FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: mcsweeneys.net

SOCCER HUMOR
.
Potential Nicknames for the Star Player
on My Son's Soccer Team.
.
BY WENDI AARONS
- - - -
Mauricio the Magnificent
.
El Pompadour
.
The Puerto Rican Pelé
.
Jackass Ball Hog
.
The Apparent One-Man Show
.
Mr. What Kind of 5-Year-Old Has Facial Hair?
.
The Ringer Suspected of Juicin' in His Mommy's SUV Before the Game
.
Seriously, the Boy Has Pubes
.
Le Stealer of Le Fucking Ball From His Own Le Fucking Teammates
.
The Boy Who'd Better Stop Pissing Off the Snack Mom
.
Jesus, Will You Pass It Already?
.
The Kid Whose Ass Will Be Kicked by My Kid Come T-Ball Season
.
================
.
ENDORSEMENT:
.
mcsweeneys.net invites posts from aspiring comedy writers and
publishes selected entries for perusal by its readers.
.
If you are an aspiring comedy writer, this site offers you a chance
to post your entries and compare your entries with those of
posts made by other aspiring comedy writers, keeping in mind
that the site accepts a broad spectrum of topics, not just sports.
.
If you just like comedy, this is a fun site for viewing the
work of amateur comedy writers, many of whom will surprise
with their talent.
.
Enjoy!
--------
DISCLAIMER:
.
I have chosen to make this endorsement on my own and without
any consultation with or compensation from the recommended site.
.
===============

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: famousquotesandauthors.com

Image: realdiehl.com
.
SPORTS QUOTES
.
International sport is war without shooting.
- George Orwell
.
Sport begets tumultuous strife and wrath, and wrath begets fierce quarrels and war to the death.
- Horace
.
Great sport begins at a point where it has ceased to be healthy.
- Bertolt Brecht
.
Sports allow men to build up situations of emergency. What he then demands of himself is unnecessary achievement - and unnecessary sacrifice. He artificially creates the tension that he has been spared by affluent society.
- Viktor Frankl
.
Sport is one area where no participant is worried about another's race, religion or wealth: and where the only concern is 'Have you come to play?'
- Henry Roxborough
.
Every time you win, you're reborn; when you lose you die a little.
- George Allen
.
Knute Rockne liked 'bad losers.' He said 'good losers' lose too often.
- George Allen
.
It is in games that many men discover their paradise.
- Robert Lynd
.
Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed.
- Charles M. Schulz
.
Running for money doesn't make you run fast. It makes you run first.
- Ben Jipcho
.
Horses and jockeys mature earlier than people - which is why horses are admitted to race tracks at the age of two, and jockeys before they are old enough to shave.
- Dick Beddoes
.
I have never been able to understand why pigeon-shooting at Hurlingham should be refined and polite, while a rat-killing match in Whitechapel is low.
- T. H. Huxley
.
Hockey captures the essence of the Canadian experience in the New World. In a land so inescapably and inhospitably cold, hockey is the dance of life, and an affirmation that despite the deathly chill of winter we are alive.
- Bruce Kidd
.
Fatigue makes cowards of us all.
- Vince Lombardi
.
=============