
Take the quiz below to find out if you are a tennis warrior or wimp.
.
Click here to view ===> TENNIS WARRIOR OR TENNIS WIMP?
==================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: forums.hoopshype.com

NBA CHEERLEADERS
.
NBA ANNOUNCER QUOTES
Quotes from a basketball forum
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Click here to view ===> QUOTES \ SOUND VIDEOS
=================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: hockeybookreviews.com


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HOCKEY QUOTES
Quotes from Chris McDonell's Shooting from the Lip:
Hockey's Best Quotes and Quips
.
Top Ten Hockey Quotes
.
10. "Guys, I don't want to tell you half-truths, unless they're completely accurate."
- coach Alain Vigneault.
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9. "Luc Robitaille is a great kid and good player, but ask anybody on the street and they'd probably think Luc Robitaille is a type of salad dressing."
- L.A. Kings owner Bruce McNall on why he brought Wayne Gretzky to Hollywood in 1988.
.
8. "We only speak two languages here: English and profanity."
- Penguins coach Kevin Constantine on the many languages spoken by his team.
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7. "He's the kind of guy who will stab you in the back right to your face."
- St. Louis Blues superstar Brett Hull on coach Mike Keenan.
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6. "We have only one person to blame, and that's each other."
- New York Rangers defenseman Barry Beck.
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5. "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
- Saku Koivu.
.
4. "Getting cut in the face is a pain in the butt."
- Calgary Flames' Theo Fleury.
.
3. "Wayne came over to the bench one day after seeing (Zdeno) Chara, and said 'That's why I'm quitting.'"
- Rangers coach John Muckler, laughing about Wayne Gretzky's comment on Ottawa's 6'9" defenseman Zdeno Chara.
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2. "Tell him he's Wayne Gretzky."
- Oilers coach Ted Green, after Shaun Van Allen suffered a concussion and couldn't remember who he was.
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1. "How would you like it if, at your job, every time you made the slightest mistake a little red light went on over your head and 18,000 people stood up and screamed at you?"
- Hall of Fame Montreal Canadiens goalie Jacques Plante.
.
===================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: bluemooners.com

Image: 3.bp.blogspot.com
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SAILING QUOTES
Sailing \ boating quotes
.
"When I forget how talented God is, I look to the sea."
Whoopi Goldberg
.
"Being hove to in a long gale is the most boring way of being terrified I know."
Donald Hamilton
.
Click here to view ===> SAILING QUOTES
=================

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: telegraph.co.uk

POETRY BOXING NOTES \ QUOTES
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DOING THE DOZENS (Sort of), ORIENTAL STYLE
.
Click here to view ===> WHAT IS POETRY BOXING?
.
-------------------------
'
CAUTION: The video below contains adult content \ discussion
.
Click here to view ===> SEATTLE SLAM'S POETRY BOXING (SAMPLE)
Source: youtube.com
.
==================

Sunday, May 3, 2009

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: youtube.com

U.S.A. WATER POLO TEAM

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WATER POLO NOTES \ QUOTES
.
You know you must be a water polo player when....
.
Click here to view ===> YO, WHERE ARE THE PONIES? ( 5 minute video)
=================

Saturday, May 2, 2009

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: lbhswrestling.a3b3.com

WRESTLING POEM
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MAT BURNS
FACE TO FACE ON A PADDED WALL
WEIGHT ON TOP, NO AIR AT ALL
.
WRISTS & HANDS LOST, NOT FREE
THROBBING PAIN IN THE LEFT KNEE
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MUST WORK BACK TO MY BASE
DOWN BY ONE WITH THE CLOCK I RACE
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ELBOW UP, I FEEL IT TWIST
GRIT MY TEETH, MAKE A FIST
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PRESSURE OFF, NOW THE HALF
LOOK AWAY, I HEARD HIM LAUGH
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RAISE MY BASE OFF THE MAT - HIT A SWITCH AS QUICK AS A CAT
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NOW I'M UP AND HE'S DOWN - IT FEELS BETTER THIS WAY AROUND
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WORK SO HARD FOR THE PIN - BUZZER OFF, I'VE GOT A WIN
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NECK WRENCH, HAMMER LOCK, BODY SLAM
KNEE TWIST, BLOODY NOSE, ELBOW JAM
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YOU TAKE IT ALL, BUT WORTH THE HAZE
WHEN AT THE END IT'S YOUR HAND THEY RAISE
.
--------------------

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: fencing.net

FENCING QUOTES
Quotes from a fencing forum
(about epees, foils, sabers, not about barbed wire, wooden, etc.)
.
“The curve is more powerful than the sword.”
- Mae West
.
Click here to view ===> FENCING QUOTES
==================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: mcsweeneys.net

Image: static.squidoo.com
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BASEBALL QUOTES \ HUMOR
Quotes cited and explained by the Swami - I mean the Yogi
.
YOGI BERRA IS DEEPER THAN YOU THOUGHT.
BY ROSSER CLARK
- - - -
If you see a fork in the road, take it.
.
This statement has always raised the hackles of the determinists, with its implication of free will. I'm more of a compatibilist, in the manner of Hobbes, positing that freedom is an innate attribute of the individual, rather than some abstract notion of will. I've never held to the sort of dreary Calvinism that chains one to a savage deity who has foreknowledge of our sins and suffering and yet is unable or unwilling to intervene due to some mistaken notion of predestination. And, in that spirit, yes, I will eat my salad with my dinner fork. After washing it, of course. You never know where that road has been.
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Wherever you go, there you are
.
.
Because are you not still yourself, with all your achievements and positive attributes as well as your foibles? In the end, you can never run away from who you really are. I'm still not too old to embark on a little mind excursion now and again—toying with the existential, as it were.
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Always go to other people's funerals;otherwise, they won't come to yours.
.
Clearly, I do believe in reincarnation, though more the Platonic view of rebirth, as a purification of the soul and a liberating return to a state of pure being, rather than the Brahmanic samsara, with its cycles of karmic debt. Don't get me started—I could go on all day.
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Baseball is 90 percent mental, and the other half is physical.
.
This seeming logical fallacy had been gnawing at me for years, until the solution recently hit me, right in the middle of a thought exercise in imaginary-number theory—I can whiteboard the calculations, if you're interested. It's all thanks to some shattering concepts in advanced geometry, particularly regarding the vertical axis of the complex-number plane, which allow the numbers to be presented orthogonal to the real axis. What was it Samuel Clemens said? "There are lies, damned lies, and statistics." Quite apropos—or is it just me?
.
It's like déjà vu all over again.
.
Déjà vu is innately repetitive, so I think my premise speaks for itself. Nietzsche, with his representation of eternal recurrence in Thus Spake Zarathustra, would certainly agree. As would Zarathustra's dwarf.
.
Even Napoleon had his Watergate.
.
Perhaps I should clarify. Napoleon's self-coronation in 1804 could indeed be viewed as a military putsch that led to the first modern totalitarian regime. Very much in line with Nixon's controversial statements to David Frost in his 1977 interview, wherein he outlined his theories on the unitary executive. In the end, merely an elaborate attempt to excuse his involvement in the break-in at the Democratic National Committee headquarters. Not that the Federalist Society would agree with me, mind.
.
If the world was perfect, it wouldn't be.
.
How could it be? What with the inherent flaws of a dualistic universe—light and dark, positive and negative, yin and yang. No, it's an imperfect world conceived by an imperfect god. Help us, frail creatures that we are.
.
=================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: indiancricketfans.com

Image: theage.com
.
CRICKET QUOTES
Quotes from a cricket forum
.
Sunil Gavaskar:
.
Once, during the tour of West Indies, a young bowler was trying to get under Gavaskar's skin by sledging. Gavaskar, a senior player retorted "Son, don't waste time sledging at me. I have been sledged at more often than you have taken a piss".
.
Click here to view ===> CRICKET QUOTES
==================