FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: bartleby.com

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AMERICAN FOOTBALL QUOTES
Quotes cited by Simpson’s Contemporary Quotations, 1988.
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Dave Currey, University of Cincinnati football coach
QUOTATION: We don’t have any refrigerators. We have a few potbelly stoves, but they’re on the coaching staff.
ATTRIBUTION: Referring to Chicago Bears player William “Refrigerator” Perry, Sports Illustrated 2 Dec 85
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George Thoma, grounds keeper
QUOTATION: Grass grows by inches but it’s killed by feet.
ATTRIBUTION: On care of Kansas City football field, NBC TV 21 Jan 87
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London Times
QUOTATION: American football is an occasion at which dancing girls, bands, tactical huddles and television commercial breaks are interrupted by short bursts of play.
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Frank Leahy, former University of Notre Dame football coach
QUOTATION: Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.
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Doug Weaver, former Kansas State University football coach
QUOTATION: I’m glad it happened in front of the library. I’ve always emphasized scholarship. ATTRIBUTION: On being hanged in effigy, Sports Illustrated 9 Jun 86
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Terry Brennan, University of Notre Dame football coach
QUOTATION: If you’re old and you lose, they say you’re outmoded. If you’re young and you lose, they say you’re green. So don’t lose.
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Alex Agase, University of Michigan, assistant football coach
QUOTATION: If you really want to advise me, do it on Saturday afternoon between 1 and 4 o’clock. And you’ve got 25 seconds to do it, between plays. Not on Monday. I know the right thing to do on Monday.
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Barry Switzer, University of Oklahoma football coach
QUOTATION: It was like a heart transplant. We tried to implant college in him but his head rejected it.
ATTRIBUTION: On player who dropped out of school, Sports Illustrated 12 Nov 73
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: bartleby.com

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BASEALL QUOTES
Quotes cited by Simpson’s Contemporary Quotations, 1988.
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Mario Cuomo, Governor of NY
QUOTATION: It was anticipating self-defense.
ATTRIBUTION: On why he once hit a catcher in the face mask while playing minor league baseball, CBS TV 30 Dec 84
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Roger Kahn
QUOTATION: I was showing early symptoms of becoming a professional baseball man. I was lying to the press.
ATTRIBUTION: On becoming part owner of minor league baseball team, Good Enough to Dream Doubleday 85, quoted in NY Times 8 Sep 85
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Harry Reasoner
QUOTATION: Statistics are to baseball what a flaky crust is to Mom’s apple pie.
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Roger Kahn
QUOTATION: A major league baseball team is a collection of 25 youngish men who have made the major leagues and discovered that in spite of it, life remains distressingly short of ideal. A bad knee still throbs before a rainstorm. Too much beer still makes for an unpleasant fullness. Girls still insist on tiresome preliminaries. And now there is a wife who gets headaches or a baby who has colic.
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: bartleby.com

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GOLF QUOTES
Quotes cited from Simpson’s Contemporary Quotations, 1988.
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Hal Boyle
QUOTATION: Does Grandpa love to baby-sit his grandchildren? Are you kidding? By day he is too busy taking hormone shots at the doctor’s or chip shots on the golf course. At night he and Grandma are too busy doing the cha-cha.
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Jack Nicklaus, golfer
QUOTATION: It' s hard not to play golf that' s up to Jack Nicklaus standards when you are Jack Nicklaus
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Gary Player, golfer
QUOTATION: Golf asks something of a man. It makes one loathe mediocrity. It seems to say, “If you are going to keep company with me, don’t embarrass me.”
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John D Rockefeller
QUOTATION: Golf courses are the best place to observe ministers, but none of them are above cheating a bit
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Peter Alfano
QUOTATION: The first thing a television viewer realizes when watching a golf tournament is how the sport tends to make one inclined to whisper and avoid sudden movements, such as walking to the refrigerator [during] a possible birdie putt.
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Paul Moore, Episcopal Bishop of NY
QUOTATION: This summer I tried to take up golf, after many years of avoiding that particular temptation to blasphemy
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George Plimpton
QUOTATION: The smaller the ball used in the sport, the better the book.
ATTRIBUTION: Theory on why books about football don’t sell as well as those about baseball, tennis or golf, NY Times 25 Sep 86
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: bartleby.com

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BOXING QUOTES
Quotes cited from Simpson’s Contemporary Quotations, 1988.
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Joyce Carol Oates
QUOTATION: [The] third man in the ring makes boxing possible.
ATTRIBUTION: On introduction of referees in late 19th century
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Mike Trainer, boxing manager
QUOTATION: [Sugar] Ray Leonard is the kind of guy who’s always looking at the edge of the cliff, fascinated as to how close he can get to it. He hasn’t gotten to the edge yet.
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Joyce Carol Oates
QUOTATION: [Boxing is] a celebration of the lost religion of masculinity all the more trenchant for its being lost.
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Sugar Ray Robinson, prizefighter
QUOTATION: My business is hurting people.
ATTRIBUTION: Comment to NY State Boxing Commission, news summaries 23 May 62
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Joyce Carol Oates
QUOTATION: Love commingled with hate is more powerful than love. Or hate. ATTRIBUTION: On Boxing Doubleday 87, quoted in NY Times 15 Mar 87
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Luis González Seara
QUOTATION: Some violent spectacle is normal in most countries.
ATTRIBUTION: On bullfighting as compared to boxing in the US and fox hunting in Great Britain, NY Times 17 Sep 85
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Larry Holmes
QUOTATION: It’s hard being black. You ever been black? I was black once—when I was poor.
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: news.bbc.co.uk

SOCCER QUOTES
Quotes by and about George Best
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Click here to view ===> BEST QUOTES
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: theloveofsports.com

BASEBALL HUMOR
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Theloveofsports.com corresponent, in his opinion, lists the
50 greatest moments in professional baseball since 1990.
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Click here to view ===> HUMOR
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: cylive.com

GOLF QUOTES
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Tim Allen
Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you're tired and most of your balls are missing.
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Samuel Johnson
A game in which you claim the privileges of age, and retain the playthings of childhood.
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Tom O'Connor
No matter what calamities befall him in everyday life, the true hacker still needs the presssure and inconvenience of four hours of trudging in wind or rain or sleet or sun (or all of them at once), hacking at a white pellet that seems to have a mind of its own, and a lousy sense of direction.
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Walter Hagen
What a shame to waste those great shots on the practice tee.
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John Willis
Rule of Golf: You can't lose an old golf ball.
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Michael Green
A coarse golfer is one who has to shout "fore" when he putts.
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Michael Green
The secret of missing a tree is to aim straight at it.
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Michael Green
What is needed instead of all these instructional books on how to play golf is a walloping good book on how to give it up.
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Robert Browning
The trouble that most of us find with the modern matched sets of clubs is that they don't really seem to know any more about the game than the old one's did!
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Henry Beard and Roy McKie
Practice Tee: The place where golfers go to convert a nasty hook into a wicked slice.
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Henry Cotton
Missing a short putt does not mean you have to hit your next drive out of bounds.
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Jack Burrell
My clubs are well used, but unfortunately not used well.
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Jack Nicklaus
The older you get the stronger the wind gets...and it's always in your face.
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Jack Nicklaus
It takes hundreds of good shots to gain confidence, but only one bad one to lose it.
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Jane Swan
My golf is improving. Yesterday I hit the ball in one!
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Carol Mann
A golf swing is a collection of corrected mistakes
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Michael Ryan
There is no movement in the golf swing so difficult that it cannot be made even more difficult by careful study and difficult practice.
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Don Adams
I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot.
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Ben Hogan
This is a game of misses. The guy who misses the best is going to win.
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Bob Hope
I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters.
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: cubbiesbaseball.com

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BASEBALL QUOTES \ TRIVIA
Quotes about the Chicago Cubs
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The Curse of the Chicago Cubs
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Click to view ===> CURSE
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References to:
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William "Billy Goat" Sianis \ P.K. Wrigley \ Ernie Banks
Fergie Jenkins \ Billy Williams \ Steve Garvey \ Leon Durham
Rick Sutcliffe \ Ryne Sandberg \ Bill Buckner \ Rod Beck
Ron Santo \ Moises Alou \ Steve Bartman
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: reellifewisdom.com

OLYMPICS SPORTS QUOTES
Quotes from the movies about the Olympics
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“Well, as they say in the Olympics, it's not the winning, it's the taking part that counts.”
Sleuth (1972) – Milo Tindle (Michael Caine)
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Click here to view ===> QUOTES
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