FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message

Image: dvdcorral.com
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CAMPING QUOTES \ HUMOR
Web site presents movie quotes about the camping movie RV.
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Plot Summary for RV (2006):
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The executive Bob Munro is stressed, feeling threatened of losing his job and his lifestyle, since his abusive boss Todd Mallory hired the Stanford's geek Laird to work in their soda's company.
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Bob has promised his wife Jamie Munro, his teenage daughter Cassie Munro and his young son Carl Munro to spend vacations in Hawaii, but Todd demands him to prepare a presentation and attend a business meeting with the owners of a family company in a merging operation scheduled in the same period.
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Bob hides the truth to his family, rents a recreational vehicle and tries to convince his dysfunctional family that a road trip to the Colorado Rocky Mountains would be good to bring old values back to their family.
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After many incidents and while in the trailers parking area, the rookie Bob is helped by the bizarre but friendly Gornicke family. They escape from the Gornickes and initiate a journey of difficulties and leaning, retrieving their forgotten family bonds.
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Written by Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
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Movie trailer for RV:
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Click here to view ===> MOVIE TRAILER
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Movie quotes from RV:
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Bob Munro: What are you doing up so late?
Billy Gornicke: I have a sleep disorder, I haven't slept since I was five.
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Scruffy Teenager: [the Gornickes throw the teenager off their bus after finding out he has Bob's laptop] I didn't steal it, I found it!
Marie Jo Gornicke: Well now you just lost it!
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Bob Munro: [after taking a sudden and far swerve to get away from the Gornickes] Where did you learn to drive like that?
Jamie Munro: How do you think I get the kids to school on time?
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Carl Munro: I think I pulled a muscle.
[flexes]
Moon Gornicke: Where?
Carl Munro: In the woods
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Source: imdb.com
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Bonus entry: Camping Humor I
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How Not to Go Camping Or Terror in the Night
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Click here to view ===> HOW NOT TO
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Source: ezinearticles.com
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Bonus entry: Camping Humor II
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The Art of Camping in the Rain
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Click here to view ===> CAMPING IN THE RAIN
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Source: knuckleheadhumor.com
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: sports.espn.go.com

Image: media.photobucket.com
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SPORTS QUOTES
Web site presents its choices for best sports quotes of 2010.
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"Every second I'm talking to you is another second I'm not at Waffle House."
-- Tennessee forward Wayne Chism, on talking to the media

"I was jacked leaving that room. I didn't even want to visit another room. It was not enough time. We were excited. We were enthusiastic. There was passion. It was just intense, and it was ball, and it was juice. The juice level in that room was high, and it was awesome."
-- Tim Tebow, on meeting with then-Broncos coach Josh McDaniels at the NFL scouting combine
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"I do understand the lure of the maple bars."
-- Seahawks coach Pete Carroll, on wide receiver Golden Tate trespassing into a gourmet doughnut shop at 3 a.m.
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"Those pictures were taken and sent over a year and a half ago, so I've definitely grown since then."
-- Trail Blazers center Greg Oden, on nude photos of him on the Internet
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"It's a sad day all around. In a world of difficult problems, it does not match health care, Israel, terrorism or education. The world won't end with this situation but it is sad."
-- American Basketball Association chief executive officer Joe Newman, on the San Francisco Rumble forfeiting the league's Western Conference championship because the team couldn't afford the $21,000 to travel to Port Arthur, Texas
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"If he was charged with being a colossal a--hole, I would find him guilty. Of assault causing bodily harm, I find him not guilty."
-- Prince Edward Island Judge John Douglas, on junior hockey player Chris Doyle
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"If you send a woman a picture of your junk, it should be humongous. ... That's one of the Ten Commandments."
-- Basketball Hall of Famer Charles Barkley, on the Brett Favre cell phone photo controversy
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"Right now we're like the Germans in World War II. Here comes the boats, they're coming. You have the binoculars, and it's like, 'Oh, my God, the invasion is coming.'"
-- Tennessee football coach Derek Dooley, on his team's struggles
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"I PRAISE YOU 24/7!!!!!! AND THIS HOW YOU DO ME!!!!! YOU EXPECT ME TO LEARN FROM THIS??? HOW???!!! ILL NEVER FORGET THIS!! EVER!!! THX THO..."
-- Bills wide receiver Stevie Johnson, after dropping the potential winning touchdown pass against the Steelers
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"What an a--hole you are. How can you put your leg there where it can get run over, man?"
-- Argentinian soccer legend Diego Maradona, to a journalist he had just run over with his car
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"I'm 65 years old, but people don't say those kinds of things to me. ... Please call me. Someone who has no guts to write something like that needs to have his a-- kicked."
-- Texas A&M athletic director Bill Byrne, in a voice mail to an alumnus who sent him a vulgar e-mail
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"I've made mistakes, I clearly did, but what I was hoping for was that some other dumb--- would get on the front page and take me off the hook. I miss Lane Kiffin."
-- Tennessee basketball coach Bruce Pearl
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"What do I know about college football? I look like Orville Redenbacher. I have no business talking about college football."
-- Ohio State president E. Gordon Gee, backpedaling from the comment that landed him at No. 24 on this list
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"My life is like a tornado, a f---ing hurricane. It's like I'm a naked tornado that comes through a city and there's just so much wreckage. There's so much destruction, and when it's finally over, it's like the morning after and you're sober and ... what the f--- happened here?"
-- Former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: ocregister.com

Image: fr.toonpool.com

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SPORTS QUOTES

Web site presents its choices for best sports quotes of 2010.

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"We want to enjoy this ride as long as we can because after this, it's just babies and memories." - Louis Dale, Cornell guard, after a victory over Wisconsin in the NCAA tournament, March 21. .
"I'm supposed to cut back on dangling participles, and I'm not allowed to split any infinitives for at least another week."
- Vin Scully, after falling at his house and being hospitalized, March 21.
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Click here to view ===> SPORTS QUOTES OF 2010
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: nctimes.com

XIMENA NAVARRETE, MISS MEXICO

MISS UNIVERSE, 2010

Image: img.ezinemark.com

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SPORTS QUOTES

Web site presents its year in review of sports quotes of 2010

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-- Miguel Batista of the Washington Nationals after he was a last-minute substitute starter for Stephen Strasburg and was booed: "Imagine if you go to see Miss Universe, then you end up with Miss Iowa."
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-- Torri Hunter of the Angels, after getting shutdown by Andy Pettitte of the Yankees: "He looked like the Andy Pettitte of old, when he was young."
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-- Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, after Phillies fans ran on the playing field two days in a row: "Even worse, fans jumped onto the field at Camden Yards and beat the Orioles."
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Click here to view ===> SPORTS QUOTES

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message

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Image: 1.bp.blogspot.com
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SOCCER QUOTES
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Plot Summary for Shaolin Soccer (2001)
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Sing is a skilled Shaolin kung fu devotee whose amazing "leg of steel" catches the eye of a soccer coach. Together they assemble a squad of Sing's former Shaolin brothers inspired by the big-money prize in a national soccer competition. Using an unlikely mix of martial arts and newfound soccer skills, it seems an unbeatable combination until they must face the dreaded Team Evil in the ultimate battle for the title.
Written by Anthony Pereyra {hypersonic91@yahoo.com}
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Source: imdb.com
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Movie Trailer for Shaolin Soccer (2001)
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Click here to view ===> MOVIE TRAILER
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Source: imdb.com
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Movie quotes from Shaolin Soccer
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Click here to view ===> MOVIE QUOTES
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Source: imdb.com
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Bonus entry: Sports video of Kung Fu fighting with Bruce Lee
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Click here to view ===> KUNG FU FIGHTING VIDEO
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Source: youtube.com
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: calgaryherald.com

WHO'S THAT WITH JENN STERGER?

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SPORTS QUOTES
Web site presents its quotes of the week from month of October, 2010
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" NY Post reports that Jenn Sterger does not want a Brett Favre probe. Well, obviously."
-- Comedian Andy Borowitz, on the investigation into whether Favre sexually harassed a then-Jets employee by allegedly sending her voicemails and pictures of his genitals.
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"Brett Favre has an elbow injury. The worst part is, it's his texting elbow."
-- Late-night talk-show host Craig Ferguson.

"If I can't text inappropriate photos, then the terrorists have won."
-- From David Letterman's Top Ten Brett Favre Excuses.
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"His uniform is much bigger than mine."
-- Texas Rangers pitcher C.J. Wilson, when asked to compare himself to plus-sized New York Yankees counterpart CC Sabathia.

"I just stepped on the ice and threw my gloves in the air. I had no idea if we'd actually won or not. I was so nervous that it wasn't in. My heart was pounding. I was thinking in those first few seconds, 'If we end up somehow losing and I chucked my gloves off like I won the Stanley Cup, I am gonna kill Patrick Kane.''
-- Toronto Maple Leafs forward Kris Versteeg, on celebrating Kane's Cup-winning goal with Chicago last spring over the Philadelphia Flyers, despite not having seen it actually go in.

"I'm more of a Dexter-type serial killer. The players who were sent down yesterday were shocked to come into my office and it was wrapped in clear plastic."
-- Toronto Maple Leafs coach Ron Wilson, on how he cuts players.
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"Hear about the Welsh brewery that sold 'Tiger Would' ale -- featuring a sexy siren on the label -- during the Ryder Cup. Fittingly enough, the beer looked cheap at first glance but turned out to be quite expensive."
-- Dwight Perry, of The Seattle Times.

"After listener complaints, the Buffalo Bills cancelled a radio ad by an infidelity website whose motto is, 'Life Is Short, Have An Affair.' I've seen the Bills play. Their motto should be, 'Life Is Short, Find A Decent Quarterback.'"
-- Greg Cote, of The Miami Herald, on the woeful state of the upstate New York team.
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message

Image: tajpronze.com

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BASEBALL HUMOR \ TRIVIA \ QUOTES

Web site presents list of unusual injuries suffered by major leaguers in 2010.

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Click here to view ===> BASEBALL HUMOR

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Source: sports.espn.go.com

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Bonus entry: Humorous reality of the aging process on baseball players.

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Web site presents an overview of the aging process on Jamie Moyer's career.

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Click here to view ===> BASEBALL HUMOR \ TRIVIA

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Source: sports.espn.go.com

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Bonus entry: Trash talk and come backs for the aging athlete.

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"Yo mama" trash talk and come backs have been used by many aging

and retired athletes, many of whom, such as John McEnroe, Pete

Rose, and Mike Tyson, already have an arsenal that can bring tears

to the eyes of any adversary, including a Hulk Hogan or a Joan Rivers.

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Many, however, are reserved or soft-spoken and may want to prepare

for the onslaught of "you're so old" attacks by adding trash talk and

come backs to their verbal repetoire.

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Accordingly, for the latter group, the following ammunition is offered

to help subdue the hecklers who are ready to pounce at any time.

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"YO MAMA IS SO OLD THAT...."
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Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.
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Yo mama so old her social security number is 1!
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Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class.
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Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
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Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
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Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
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Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
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Source: ahajokes.co.
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message

Image: posdgis.files.wordpress.com

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SPORTS QUOTES \ ONE-LINERS

Post lists funny sports quotes by sports announcers \ commentators.

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“Ricky Stanzi could have read War and Peace back there, he had so much time.”
– Matt Millen
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“I don’t know if I believe anything that comes out of Lane Kiffin’s mouth.”
– Bob Griese
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(On Chip Kelly’s love of the two-point conversion) “He’d go for four if they let him.”
– Mike Patrick
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Click here to view ===> AMERICAN FOOTBALL QUOTES
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Source: huskerboard.com
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Bonus entry: Web site presents rugby quotes by Bill McLaren.
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Click here to view ===> RUGBY QUOTES
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Source: nowpublic.com
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