SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Thursday, April 24, 2008

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: fun-on.com

SPORTS PICTORIAL

Naked sportswomen try to save handball club

This text was automatically translated from Spanish by Google Translate


elda prestigio

Peculiar the campaign to obtain patrocinadores of these Spanish sportswomen, since they look for a patrocinador that contributes 300 thousand euros to cover the activity with all the season. And they did not have better idea than to put naked.

naked sportswomen


The establishment of the equipment of handball Elda Prestige, that militates in the feminine Division of Honor, put for the Interviu magazine.
The girls are located in the second position of the feminine Division of Honor and will dispute an European competition.
In the city of Elda it is almost impossible to find a unit of the magazine, that left Monday and said that although they are "an equipment with much fan" is "very peculiar who the first day has exhausted all".

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: giga-usa.com

SPORTS QUOTES

You can't tell how much spirit a team has until it starts losing.
- Rocky Colavito

Nice guys finish last.
- Leo Durocher

One is always more vexed at losing a game of any sort by a single hole or ace, than if one has never had a chance of winning it.
- William Hazlitt (1)

The sun don't shine on the same dog's ass all the time.
- Jim "Catfish" Hunter

I don't mind getting beaten, but I hate to lose.
- Reggie Jackson

How can I lose to such an idiot?
- Aaron Nimzovich

If you're a good loser, you keep on losing.
- Paul Richards

It is always advisable to be a loser if you cannot become a winner.
- Frank Zappa

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: various quote \ joke sites

SPORTS QUOTES

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.

Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no known way to kill it that does not involve nuclear weapons.

Dogsled-riding is a sport that is relaxing as well as fragrant.

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

-- Dave Barry

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: doubletongued.com

SPORTS SLANG

alligator arms n.pl. in American football, arms that are not sufficiently extended to catch a ball; generally, short arms on a player.

bag skate n. in hockey, a team practice made of repetitive, strenuous skating drills and sprints, usually without pucks. Also as a verb.

bang v. in baseball, to call off a game because of inclement weather.

bent n. a recumbent bicycle.

beta n. in the sport of rock climbing, advice or instruction on the best way to climb a geographic feature.

big dance n. an important event, esp. when the culmination of long preparation or a series of smaller events; (hence) in sports, a tournament or championship game.

bike-whack v. to ride a bicycle on rough terrain without paths. Also as noun.

bomber n. an old, dilapidated automobile; (hence) a class of such automobiles used with few or no modifications in stock car racing.

bonk v. in bicycling, to become exhausted. Also bonk out and bonking, n.

bootleg trail n. a walking path or track worn into the ground by habitual human passage rather than by design.

bougie n. in volleyball, a hit on the head by the ball.

bounce box n. a container of supplies sent ahead to a series of stops by a cross-country hiker.

brick v. (generally) to fail; (of a person) to commit an error or do poorly; (especially in sports) to miss or fail to reach a target, goal, or destination; (of a musical recording) to fail to be successful or sell well; to stiff; (of an electronic device) to be rendered useless.

bring the wood v. phr. in American football, to play or tackle with extra force or violence.

buckle bunny n. a female groupie of rodeo cowboys.

Bugs Bunny changeup n. in baseball, a slow pitch disguised as a fast ball which seems to stop in front of the plate.

bull tailing n. a sport in which mounted riders take down bulls by the tail.

buscon n. (in the Dominican Republic) a facilitator for legal or bureaucratic matters, such as a job recruiter for organizations in the United States or a baseball scout.

cadillac v. in baseball, to run in an unhurried, showy way; generally, to perform or operate lackadaisically, carelessly, or without worry.

canine freestyle n. a competitive sport in which a dog obeys a handler’s commands in a routine set to music.

chicken head n. in skiing and other snow-based sports, a small chunk of frozen snow; in climbing, a small, round protrusion on a rock face.

chili-dip v. when swinging a club in golf, to hit the ground before hitting the ball.

chippy adj. irritable, tempermental, or fractious.

chocolate foot n. the foot favored to use or to start with when running, biking, or kicking; one’s dominant foot.

circus save n. a spectacular or unorthodox sports move that prevents an opponent from scoring.

Clydesdale n. in running or road-racing sports, a heavyweight classification for (male) participants weighing more than 200 pounds; a runner in that weight class.

cupcake v. to compete or win with little effort.

cutie n. a boxer willing to take, and capable of withstanding, a lot of blows; an unrefined or unorthodox boxer who relies on tricks.

dally n. a turn of rope around a saddle horn.

death cookie n. especially in skiing, a chunk or clump of ice that makes a sport difficult.

decleat v. in American football, to knock an opponent off his feet.

DNF adj. 1. did not finish, in course-based sporting events, such as boating, auto-racing, and horse-racing. 2. did not find, in geocaching.

dodgepot n. originally, a race horse that is heavily favored but has mixed success; (hence) a quirky or eccentric person.

dog n. in horse racing, a cone or barrier for delimiting a path.

doosra n. a cricket delivery bowled in such as way as to spin away from right-handed batsmen.

dub n. an automobile wheel measuring twenty inches in diameter.

dugout n. a beach-side shelter for surfers.

ecuavolley n. a form of volleyball with a high net, three players per side, and permissive ball-handling rules.

endo n. 1. a bicycling accident in which the rider is thrown forward over the handlebars. 2. an intentional bicycle stunt which lifts the bike’s rear tire off the ground.

ferret legging n. an endurance test or stunt in which ferrets are trapped in pants worn by a participant.

filthy stuff n. in baseball, good pitching.

flip v. to force oneself to vomit, esp. among horse-racing jockeys.

flutz n. in ice skating, a flubbed lutz executed as a flip. Also as v.

flymph n. a fishing lure resembling an insect between the nymph and fly stages of development.

full-gorilla adv. in baseball, aggressively or with the utmost force, especially in the phrase to go full gorilla.

fumblerooski n. in American football, a play in which the quarterback pretends to fumble and a teammate picks up the ball.

futsal n. an organized form of indoor soccer.

G-machine n. an automobile capable of withstanding one g of extra gravitational force due to braking and turning at high speeds; (hence) any fast vehicle, such as an automobile or boat.

gamer n. in sports, a committed or exceptional player.

gasser n. a sprint, usually run in series as a form of athletic conditioning.

go north with the club v. in baseball, to join a major league team (from a farm team or the minor leagues).

goon v. to act like a goon; to attack (someone) with undue or unprovoked violence.

grayshirt v. to not participate in a college sport (for a season) while still retaining elibigility.

groove n. an ideal driving path on a car-racing track.

grow teeth v. phr. in golf, (said of a course or hole) to become difficult; generally, to increase in importance or effect.

gurgitator n. a person who participates in eating competitions

hammerhead n. a committed bicyclist; an aggressive or adventurous cyclist.

handbags at ten paces n. a verbal spat, usually between athletes on the field of play.

headsy adj. smart and bold; clever and ballsy.

heart-attack attrib. in sports, connoting an animal, person, or group known for come-from-behind or very slight victories.

hog-dogging n. 1. a (blood) sport in which trained dogs corner (wild) pigs; 2. showing off; hot-dogging.

hoofball n. football (U.S.: soccer) played with a focus on long kicks (rather than on dribbling and passing).

hot shoe n. a reckless or unnecessarily fast race-car driver; (hence) a winning driver.

hully-gully adj. haphazard, disorganized, inconsistent, loosey-goosey. Also adverb, willy-nilly, pell-mell, helter-skelter, and noun, hustle and bustle, hurly-burly, hullabaloo.

hyzer n. in disc golf or other disc-related sports, a backhanded throw which curves in a direction opposite of the arm used to throw.

kegler n. a bowler.

kiss-and-cry area n. at a sports competition, a place where athletes and coaches wait while scores are tallied.

kneelo n. a person who rides a kneeboard.

leave everything on the field v. phr. to commit wholly to, or to try one’s best at, a sport or a game.

libero n. in volleyball, a restricted, roaming back row player.

limb hanger n. a male turkey with long heel spurs.

lose the dressing room v. of a sports team manager or coach, to not have the respect of the players.

lung-opener n. a sporting event which begins a series of contests or a season.

mail it in v. phr. to perform in a cursory or sub-standard manner.

money adj. in baseball, capable of saving a game or season through heroic effort.

moneyball n. a derisive name for a sport (especially baseball) in which skill and fans seem secondary to money, esp. a sport in which teams, hoping to secure winning seasons and the resulting broadcasting and merchandising incomes, negotiate expensive contracts with desirable players.

monkeyfishing n. catching fish by first charging water with an electric current, then netting the stunned or panicked fish.

new shooter n. a horse entering a race, but one that has not been an active participant in the horse-racing circuit, particularly those races which include or lead up to one of the Triple Crown events; a new-comer or long-shot.

Nintendo slider n. in baseball, a pitch which breaks unexpectedly over the plate, as if remotely controlled.

noodle v. to hunt bare-handed in water for fish or turtles.

on (one’s) bicycle adj. in boxing, constantly moving around a ring (to avoid an opponent).

open (up) daylight v. phr. especially in horse racing, to out-distance a competitor.

pamper pole n. a tall shaft of wood or metal up which a person climbs and then stands in order to grab a trapeze and then swing

pinhook v. to speculate in race horses.

plyometrics n. a type of fast exercise in which the muscles are not allowed to fully contract after being extended, typically involving jumping and bouncing.

pogie n. a protective mitt that attaches to a boat paddle.

pooch punt n. in American football, a kick made just short of the opposing goal; a kick made for purposes of strategy rather than for scoring a field goal. Also as v., to pooch-punt, to pooch-kick, or to pooch (a ball).

potato n. in professional wrestling, a real hit that injures, as opposed to an orchestrated, harmless one.

potpourri fishing n. a type of fishing which offers a variety of (in-season) species or in which more than one method can be used.

pow-pow n. powder snow.

puck bunny n. a female fan of hockey or hockey players; a hockey groupie, especially one who has casual sexual relations with players.

quinfecta n. an achievement made up of five major parts. Also quintfecta.

racino n. a race track which offers other forms of gambling in addition to betting on races.

rake v. in baseball, to hit well.

red light fever n. 1. excitement or unusual behavior when confronting a recording device, specifically: nervousness, giddiness, or talkativeness in front of a live microphone or video camera; the desiring or seeking of media attention. 2. in vehicles, a tendency to have a false start during a race; to run a red light.

redboard v. to speculate on the outcome of a horse race that has already finished.

redwash n. a series of repeated victories of the Ferrari Formula 1 car racing team, with driver Michael Schumacher, to the exclusion of almost all other teams.

rexing n. organized or competitive rollerskating to dance music; roller disco; (hence) a leg-scissoring movement in skating sports.

sack dance n. (originally) in American football, a showy celebratory dance performed after the take-down of a ball-carrying quarterback; (hence) especially in competitive events, demonstrative movements or gestures by a person in a (self-perceived) advantageous position.

sag wagon n. at a bicycling event, the vehicle which carries bicyclists who have withdrawn from the event (due to injury, bicycle malfunction, tiredness, etc.)

scamdicapper n. a fraudulent or dubious oddsmaker.

scuffle v. in baseball, to not play well or to be in a slump.

sidewalk alumni n.pl. fans of a sports team from a school or college they never attended or have no direct ties to.

skull v. in golf, to hit a ball too low and too far, usually the result of striking it above its center.

skybust v. to shoot at flying game birds that are too high or out of range.

slobber-knocker n. especially in American football, a powerful collision or a match featuring unusual phsyical violence or intense play; (hence) also in other sports, an exciting game; an exciting or emotional event. Also v., slobber-knock, to hit with extreme force; to decleat; also figurative.

slump buster n. an unattractive woman sought by a man for sexual relations in order to improve his sports-playing abilities or his involuntarily inactive sex life.

smearing n. a climbing technique in which the soles of the shoes are used flat against the surface being climbed.

snakebite v. to bring (someone) bad luck; to ruin or spoil (a shot, a deal, a game, etc.); snakebite n. bad luck; unluckiness; a curse.

soap scrimmage n. especially in non-professional American football, a practice game for which the cost of admittance is a bar of bath soap.

spin v. in horseracing, to renege on an agreement to have a jockey ride a racehorse.

stashing n. in American football, the placing of an uninjured player on the injured reserve list to preserve rights to the player.

stick the landing v. phr. to finish an athletic, gymnastic, or other sports performance with an ideal pose or stance, especially after a jump or leap; (hence, also outside of sports) to do or finish well; to win.

stiffs n.pl. in soccer, a reserve or second-string team or its players; a league, figurative or real, of such teams.

stooper n. at a race track, a person who picks up discarded bet tickets in search of those which represent unclaimed winnings.

taco v. especially in cycling, to bend or fold (a wheel) in the middle.

talent bucket n. especially in sports, a team or pool of skilled labor; a person’s skill set.

teamgym n. a form of group gymnastics that includes trampette, tumbling, and a choreographed floor routine.

three-jack n. in golf, taking three putts to sink the ball in a hole.

throw (someone) under the bus v. phr. to reject or betray (someone); to treat as a scapegoat; to put out of favor or at a disadvantage.

tick-tacker n. at a horse track, a person (often a tout) who communicates information to others by hand signals.

tin medal n. an award jocularly said to be given to a fourth-place finisher; (generally) a prize for poor or unremarkable performance; a worthless honor or military decoration.

tomato can n. an inferior boxer.

tombstoning n. 1. the use of the names and data of dead persons to commit fraud. 2. In the U.K., the pastime of leaping from heights into bodies of water.

tools of ignorance n. a baseball catcher’s mask, shin guards, and chest padding.

two and barbecue other. in the phrase go two and barbecue, to be defeated in the first two games of a double-elimination tournament.

wags n.pl. the wives and girlfriends of an all-male sports team.

wear one v. phr. in baseball, to be hit by a pitch.

wedgie n. jocularly, a standard bicycle.

whoa break v. phr. to train a dog to stop in response to a verbal command.

whoop n. (also whoop-de-do) a bump or undulation in a trail used for riding or racing motorcyles, bicycles, or motorbikes.

woolly-booger n. (also woolly-bugger) 1. (colloquial) the larval-stage insect known as the woolly worm or woolly bear; a fishing fly that resembles such an insect. 2. (in the American Southwest, slang) an extraordinary example of a thing. 3. (in Oklahoma and Louisiana, slang) provisions intended to be overlooked in legislation.

yard sale n. especially in skiing or other snow-based sports, a fall or spill; a wipeout.

yips n. nervousness which interferes with precision playing, especially in golf; a case of nerves; the jitters.

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: btinternet.com

SPORTS QUOTES

Mike Lucci, Detroit Lion linebacker, on his three key interceptions against the Chicago Bears: "Yeah, they gave me the game ball. If they hadn't given it to me, I would have taken it anyway."

Tom Workman, former NBA-ABA basketball player: "They tell you to join the NBA and see all the big cities: New York with all the lights, San Francisco with its night life, San Diego's sunshine. They also say join the ABA and see the U.S.A. Unfortunately, I found this included Steubenville, Ohio; Amarillo, Texas; Elko, Nevada; Cedar City, Utah; and Biloxi, Mississippi."

Hugh Campbell, football coach at Whitworth College in Spokane, Wash., after his team had defeated Whitman 70-30: "It wasn't as easy as you think. It's hard to stay awake that long."

Mike Newlin, Houston Rocket guard, after a game his team lost to the New York Nets: "We were the quintessence of athletic atrocity."

Abe Lemons, University of Texas basketball coach, when asked if he felt his team should be ranked in the Top Twenty this season: "You mean in the state?"

Greg Buttle, New York Jet linebacker, explaining his contractual obligations: "They pay me to practice. Sundays I play for free."