SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Friday, September 5, 2008

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: tvnz.co.nz

MATT COWDREY, PARALYMPICS SWIMMER

Image: eswimmer.swimming.org.au
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SPORTS QUOTES
Quotes of the week from NZ
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Click here to view ===> NZ
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References to:
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TIM HORAN
TIMANA TAHU
DR SULAIMAN AL-FAHIM
NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO
GEOFF OGILVY
LANCE `BUDDY' FRANKLIN
KATIE MILLIGAN
GREG BIRD
MATT COWDREY
ANDREW SYMONDS
BRETT LEE
TIGER WOODS
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: home.comcast.net

Image: golfvideosandbooks.com
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GOLF QUOTES
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"I am planning and God is driving, so thanks to God I shot 65.
-South African Omar Sandys in the Dunhill Links Pro-Am.
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"Life's too short to spend all the time in the gym. I just like to have a few beers and enjoy myself too."
-Ian Woosnam after he beat Colin Montgomerie in the Cisco World Matchplay at Wentworth.
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"It's hard to tell who's going to win this week, but it probably won't be a big, fat guy."
-David Feherty on the heat and humidity during the U.S. PGA in 2001.
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"Love and putting are mysteries for the philosopher to solve. Both subjects are beyond golfers."
-Tommy Armour.
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"Mulligan: invented by an Irishman who wanted to hit one more twenty yard grounder."
-Jim Bishop
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"I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles."
-G.K. Chesterton (English essayist and poet, 1874-1936).
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"Nobody in pro golf reads the money list better than ex-wives."
-The main character in Dan Jenkins novel "The Money-Whipped Steer-Job Three-Jack Give-Up Artist."
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"I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine."
-Bruce Lansky
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"Why am I using a new putter? Because the old one didn't float too well."
-Craig Stadler
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"Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good. Unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off."
-Bruce Lansky
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"Real golfers don't cry when they line up their fourth putt."
-Unknown
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"I told the caddie I wanted a sand wedge and he brought me a ham on rye."
-Chi Chi Rodriguez
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"The uglier the man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law."
-H.G. Wells
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: home.comcast.net

Image: roydoty.com
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GOLF HUMOR
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PHYSICS OF GOLF
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1. The Law of Physics States........it's easier to get up at 6:00 AM to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the yard.
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2. Sometimes it seems as though your cup moveth over.
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3. A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.
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4. Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up having to pray a lot.
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5. A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse than you are.... that's why I get so many calls to play with friends.
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6. That rake by the sand trap is there for golfers who feel guilty about skipping out on lawn work.
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7. If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of your life.
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8. Golf balls are like eggs. They're white. They're sold by the dozen. And you need to buy fresh ones each week.
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9. A pro-shop gets its name from the fact that you have to have the income of a professional golfer to buy anything in there.
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10. It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.
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11. If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight (or worse).
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12. You probably wouldn't look good in a green jacket anyway! A sweatshirt will do just fine.
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13. It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don't get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs and fart if you are performing brain surgery.
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: home.comcast.net


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GOLF HUMOR
Anonymous quotes and sayings about golf
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DOES GOLF MAKE SENSE?
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1.. Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of 18 year old single malt.
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2. You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks.
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3. "I wish I could play my normal game.just once."
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4. "Golf is harder than baseball. In golf, you have to play your foul balls."
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5. If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip: your life is in trouble.
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6. Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely make a perfect shot.
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7. The term "mulligan" is really a contraction of the phrase, "maul it again."
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8. A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers...neither of whom can putt very well.
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9. An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play; it is always possible to get worse.
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10. Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go outand for no reason at all you really stink.
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11. I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.
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12. If your best shots are the practice swing and the "gimme putt", you might wish to reconsider this game.
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13. Achieving a certain level of success in golf is only important if you can finally enjoy the level you've reached after you've reached it.
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14. Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.
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15. Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't work. And both are expensive.
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16. The best wood in most golf bags is the pencil.
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17. To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly.
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18. In golf, some people tend to get confused with all the numbers... they shoot a "six," yell "fore" and write "five".
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19. Swing easy. Hit hard.
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20. If you find yourself pleased that you locate more balls in the rough than you actually have lost, your focus is totally wrong and your personality might not be right for golf...it is also just a matter of time before the IRS investigates your business.
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21. Why is it twice as difficult to hit a ball over water than sand?
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22. "The greatest sound in golf is the Woosh, Woosh, Woosh, of your opponents club as he hurls it across the fairway."
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23. Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks.
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24. "Golf is harder than baseball. In golf, you have to play your foul balls."
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: home.comcast.net

SPORTS QUOTE
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1. Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart.
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2. Form a loose grip.
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3. Keep your head down.
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4. Avoid a quick back swing.
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5. Stay out of the water.
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6. Try not to hit anyone.
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7. If you are taking too long, please let others go ahead of you.
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8. Don't stand directly in front of others.
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9. Quiet please... while others are preparing to go.
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10. Don't take extra strokes.
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11. Well done, now flush the urinal, go outside and tee off..
---> Sign posted at a golf club in Scottsdale, Az <---
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: Various - see post

SAMUEL L. JACKSON, ACTOR
Image: 123abc.blogfa.com
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GOLF QUOTES
Quotes by golf fanatic Samuel L. Jackson
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To be frank, I am as passionate about golf as I am about acting. I very seldom get angry at golf. The year I started golf I had a caddie and one day I did get angry with myself and threw a club. My caddie told me, 'You're not good enough to get mad'. I have never thrown a club since. I enjoy my golf, it does not matter whether I play great or badly. I let it go.
SOURCE: allmovieportal.com
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"The golf course is the only place I can go dressed like a pimp and fit in..."
SOURCE: people.ubr.com
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"Get in the hole!"
Samuel L. Jackson after a 20-yard tee shot by his fellow actor Michael Douglas in the pro-celeb Dunhill Links Championship.
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: sportsillustrated.cnn.com

Image: unfit2print.files.wordpress.com
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SPORTS QUOTES
Quotes on baseball, boxing, golf by Samuel L. Jackson, motion picture actor
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Click here to view ===> JACKSON
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References to:
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Hank Aaron
Barry Bonds
Bob Satterfield
Charlie Sifford
Tiger Woods
Ben Johnson
Carl Lewis
Resurrecting the Champ
Oscar De La Hoya
Lennox Lewis
Hurricane Carter
Rocky
Raging Bull
Million Dollar Baby
Floyd Mayweather Jr.
UFC
Muay Thai
Jet Li
Bruce Lee
Joe Louis
W.C. Fields
Arnold Palmer
Dean Martin
Bob Hope
Bing Crosby
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