FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: rootzoo.com

SPORTS HUMOR
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Aptronym is a name suited to its owner based on their life, job, etc. For instance, a lawyer named Francine Law would have an Aptronym. So would a computer teacher named Mrs. Keyes. In this article, we will examine some of the best Aptronyms in sports.
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Click here to view ===> SPORTS APTRONYMS
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: tennisplanet.wordpress.com

Image: 1.bp.blogspot.com
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TENNIS QUOTES
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“Valentine’s Day was created by women to get men in trouble.”
Andy Roddick
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It’s a lot of bling to play with. You got to have the bling.
--- Serena Williams after playing with $40K diamond earrings
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It’s one-on-one out there, man. There ain’t no hiding. I can’t pass the ball.
--- Pete Sampras
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Though your game is hardly the best you can fray your opponent’s nerves by methodically bouncing the ball at least ten times before your serves.
--- Arnold J. Zarett
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My player box is going to be full of celebrities, too; my dad, this guy Jose Hidalgo, his guest, my buddy from SC [University of Southern California]. That’s about it. I’ll probably get an autograph from Tiger in between sets. I’ll bring a golf ball with me.”
– Sam Querrey on Tiger Woods sitting in Roger Federer’s box for their match in Miami.
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Interviewer: So, are you enjoying New York?
Roger Federer: It’s OK for two weeks.
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Andre Agassi: Let’s see what you’ve got, big boy.
Andy Roddick: Hair.
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Umpire: If the machine beeps, what can I do?
Andy: Switch it off and use your brain!
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When asked how it felt when Mikhail Youzhny won Russia the Davis Cup in the decisive rubber, Safin responded, “It feels better than sex.”
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The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved; the pig is committed.”
(Martina Navratilova)
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"It’s called Retail Therapy.”
(Maria Sharapova, on going shopping after an Australian Open defeat to Serena Williams)
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I think the medical term for the injury is ‘the bottom of my a/s/s hurts.’”
(Andy Roddick)
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I love Wimbledon. But why don’t they stage it in the summer?”
(Vijay Amritraj during the rain-drenched 2007 Championships)
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I could tell you, but I’d have to kill you.”
(Serena Williams to courtside interviewer who wanted to know the content of the notes she reads at changeovers)
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I don’t think anyone ever feared him in the locker room.”
(Todd Martin, on being asked if he thought the ageing Pete Sampras had finally lost the fear factor in the locker room)
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Pete is a step and a half slower.”
(Greg Rusedski after losing to Pete Sampras in the US Open)
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“Against him I don’t need to be a step and a half quicker.”
(Pete Sampras responding to Greg Rusedski’s criticism – he went on to win the title! )
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I remember when Jimmy and I went into confession and he came out a half-hour later and I said, ‘How’d it go?’ He said, ‘I wasn’t finished. The priest said come back next Sunday.’”
(Chris Evert, on Jimmy Connors)
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My feelings are Yevgeny Kafelnikov should take his prize money when he is done here and go and buy some perspective.”
(Andre Agassi)
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Thanks, but no. I want to be a winner.”
(Maria Sharapova on being compared to Anna Kournikova)
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The Argentineans practise on the court for two hours a day, then they must practise in front of a mirror for two more hours saying ‘I’m not guilty.’”
(Vince Spadea on Argentine players and drug testing)
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The trouble with me is that every match I play against five opponents: umpire, crowd, ball boys, court, and myself.”
(Goran Ivanisevic)
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Actually, I tossed it nicely – landed nicely, like airplane. No warning, beautiful. That’s the art of throwing racquets.”
(Goran Ivanisevic)
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Lady, can you speak up a little bit? Indianapolis is a little far from Europe – I can’t hear you.”
(Marat Safin)
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Not yet. It’s my first day on the job. Give me some time.”
(Marat Safin, on not breaking a racket during his first match of 2002)
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If Pete’s child is a girl, my son will like her; if he’s a boy, my son will defeat him.”
(Andre Agassi)
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She is woman . . . I am man.”
(Marat Safin, on being asked the difference between him and Anna Kournikova)
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Be lucky, guess the corner, close your eyes and hope there is a God. You have to be a little religious to break his serve.”
(Magnus Larsson on the key to breaking the Pete Sampras serve)
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I can’t believe he is dumping me, his buddy for seven years, for a kid he’s never seen before.”
(Paul Haarhuis complaining about his doubles partner Jacco Eltingh flying home from the US Open for the birth of his son)
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He can’t cook.”
(Michael Chang, on being asked to list Pete Sampras’s weaknesses)
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They’ve lost my page. Somebody ripped it out. But I’m the main sponsor for the tour! I’m the guy who paid the most fines, so they should give me respect. There should be a page saying ‘This is the guy who paid the most fines.’ I don’t exist now. I’m a ghost, so I can do whatever I want.”
(Goran Ivanisevic, on being left out of the 2004 ATP Player Guide)
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: pages.ph

SPORTS QUOTES
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Take what Muhammad Ali once said: “I’m so fast I could hit you before God gets the news.”
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“The man who will whip me will be fast, strong and hasn’t been born yet.”
– Muhammad Ali.
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“Golf is the only game where the worst player gets the best of it. He obtains more out of it as regards both exercise and enjoyment, for the good player gets worried over the slightest mistake, whereas the poor player makes too many mistakes to worry over them.”
– David Lloyd George
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“Brazilian football is not only a sport. It’s a kind of stage play, a theatrical movement.”
– Muniz Sodre
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“A sport where the players actually enjoy getting hit in the head by a ball.”
– soccer advertisement
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“The World Cup is every four years so it’s going to be a perennial problem.”
– English player Gary Lineker
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“To be No. 1, you must train like you are No. 2.”
– sprinter Maurice Greene
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“Sport is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you never know the ending.”
– US playwright Neil Simon
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“I consider exercise vulgar. It makes people smell.”
– writer Alec Thornton
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“Chess. For a game it is too serious, for seriousness too much of a game.”
– German philosopher Moses Mendelsson
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“They don’t give you gold medals for beating somebody. They give you gold medals for beating everybody.”
– Michael Johnson
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“In the end, it’s extra effort that separates a winner from second place. But winning takes a lot more than that, too. It starts with complete command of the fundamentals. Then it takes desire, determination, discipline and self-sacrifice. And finally, it takes a great deal of love, fairness and respect for your fellow man. Put all these together, and even if you don’t win, how can you lose?”
– Jesse Owens
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“Life’s too short for chess.”
– British actor Henry James Byron
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“Pain means progress.”
– Arnold Schwarzenegger
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“Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity. The relationship between the soundness of the body and the activities of the mind is subtle and complex. Much is not yet understood. But we do know what the Greeks knew: that intelligence and skill can only function at the peak of their capacity when the body is healthy and strong; that hardy spirits and tough minds usually inhabit sound gods.”
– US president John F. Kennedy
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“Chess is the gymnasium of the mind.”
– Vladimir Llyich Lenin
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: rte.ie

Image: homepage.mac.com
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SPORTS QUOTES
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'It was better than sex.'
--- Jockey Mick Fitzgerald to interviewer Des Lynam after riding Rough Quest to success in the Aintree Grand National
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'Cricket is the greatest thing that God created on earth, certainly greater than sex, although sex isn't too bad either.'
--- Harold Pinter.
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Click here to view ===> SPORTS QUOTES
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: news.bbc.co.uk

Image: sarabeth3283.files.wordpress.com

SPORTS QUOTES

Maybe a cheesecake for my birthday!"

--- Juan Martin Del Potro's response when asked what he plans to do with his US Open prize money. (Vincent, Harrow).

"Cheesecake. Definitely. Eggs and bacon, English breakfast, I really like that as well. Eggs and bacon for breakfast is great."

--- Chelsea boss Carlo Ancelotti on his favourite things about England. (Chris, UK).

Click here to view ===> SPORTS QUOTES

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: amog.com

SPORTS HUMOR \ QUOTES
Amog.com identifies 27 of the strangest sports in the world
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Amog.com picks the following 27 sports as the
strangest in the world:
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Lawn Mower Racing
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Outhouse Racing
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Street Luge
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Man vs. Horse Marathon
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Buzkashi
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Elephant Polo
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Trugo
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Extreme Croquet
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Extreme Ironing
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Zorbing
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Cheese Rolling
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Curling
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Unicycle Hockey
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Korfball
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Ultimate Frisbee
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Disc Golf
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Bossaball
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Sepak Takraw
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Bog Snorkeling
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Underwater Hockey
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Underwater Rugby
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Underwater Football
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Capoeira
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Chess Boxing
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Shin Kicking
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Kabaddi
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Dwarf Tossing
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SHIN KICKING IS A SPORT?
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Must be! The article cites the following:
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Remember when you were little and some little snotty brat would come up to you and kick you in the shin for no reason? Did you ever think that they may be conditioning themselves for a sport? Probably not, but shin kicking is a real sport. It was invented in the Cotwolds of England in the 1600s and currently an annual event in what is called the “Cotswold Olympicks”.
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I can see someone thinking of rules for the next new
sport, butt kicking - some already excel at it without
the rules!
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The next link provides overviews and some videos for
amog.com's list of 27 strangest sports in the world.
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Click here to view ===> 27 STRANGEST SPORTS IN THE WORLD
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